There's a thin line between the love you feel for an idol and the love you feel for a person. But right now, I'm deeply questioning its existence.

- Song Mingi, conversation with Choi San

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Mingi wasn't calm. At all. Not in the slightest.

The moment Yunho left the room —San had been kind enough to provide the reason why— the rapper immediately relaxed, unclenching his tensed muscles to rest on the hospital bed completely, and he exhaled a long, deep, exhausted breath that cooled him down. The conversation had drained him more than expected, for it took his entire will and energy to maintain a careless image in front of his idol. It's a miracle he abstained from squealing, yelping, or exposing any sign of systematic overheating of his brain. Because though Yunho asked him about his boldness, the answer he had provided was bullshit. He had told the truth, but the real reason behind his daring approaches was because if he didn't do it, he's sure Yunho wouldn't have either. Their game would've continued, and Mingi would be lying if he said he'd like to keep playing.

Mingi's greedy, selfish, and egoistic. He had wanted, wanted, wants, and will want Yunho until he had him in his arms, all to himself. He didn't care about the public's reaction, he didn't care about the press, he didn't care about the company; all he cared about was his own happiness, and apparently, his only shot at love.

Mingi shivered. Love. Is this how it felt like? He has never fallen in love, nor does he have the slightest idea of what it felt like. Hongjoong described the emotion as "your soul intertwining with another", whatever that meant. And when he asked Seonghwa —a traumatizing experience— all he got was that love is a "unique feeling that twists your insides intensely until you do everything in your power to make the other person happy". Mingi had to get over his shock of his hyung's compliance before attempting to comprehend his words.

But... love. He knew he loved Yunho. He's a Yunhopower. Of course he loves him. Yunho's been there for him in intangible ways, ways his friends couldn't. Yunho made him happy, Yunho inspired him, Yunho helped him, and Yunho... Yunho confused him. Damn it. Nobody warned him about love's complications. Nobody bothered to tell him the confusion he'd face once he faced the emotion head-on. Did he love Yunho? His friends say yes. But did he love love Yunho? That's where he's unsure. Because he loved him as an idol, but as a person?

Of course I do, Mingi thought.

Biting his lip, Mingi reminisced. Yunho likes puppies. Yunho loves dancing. Yunho's smile lightens up a room the moment he enters. Yunho's voice is candy. Yunho's donated to countless organizations and orphanages. Yunho uses his platform to promote social issues. Yunho never backs down from a challenge. Yunho's competitive nature and undying efforts earned him the fame he has today. Yunho adores his friends and puts them before anything else. And Yunho... he's fallen in love, and though his heart got broken by his past significant other, he still smiled afterwards. Though his dreams have been challenged more frequently than not, he still persevered. Though he received hate, he still shone. And if that isn't strength, Mingi didn't know what was.

Mingi was sure perfection didn't exist, but whenever he thought of Yunho, perfection didn't seem impossible. And the more he thought, the more his heart soared. If the heart monitor would've been connected, it would've been beeping so much that the nurses would've come running in to check the stability, only to find him lying in a puddle of his own feelings, wearing a bright red coat on his cheeks.

Oh god. Oh god no.

"This is what love is, isn't it," Mingi whispered, astounded. He chuckled disbelievingly, his unfocused eyes glued on the wall in front of him. The words coming out of his mouth were more statements than questions. "I'm fucking doomed, aren't I."

He had lied to San so badly, and now that he thought back on their previous conversation, he cringed. No wonder the older teased him a lot; he already had it coming from miles away.

He loved Yunho. He wanted to get closer to Yunho. He wanted to know the intricate maze that is Yunho. And, out of everything, he wanted to let Yunho know he's the most wonderful person blessing the Earth, from a lover's perspective and not a fan's. Call him selfish, but Mingi's waited for a long time to finally get a taste of the blissful feeling, and now that he had it resting on his tongue, he wouldn't let go. Besides, not only was this Yunho, but also Yun, his online best friend that lightened his days on a daily basis. Who would've known having a fan account would lead to this? He definitely didn't, but he wasn't complaining. Thanks, stan Twitter. Because now, after his entire lifetime, he knew what love felt like, and though he's been warned of its dangers, he didn't care. He'd go through every single one of them if it meant calling Yunho his.

"Woah," Mingi voiced, surprised at his own thoughts, "calm the fuck down." The nurses would definitely rush in if the heart monitor were connected.

