Well, at least I can scratch "meet Mingi" off my bucket list.

- Jeong Yunho, conversation with Kang Yeosang

♫♪.ılılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılılı.♫♪

Breathe in. Breathe out. Come on. You can do it. It's not like he'll bite your head, right? It's just Mingi who you're going to talk to.

Yunho shuddered.

Yeah, just Mingi.

Breathing in, Yunho stared at his reflection once more, lightly tapping his reddened cheeks to hold himself together. Like his friends, or more like the devils on his shoulder, had said, he wouldn't make any progress if he stayed cooped up in the bathroom, and Mingi had even directly messaged him to quicken his departure. The thought of his idol questioning if he had diarrhea deepened the blush coating his already scarlet cheeks. So embarrassing.

It's now or never, Yunho told himself. He had two choices: face the conversation now and most likely not regret it in the future, or mutter a poor excuse and postpone their meeting until who-knows when, which opens the possibility of that when becoming a never. And though he was a coward, his wish to meet Mingi surpassed it. It was indeed now or never, and God he wished they'd been under less stressful circumstances. He could hear his friends' hushed snickers all the way from the waiting room.

He steadily walked to the bathroom's door, grabbed the door handle, and tightened the grip. Deep breath in, deep breath out. And before he could house himself in the protection provided by the bathroom, he opened the door. He had prepared himself to respond to all possible questions. He had prepared himself to not melt at the fact his Myun was Song Mingi. He had prepared himself to face their friends' slander once they formed peace. But nothing, absolutely nothing, could have prepared him to handle that smile, the same one that softly adorned the rapper's lips.

For when he saw that smile, all nervousness dispersed, and all he felt was a sense of peace nobody else could've caused.

"You're finally out?" Mingi chuckled, and Yunho almost passed out right then and there from how heavenly his voice was. His voice. The tone sounded deeper than he could've ever imagined. Sure, they'd met before, but this time was different.

Yunho sheepishly grinned, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "I had some business to attend to." He hoped the sound of his heart beating at a speed of 1000 kilometers per hour didn't reach the rapper's ears.

"Nothing too serious, I hope," Mingi replied, eyes bright and shimmering from, what Yunho guessed, the sunlight's reflection. He had never been so wrong. "I got worried for a second there."

"It's nothing bad. Don't worry about it." While Mingi comfortably stared at the taller, Yunho refused to meet the other's eyes.

Mingi noticed, and his soft smile widened in amusement. "You know, you're different from Yun."

Furrowing his brows, Yunho uncrossed his arms and relaxed his posture, though his confusion didn't waver.

"Different? How so?"

"Yun would've punched me already."

Yunho suppressed the cackle threatening to escape. Mingi wasn't wrong. And he wasn't surprised.

"Why would I punch you?" Yunho fired back. "You're already hurt."

"Yun would've punched me because I got hurt."

To avoid looking like a fish out of water, Yunho kept his mouth shut, forcing his mind to conjure a clapback worthy enough to go against Mingi himself. In the end, he came up with nothing. And Mingi staring at him with the purest expression on his face was not helping. At all. Also, the reason behind Mingi's stay at the hospital was far from pleasant, and Yunhodidnt wnto remind the rapper of the traumatizing experience. But judging from the slight grimness overtaking the joy, Yunho guessed the reminiscing had started.

Not on his watch, though.

"Yun would've punched Myun," Yunho corrected, massaging his temple. "But you're Mingi. The Song Mingi. There's no way I'm risking my freedom over a punch."

A small grin dawned on Yunho's lips at the sight of Mingi's happiness returning. Good, Yunho thought. He's okay.

"And you're the Jeong Yunho. Your point is invalid," Mingi replied, amused.

After that, silence followed. The two idols, superstars of superstars, forgot how to act. The dancer forgot how to move, and the rapper forgot how to speak. At the moment, it was them. Just them. No friends interrupted their staring, no noise disturbed their raging thoughts, and no awkwardness plummeted their cheerfulness. It was all Yunho had dreamed of.

