Rindou sure has never been this angry towards Ran. Maybe because it always been the opposite, it was always be Rindou who is the one that will be in a scared state or getting mad at, considering as how much calm and relax Ran seems to be, his anger issues sure was on a different level, especially when he just woken up from his slumber.

But it didn't matter at this moment, Rindou's fear towards him was depleting, just because of what Asuka had explained to him before, he sure can already tell who is the real perpetrator towards all of this monstrosity.

Of course, it was none other than his damn older brother.

After all that encounter between him and Asuka, and also her forcing herself to treat him sushi (only because she almost pepper sprayed him), he was already on his way back home with his motorbike on a different level of speed than he usually goes for.

This speed was not like usual, it was mixed with anger and aversion, that's how it felt like. So even if the breeze that he was feeling from the speed that he was going was suppose to ease him and calm his anger, it was no use, because his anger had exceeded more than anything.

Maybe people will say how he's just overreacting and he should calm down, but you see, none of this misunderstanding between you and him would happen if it weren't for his older brother, who's now acting like a meddler.

Who is he to decide shit for him?

What? Is it because he's older and somehow more 'mature' he can make decisions for him without discussing?

Is that what he was trying to imply from his actions?

Even if those two just have a one year age gap, Ran still babies him like they have such a huge age gap between each other and acting as if he knows better. This infantilization towards Rindou needs to stop now.

Sometimes, this overprotectiveness from Ran sure is starting to piss him off and it was not something sweet or affectionate to him anymore, it was just plainly irritating.

He sure has no idea how he's going to discuss with that older brother of his but he knows damn well, that it's not going to turn out good and it will just end up with an intense argument, that's how he was envisioning what was going to happen later.

Just as he finally escaped the traffic jam and was just a few seconds away from his house, he realized how dim his house looked from the outside and he could already tell about one particular thing.

His brother is asleep.

No further explanation to that.

And he's not going to let him has his beauty sleep any longer. Especially when he plan to just scream into his ears to the point his sweet dreams turn into a nightmare.

As he parked his motorbike at his front porch, already taking the key out of the ignition and balancing his motorbike so it wouldn't fall down on the ground, he marched his way towards the door and with no knock as per usual he will do, he only stormed his way in with anger evident by his actions, the door even accidentally slammed against the wall and maybe, without even Rindou realizing that it can might as well cause a crack on the wall.

Then, he saw his lazy brother, sleeping peacefully on the couch, knees to his chest that it was as if he is shaped like a ball, on his side and one of his hands act as a pillow as it rested under his head and still, unwavered of the fact how hard and loud Rindou slammed the door that it could break at any moment. He was still sleeping soundly like if there were an earthquake to happen, he will be one of the missing victims in it just because he will end up failing to escape safely.

His brother's unwavered state had increases his anger even more, because the more calm his brother looks in his sleep, the more infuriating it looks to Rindou. It was like a sign from Ran of how Rindou's anger is not making him budge at all or he just couldn't careless.

So Rindou went on to move his steps towards his brother that was on the couch and he aggressively shook his brother's shoulders, forcing him to wake from his slumber.

Still, Ran sure is deep in his sleep and waking him up forcefully sure is not a good idea, considering how he's the type to wake up on his own usually and it totally depends on him when he was going to wake up. There can be to an extent where he didn't wake up the whole day. I mean, it is a skill of his to sleep for 24 hours straight.

Rindou sure was getting more annoyed as his attempt to wake his brother up isn't working and the fact is right now he's so impatient that he just wants to take a pail full of water and throw it right onto his face.

But still, he remained calm and try not to behave emotionally and now he shook his brother's shoulder even harder, and exclaimed, "Hey! Wake up!"

His brother was starting to squirm a little from his position and scrunching up his eyebrows, showing signs how he is getting uncomfortable that his peaceful sleep is getting disrupted.

Rindou shook his shoulder way harder than before and Ran was starting to get annoyed as he grunted.

At times other than this, Rindou probably would have run his way to the bathroom to hide from his scary brother, but now, he's just angry, so there's no ounce of fear inside him at the moment.

Ran was not having it and as much how he was to lazy to talk or even open his eyes, he only slapped his brother's hand away and clicked his tongue in annoyance.

"Get lost," He muttered softly and it sounded gibberish in Rindou's ears as in to say his brother's words did not make sense or it sounds like alien language but he truly understood what he was saying.

Because his brother surely only gives that particular reply whenever he tries to wake him up and usually, Rindou will stop trying and let him be, because those words are a warning, like if Rindou attempted to wake him up again after he said that, then Rindou probably would have been dead.

But right now, he's in a desperate situation, anger was the only thing inside him and he proceeds to force his brother to wake up this time. It doesn't matter and he has no sense of fear inside him, he was just overtaken by anger and the more stubborn Ran is acting, the angrier he is now.

He give a soft slap on Ran's cheek and that had made his brother gasped all of the sudden, not comprehending how Rindou dared enough to do that to him.

"Wake up, you asshole." Rindou shook his shoulders more aggressively, "Pretty sure you have an explanation to do about last night!" Rindou said in a monotonous and lifeless tone, he sure is not being respectful to his brother as he already started his words with an insult.

The word asshole from Rindou's mouth had made Ran finally sat up from his lying position, as he was still in a daze and not fully woken up yet, but still, he manage to try talking to Rindou, even if his voice was hoarse and not making him speak eloquently as he always been, "Rindou, I'm sleeping right now. Can we talk later?"

