a/n: VERY recommended song- how i feel by XINCLAIR on youtube 

Richie walked down the street in the rain, touching the bandage on his face from time to time wishing that Eddie's hand was there. He heard Eddie's front door open and looked behind him to see Eddie standing there in tears. Eddie's eyes beckoned him to come back, but what was the point? He turned back around and kept walking forward, his arms hugging his stomach. He made it to his house and instead of going inside, he slumped down onto the steps of his porch. He sat there with his face in his hands crying until the weight of his wet clothes weighed him down too much. He tried not to make too much noise while he started a warm shower for himself.

"Richie?" a voice asked when he was getting a towel from the hall closet. He turned around and saw his dad. "Why are you all wet?"

Richie couldn't help but cry from seeing his dad after weeks of not getting a single call from him, to breaking up with Eddie the day he asked him out.

"And why are you crying?" Wentworth, Richie's dad, said.

"Fuck you." Richie stormed away and into the bathroom where he stripped off all his clothes and cried until the water became cold.

He turned off the water and slipped into a towel. He pressed both hands on the counter top in front of the mirror. He looked at himself in the mirror, steam fogging it up. What does Eddie even see in me? He thought and was surprised by how frustrated he was. He's so fucking adorable and look at me. I'm super scrawny, ugly, and gross. And I'm a trashmouth. He slipped his boxers and sweatpants on, then threw his shirt over his shoulder and dried off his hair with his towel. He opened the bathroom door and hurried inside his room, not wanting to come into contact with his father.

He put his shirt on and sat on the edge of his bed. The exact spot where he confessed to Eddie that Friday night. Thoughts of Eddie filled his mind while his eyes filled with tears.

A light ping sounded on his window frame. He slowly got up and walked over to see Eddie outside perched on the terrace.

"What the fuck are you doing here, Eddie." Richie rubbed his eyes angrily, even though he had no reason to be frustrated at Eddie.

Eddie climbed into Richie's room and looked up at the tall boy standing over him. "I told you, Richie. You could never scare me away."

Instead of being happy, Richie just fell on his knees and cried. He cried so hard he wanted to throw up. Eddie just stood there.

"I'm sorry, Eddie. I keep fucking up. I cursed at my dad because he came home. And I looked in the mirror and hated what I saw. And I ran away from you because I was scared."

"Fuck you, Richie Tozier." Eddie said without emotion as he took a step forward and pushed Richie's head towards his stomach, cradling him in a hug. Richie hugged him tight around his back, crying harder than he's ever cried before. Eddie helped him stand up and get into bed, stroking his head as he sniffed softly.

"Do you wanna talk about anything?" Eddie asked gently which only made Richie cry harder.

"Just keep talking please." Richie said sniffing and letting out small sobs between each word. So Eddie did that, he whispered to him telling him that "it's gonna be okay" and that "he's here". When Richie stopped crying and calmed down, Eddie tucked him snugly into bed, as a mother would to her child. Richie was half-asleep, trying to stay awake.

"It's gonna be okay, Trashmouth." Eddie said as he kissed Richie on the forehead and headed back out the window back to his home.

Richie smiled to himself, despite knowing that his happiness wasn't going to last very long.