However, when the silence lasted for a few seconds longer than anticipated, Yunho's cheeks burned, and the dancer mentally cursed at the unfortunate timing. By the looks of it, Mingi hadn't paid any mind, which Yunho appreciated, but at this point, Yunho didn't know if it was because of pure obliviousness or of lack of consciousness. Whatever the reason was, Yunho thanked it, for he took advantage of the situation to finally realize that holy shit he was actually talking to Mingi. It wasn't a fairy tale anymore, nor was it the constant daydream that plagued his thoughts. It was reality, and Yunho had no idea of what to do next. Should he speak? What should he say? Did Mingi want him there?

At least the hospital room was nice. The view from the room's window surpassed Yunho's low expectations, if he were honest, and the decoration diminished the hospital feel. He'd visited for the past three days, but it's the first time he'd actually noticed the small details hiding all around: the carving, the blueprint, even the sheets seemed soft—

"Yunho," Mingi called out in a tone so soft that, if it had been any nosier, Yunho wouldn't have heard the whisper, "come here."

Mingi patted the empty space at the lower end of the hospital end, wearing an inviting smile that almost melted Yunho on the spot. The dancer eyed the hand, then Mingi, then the hand again, until he gave in and slowly approached the spot, sitting down steadily and with his bottom centimeters away from falling.

They sat in silence for a few seconds, neither of two fully concentrating on the situation, and instead allowing their worries to consume their minds. And though Mingi appeared calm, Yunho felt a raging storm destroy his inner peace, and a pile of questions fell endlessly. What's next? Will he hate me? What's going to happen to us? Why is he expecting something from this? He shouldn't. He really shouldn't. But a sentiment of desire sparked his insides each time he thought of Mingi. Whether it was as a friend or something more, all Yunho concretely knew was that, now that Mingi was in his life, he wouldn't let go.

He should strike a conversation if he wanted to make that happen.

"This is weird," Mingi began, fumbling with his hands. "I can't believe you're here."

Yunho chuckled. "Well, believe it. I'm Yunho in the flesh."

"That," Mingi said, "and also the fact that you're Yun, someone who I've been talking to for months now."

"Now that you put it that way, it is weird."

The two shared a laugh, and afterwards, silence ensued.

"You know everything about how I feel about you," Mingi muttered, shyly turning his face to the side. "I think that's why I feel comfortable right now. Even though you're my idol and someone I've admired for years now, I feel like I know you. Is that weird?"

"It isn't." Yunho didn't lie. "I feel the same. I do feel a bit exposed, though..."

Yunho truly hoped his lovestruckness didn't show in his expression, or else he'd be done for.

"I just can't believe you're actually here. On my bed. You. Jeong Yunho. I've wanted to meet you for so long, and now that you're in front of me, it's an accomplishment."

"We've technically met before."

Mingi stared unamused. "That didn't count. Our meeting was cut short."

"Whatever you say," Yunho teased, meeting Mingi's eyes for a second and instantly looking down afterwards. He refused to let his cheeks ignite for the nth time and risk his idol catching him. At least, not when he's trying to act like he had no care in the world, when in reality it was the complete opposite.

The forgotten awkwardness plagued the dead air between the two, and Yunho wanted nothing more than to break it. However, no conversation starters popped up. He hesitated starting with his admiration towards the other, for he didn't want to make such a grand first impression, but as time passed, his excitement grew impatient. That, and also the fact Mingi's adorableness reached new heights every passing second. Yunho was leaving the hospital room a dead man from the amount of attacks his heart received.

Somebody help.

Fortunately, Mingi interrupted Yunho's mental battle just in time. With a nervous chuckle, Mingi gripped the bed's sheets and unglued his back from the backrest.

"So..."

"So..."

Mingi sheepishly chuckled, scratching the back of his head. "I don't even know where to begin."

"Trust me, me neither," Yunho breathed, placing his hands behind his back to lean. He relaxed his strict posture and swung his feet playfully. There's no point in being tense, right? Or at least, that's what Yunho thought. He might as well enjoy the moment while it lasts.

"Is that why you were hiding in the bathroom?"

Or maybe not.

Yunho froze and turned to Mingi, the latter wearing a mischievous expression that exposed his true intentions: make Yunho flustered. To the dancer's fantastic luck, he succeeded. "I have an explanation for that."

"Is that why you ignored me for three days straight?" Mingi hummed, raising a brow.