As Ran was about to land on his back again on the sofa, Rindou pushed his body back up again, resisting him from lying on the sofa and said, "No,"
Now it was Rindou's turn to click his tongue out of annoyance. "We're talking right now."

Ran pushed Rindou's hand on his shoulder and his calm tone before is starting to fill with anger so quickly, "Fuck. Just give me 30 minutes, please. I only got 8 hours of sleep yesterday."

Again, he attempted to lie himself on the sofa again but this time, Rindou pushed his back onto the sofa, making him finally sit properly instead of being in a position that he was half lying down before and Ran sure was so close to give Rindou a punch in the face.

It's not something new to Rindou of how Ran is not the type of person he should mess with when he's sleeping and as much how calm and patient his brother can be compared to him, his anger issues are something else if someone dares to disturb his sleeping time and Rindou sure is doing the exact thing now, and it might as well just him wishing death upon himself.

"That's more than enough!" Rindou shouted as his brother stated before how 8 hours of sleep is not sufficient for him when in fact it already is and it's obviously standard for people his age to sleep only for 6 hours. What is he supposed to be? An infant that sleeps for 14 hours? For goodness sake, Rindou is going to a glow a gasket.

"You lazy asshole." Rindou paused for a moment, making sure Ran heard his insult very clearly and continued, "All you do is sleep and become a nuisance!"

Ran scrunched up his eyebrows as he still can't fathom why is Rindou insulting and getting angry at him out of the blue like he has not known him for a long time. He has been living this lazy and careless lifestyle for years...so is his little brother just choose this random day to finally show his concern or something?

Or is there something else that was triggering Rindou's anger in the first place

"Why are you getting angry all of the sudden?" Ran scratched his unitchy hair that was in a mess due to him sleeping so aggressively on the couch. Might just say that his long golden black hair was going to every angle and direction that was possible, that's how unkempt it was.

"I can't..." Ran paused for a moment and yawn loudly like he has not getting any sleep for years and continued, "God, I can't understand what you're saying if you keep on screaming at me like that."

Rindou sure is frustrated with his brother that he was going to scream at his face to the point their house crumble. The fact how Rindou is so angry and Ran was just all calm and act all nonchalant and doofus was not making things any better. It was just making him angrier than before and he just can't slow down his tone and kept saying in such a higher octave, as if Ran couldn't hear him in the first place.

I'm going to strangle him using his hair, I swear to god.

"Why do you let them wait all night long?"

Ran was confused, not understanding the 'them' that Rindou was referring to so he stayed silent and let his little brother continue lashing out.

"You know those Kyougoku ex-members are always out at night, right?"

Now, like there's an imaginary light bulb on Ran's head, he finally understood what Rindou has been getting angry about and he sure can't believe that Rindou is feeling that way in the first place. He was supposed to be thanking him and how much of good older brother he is for protecting him.

So of course, because how different those two are, like they're from a different dimension, Ran will think the opposite and would've think that he didn't do anything wrong.

Of course, between you and his brother, he will obviously choose Rindou instead.

Why should he give a fuck about what was going to happen to you?

You're on your own.

And that's exactly what you get for hurting his little brother's feelings and the fact that Rindou even help you get back your mother's handbag and he also decided to make his ass involve in it too...

...And then you decide to say that his brother was no different than those guys just like Rindou had predicted?

There was no way there'll be an ounce of sympathy that he should show you or that gorgeous looking friend of yours (of course, he can't ignore a pretty girl near his radar but still, he was firm with his decision).

So why the hell Rindou was being angry at him? His older brother that helped him and was trying to make him realise that you're not worth to be friends with, he can already tell how toxic you can be and he sure doesn't want his brother to befriend someone like that.

He doesn't want his brother to be associated or talking with you anymore, but it seems that his brother's reaction was out of what he expected.

It also seems that he's on your side rather than his.

"What if something bad—"

"What if?" Ran cut his brother off instantly and continued, "Why should I care if anything bad happen to her or her friend?" He shrugged his shoulders like his words were so easy for him to say and wasn't heartless.

Rindou's lazy sleepy eyes widened in shock, not believing what he just heard from his brother's mouth.

Is his brother a psychopath or something?

How can he just say that with no ounce of guilt? Like it was okay to hope something bad happens to someone. Isn't that just being a cruel and heartless person?

As Rindou was about to retort back, Ran wasn't showing any signs that he wants to hear what Rindou has to say and continued talking again, "Why—No, I mean... how can you still be concerned about her well-being? You know that she literally sees you the same as those guys, anyways. So why the hell do you bother to care if they hurt her or something as she can also assume that you have the possibility to do that to her too? It's not making sense to me."

Ran shook his head out of exhaustion and said, "Why are you being such a pushover?"

As the word 'pushover' came out from Ran's mouth, Rindou sure can't help but feel like his heart was getting stabbed and it hurt his pride so badly.

How can his own brother say that to him?

What is it that him being a decent human being is considered to be a pushover?

"Since when—"

Ran cut him off quickly, not bothering to let him speak, "You still care about her....even after she said all of that to you?"

Ran must have misunderstood the whole point. This anger in Rindou was rooted from Ran trying to do shit for him or just meddling in his business.

This argument that you and he had was between the two of you, supposedly it's just you two that has to settled it by yourselves so Asuka and Ran are not obligated to do anything in the first place, but yet those two decide to butt-in like they're having the argument instead of you two.