Standing up from the bed, Mingi carefully walked towards the window while dragging the hanger where the solution bags hung from —he still cringed at the sight of the tube in his veins— just like Yunho had stood moments earlier, and absorbed the beautiful view, allowing it to distract him from his sudden realization. He hissed a couple of times from his injury's pain, but nothing he couldn't handle. The burning sensation had decreased greatly due to his medication, so he was free to move from time to time, with precautions, of course. He didn't want to worsen his wound and extend his stay. He longed to touch his producing equipment, though he wouldn't mind staying away from the studio.

No matter how much time had passed, a deep fear cursed through his veins whenever he thought of the scene. So going back to his studio was definitely out of the question.

"Ah, this is nice," Mingi breathed, closing his eyes. "A doughnut doesn't sound so bad right now—"

"Stop poking my ass, you pervert!"

"I didn't even touch it!"

"I wasn't talking to you, idiot! I was talking to Hongjoong!"

"I have a boyfriend with a fatter ass than yours. Why would I touch it?"

"He's right."

"Shut it, Seonghwa. I've been scarred enough."

Mingi opened his eyes and groaned. "All I ask for is one moment of peace. And normal friends. Is that too much to ask?"

Apparently not. Because in just a few seconds, the door to his room slammed open, and his friends' voices boomed louder than ever. He even heard the nurses' desperate hushing, but they were to no avail. And in one last attempt of holding on to peace, he kept facing the window, though its reflection was a dead giveaway of his friends' antics.

"Wow, is this what VIP treatment is like?" Wooyoung asked, looking around the moment he stepped in. At his voice, Mingi's heart raced —not like it did with Yunho. It was more in excitement, for he was finally facing some of the people he's been wanting to get along with ever since he bumped into them outside of his apartment. And though he hadn't seen Yeosang, Jongho's narrations were enough to spark a deep curiosity.

"You're literally friends with celebrities," Jongho deadpanned.

"Yeah, but Yunho only treats us to chicken from the local store."

"Does that mean you don't want free chicken anymore?" Yunho asked, and it took Mingi a whole lot of willpower for his knees to stay firm.

The only unfamiliar person in the room —Mingi guessed it was Yeosang— growled. "Wooyoung, say yes and I will castrate you myself and throw your ashes in the toilet."

Wow.

"That has got to be the most beautiful thing you've ever said to me."

They all shared a laugh, still unaware of Mingi's presence by the window. All laughed, except Hongjoong and Seonghwa, who stared at the group with so much exhaustion, so much that it was enough to show that the dysfunctional friend group was starting to stress them out.

"Do y'all not know the definition of normal?" Hongjoong asked exasperated.

"They do," San answered for them. "They just decide to ignore it."

"I'd like to point out that by 'they', San refers to Wooyoung," Yeosang said.

"Exposed."

"Shut it, San."

"You know you love me," San smirked, getting closer to Wooyoung. And as expected, a faint blush tainted the younger's cheeks.

"That is not fair," Wooyoung pouted, pushing his idol away to get some air.

Hongjoong shrugged. "That is life."

"Seonghwa, tell your boyfriend to stop getting existencial. We're in a hospital, for fucks sake," Jongho sighed.

Seonghwa shook his head, no hints of smiling on his face, though his eyes glimmered once they laid on Hongjoong's angry figure. "He's cute that way."

"Gross," Wooyoung gagged.

"I need bleach," Jongho said. "Yunho, do you have bleach?"

"I think I have some."

"Hold the bleach," San exclaimed. "Remember the reason why we're here. You'll need it for later."

Yunho furrowed his brows. "What do you mean?"

At his question, Seonghwa face-palmed. Wooyoung and Yeosang sighed, while Jongho fully plopped himself on the couch with a loud exhale. The others shared similar reactions, with San chucking a plastic spoon at Yunho's head and Hongjoong reacting similarly to Seonghwa. And Mingi? Mingi was enjoying the show way too much for his liking.

"Ow!" Yunho exclaimed. "What the fuck was that for?"

"For not having enough brain cells. That's what," Yeosang remarked, massaging his temple. "God, you're stupider than I thought."

"Hey."

"Guys, wait," San interrupted, and everyone turned to look at him curiously. "Where's Mingi?"

Silence. Nobody uttered a sound. Mingi abstained from laughing at how obvious their inner hamster-wheel went faster and faster, until Seonghwa looked around the room and spotted Mingi's tall figure staring at the window, an amused smile adorning his face as Mingi turned to look at his friends.

"You guys are dumber than I thought," Mingi teased.

In an instant, two sets of arms attacked him. On one side, he had San holding him as if there were no tomorrow, saying his name repeatedly and hugging him tightly as if he would never let go. On the other stood Seonghwa, who embraced him softly, though with so much emotion, Mingi had to blink countlessly to usher the tears away.