"I also have an explanation for that."

"Is that why—"

"Ok, I get it!" Yunho exclaimed. "I was an ass. I'm sorry."

Though the mischievousness lowered, Mingi's grin didn't falter. However, Yunho thought he had seen the slightest sign of admiration shimmering in the rapper's eyes as he slowly rested his back on the bed's backrest, and Yunho's breath hitched in his throat. He was a dead man indeed.

"Took you long enough," Mingi breathed, and the admiration Yunho had caught seemingly grew in brightness. "Do you know how excited I was when I found out you were Yunho all this time? I couldn't believe it. I really couldn't. My idol, someone I've followed for ages, being Yun. My friends had to knock some sense into me to finally act."

Yunho chuckled at the coincidence. All of his past thoughts regarding Mingi's possible —and he repeats, possible— deductions of the situation passed through his mind, and once again, he realized how much of an idiot he was. "I couldn't believe it either." He met Mingi's gaze, seeing the surprise swirling inside, and the guilt that gradually accumulated itself hit Yunho's consciousness at full force. He no longer felt worthy of losing himself in the maze of his idol's eyes. With that, he looked down at his entangled hands and sighed, "And I'm sorry for ignoring you. I guess... you being Myun shook me more than I thought. All that came to mind is all the times that I told you how in love with Mingi I was and— great, I'm embarrassed."

Well, shit, Yunho thought, blushing while devotedly ignoring Mingi's gaze burning holes at the side of his cheek. He unconsciously exposed more than he had hoped for. And judging from Mingi's sly grin, some kind of witty remark was bound to ensue. Yunho had guessed right.

"Are you still in love with me?"

Yunho choked on air and immediately looked at Mingi, who had no regret staining his face. "You wish."

"There's the Yun I know!" Mingi clapped, the sun's rays clashing with the whiteness of his teeth. "Guess you two aren't that different after all."

The dance huffed. "Talking to someone online and in person are—"

"Two different things. I know, I know."

The two chuckled at their agreement, and once again, the conversation ended, leaving the two to wander in silence.

Yunho internally cheered. So far, everything has been going well. The awkwardness from earlier had dispersed, and he thanked his guardian angel for keeping his raw excitement in check, or else he was pretty sure he would've scared Mingi by now, with his Mingki outbursts and all. Maybe now's a good time to ask for an autograph. But one look at the rapper's casted leg was all it took to quickly discard the idea. Maybe next time.

As he stared outside the window —the view was outstanding— a simple thought began to drill itself into his head. It was crystal clear that Mingi knew he was Yun. And it was crystal clear that Yunho knew Mingi was Myun. There's no denying that fact. But... When exactly did Mingi find out? Yunho's known for a short time, all thanks to Yeosang and a whole lot of his friends' nagging. But for Mingi, did he find out on his own? Or did he have help? Wait, did his friends read their conversations? He quickly discarded the idea.

Clearing his throat, Yunho turned to Mingi, who had been staring out the window. "When did you find out I was... you know."

At the question, Mingi simply disconnected his gaze from the view to meet Yunho's curious features, then returned to stare out the window. "That you were Yunho? When you came to me screaming about how you met Mingi. After that, I basically connected the dots."

Oh, fuck, Yunho cursed. He groaned and hunched his posture, hiding his embarrassment by covering his face with his hands, flinching once the memory came at full force. In his defense, he hadn't known Mingi was Myun. He had been extremely excited after meeting his idol that he had immediately gone to his phone to send his online friend a message. And, now that he remembered the words he had said, he groaned once more. He had said so many things that revealed his feelings for the other.

"I couldn't have been more obvious," he complained.

Pat, pat. "Don't criticize yourself too much," Mingi giggled. "You didn't know Myun was me."

Though Yunho's heart raced unhealthily fast because of Mingi's comfort attempt, he still hid his face. This time, however, it was to hide his inner fanboy. What is happening.

"That sounds weird," Yunho said, muffled.

"Agreed," Mingi replied, and after a few seconds of silence —Yunho finally got the guts to remove his hands from his face— he returned the question. "So... when did you find out about me?"

Yunho softly grinned at the memory. "When you sent me the selca. It was honestly Yeosang who opened my eyes."