Rindou never even stated that he had forgiven you, he knows where his place is and he still has self respect. He never did try to become a pushover or beg on his knees to you to trust him out of the blue.

None of this wouldn't happen if you haven't doubted him and you're basically in the wrong in the first place, so that's why he got lost first when you both argued and was waiting for you to properly apologize to him if you want to mend your friendship and him back.

But still, Rindou sure is undeniably and without even trying, a very nice person and still, he tried to understand what it's like to be in your shoes and sure it is difficult to trust him after what happened to your mother. But yet, that doesn't give you the right to hurt him, especially when he's the one that retrieved your mother's handbag.

You both just knew each other for 2 weeks, basically you both are still strangers and don't know each other that much, so in the end, this situation is prone to happen anyways.

Whatever the fuck it is, the real reason and the people that you two should be angry at and blaming on is those Kyougoku ex- members that decided to mug your mother.

They're the villain to all of this.

So Rindou was starting to become calm than he was before, trying to talk to his brother with no anger in his tone, so he took a subtle deep breath and wishing that both of them wouldn't reach to the point that they start to hit each other,

"Ran,"

Oh god.

That's a very wrong move from Rindou.

Did he forget how much his brother doesn't like to be called by his name?

Without a doubt, Ran, who was in his lazy mood all this time, suddenly snapped all of the sudden as he glared at Rindou in anger and even started standing up from his seat, "Don't you dare call my name, you brat!"

Rindou took a step back a little and wipe off the spit that was coming out from Ran's mouth on his left cheek, still trying to remain calm even if he wanted to slap himself for saying his brother's name as he forgotten that his brother hates it when he does that and it usually does happen whenever they both are fighting.

"Nii-chan," He corrected himself and continued, "I never said that I have forgiven her and...you know damn well why we're living like this, right?"

Rindou sure is bad at all of this. Just as he was trying to make things better between him and his brother and trying to reduce the tension of the argument, he decided to make it all worse.

Ran ignored the first sentence that his brother said and focused on the next one, which is the sentence that he knows that his brother was referring about him and that just made him let out a sarcastic chuckle, not believing that his brother wants to go there, "Is this finally the day you're blaming me?"

Rindou rolled his eyes and let out a sigh, he sure is tired with Ran thinking that every word he was saying is going to revolve around him, "That's not my point. This isn't about blaming you about what—"

"Then, why—what are you—"

"I'm saying," Rindou cut him off quickly and his tone was louder than Ran's and he proceeded, "If we had lived normally like her, I would end up doubting people like us. Yeah, especially us, Nii-chan."

Ran was starting to get tired with this argument that was going out of nowhere as he had his palms rub off all over his face, as if that can ease his frustration in the first place and he rested both of his hands on his cheeks and said, "You literally said you hadn't forgiven her and now...you're basically on her side, like what she did to you was valid. Like you don't mind about it because there's an excuse behind her actions...is that what you're trying to say?"

"Are you even listening to what I just said?"

"I might have just woken up but I'm pretty sure my brain is still functioning well."

This argument was just getting more complicated than it already has. It was just Rindou keeping on struggling with what he was trying to convey but yet it just lead to a misunderstanding from his brother.

How great.

Might as well just take a whole century for this argument to finally end on a good note.

"Rindou." The elder brother paused for a moment as he tried to recollect his words and construct proper sentences, "She's the problem in this situation. She most definitely...has prejudice towards people like us, not knowing how we barely try to survive and we could have wound up dead anywhere on the street if we hadn't chosen this lifestyle. She will never understand, as she has parents to protect her and have her back. Us? We only have ourselves, Rindou. So I don't give the slightest shit about what she has to say or do or I seriously don't want you to befriend someone that can't even respect you."

"And also...if she is going to doubt us, it was only supposed to be me." He emphasised his words by pointing a finger at himself and continued, "You didn't do anything wrong at all."

Rindou stayed silent, digesting every word that his brother was saying. Of course, now he can truly see the reasons of his brother's actions and through his perspective, just as Rindou predicted, he just wanted to be a protective older brother as he was the one and only, technically, parental figure since he was 5.

But yet, Ran doesn't own Rindou. He's not that guy's property and obviously, he doesn't have the right to go overboard or invade Rindou's privacy.

He truly is crossing the line, if Rindou is being honest.

And now, Ran is starting to talk about what had happened five years ago. As this might be the first time they start talking about it again, after their release from juvenile 3 years ago.

Clearly, there's no use for them to discuss it ever again. They got the punishment that they deserve by the law and after their release, they just decide to move on from whatever that traumatic event had caused them. But, now Ran is bringing it up...without even trying and Rindou doesn't even want to talk about this for the rest of his life but yet, it has something to do with you.

And that's already showing signs and make Rindou contemplate if you and him should stay friends.

God, how is he going to tell you, anyways?

He just wishes that the incident would never happen.

Easier for him to not keep anything from you.

"She has no idea." Rindou said, as his gaze was far away from Ran, like he was so deep in his thoughts and how much of a burden it felt to just say that.

Ran scrunched up his eyebrows, he understands what Rindou was implying but still, he wants to reconfirm his assumption, "Huh?"

Rindou finally made eye contact with his brother, showing how petrified his eyes looked as he explained, "The incident 5 years ago. She has no clue about it."

Instead of screaming his lungs out of shock, Ran just cursed under his breath, "Fucking hell, Rindou. How did you even find out?"

