"It seemed such a lonely way to be twins, I thought. Emmanuel always faced out to a future he was sure he could dream into existence and Ella, always turned back to a past that had meaning only for her." Kaitlyn Greenidge, Libertie: A Novel

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XIV.

Joe had been distracted all morning and did feel terribly for hardly listening to Adam as he talked. It hardly bode well for the eventual meeting between his father and the duke.

Although his father and Adam had known each other at school, as far as Joe knew, they had not been reacquainted as adults. For all Joe's internal anguish, Adam did not seem the wiser.

When the butler finally informed them that the carriage of their expected guests had arrived, Joe's stomach was about in his throat.

Joe focussed on breathing evenly. This would be a good meeting. He was to see his brother again. It had been a long time since they had been in residence under the same roof.

There had always been a separation between Joe and Ed, despite them being born as close as two brothers could be. It was never a separation instigated by either of them, but their father.

Though, for the first six years of their lives, Joe and Ed had been entirely inseparable. They were twins who shared a face and a mind, and for a time in their youth, they had both been convinced that they could hear the other's thoughts and feel the other's pain. Of course, as young, identical boys, they had also pulled pranks on their nanny and had switched places many, many times.

But despite being identical, their father, John Parish, the Viscount Evesham, had always been able to tell them apart. Perhaps that was the way of things when one son, the first, gave him everything he'd ever wanted, and the second, the unexpected son, had taken everything in an instant. John Parish always knew which twin was which.

Since then, Joe had felt Ed consistently being pulled away from him. Ed had been the one person in his life who had always been on his side. Ed had been the one to fight the battles that Joe was not strong enough to fight. He had been the one to stand up to their father when he was harsh or cruel. But as they grew out of childhood, it became apparent that their lives would take very different trajectories.

Ed was the heir. He was destined to be a peer, and to join the House of Lords. He was to be a great gentleman and would marry a great gentlelady and would sire many gentlechildren.

Joe was the spare. Joe was the son who wasn't anticipated or needed.

"Are you alright, Mr Parish?" Adam asked Joe as they approached the landing. "You look as though you have sucked on a sour grape."

"Yes," Joe replied, a little too quickly. "Yes, I am fine."

When they reached the landing, Joe could see that the Beresford family had begun to gather in the foyer to receive their guests. After a quick survey of the members present, Joe immediately noticed that Perrie was not among them. Where was she?

But then, Joe supposed that it was probably a good thing that Perrie was not present. She could not provoke him into saying something catty, and he could also delay his brother learning that the infamous Peregrine who had been the bane of his existence for half of his life was actually a girl the size of a croquet mallet.

When Grace saw her husband descending the stairs, she asked, "Is Perrie up there with you? Nobody can seem to find her."

"No," Adam replied with a shake of his head. "Hasn't she been hiding in the library these last few days pretending to read?"

"She is not in there." Grace pursed his lips as a puzzled expression crossed her face.

Joe, however, was still stuck on the duke's comment about Perrie pretending to read in the library. Was that where she had been the past few days?

"I have two housemaids searching the house for Lady Perrie, Your Grace," the butler replied. "She will turn up."

Adam nodded. "Lily, once we have greeted our guests, could you please go and help find your sister?" he asked of his second daughter.

Lily nodded just as they all heard the sounds of a carriage stopping through the open front door. The Beresfords, sans Perrie, seemed to form a receiving line quite quickly, led by Adam and Grace at the front.

Without realising, Joe had stopped himself from walking beyond the base of the staircase. As the guests were his family, he ought to have been first in line in order to make introductions. But he could not force his legs to move. His heart was beating rather erratically in his chest and he had forgotten to breathe for at least a minute.

And he seemed to forget how entirely when the two guests crossed the threshold of Ashwood House. The first was a man who carried himself with great airs. He was a proud gentleman who savoured his name and position. He was the sort of man who could make even the tallest of people feel little. Joe was certainly not a man of short stature, and yet, as he looked upon his father for the first time in a little over two years, he felt all of five years old again.

John Parish was about the same height as his two sons, and his blond hair had long turned grey despite only being in his mid-forties. Considering that he had to be of a similar age to the duke, John's age was far more apparent.

Happiness in marriage and in life, it seemed, was the elixir of youth. Were the duke able to bottle it, then he would have been far richer than he already was.

The viscount's eyes were a steel grey colour, and they surveyed the foyer with vague intrigue. Joe watched for his father's gaze, but it did not come to him.

Joe swallowed loudly, and he forced himself to take a shaky breath as he attempted to control his nerves. He was an adult now. He wasn't little anymore. He didn't need to sit on his father's knee like Ed had done. He didn't need his father's praise or affirmations. He would never receive them. He could not be disappointed by something that he did not expect.

"Your Grace, my, it has been many, many years," John greeted in a warm, jovial tone. "I wish they had been as kind to me as they have done to you."

As Adam replied something equally as friendly, a subtle whistle caught Joe's attention. His mind had been so preoccupied with controlling his anxiety that he had not allowed himself to look into the most familiar pair of brown eyes that he would ever see.

