LOVE AND WAR
— 48. Cursed

Once arriving in London, Nora rode her horse straight toward the Tower, disregarding the guards calling out to her, telling her it wasn't safe to travel through London alone.

It was pouring outside and Nora knew the weather condition all too well. It had to have been caused by Elizabeth herself.

She stopped in front of the Tower, climbing off her horse before she sprinted into the Tower. She bolted down the steps, racing to her son's rooms. She had a bad feeling. She had since she watched her sons and Richard ride off to battle. Something wasn't right.

Nora practically lunged for the door to her sons' rooms. "George? Edmund? George!" She shouted, peeking through the opening in the door to find them not inside.

She turned to one of the guards, a worried look on her face. "Guard! Open the door. Open it now!" She practically screamed, tears beginning to form in her eyes.

The guard's hands trembled as he unlocked the door but before he could apologize, Nora had shoved him out of the way and entered the room.

She glanced around, finding the room to be empty. It was clean and the bed was made as well, which she found odd. Her two youngest sons were always messy. They never cleaned up their messes and they most definitely didn't make their beds.

Last time she was there, toys were all over the floor and the bed hadn't been made. Hell, half of the sheets hadn't even been on the bed properly.

Nora yanked off the blankets and the sheets off the bed, finding the sheets to be cleaned.

She knew her sons. After spending so many weeks in that room with a maid rarely even coming to clean, the sheets should have had at least one stain on it, or even the slightest bit of dirt. But there was nothing.

It was too clean. The room was too clean.

Nora began to heave for breath, having difficulty breathing as she fearfully glanced around. She cried out, throwing a glass that had been on the nightstand at the wall. It shattered upon impact but Nora still didn't feel better.

She turned to the guard, a distraught look on her face. "Unlock the door to Edward and Richard's room," She demanded, yet the guard remained in place, "Now!"

Fearfully, the man rushed down the steps and headed straight for the door to Elizabeth's sons' room. He opened the door and Nora entered, becoming even more worried when she saw their room was empty and spotless as well.

As each moment passed, it became more and more difficult to breathe.

Where were her sons? Where were Elizabeth's?

Not in her right mind, Nora began to search the entire Tower. It was as if she expected the boys would miraculously appear.

_____

At Westminster Palace, Lizbeth was sitting in her chambers with some of her ladies, Katherine, and Grace. She had a cup of an herbal drink placed next to her and Grace ended up picking it up, a curious look on her face. She smiled as smelled it, enjoying the scent of the herbs. She did, after all, spend most of her time in the castle's gardens.

She remembered all the times her father would take her walking through them when she was a child. It was the only time they ever got to spend time alone together. Edward would walk through with her, listening to anything she wanted to talk about.

"Mmm. It smells nice. What is it?" Grace asked, a shy smile on her face as she turned to look at her sister.

"It's a brew of lemon and honey, I'm told. Some other herbs as well, ones that are supposed to soothe pains that come with a lady's monthly courses," Lizbeth answered, shrugging her shoulders while her ladies childishly giggled, "You can have it if you like. I don't really have a taste for it right now. My pains aren't that bad."

"Really?" Grace questioned and Lizbeth nodded while smile, "I could really use it right now."

"Better than it going to waste," She remarked and Grace smiled, wasting no time taking a sip of the drink.

Finding it to be something she liked, she drank the rest of it, causing Lizbeth to chuckle at how quickly her sister had gulped it down. "Careful, sister. It might be good but you don't want to choke," She commented, causing the group of girls to laugh as well.

Little Katherine watched on in confusion, still not understanding what her sisters meant by 'monthly courses'.

____

Nora continued to walk through the Tower, trying her hardest not to lose hope as she continuously searched for her sons.

She suddenly froze as she checked the last room, finding her sons to be nowhere in sight. She began to cry, no longer be able to control herself.

Her body began to tremble as she grieved, placing a hand over her aching heart. She pressed her back against the stone wall before sliding down until she was sitting on the ground.

She began to sob, unable to control her tears. "My boys," She whispered softly, her heartbreaking at the thought of what they must have suffered at the hands of her enemies, "My poor boys. What have I done? This is all my fault."

___

At Westminster Palace, Grace walked through the hallways of the castle, clutching onto the wall for support as she found herself feeling dizzy. She gasped for breath, beginning to have difficulty breathing.

She continued to stagger through the hallway, hoping to find someone that could help her.

"Help," She croaked out, but it wasn't loud for anyone to hear, "Help," She tried again, but she was far too weak to speak any louder.

She made it to the staircase and as she went to take her first step, she lost balance. She ended up dropping the cup of herbal tea she held before stumbling down the stairs, unable to stop herself. She let out a loud scream, which gained the attention of others.

______

Lizbeth had been with Katherine when she heard the scream. She immediately grabbed her sister's hand before running out of the room. She ran down the stairs, only to have a loud, heartbroken gasp escape her lips at the sight of her sister.

"No!" She ran forward, seeing Anne Neville kneeling on the group beside her niece alongside some servants.