"Her friend told me just now."

"So do you even plan to tell her?"

Rindou remained quiet like he doesn't know how to answer the question. I mean, of course he is, especially when he has no answer in mind in the first place like he just wishes he doesn't even need to tell you about it all. He just wants to run away and avoid it or even just erase that memory in everyone else's head.

All the people that heard about the incident knew about it through the news, and it wasn't even from Ran or Rindou's mouth. Like of course they wouldn't say or tell people about it like it's achievements that they did, that's just bastard behaviour.

But they both are totally aware on why their underlings are so loyal and somehow 'respected' them.

Maybe, one of the reasons is their strength and charisma in leading lots of delinquents.

But there's only way main thing that has led to their submissive behaviourd from the first place.

Of course.

Fear.

Obviously, they don't want to be their next victim.

I mean, that's just fucking crazy for someone to wish to get a skull fracture from them, right?

Or to make it clearer, being in Taiko's shoes.

Aiba Taiko,who was the vice president of Kyougoku.

As much how the late man is already 22 in the moment, yet humiliatingly he had accidentally gotten murdered by a 13 year-old who had punched and brutalized his face to the death.

Correction.

A drugged 13 year-old.

As much how mysterious Taiko is as he has no solid background or practically to say, none of the members of Kyougoku knows anything much about him, like he had never spoken about his family or even where he came from.

All they know that he was one of the most influential delinquents in Roppongi from 1997 to 2000 (the year of his death), and he was not that strong as he was known more for his intelligence in scheming and leading.

Maybe, it make him look like a good man as he didn't commit all those unimaginable crimes that Kyougoku had done such as robbery, prostitution, drug trafficking, gambling and even their worst well known tradition, which is gang raping women to celebrate fight victories.

It was sickening and disgusting. Kyougoku are not filled with human beings or plainfully teenagers that like to fight, they're just monsters. They can't even label themselves as delinquents as their crime was on a whole nother level that they can be deemed as criminals instead.

Right.

But want to know what's shocking instead?

All those corrupted ways and schemes were rooted from Taiko himself. It was as if he is the root of evil that was intertwining in Kyougoku all along.

He doesn't get his hands dirty or commit any of those crimes, he just watches it from the sidelines and manipulates others to do it for him instead. He lets the leader outshine him and let the attention away from him, because he likes it more that way, being so fucking horrible but yet no one bats an eye on you because they underestimated you.

He was more demonic than anyone could have imagined.

Intimidating and unbelievably intelligent, so that's why many delinquents were forced to obey his orders as they know how their lives are just at the palm of his hand and he can't take it at any moment.

So that's why as the shocking incident happen, the city was divided into two, as in there will be people in the perspectives to say that the Haitani brothers didn't do anything wrong, since they are still labeled as children that doesn't know better and as many people had known all the horrendous crimes that Taiko instigated, some will even say that he deserves to die as his punishment of committing all of that.

But then, there will be ones that are against all that and still believe that the brothers should have gotten a maximum sentence in juvenile. As they are so young but dare to commit murder. It doesn't matter how horrible a person can be, no one deserves to die, as Taiko should have gotten his punishment by the law instead of death.

Rindou doesn't give the slightest damn what side are other people in and people's thoughts and critics will always just be assumptions as they never know him that well.

But then, he knows for sure that you're on the second side, where you will be way more terrified of him that you'll ever be.

Because right now, even in a circumstance where Rindou doesn't do anything wrong, you still had doubted and hurt his feelings.

What about the crimes that he actually committed?

Might as well just give up this friendship, right?

Especially when he knows how it is going to turn out if he stays on keeping it a secret and avoids talking about it. Every secret can't be kept forever and this incident was also publicized for the public to know or actually the main thing that had made Ran and Rindou known in the city from the first place.

God, things could have been way worse.

But yet, Rindou stayed stubborn.

"I don't know." That's the only answer he had in mind but if there was an option, he doesn't want to tell you at all and hide about it forever. He just wish that everyone in this city will just have their memory wipe out about the incident and never will anyone bring it up or have the tendency to tell you about it at all.

Rindou's lazy answer was just making Ran facepalm himself, that's why he's sometimes so pissed off when Rindou tries to act like he's all high and mighty and how he knows better when in this situation, he was just being immature and technically, having no idea what the hell he was trying to do.

Ran knows that this is none of his business but he is aware and can already envision of how you're going to hurt him even more when you find out about this. Ran is so sick of this, he always try to emphasize that the incident is his fault and Rindou has done no wrong.

Maybe, he was involve in it and can be label as an accomplice but yet, the murderer here is Ran. So therefore, you shouldn't doubt Rindou at all but still, by the looks of it, even in this situation that Rindou is obviously not in the wrong, you start to blame him instead and accuse him of being behind all of this (the mugging).

"Yet...you still want to be friends with her?"

Rindou sure just pretended to not hear what Ran said and his mind was led back to one and only thing that he wants to focus on.

The letter.

Yes.

That should be the indicator if he should continue being friends with you or not. He doesn't want that incident to stop him from doing so, that reason is just stupid to Rindou.

How long does that incident had affected him and traumatised him?

No one will have any idea how he wish that he has a good childhood and live like any other normal kid out there and not even involve himself with delinquency at all.

That incident has refrain him to get anything he deserve. It took everything away from him.

Genuine happiness.

Genuine confidence.

Genuine connection.

Even, genuine friends.