"Wait, you didn't recognize me?" the rapper exclaimed disbelievingly, eyes wide. "I made it so obvious!"

At the exclamation, Yunho pouted. He didn't need another reminder of his obliviousness. "You're making me feel stupid."

"That's because you are stupid." Yunho sweatdropped at Mingi's bluntness. "I'm thinking of confiscating your Mingki identity."

"HEY."

"I'm kidding," Mingi chuckled, waving to dismiss the tease. He then shuddered, glancing at the sheets to further dramatize his response. "I wouldn't dare touch your collection because I damn well know how shitty it would feel to have it taken from you."

"Glad we agree on something."

"We've technically already agreed on—"

"Shut up."

Mingi mischievously grinned, removing his back from the hospital bed to get closer to Yunho's location on his bed. "Nah, don't feel like it."

"I'm..." Yunho gulped at their short distance, struggling to maintain his composure. "I'm genuinely thinking of smacking your face or holding the urge to do so."

Mingi shrugged and didn't move. "Do what's morally correct."

"You mean smacking you?" Yunho innocently inquired, challenging Mingi with a deep fire burning in his eyes. Again, what the heck was happening. It was random, but Yunho thanked his past self for brushing his teeth before coming.

Mingi's expression hardened. "No." After that, he moved back, and Yunho suddenly remembered how to breathe. A second longer, and his respiratory system would've stopped functioning. One more embarrassment, and his cheeks would've been permanently stained red.

He couldn't lie, however. Even though his feelings skyrocketed and passed limits not even himself was aware of, the peace that settled between the two idols was nothing he had ever experienced. If he had to describe it, he'd compare it to the feeling of satisfaction when completing a puzzle, the exact moment in which you connect the final piece to the rest. It felt right, being there with Mingi, as if he'd been waiting for this moment for a while. Not his entire life of course —his career topped his priorities list.

Still, the bliss that filled his veins couldn't compare to anything. Not even to when his career first blew up. This was something completely different. He had been actually conversing with his idol for the past few minutes without losing his shit, a feat he found incredible. But... Why? Why was he so comfortable? Shouldn't he be freaking out? Why was he so peaceful? Why, why, why?

"You know, now that I'm talking to you, I realize I didn't have anything to be scared of."

He needed answers.

"Why were you scared?"

The genuine curiosity dripping from Mingi's velvet voice made Yunho coo. "It's just..." Yunho started, gathering his thoughts while playing with his hands. This time, he's the one who initiated the staring. It made his explanation more surreal, more concrete. "I guess I didn't want my relationship with Myun to die. Talking to Myun became the highlight of my day and my escape from reality, and the thought of losing him because of who I really am scared me. That... and also because of something else."

"If you don't mind me asking," Mingi began, a tone so caring Yunho questioned his insane luck, "what's the something else?"

"My shitty ex."

Silence.

"Noted," Mingi replied. "But I do understand you. Talking to Yun became the highlight of my day. I didn't want to lose you, too."

Yunho raised his brow. "Did you just confess to me?"

"Take this seriously!" This time, it was Mingi's turn to whine.

"I am!"

"Anyway," Mingi started, and judging from his flushed face, which Yunho found insanely adorable, he did so to stir the conversation. And Yunho didn't mind it. Take that, Mingi. Now it's his idol's turn to suffer, because he very well knew Mingi returned his admiration. How the heck the rapper managed to seem so calm, Yunho didn't know, but he appreciated it. It made Yunho feel more comfortable. "I know it's not your birthday yet, but I hope meeting me was the best birthday present ever."

At that, Yunho scrunched his brows in surprised confusion. "You remember that?"

"I have perfect memory."

Yunho sweatdropped. Right. Mingi's public and private persona didn't differ in the slightest. He's still the confident Mingi he admired.

"Well then, what did Jongho get Yeosang for his birthday?" Yunho fired back. He laughed at the rapper's lack of response. So much for being witty, Yunho mused. "Admit it. You don't remember."

"Don't slander your idol," Mingi grumbled, crossing his arms and turning his head with a huff.

"Then don't attack your idol."

Mingi hesitantly uncrossed his arms. "Touché."