Lizbeth wasted no time kneeling beside her sister's body. She grabbed the sides of her face, lifting her up before placing her dying sister's head in her lap.

"Shh. It's alright, little sister. It's alright. You will be fine," She assured her in a soft tone, trying not to cry as she turned to some physicians, "Someone, get a physician. Now! I command you to get a physician!"

The servants ran out and Lizbeth looked down at Grace, who was unable to speak as she continued to gasp for breath. Little Katherine knelt beside her, crying uncontrollably.

"Liz--" Grace began to say, only to be cut off as blood began to pour from her eyes, nose, and ears, "Li-"

Lizbeth cried out, continuing to tightly grasp her younger sister in her arms as she laid dying.

Just then, Grace's eyes stilled and Lizbeth gasped, beginning to sob loudly as she thought back to the drink she had given to Grace.

It was meant for her.

"No," Lizbeth gasped, frantically shaking her head, "No, no. This is all my fault. Grace, please."

Lizbeth continued to speak the words under her breath as she tightly held her younger sister to her chest. The poison was meant for her.

_____

Nora remained on the floor, staring blankly at the tiles as she grieved for her boys. "Mother," A voice called out, but still, Nora didn't turn.

"What?" Nora spoke up softly, tears welled in her eyes as she spoke in a hopeless tone, "What could possibly be worse than the fact that your brothers are gone and could be dead?"

"Mother, something's happened to Grace," He said again and Nora instantly whipped her head to the side to see Arthur standing before her. He was crying, blood staining his hands with tears streaming down his cheeks.

"No," Nora spoke softly, shaking her head as she began to sob loudly, "No. Not Grace, too. Please, no."

Arthur cried as he rushed over to his mother, holding her in his arms as she sobbed uncontrollably.

Three children.

Nora had experienced the loss of three of her children in the span of mere hours.

She wondered to herself, what horrific sins had she committed to be punished by God in such a way?

Were they punishing her for committing adultery with Edward? Were they punishing her for betraying her mother and the rest of House Lancaster? Were they punishing her for what she did with Jasper Tudor?

She thought she knew the answer, though. He was punishing her for her worst sin of all.

Murdering her own uncle, her king. She had manipulated an old man who happened to be her last living family and made him her puppet. She ruled through him for months, manipulating him so much that he would say anything she told him to. And in the end, she continued to trick him into trusting her and loving her like family, even as she poured the poison down his throat and held him down as he died. She had done that to her own family. Her father's brother. Her former king.

Perhaps that was what she was being punished for. She knew she deserved punishment for that but did He have to take her boys and her little girl? They were innocent and now, they were gone.

She was supposed to protect them and she failed. She'd never forgive herself for that. It was her own fault. Her children were gone and it was her own fault.

_____

It was noontime and Nora stood in Grace's room. The image of her daughter's dead body refused to leave her mind, which pained her most of all.

Nora continued to stare blankly out the window as Richard entered, a solemn look on his face.

"She won't be buried in London as most royals are," Nora spoke up in a whisper, trying not to break down, "I plan to have her body sent to Bedford castle, to be buried in the field behind it. Flowers will be planted all around her and a garden will be created in her memory," She paused, smiling sadly, "She always spent her time in gardens, picking flowers and placing them in her hair. I try to continue thinking of memories like that, happy moments, not of the fact that she had to suffer the way she did when she died."

"She's not suffering," Richard argued calmly, moving closer to Nora, "Not anymore. She's gone, Nora. No one can hurt her anymore."

"She was good," Nora managed to get out, beginning to cry once more, "She was nothing like her other sisters. She was purely good. From the moment she was born, she was good. Always so well-behaved. Edward used to call her his little angel. He adored her. As did I. There was no meanness or defiance to her as there is to Lizbeth. No coldness or jealousy as there is to Katherine. She was nothing like either of her sisters."

"I know," Richard whispered softly, letting out a small sigh as he refused to tell her what he had learned while she was grieving.

The poison was meant for Lizbeth.

"I'm beginning to think I am cursed, Richard," Nora confessed, turning to face him fully, tears streaming down her cheeks as her bottom lip quivered, "I do not believe this is God's will anymore. I think I am cursed."

"By whom?" Richard asked worriedly, "Elizabeth?"

"I don't know," She confessed and shook her head, "Losing three children in the span of just a few hours. That can't be God's will. I fear I will lose the rest of my children as well and I don't believe I can endure it."

Nora remained silent for a long moment before a heartbroken cry escaped her parted lips. "What if it is God punishing me, Richard? Punishing me for killing my Uncle Henry," She found herself confessing, "It's only been a year and I've lost Edward, my two youngest boys, and my Grace. Who's next? I can't bear losing anyone else."

"You won't," Richard argued in a stern tone, "You won't. I promise."

"We are at war, Richard. You can't promise that. We have no idea what may happen," Nora snapped back, but Richard was quick to argue again.

Richard placed his hands on the sides of her face, forcing her to look at him. "Look at me, Nora. Look at me!" He demanded and after a moment, she finally looked him in the eye, trying not to break down, "We will survive this. We will defeat Henry Tudor and his army and your son shall create a legacy for our family that will be remembered forever."