Let it be a whole billions of delinquents have decided to work and obey under him, he will still be the loneliest man and how he realize that no one can over genuinely care about him.

So, at least. Let him have a friend.

That should be enough.

Why can't his brother see how hard it is for him to even get one?

And now he was trying to stop you and him from being friends?

No way.

Even if he had decided to cut off ties with you, he will make sure that he is the one that determines it to be over.

Not the incident.

Not even his older brother.

Just him.

Let him decide for himself, even if he is so sure that he is always going to make the foolest decision ever.

"Just give me the letter," Rindou said, as his words was clear enough to tell Ran that he just wants this argument to end already and let him settle all this himself, Ran doesn't have to stuck his nose in it anymore with all of this, it was never his problem in the first place anyways.

"What?" Ran asked with confusion in his tone.

"Don't act dumb, I know you're hiding it."

Ran that was acting out as if he was confused before finally surrendered and an exhausted look was etched on his face instead, "No, Rindou."

Good god he's such a hassle.

Rindou let out a sigh of annoyance as he know he's not good at being persuasive or forcing someone.

"Stop being friends with her. You can't even tell her—"

"Just give the fucking letter, damn it! Why do you need to be so controlling? Isn't this supposed to be my life? And it's not yours, right? Why do you care so much about it anyway?"

"Rin—"

"Just shut up already. You don't— No, you will never understand. As much as you think you know me inside out, you will never know what it's like to be in my shoes. Don't think because...what? That we grew up together and basically you know me too well like you can just read me like a book? Cut that bullshit." Rindou paused for a moment, trying to regain his breath as he was speaking so angrily and fast, that he was almost out of breath.

"You have no right to make decisions for me," Just as Rindou finished that sentence, he went his way upstairs, not knowing where he should be doing next as he was still fuming.

Maybe he'll just bump into bed and go straight ahead to sleep or he'll probably just take a long bath to calm his nerves down.

What he knows for sure that the aftermath of this argument is just him constantly avoiding Ran and not talking to him until he apologize.

Everyone is doing him so wrong. All he wanted was an apology. But sometimes he felt like does he even deserve to get one? It's not like his living such a righteous life anyways.

And the fact he realizes that although he had said to you, with his own mouth that he is not like those guys (Kyougoku ex-members), he was starting contemplate what he just said.

Especially on the day where he beaten up the muggers and heard them saying how Rindou has no right to think that he's better. He commited a crime too, which is murder.

So in the end he will just be equal to them, right?

So what is it that he was trying to say that he's better than them? At which part? Because he was living the bare minimum of not drug dealing and hurting women?

Does that just make him a good person or that's just exactly how basically everyone should live and he doesn't need to get applaud for it?

God, everything in this world is just confusing him.

As he stomp his way upstairs, not bothering to look at his brother's figure that was still standing in front of the sofa and not moving an inch, he then heard a sudden sentence coming out from Ran.

"It's on the dresser,"

Those words halted Rindou's steps for a while, not believing that his brother finally admitted defeat. He only took a glance at his brother that still has his back on him, he said it without looking at Rindou, so he wasn't sure what face was he making.

But he knows that he has finally surrendered, so it didn't matter.

Without uttering any response or thanking his brother, he went on to fasten his steps like the letter can just vanish out of nowhere if he was late.

He moved his way to his brother's room, opening the door so widely as if he just couldn't fit through the door with a normal opening.

The door was just left open and as Rindou finally darted his eyes towards his brother's dresser, he went his way there and gaze on it.

Trying to find something that he hasn't seen yet.

The letter.

Is it an envelope? In what color? Or is it just a folded paper?

He wasn't sure yet.

As he roam his eyes on the table, trying to find anything that can be logical to be a letter. And then he finally saw, a folded line paper, that was hidden in between the mini rack of his brother's Saint Laurent perfume collection.

There it is!

Rindou quickly took the letter out of the racks and as he finally retrieved it, he went on his way to sit on his brother's bed without permission.

There he saw the folded paper in his hand, and he can already assume that you just took the paper out of your school notebook, maybe because you were in such a hurry and you had no choice.

Rindou can't decide what he's feeling right now. Is he nervous or he just doesn't feel anything? He doesn't know which one he should feel at the moment right now, if he were being honest.

This letter is not just going to be any letter to him, because this piece of paper of what you've written in there, he's going to decide if he is going to still be friends with you or not.

That's how crazy it will be. It was going to determine his decision.

Although Rindou's words and actions seems to be showing how he's already forgiven you, still, he was still firm with this decision instead.

Making the letter as his last decision.

Because everything you have written will decide if you actually are a nice person that was still being private or not trusting him fully yet or you're actually just a self-centred girl and you're toxic and he should stay away from you.

You had to think and decide to write the right words in the letter.Basically to say that you can't just say you accidentally write it in there, that's not possible.

Words can be an accident.

But not letters or anything that is written.

Any form of writing shows someone's true colors, their thoughts, their behavior and their perspective about the world.

Writings will always reflect the writer's mind.

And he wondered what actually you will be like in this letter.

Are you just going to twist your words around and say that you have an excuse towards your behavior to him and he shouldn't be so sensitive?

Or are you just going to ask forgiveness from him and admit your mistakes?

Guess he will only know.

Once he finally read the letter.

_____________

Rindou only stayed silent, not a single word can't be left from his mouth. Just the sound of a droplet falling from his eyes that landed on the letter was the only sound accompanying him, it sounded like raindrops that are tapping on a window.

