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The day I thought I could have Lola Rivers for real, I realized how she was more like a dream. Perhaps, what we had wasn't the overrated emotion people say they spent their whole lives looking for. Whatever it was, she made me feel the closest thing to love I've ever felt for anyone.

She was altogether beautiful, close to impossible even, and worthy letting go of. It had been three years and there wasn't a single moment where I regret what I did; not as I saw her walk up that stage as the class salutatorian on our graduation day, not when I've heard through an acquaintance that she got accepted at NYU for a pre-med program, not when she was having everything she deserved.

This was how we were different. She was meant for greater things, I was small-town.

After I ended things with her, we haven't spoken a single word to each other. She would always avoid my eyes when we're on the same room, or me entirely. And I learned to be okay with that.

However, a year after high school graduation, that changed.

You see, it was summertime then and I recently got hired as a helper at the town library. Not the most sought-after job, but after joining occasional gigs with these musicians I met on my late-night roguishness, playing on the streets, at bars and clubs in and out of town, I realized I needed more money. When I came in to apply, there were literally no applicants.

The employer, a woman in her forties, simply looked me up and down, scanned my not-so-credible resume, told me to lose the uptight look on my face, and gave me the job, which was practically that of a janitor's. I dust the shelves, mop the floors, rearrange books.

So when she came in, that was, by all sense, what I was doing: gathering cobwebs and dusts. I didn't even hear her walk in. When I saw her, she was already standing there in front of me, as if conceived by thin air.

Her hair was lighter, skin a little darker, eyes bluer. She had no eyeglasses on and was even more beautiful than I remembered. Different, but still my Lola.

She seemed shock to see me, too, because she did a double take. 'Hi,' she said with a faltering smile. I muttered back a stunned hello.

'I'm here to return these books.' She said, handing me a copy of The Great Gatsby and Lolita.

'Oh no. I'm not- Just give it over to the librarian...'

'Oh, okay...' She hesitantly began walking, but stopped short. 'So you work here now? For good or...'

'No,' I told her. 'Just for the summer...how about you? What are you in town for?'

'Summer break.' She said. 'After two semesters, I became a bit homesick so I decided to visit and read books to kill time. Hence, these.' She raised the novels on her hand. 'They're on the list of the top 10 books to read before you die. Just an article I read on the internet.' She told the question on my face, and shied away as if embarrassed by her rambling. I couldn't help but smile.

'So, pre-med?' I mumbled after an utter silence. 'Have you gone to London or Paris as planned?' I knew I should stop, but I needed to know her life after me.

She shook her head no with a wistful smile. 'I figured the time's inconvenient. My parents have been saving up for my college funds ever since I was born, I didn't want to disappoint them. And besides, London can wait, right?'

I simply nodded. Anything can wait for you, I almost told her.

But she was saying 'Well, it's nice seeing you again, Kyle', and sauntering off to the librarian's desk, away from me. As she got her return slip, she looked back and sent me one last smile, one last wave. And I saw everything we might have been, right there in her eyes that I loved most in the world.

After that summer, my mother got remarried to a man as mad as she was, and I left town for good. With a one way ticket on my bag pocket, I slept the whole way so I wouldn't have to see the familiarity of my hometown pass by and slowly fade into nothingness on my window.

I thought of Lola Rivers. What would it feel like if she was here, doing this with me, if she would still remember me in five, ten years. The boy she was once on a cliche with.

I never regret letting her go, but sometimes, I think of how it would be like if I come back and say hello to her again.

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A/n: that's all of it for Kola everybody :) i was listening to Written in Reverse by Tiesto when i wrote this chapter. It's one of those club songs, but I think it fits the solemn context of this story.

Go give it a listen if you haven't yet.

Another note coming up next so stick around for a few seconds longer please.