"Please allow me to present my wife, Grace, the Duchess of Ashwood," Adam introduced, putting an arm gently on Grace's waist.

"Your Grace, it is a pleasure." John took Grace's hand and bowed as he kissed her knuckles. "The duke was certainly fortunate to secure a lady as lovely as you."

Ed had not changed at all in appearance, but then perhaps he had, and it was only because Joe was used to his own reflection in the mirror that Ed appeared the same. It had been a year since Joe had seen his brother, as Ed had been the only one to visit him when it was feared that the accident might have claimed Joe's life.

Joe could not recall much detail from that time, save for mumbling that their father would have finally gotten his wish if Joe did, indeed, die.

But looking into Ed's eyes and seeing his knowing smile, Joe could see that they still did possess that power from their childhood. Ed knew exactly what Joe was thinking, and he was telling him what to do.

Breathe.

"I am seeing double," Adam remarked with considerable shock as Ed stepped out from behind their father.

Ed was dressed just as finely as their father and looked every bit the young gentleman of twenty. He smiled and nodded, before saying, "Believe it or not, Your Grace, but that is not the first time I have been told that I resemble my brother."

Adam chuckled, before he leaned around his family to find Joe. "Mr Parish, what are you doing all the way over there? You never told me that your brother was your twin. I assumed he was older!"

Joe had to make the conscious decision to move, and he found himself walking carefully over to the greeting party.

"I am older, Your Grace," Ed replied in a teasing tone, holding Joe's gaze in lieu of holding his hand. He would not break their eye contact until Joe had joined them. "Six whole minutes in fact."

"Your Grace, may I present my eldest son, the Honourable Edmund Parish," John introduced, interrupting Ed's conversation with the duke.

"You are very welcome here, Mr Parish," Grace said kindly.

"I cannot get over the shock," Adam then remarked, his eyes continuing to flick between Joe and Ed. "Stand beside each other," he instructed. "I want to see if I can tell the difference between you."

"Adam, they are not puppets," Grace hissed under her breath.

"How many identical twins have you met?" Adam retorted. "Please, humour me!" he encouraged.

When Joe did not move right away, Ed took four confident strides to stand beside him. The moment he was near, Ed hooked his arm around Joe's shoulder. In what would appear to the Beresfords as a friendly gesture between brothers, was something so much more between twins. Ed was holding Joe to the earth in that moment as his tongue entirely swelled in his mouth.

"I've got you," Ed whispered under his breath.

Adam came to stand in front of Joe and Ed. He stepped side to side, inspecting both of their faces quite intently. Joe would have felt like quite the freakshow character had it not become such a welcome distraction from his father standing mere feet from him. It helped to take away from the fact that John Parish still had not looked at Joe.

"They're exactly the same!" Adam exclaimed, inspecting them closely. "Everything is exactly the same! How challenging it must have been for you while they were growing up, Viscount." Adam turned back to look at John. "How ever did you tell them apart? How can you tell the difference between them now?"

Joe almost muttered that his deafness was a clear indicator now, but he couldn't speak.

"I don't know about Father, Your Grace, but I have always known which one of us was Joe," Ed joked, eliciting another laugh from Adam.

"I imagine you would have," Adam agreed cheerfully. "I predict that the both of you had quite the bit of fun as young boys. I am suddenly very thankful that my Perrie was not a twin. I don't think I would have coped."

"Perrie?" Ed's ears pricked up. Joe paled.

"My eldest," replied Adam, before he turned his attention back to John. "Have you any suggestions as to how we navigate this, Viscount? What are the giveaways? Does one possess a mole that the other does not? Scars? Fins? Webbed feet?"

"I have always known the difference," John murmured. "They look entirely different to me."

Adam nodded. "I suppose that comes with being their father. Alright, do forgive my rather intrusive behaviour. I promise I usually have a little more decorum than this. Allow me to introduce to you the rest of my family."

John and Ed formally met Cecily, Lily, Charlie and Alice, and they were the most gracious of gentleman to them all.

"My eldest has decided to disappear at the present moment, but you will meet Perrie very soon," Adam said apologetically before he subtly looked up onto the landing, as though Perrie might have materialised there in that moment.

She had not.

"Not to worry at all, Your Graces," John replied politely. "We certainly look forward to making the acquaintances of all your fine children."

"Do they have another daughter? Or perhaps a cousin in residence?" Ed asked Joe subtly.

Joe ought to have been honest in that moment and confessed the Perrie was their daughter, but curiosity filled him before he could be. Why did Ed ask? Joe could barely reply, "No," before plans we made for the guests to settle into their rooms.

Servants carried John and Ed's trunks up to the guest wing where they could be Joe's neighbours. Adam then began to lead his family and the Parishes on a tour of the house. The first room that he led them into was the library. Adam briefly told a story referencing his younger brother and his love for this library, before he moved the party on.

Ed, however, grabbed hold of Joe's arm, and held him back from the tour group. They both remained silent until they heard the voices disappear down the hall. As soon as they were muffled enough, Ed pulled Joe into a tight embrace.

Joe reciprocated, hugging his brother tight enough to suffocate him.