Damn it...

Guess you can already guess what was his decision was going to be all along.

Just by the look of it, Rindou knew that he always and forever will have the biggest weakness when it comes to letters. Maybe it's all because of that particular reason, but not only that, it was also the words that you have written on the letter.

For once, he gets to see a different side of you.

This was not all harsh, sarcastic or the you that likes to insult and deprecate others, this was just a genuine side of you that was warm, kind and very genuine.

Maybe, all of those acts of you being satanic was just a shield that you put on for the ones that you aren't close or don't trust yet, because it seems that you only kept the real genuine and vulnerable side of you for the ones that truly matter to you and the ones that you care about.

You didn't bother to show all of that for the ones that are still strangers with you. Maybe, there was something bad that happen in your past that made you not trust others so easily.

But well, Rindou can say that this letter sure was a cheat move from you. Because Rindou has always been weak to letters, especially when it is associated with what had happened to him in the past.

Maybe at this point if anyone did something so unforgettable to him that if they apologize to him using a letter and is very genuine with their words...

...then, Rindou wouldn't even think twice to accept their apology.

His eyes that were glistening with tears were then wiped off with the back of his palm and he realized that his nose was quite runny, maybe because he has been suppressing his hiccups from coming out.

He sure doesn't want his tears to stain the letter and ruin the ink, but some droplets had smeared the writing in the paper.

Just as Rindou was about to stand up from his brother's bed and head his way to his bedroom and do the one important thing that he had in mind now, out of the blue, he only just realised that his brother has been leaning on the door frame all this time and embarrassingly to say...

..he might have seen Rindou crying when he read the letter.

Rindou clicked his tongue, annoyed that he got witness by his brother and wanted to curse himself for not closing the door or head to his room straight away once he gotten the letter, he was too impatient just now so that's why he just choose the fastest option to get himself comfortable.

"You're always weak to letters, you know?" Ran said, as he knew that his decision of hiding the letter might have been a good way to stop Rindou and you being friends, because he knows for sure that his brother was going to forgive you anyways.

Ran doesn't even have to read the letter, he knows that his brother is going to turn all apologetic once he read it.

It's quite a rare occasion for apology letters to be shitty, in fact, a shitty apology is when it comes out from someone's mouth as they have to think the right words before they could speak.

If someone wasn't bothering to admit their mistakes or not even having the effort to apologize, will they even want to write an apology letter?

Absolutely not.

Someone that knows that they're in the wrong and can't reach out to the person, and have no choice but to find another solution to apologize will have the effort to write one.

And that's what you have been doing.

But you know, still, as much how Ran was trying to have faith in you and thinking that you deserve to be Rindou's friend, he just can't stop repeating your awful words that you have said to Rindou in his head (Rindou told him about it right away when it happened and informed him that you guys aren't friends anymore at that time).

So of course, he wants to choose his brother and he doesn't want his brother to be a pushover and forgive you so easily, you literally did something very bad.

But just as Rindou said, as much how he thinks that he knows everything about Rindou, everything will never be enough and he might have been too controlling and underestimating Rindou at times.

He just wants the best for his brother but surely, his brother knows his own self than him.

As the same as Rindou just said, he doesn't own him. And just because Rindou's decision was different than his, it doesn't make his brother stupid or immature, it was just him choosing the decision that he knows what is best.

"Shut up," Rindou muttered, not wanting to agree with Ran's words as he already thought of that even before he stated it.

Maybe that weakness of his was so obvious that even Ran can notice it.

"Let me guess..." Ran acted out like he was thinking so hard and continued, "You were thinking if the letter—I mean, the letter is for you to decide if you're going to—"

Rindou let out a frustrated sigh, still his voice was quite nasally when he started to speak, "Can you stop guessing things, right?" He paused and continued, "Goodness. Am I that predictable?"

Ran went his way to settle himself beside his little brother. Sometimes, that feeling of realizing how grown your sibling has turn will start making him feel melancholic.

You know those words that are mixed with happiness but also a genuinely sad feeling inside them, 'you've grown up so fast, I wish you could remember how you were when you were little as much as I remember it,'

But of course, the brothers are not the affectionate type or to say they don't show that they love each other with words that much (Basically Rindou is not fit for it). It's just through actions and that's more than enough. Acts of service to make it simple.

So Ran had never uttered that melancholic thought in his head and proceed to tease his brother instead, "You are as cliche as those romance movie CDs that you like to collect," He then nudged his brother with his elbow.

Rindou only frowned at his brother's words that are not helping him and scoffed, "I hate you,"

"I love you too~"

That made Rindou cringed all of the sudden and that sure sent goosebumps to his whole body. It was weird to hear him say that and as much how it's not something new for Ran to say that to him, but you see, Rindou have never replied 'I love you too' to Ran even once before.

He doesn't know why but it just makes him uncomfortable. Like being lovey dovey or just having sibling affection was just weird to him.

"That's disgusting, man. Please stop." Rindou couldn't control his disgusted expression, as if Ran was committing a horrible crime towards him or something.

Ran stayed silent, there's only a playful smirk on his features as if making Rindou uncomfortable and cringing was amusing him so much. Well, of course it will, because if Rindou suddenly become affectionate all of the sudden, he is sure that his brother was possessed by some unknown entity or something because that will just be impossible for the real Rindou to do.

