After dinner and the family talk, Christian went back to his room eager to continue the book. Picking up the book from his table, he jumped on his bed before burying his head into it.

*My body shook as the scene kept on replaying in my mind. After what felt like forever, I had the courage to leave the room, scared to stay in the house alone, I went back to work and then the sleepless night began.

A week later, I left work the way I use to do but this time it was to prepare lunch, Mom had gone to church so, she wasn't around 'cause mom was a full housewife, dad never agreed for her to work so,she only left for church or market, no friends according to what dad wanted.

That faithful day while preparing my lunch, I heard the door open and I wondered if my mom was back but then she wasn't the one but rather my dad who walked into the kitchen. Ever since last week's incident, I didn't speak to him and he ignored me too, not like we were actually close before,he was a very strict man  that we all feared and hated when he gets back because his return spelt trouble. If he wasn't shouting or complaining, he would be beating mom.

He strollled into the kitchen and I wondered why he walked in, my dad wasn't someone that loved the kitchen so, seeing him then was surprising but it soon became shocking when he hugged me from behind, I shuddered at his touch while wondering why he hugged me, I had no memory of him hugging any of us not even mummy, it wasn't until I felt his hand on my laps did I realize it wasn't a fatherly hug, he kept on carressing my laps and I jumped away from him only to receive a slap.

Looking at him in surprise, his face was red whichade me think he was drunk, little did I know he was in his right state of mind, to cut the long story short, he locked the kitchen door and pounced on me he deflowered me that day on the kitchen counter.

When he was done, he apologized and told me it was the action of the alcohol while I ran up to my room withu tattered clothes, bolted the door and swam in my tears.

Christian shut his eyes for some seconds and heaved before continuing

After crying my eyes out, I went to the bathroom and scrubbed my body to the extent that I started feeling the pain, after satisfying myself, I walked out and continued another phase of my tears. My mother was the first to get back, she banged on my door several times but I didn't open, likewise Fara, Lola and Lara.

I didn't come out of the room for two straight days and when I finally came out, the first person I set my eyes on was the monster that called himself my dad, he apologized again looking like a sincere person but soon changed into the beast he was by threatening me with a knife not to utter any word with any one.

After that day, I became his prey, he would appear in my room at the middle of the night, beat me before having his way saying he enjoyed his women being in pain before sleeping with them, no wonder he was always beating mom but then he was fond of battering her, I couldn't scream because he always held on to my neck tightly that sometimes I do wonder if I wasn't dead. As if that wasn't enough, he would come home in the afternoons when Mom went to church or market, call me home, have his way in the same pace and threaten me with a knife or rather squeeze my neck.

I couldn't tell anyone, telling mother would be the worst, I didn't want her confronting him and end up getting beaten, she had her own problems and I couldn't compound mine with hers, it was enough that she was a prisoner in her matrimonial home, having a loveless marriage accompanied with battering was just the worst. Not wanting to be a burden to anyone, I decided to keep to myself.

I started having nightmares, one of him chasing me or trying to kill me and the reflection of his dead cousin always appearing. I found it hard to sleep most times without the aid of sleeping pills, I moved on from bad nightmares, screams to hallucinations. I always saw his dead cousin telling me to reveal the truth, from then, my life changed totally, I became the shadow of myself, I rarely talk, Fara and my cousins were getting worried about my change and my mother tried talking to me but I shut every one out.

I only stayed in my shell, no friends and nobody to share my problems with. It went on for two years and it started affecting me psychologically and academically, I couldn't focus again, I turned to the quiet type who found it hard to communicate with others. At first I only said few words to my mother, Fara and cousins but not my dad, I never spoke to him,his threats kept on coming and him always telling me to keep mute remained in my brain and that was how I muted everything.

The straw that broke the horse back was when I decided I couldn't take his assault and molestation anymore, I decided to report him to a Non-governmental organization I heard about, one that takes cases like mine but then he found out, only the heaven knew how he got to know, he beat me to stupor that day, collected all my gadgets and locked me in my room for days while lying to my mother and my siblings that I was the one that decided to shut myself out from everyone and lock myself in.

My mom later found the keys to my room in his possession and my gadgets while cleaning his room, she confronted him about it and got the beating of her life, he banged her head on the wall and she slipped out of consciousness, after realizing what he'd done, he rushed her to the hospital while Lara who had overhead their discussions opened my door and let me out, informing Lola and Fara, they took me to the same hospital and that was when U decided I couldn't take it anymore.

My mum was in a comatose state for two weeks and we prayed fervently for her to wake up. We knew if she should die then our life was over. The monster didn't even check up on her but only funded the bills yet he had the guts to eat and party. After the weeks of the wait, mother finally woke up, the day after, the beast ordered her discharge without waiting for her to recuperate well, that same day, he forced mom to prepare his meal even though she wasn't that strong, then I left the house in annoyance.

I got back with his life in my hands, wondering if I should do what I intended to do or not, I met him yelling at mom in the kitchen and even slapping her, that made me make up my mind. Immediately he left the kitchen in annoyance and mother went back to her room, I walked into the kitchen, good thing he had sent Fara and Lola out and Lara was reading, I added the poison to his food, ensuring he ate the food in satisfaction, I watched him struggle for his life without any remorse and that was when I knew I was my father's child 'cause I was only a monster like him. I killed him. I had the blood of a murderer in me, he killed his cousins, he killed my mother mentally and killed me totally.

And now history is trying to repeat itself again, I saw Alex kill Benita, the same way I witnessed my dad kill his cousin, it was after that he molested him just the same way Alex had been trying to harass me after that.

Christian sighed for the umpteenth time as he closed the book. Now he understood why she kept to herself, to have gone through such he'll showed she was a strong person. He dropped the book by his side as his mind kept on going back to what he read. Just how did she survive in such toxicity?