"Mingi," Seonghwa whispered, still hugging him, "I am so sorry."

Mingi grinned, tightening their embrace. "There's nothing to be sorry for, hyung. I'm glad you're here."

With a tight nod, Seonghwa broke the hug, leaving Mingi with an agitated San that desperately touched his torso, hands everywhere to ensure that Mingi was, in fact, awake and not dead. The others moved their gazes to other spots to give the two best friends some privacy, though one pair of eyes lingered longer than the others.

"You're awake," San breathed, temporarily pulling back to marvel Mingi in all his glory, then returning to the hug. "I knew you'd be okay."

Mingi laughed breathily. "You're acting as if I came back to life."

"You might as well have," San retorted, punching him playfully on the arm.

The two best friends pulled back, and that's when Mingi finally looked at every single person in the room. He already knew Seonghwa, San, and Hongjoong; the latter sent him a soft wave as a greeting. But Jongho, Wooyoung, and Yeosang were newcomers, yet he felt no sense of reservation. Instead he felt compelled to get closer to the trio, which must be because of Yunho's influence.

Yunho. At the thought of his name, Mingi turned to the dancer, who met his gaze with an excited twinkle in his features.

"You're not too surprised to see us," Hongjoong pointed out from besides Seonghwa, eyes narrowing accusingly.

Mingi and San shared a knowing look —San begged him not to tell— before the rapper turned to his hyung and responded, "San told me you were all here."

"Oh," Wooyoung said way too chirpily. "Did he now?"

Not even the dumbest person alive would have ignored the amount of glares pointed at San, but none were close to the intensity that San poised towards Mingi, who had voluntarily exposed his best friend to the others.

"Mingi, I love you, but get your ass on the bed right now if you don't want me to break your other leg."

Raising his hands in defeat, Mingi slowly limped towards the bed. Seonghwa instantly moved to his side to help him out, while the other visitors stared at the scene with bitten lips and slightly pitiful gazes that Mingi decided to brush aside. He didn't need their pity, he didn't need their sympathy; he needed their support and playful banter. At least they'd serve as distractions. Yunho, on the other hand, stared hotly at him and San, specifically at San's arm around his waist. Mingi smirked. Was he... jealous? He hoped so, or else the heartbreak would come sooner than later, and Mingi wished to bathe in love's scent for a while longer.

Once Mingi was safely tucked in bed, the visitors huddled and jumped at the same time. Yunho and Hongjoong decided to stay back and watch the chaos from outside —a smart choice from their part.

"How'd it feel like to be in a comma?" Wooyoung asked, standing close.

Mingi chuckled at the younger's obvious enthusiasm. Yunho hadn't lied to Yunhopowers. Wooyoung was a ball of radiating sunshine that never set. "It felt like sleeping. Because that's what it is."

"Idiot." Yeosang smacked the back of Wooyoung's head, earning a painful cry from the latter.

"Stop hitting me! I'm not your punching bag!" Wooyoung whined, rubbing the spot where his precious friend kindly hit him.

Seonghwa rolled his eyes. "Kids. That's what you all are."

"And you're a grandpa. You're not special— hey, that hurt!" San scowled, glaring at Seonghwa who wore an innocent expression though he had pinched San moments before. "I was telling the truth! You don't even know what 'boomer' is."

At that, Wooyoung gasped, and Mingi settled on watching the show by accommodating himself further on the hospital bed. As comfortable as one can get, anyway.

"I didn't know boomers actually existed," Jongho said, and this time, Seonghwa's pinch was aimed at him. "What did I do?"

"State facts, apparently."

"Shut it, San," Seonghwa growled, and San complied, too terrified of Seonghwa's power when genuinely angered. Luckily for the others, Seonghwa joined Hongjoong, and they could see his anger dissipate into thin air once his arms wrapped themselves around Hongjoong's figure.

This is adorably gross, Mingi thought. Would he and Yunho be like that? If they were a couple, Mingi would show his boyfriend to the world, make a public announcement that they're both taken. Maybe they'd do more collaborations. Mingi would have to convince the company to negotiate more deals with Yunho to make that happen. Or maybe they'd release a song together, because though the dancer denies it, he has a heavenly voice, and Mingi would love to feature him in a track. Maybe—

Mingi shook his head. Woah. He's getting way too ahead of himself. These scenarios won't do him any good, but there's nothing wrong with imagining, right?

"Hey, are you okay?"