Ed pulled away from his first, but only so far as to cup Joe's face so that he could manipulate his head from side to side to inspect it. Six minutes or not, Ed was the elder brother. Ed focussed on Joe's left ear, assessing it with grave concern. "How are you?" he pressed. "You barely write, and when you do, you tell me nothing of consequence. Your ear, tell me? How is it?"

Ed was right, of course. But Joe struggled to write anything of consequence. What Ed would consider 'newsy', to Joe just seemed evidence of his own failure.

"My ear is still deaf," he murmured.

Pain was clearly etched across Ed's face as he looked upon Joe with great sympathy.

"Don't," Joe instructed. "Don't feel sorry for me."

Ed took a breath, before he nodded, though Joe could see that this conversation was not over. Nevertheless, Ed acquiesced. "Why would I? You have my good looks. What have you to be sad about?"

However pathetic his joke, Joe was grateful for it. It made him smile, and he was so glad to smile with his brother again. "I have missed you, brother."

Ed replied, once again, with, "I've got you, brother."

And then, out of nowhere, one of the heavy red drapes at the window sneezed.

Both Ed and Joe's heads snapped towards it. They clearly had not imagined it.

The sneeze was quickly followed by a groan of, "Why, Good Lord?"

Joe's eyes flared. "Perrie?"

"Perrie?" Ed emphasised.

Perrie threw back the drape in dramatic fashion and stalked out from behind it with a scowl on her face. Joe was far too shocked in that moment to worry about what Perrie had overheard. What on earth was she doing hiding behind the drapes in the library?

He had always known that she was ridiculous, but this was something else.

"Are you mad?" Joe exclaimed, before he paused, and added, "What a stupid question. Of course, you are."

"Don't you start with me," Perrie seethed. "I have had a terrible day and I will not have you and your baboonery making it worse for me!"

Perrie did not seem at all surprised to see Joe standing there with his double, which should have been an indication in itself were Joe still not so stuck on the fact that Perrie had been hiding behind the drapes. The poor housemaids.

"This is Perrie?" Ed asked with an arch of his brow and a smirk teasing at his lips.

Perrie stopped her stomping before the brothers, and she looked up at Ed, once again, without an ounce of surprise. "I do apologise again, Mr Parish. I had you confused for this one. But I should have known it was not him as your polite manners do not elicit murderous rage from within me."

That caught Joe's attention. "You've met?" he snapped a little too quickly, looking to his brother for answers.

"Not formally," Ed clarified. "But this lovely young lady happened upon me earlier today and mistook me for you, Joe. I do not think she likes you very much." He laughed to himself. "Won't you introduce us?"

Joe was entirely bewildered. How had Perrie and Ed happened upon one another? What had they said? What had Perrie said? Clearly something had been said as Ed was entirely too amused at this entire situation, and Perrie, underneath her murderous rage, was very embarrassed.

"Uh ... yes ... may I present my brother, Mr Edmund Parish. Ed, please meet the little imp –" Joe stopped himself out of habit. "Pardon me, Lady Perrie Beresford."

Perrie glared at Joe as Ed laughed heartily. Nevertheless, Ed bowed his head and Perrie curtseyed. Joe had never before seen an angry curtsey before, but there it was.

"He calls me an imp because he thinks I am short. I am in inch taller than my mother in certain lights, you know."

"I call you an imp because you are troublesome, aggravating and annoying, in addition to being short," Joe grumbled.

"You two certainly are good friends, it appears," Ed remarked in an amused tone.

Perrie ignored him. "Why did you never tell me you had a twin?" she demanded to know of Joe. "All of this could have been avoided had you simply said that your brother looked a little bit like you!"

"What could have been avoided? What happened?" Joe pressed insistently.

Perrie clamped her mouth shut and her jaw tensed. Her blue eyes were bright with anger and humiliation before she hissed, "You both must wear exactly those clothes for the remainder of your stay, Mr Parish," she told Ed. "I won't be making the same mistake again. I could not take it if I was accidentally pleasant to Joe instead of you." 

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Hope you enjoyed it!!

I have been LOVING reading your theories so far. It's so awesome to see how excited you all are for what's to come. 

But I have to say ... c'mon guys. Don't you even know me? Some of these theories don't even have a SPECK of torture in them! We've been doing this a long time, you and I. You know what I'm like. I like to take the long, treacherous road of pain and suffering. We gotta up the drama a little hehehehe

But, jokes aside, keep theorising, I love it! I love that you guys adopt these characters and love them as much as I do on their journey. You're there for them when I'm cruel, and they need that. They need your love. 

Their overlord has a sick sense of humour, after all. 

Oh, at least I make myself laugh hahahahaha

Alright, better get to sleep. My brother is training me in the morning in his gym. Chest and back day. I may die. This book may go unfinished. Your theories may have to satiate you as to what could have been. Just remember, if what you think you're imagining is the worst that could happen, dial it up. Remember how twisted I am hehe

Sayonara. Pray for my non-existent muscles which just resemble skin and bones on my chest and back hahahaha

Vote and comment!!