Yunho grinned at the rapper's reference to one of their past conversations. It really is him. His Myun, sitting there on the hospital bed, though him being there was due to unfortunate circumstances that made Yunho's blood boil hotly.

Myun...

"So... what's next?"

Shit. He didn't mean to say it out loud.

Hesitantly, Yunho looked at Mingi, who stared back confused. His head tilted, his natural pout, his wrinkled eyes; Yunho's a lost cause.

"What do you mean?" Mingi questioned.

"I mean, now that we met and talked, what's next?" As if someone clicked the play button, Yunho's worries rolled off his tongue with no stop. "You're Mingi, I'm Yunho. We have our lives and our jobs pretty much drain us out. We'll barely have time to see each other, and what if the press finds out? So many rumors will start, and I—"

"Do we have to plan it out?"

"Huh?"

Mingi looked absolutely ethereal as he gazed out the window. A new aura surrounded him, one that completely diminished the past playfulness, and Yunho couldn't keep his eyes away from the view. "What's the point of life if you plan it? Life's beauty is its spontaneous nature. Don't focus on the what-ifs and instead focus on the present. Isn't life more beautiful that way?"

"You're very poetic," Yunho pointed out. He stood up from the bed to catch some air —though Mingi didn't have to know that— and plopped himself on the seemingly comfortable couch, that, in all honesty, wasn't that comfortable.

"Well, I am a lyricist." Mingi's eyes didn't leave Yunho's movements. "And to answer your question, we can take things slow. Fans don't need to know. And if the press finds out, let them find out. It's not like we're a couple or anything."

Yunho's heart skipped a beat. "Right..." A couple.

"Unless you want us to be?"

"Mingi, what the fuck."

"I'm kidding!" Mingi exclaimed, laughing carelessly. The teasing nature fell thin at the sudden change of his eyes, suggestive and overall mischievous. "Unless..."

"Shut your mouth before more bullshit comes spilling out from it." Before you make my heart stop working. Not like Yunho'd ever admit it.

Mingi pouted. "Don't be so mean to your idol."

"Why do I like you?" Yunho sighed hopelessly, dramatically resting his back on the couch and closing his eyes.

"Because I'm—"

"Don't finish that sentence." Yunho didn't need to open his lids to know Mingi had followed his request. He sighed, not believing that he was even contemplating asking the question that tickled his tongue, but before he thought about it further, he shot his shot. "So... friends?"

"Yeah, friends. I prefer boyfriends, though."

Yunho's heart skipped another beat, and if the rapper continued, Yunho would have to look for a replacement. This man was more daring than he thought, and Mingi looked like he genuinely enjoyed teasing the older. "Mingi..."

"I do not regret it in the slightest." Mingi raised his hands in feigned guilt.

"When did you become so bold?" Yunho sighed, a question that dawned on him from the amount of witty comments the younger had come up with. And when had he himself managed to control his fanboy attacks?

At his question, Mingi moved. At first it was a slight wiggle of his leg, as if testing the pain, before he full on removed his legs from the bed, and when he did so, Yunho immediately stood up from his spot on the couch, staring wildly at the other for his rash movement.

"Are you crazy?" Yunho whisper-shouted, approaching Mingi quickly to hold him down from the shoulders. "You're not fully healed yet!"

He had been so worried for the other that he failed to catch the tender glimmer in Mingi's eyes, the delicate smile adorning Mingi's lips, the pure adoration radiating from him. In the midst of his freaking-out session, he failed to notice that, in the chaos, Mingi shone. And all because of Yunho.

"I wanted to be bold," Mingi whispered, and Yunho stilled. It was then when he became conscious of their position, but he didn't move. What he did do, however, was remove his hands from the rapper's shoulders. "When I found out my internet best friend was my idol. How can I not be bold? It's a once in a lifetime opportunity, one that I'm willing to take no matter the consequences."

It's confirmed. Yunho's whipped. And he had absolutely no idea of what to do next.

"... that was so Disney material."

"Shut the fuck up. I'm being poetic here."

—————

it is finally here and it took me much more time than i realized holy crap

finally yungi!!!!!! also ateez got first again! i'm streaming their stage and it's so good.

also 8k reads.... what the heck

ATEEZ ARE RELEASING A SINGLE IN MAY AHDKEJFJF