And then as silence was filling between the both of them and Rindou was folding back the letter in his hand with the same folding pattern before, Ran said something the most unexpected words Rindou have ever heard that he was frozen in his own seat.

"It's her....

...isn't it?"

Rindou's puffy and red eyes widened as he was in state of disbelief.

No way.

How can his brother guess to that extent?

He didn't even told him anything about it.

It was surprising to him that his brother still remembers about it, even if it has nothing to do with him at all...and the fact he told him about it a long time ago, and never brought it up again after their mother's death.

He told him about it just once even.

But yet...he can still remember?

How funny that Ran remembered about this instead of you.

Rindou was speechless, not a single word can describe how shocked he is at the moment.

"God, I'm just so good at guessing, aren't I?" Ran said arrogantly with a victorious smirk on his face and he was so amused to see how terrified Rindou looked.

"How the hell..."

"Your bro knows everything, Rindou." Him saying it like it was a superpower or something and continued, "You plan on telling her that, then?"

Rindou's shocked expression turns into disappointment, not knowing when will be the right time to tell you the reasons why he wants to be friends with you.

Well, actually, he doesn't want to tell you about it you know.

Because it will be no fun.

He wants you to figure it out on your own.

It's good to remember someone, but it's just painfully sad when that someone has no clue at all and acted as if they were still strangers.

"I don't know," He shrugged his shoulders and breathe in a little harder so that the flu in his nose wouldn't come out, "I wish she'll find out about it herself. But I think it's hopeless. It's a long time ago anyways and she's probably forgotten about me."

As how bitter those words coming from his mouth, it was the truth anyways. Maybe, that moment between you two was only special to him and never was to you, that's why you have no idea why Rindou wants to befriend you.

It's not just about him wanting to be friends with you actually.

It's actually fulfilling a promise.

That sadly...

...you made it first.

"When did you realize?"

Rindou took a deep breath and trying to remember the particular moment that had made him realise. And just as if a light bulb was popping out of his head, he then remembered.

The night that he was holding the ginger kitten in his hand while the other was holding the motorbike handle, he was riding it as slow as possible, not wanting to hurt the injured kitten even more.

At first, he did thought in his head, the words 'that girl...' but he completely forgotten about it when he reached home and was busying himself to find a first aid-kit to treat the little one.

And as he was roaming through drawers, the attic, every storage room that they have, he accidentally found something that wasn't needed for him to get at the moment.

But like it was on cue or like it was fate, the object popped after that questionable encounter he had with you and that's when he realised, what was the incomplete sentence in his head was.

That girl...

...looks familiar.

And that's when it happen.

When he was in the middle of finding of the first aid-kit, he knew something that you still don't.

And now he's just going to wait for you to realize it too.

Hoping that you kept it somewhere in your house and it will magically appear back to you.

Well, because fate decide to do that to him? So might as well do that to you too, right?

Even him becoming your writing portfolio partner sure was making him question fate on why is it doing this.

"The day I bring Mikan in."

Ran was dumbfounded with the unfamiliar name that Rindou uttered and asked, "Mikan?"

"The ginger kitten, dumbass." He said as if he was offended of how Ran can't even figure that simple thing out and obviously, he doesn't even need to explain it in the first place.

The word Mikan, which is Tangerine in japanese, was already making it obvious so that's why he couldn't restrain from calling him a dumbass.

Ran rolled his eyes as if the word 'kitten' coming out from Rindou's mouth was already making him annoyed and mad, "Not that little demon..." he muttered slowly as if he intended to not let Rindou hear it.

But unfortunately he did.

"It's not his fault that you're allergic to cats!" Rindou exclaimed, not having it of how Ran will always be annoyed with cats that are innocent and the one to blame is his body that made him that way. Even him calling cats 'little demons' was offensive to Rindou like it was directed to him.

Ran scoffed as Rindou said that as if he was overreacting or being dramatic.

Of course, he wouldn't understand what it feels like to suffer a sinus infection for a week that literally causes him headaches and also had made his taste buds not functional, he can't even taste the pleasure of food when he's eating.

That's how horrible the sinus infection had caused him and his brother have the audacity to get mad him?

When he's obviously the one that bring the little demon in the house?

"I suffered for a week, you brat!"

"Okay...then what do you want me to do? Apologize?"

"Yeah! Obviously!" The octave in Ran's gotten higher gradually and he pointed at the letter that was still in Rindou's grip and continued, "Go ahead and write an apology letter to me! Just like she did,"

As Ran was pointing at the folded letter, like a reflex, he hid it away from Ran's line of sight as if he can't find it anymore and said, "In your dreams,"

He started to stand up from his brother's bed, making the bed creak a little and showing a sign how he's on his way to head out of the room, "It wouldn't happen again, okay? I already got him a foster parent anyways."

Ran eyes suddenly shine as if it was such a great news or something, maybe not because the kitten has found its safe haven but it was just because the possibility of that cat to make him suffer with sinus infection was now zero.

"Woah, really?"

Rindou sure can see how happy his brother and squinted his eyes at him. Actually Rindou was very sad that he had to let Mikan go and wish to adopt him as his own kitten and get to witness it growing up and all.

But circumstances are not approving of it. As much how he looks like he doesn't give the slightest damn about what happened to Ran when he brought Mikan in, he has basic human decency and knows that it's impossible to adopt it, especially because his brother looks like he was about to die with all the sneezing and shit.

"Mhm. That's why I'm not at the hideout last night. I stopped by to visit him."

"It."

"Him."