Mingi flinched at the sudden voice. Turning around, he faced none other than Yunho, who looked at him worriedly —the others were busily arguing with each other— and Mingi wanted nothing more than to hold his hand. His suspicions only grew, about his feelings that is, and the "what-if" question planted itself in his mind with no intentions of leaving. But that didn't come from him.

Nodding, Mingi shifted in his bed, while Yunho stood close-by in case the rapper needed assistance. "I'm fine. No need to worry about me."

Yunho let out an indignant scoff. "As if I haven't been worrying about you for the last three days."

Oh. That was unexpected.

"Besides," Yunho continued, resting his hands on the bed's handles, "you look like something's worrying you. And by the looks of it, San can't help out right now."

At the mention of his best friend's name, Mingi eyed the situation unraveling in front of him. He released an amused chuckle at the sight of San struggling to keep Wooyoung and Seonghwa from stealing the ice cream, all the while keeping Jongho and Yeosang away from the other snacks. Mingi's expression softened at their craziness. However, he didn't mind Yunho being the one to comfort him, although his worries were caused by the dancer in the first place.

"Guess so." Mingi brought his gaze back to the idol. "But really, there's nothing wrong." It's you what's troubling me.

Yunho seemed unconvinced. "Are you sure? You know you can tell me everything, right? Don't forget I am and will always be Yun."

"I'll..." Mingi pondered, eyes pensive. He wouldn't tell him now, of course not. He needed time to actually process the fact he liked him, loved him even. Because though it's his first time experiencing love's effects, he knew, deep down, that he was not ready for confession. The nerves ate his insides at the thought of it. Though technically he's already confessed countless times, but those were different. "I'll tell you soon."

What a great answer.

"If it's a confession, you might as well get it over with," Yunho teased.

Well, shit.

"Don't joke about that," Mingi scowled.

The taller scoffed. "You were the one who started it!"

"I did not start that."

"You did."

"Your memory must be failing you."

"I think you're well aware of how impeccable my memory is."

"And I hate you for being right."

Yunho grinned, inching closer. "You love me."

"What if I do?" Mingi countered, and though he said it playfully, he hoped Yunho caught the honesty pouring out his lids. Because he wouldn't be doing this any time soon if he wanted to keep his heart in check. He's definitely a goner.

Yunho slowly backed away from Mingi, arms crossed and, by the looks of it, oblivious to the truth behind Mingi's joke. "Then get in line. There's a bunch of Yunhopowers I need to meet first."

Mingi's shoulders dropped. "I thought I was your favorite Yunhopower."

"Myun is my favorite." When did Yunho become so teasing?

"I am literally Myun."

"Myun is still my favorite."

"Are you two done being obvious?" San, who had somehow kept the others in check, interrupted the conversation, looking between the two taller men and sighing. Mingi swore he saw his best friend's last brain cell vanishing. "The ice cream's been served. Do you want a cup?"

"I'm offended you ask when you already know the answer."

"I'll get it for you," Yunho offered and walked away, leaving Mingi with an all-knowing San, who stared at the rapper very intrusively.

"Whatever you say, it's not what you think."

"Cut the bullshit. I saw you from the other side of the room," San said. "You two are so damn obvious. Just tell each other already!"

"I literally just confirmed my feelings 20 minutes ago," Mingi deadpanned.

"Ok so you're not dumb dumb. That's good to know."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I thought it would take you another 5 years."

Mingi punched his friend on the arm.

"I appreciate the support," the rapper said sarcastically, while San rubbed his arm on the same spot where Seonghwa had pinched him.

"That's what best friends are for," San responded, equally sarcastic. "So you're aware of your feelings now?"

Mingi nodded, his mind reminiscing his earlier mental battle. "I am."

"I'm happy for you, then," San grinned.

The younger eyed San suspiciously. "Are you? Are you really?"

"Oh, come on," San whined, returning the punch he'd received. "What kind of best friend would I be if I weren't happy?"

"The sane kind."

"Shut up. I know you love me."

"That's easily debatable."

From the other side of the room, in the heart of another chaos, Yunho stared. He ignored the loudness of his friends' voices and looked at the other's expressions as he talked, looked at his unique smile that dawned on his face, looked at his otherworldly features that composed his physique. He stared. Longingly, tenderly, and lovingly.

"They're so whipped for each other, it actually hurts," Yeosang whispered to Jongho.

The other simply smiled. "We're all whipped for someone, one way or another."

Yeosang furrowed his brow, snacking on one of the chips brought by San. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You're so clueless, hyung. It actually hurts."

"Hey, don't use my words on me."

—————

they all met!!!!!!