Nora remained silent, holding back her tears. She slowly nodded, but immediately began to cry as Richard hugged her. He was trying his hardest to comfort her and make her feel better and Nora was thankful.

Despite Edward being gone, Richard still remained at her side. He was there for her no matter what. He was, indeed, the brother she never got to have. And she loved him for it.

Richard knew he needed her to be at his side in the future. They needed each other if they wanted to win the war.

The brothers of Yorks had defeated any threat that came their way for twenty years during Edward's reign, all thanks to Nora and her sacrifices. The two eldest brothers of York were gone, but the youngest remained. Richard.

He knew as the last brother of York, he needed to work with Nora, God's anointed, if they wanted to survive yet another war that plagued their lives.

The door opened and Thomas entered. He immediately frowned when he saw his mother and his uncle Richard hugging each other.

However, the moment Richard locked eyes on Thomas and noticed the weird look his nephew was giving him, he immediately pulled away from the boy's mother.

"Your Grace," Richard politely bowed to Nora before turning to Thomas, "Prince Thomas."

With that, Richard left the room, leaving Nora alone with Thomas. Thomas watched his uncle leave and the moment the man was gone, Thomas closed the door.

He walked toward his mother, stopping when he was standing in front of her. "I heard a rumor about Uncle Richard," He informed his mother, who gave him a questioning look, "And you."

Nora rolled her eyes, annoyed that even her children were hearing about the disgusting rumors about her and Richard that weren't even true. "Our enemies will say anything to weaken Arthur's claim to the throne."

"It's not a claim. The throne is Arthur's by right. Nothing can change that," he practically snapped at his mother but Nora didn't care. Not yet, at least. She knew how Lizbeth and Thomas got when someone tried to speak about their elder brother in such a way.

"Of course it is," Nora immediately responded, letting out a scoff, "No one believes this foul gossip anyway—"

"Someone believes it," Thomas cut his mother off and Nora's face fell, noticing the way his tone had become cold and accusing, "They've said for years that Father had other children. Besides the ones he had with you and the ones he had with Elizabeth."

"What..." Nora began to ask, frowning in confusion, "What are you asking, Thomas?"

"I'm asking if when he grew tired of you and fucked other women, did you run to Uncle Richard like you did with Jasper Tud—" He began to tell his mother, but before he could finish his sentence, Nora had slapped him across the face without thinking.

A gasp escaped his parted lips as he slowly lifted his head to look his mother in the eye. Nora stared back at him, just as shocked as he was, if not more.

She couldn't believe what she had just done. She had hit her son. Just like her mother had done to her whenever she spoke to her in such a way. She always wanted to be a better mother than her own mother was, but what she had just done at that moment proved her to be no different. And that broke her heart.

Despite feeling guilty and regretful after what she had done, Nora's expression appeared to be cold.

"How dare you!" She growled at her son and despite being upset that his mother had struck him, Thomas found himself looking down at the ground in shame, "I loved your father more than you could ever know. Yes, you're right. He probably does have children all across England and France, but all my children are fathered by Edward, no one else," She paused, taking a threatening step toward her son, "Don't you ever accuse me of laying with your Uncle Richard because I would never do such a thing to dishonor your father, even if he is dead. Do you understand?"

Thomas nodded, but couldn't bring himself to look his mother in the eye after what she said to him. Nora was satisfied with that. He knew what he had done wrong, especially at a time like that.

"You were always difficult growing up, Thomas, but I've always loved you no matter what," Nora whispered to him softly, tears threatening to spill from her eyes, "Why? Why would you say something like that? And how do you even know about what happened between Jasper and I? You weren't even born yet."

"So it's true," Thomas scoffed loudly, raising his head to give his mother an angry look, "You are a woman, Mother. A woman who bears more power than almost all the men in England. Men don't like that. They don't like when women have that much power. They will do anything to rip that power away from you. They accuse my siblings of being Uncle Richard's, but do you know what they accuse me of?" He asked in a whisper, trying to contain his rage, "They accuse me of being Jasper Tudor's because they knew you bedded him in the months before I was conceived. Unlike them, they have reports that claim that I am not Father's son."

Nora remained still, shocked by the revelation. It wasn't true. Thomas was Edward's son, but Thomas had a point. She had lain with Jasper Tudor just weeks before conceiving Thomas with Edward. After all, it didn't take long after Nora returned to court after Edward's marriage to Elizabeth for them to find themselves back in each other's bed.

"You are the son of King Edward IV, Thomas. Don't let anyone tell you differently," Nora argued in a calm tone, walking forward to cup his face in her hands.

She teared up at the red mark on his face, feeling bad about what she had done. "I'm sorry, Thomas. I'm so sorry for everything. All is going wrong for our family has me to blame. And I can never take it back."

Nora began to cry and Thomas held her close. Tears welled in his own eyes, but he couldn't. He couldn't let himself.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Thomas SNAPPED...I feel so bad for her tho.

She thinks everything that is happening is her fault.

Do you think it is?