"It, Rindou. Don't you learn pronouns properly in school?" Ran was still eager to correct him.

Rindou couldn't handle how irritated he felt as he quickened his steps out of his brother's room and said, "I'm out of here."

"Hey! You can't just end our cute brother moment like that!"

"It's not cute. It's just cringing me out."

Ran stood up from his bed and grabbed the doorknob of his bedroom harshly and shouted, "Brat!"

Without looking back, the sound of his brother slamming the bedroom door close was heard behind him. Rindou only acted nonchalant and as if he didn't just heard what his brother called him. I mean, he is aware of how much of a brat he is so there's no point in fighting back anyways.

So Rindou went on to enter his bedroom and plan on taking a shower first before doing what he has to do. As always, Rindou doesn't break his promise and he is true to his word.

Right.

Even if that promise had lasted 12 years ago, he was still hanging on to it.

After that relieving shower, Rindou went on wearing a T-shirt with shorts and he decided to wash his hair for the night to relieve his stress for today that had finally ended, so let's say the shower before was like a reward for him to himself for getting through such a tough day.

Rindou took out a small towel from his closet and started wrapping it on his head, drying his hair out that still has water trickling down from it.

He moved to sit on his bed and grab his flipphone that was resting on the coffee table near his bed.

He dialed a particular number using his right hand while the other was still moving the towel on his head back and forth, making sure that his hair can dry fully when he's going to sleep later (he has a hair dryer actually but sometimes he doesn't like using it because it will burn his neck).

Just as he put his flipphone onto his ear and the sound of ringing finally ended with a sound of someone picking up, with no greet or a word 'hello' from him, he instantly went on to say, "Miyamura."

He heard grunts and a sigh first before the person responded with a confused tone, "Heh? Haitani?" She paused for a moment as if Rindou can already tell how she was looking at the contact on her phone first, making sure she was addressing the right person and she continued, "Why—It's 1 in the morning for the love of God," a tired sigh came out from her mouth and sound of her brushing her palm across her face can be heard.

Rindou couldn't care less what time it is as he just plan to make the call short and simple, "I read the letter,"

"Read?" Asuka was confused at first as if she wasn't understanding about it but as she realised, her tone started to turn into a happy one, "Oh! The letter!"

"Yeah,"

Rindou simply answered and stopped it right there, like he was restricting his words to Asuka or something.

Asuka sure was not liking the silence, because she assumed that Rindou is not going to accept your apology and to add on more, his tone sounds emotionless, so she just can't help to think about the worst.

"So...?" Asuka said, waiting for an explanation that she thought she has to know.

Rindou remained silent, as if she didn't hear her and was diverting his attention to say something else.

Rindou sudden silence was going on for too long and Asuka couldn't help but say, "Hello?" like he just lost connection with him or something.

"Bring her to the alleyway near your restaurant." Finally, Rindou had said something after that long ass pause.

"What?" Asuka was in a state of confusion, can't fathom on why Rindou wasn't answering her question but still she went on to focus on what Rindou had stated to her just now, "The creepy one? Why there out of all places?"

"Just bring her there," Again with Rindou not wanting to explain anything on why and what was this all about, he was just hoping that Asuka will do as he say and not question him much.

I mean, it is between you and him, he doesn't have the obligation to explain to Asuka that basically had nothing to do with it in the first place.

The one that needs to know is only you. So therefore, he didn't bother to explain any of it to Asuka, even if he actually said that he was going to tell her if he forgive you or not, he felt like he wanted to take back his words if he were being honest.

"Okay...this is weird. But...do you forgive her or not?" Asuka was still persistent to get an answer.

As per usual, Rindou was still ignoring her and continued to say something else, "Bring her after cram school,"

"Hey! You're not answering my—"

Just as Asuka was about to finish her sentence, Rindou declined her call right away, knowing he already said enough and there's no use to prolong the call.

It wasn't just Asuka that was tired, he was too. As much how 1.oo am sure is his typical time sleep, today's exhaustion was just something else. With Asuka almost pepper spraying him and the argument he had with his brother, all of that was just draining his energy for real.

After that call, he shut his flip phone and put it on the coffee table, he went on his way to the switch near his door and turn off the lights, all ready to go to sleep, without drying his hair properly.

He plopped himself onto the bed, looking as if he was a starfish and he stare at the ceiling in the dark that was slowly showing the vacant white ceiling in his vision.

He let out a sigh, as if it was enough to describe his exhaustion at the moment. He adjusted the towel that was still wrapped on his head and started to rest his head on the pillow properly and get himself comfortable.

He stared at the ceiling long again, eyes still fixated on it as if it was so interesting to gaze at.

There's only one thing that has been running on his mind.

Not about tomorrow surprisingly.

But it was something else.

Something that you might have least expected that he will say.

If only you remember me...

...(Nickname).

The letter.

A/N: OMG YALL FINALLY AN UPDATE NGEHEHEHHE. Okay, yeah so surprise surprise with that shocking info in the end of the chap. Wait i really don't know what else to say in the notes but we're one chap closer to Rindou's heartbreaking backstory and yall's curiosity about that incident where Rindou crying in the library is going to unravel sooner. I can't wait to cry my the shit out of myself writing that chap (I have to do that because if I don't cry while writing,that means it's not angsty enough). Okay, that's all. Thank you so much for reading this chap. Love yall always and never settle less, if they're not Rindou, why bother liking them? 🤨 jkjk

-zuu