"We shouldn't be doing this," Camila laughs despite her statement. Lauren brushes it off, taking the girl's hand while looking both ways down the hospital halls. It was silent, a few conversations from some late-night doctors and nurses sounding from down the hall but other than that it was completely silent. Her tiny fingers took hold around Laurens as she checks the halls one last time before dragging her out of her room.

They leap and jog down the hall in quiet laughter, nothing but socks covering their wiggling toes and slipping a few times on the tile only ensuing more laughter. Of course, this had been all Lauren's idea, sneaking out of the brunette's tiny little room at night. She knew it'd make her happy. She had laughed when the girl fell or when they straightened up when passing by an open room.

They soon made it into a large hallway with snickers and whispers being exchanged. Camila gasps as they round a corner.

"What are you two up to?" Andrea grins, looking at the mischievous pair. Lauren pushes Camila forward by placing a warm on the small of her back.

"You never saw us," Lauren tells her causing light laughter before she crosses her heart with the tip of her finger. As the two travel off, Andrea looks back with curiosity, her eyes circling their closeness and the way their hands brushed as they walked. It was obvious something lingered between the two but she didn't question it for too long.

With a shush, Camila plops down into one of the wheelchairs parked against the wall as Lauren grabs the handles. As nonchalantly as two suspicious teens could, Lauren slowly pushed her down the hall. Eventually, she picks up the pace, lightly jogging to make the wheelchair move faster as they skidded and swerved down hallways and around corners. Camila was filled with laughter as she tried to keep quiet, a smile so big it hurt her cheeks.

The wheels skidded to a halt in front of an elevator and she was confused.

"Lauren?"

"Don't question my motives," she grins, but she breaks. "Okay, if you really want to know that bad... I'm taking you to the roof for some fresh air." She seemed proud of herself, Camila had other ideas. The thought made her skin crawl and her throat was automatically more dry than it already was.

"Not tonight Lauren. I-I think I just want to go back to bed," Camila gives a cough to prove her point. Confusion with equal parts of tension mixed in the air as Lauren breathed.

"Come on, it'll do you some good," Lauren tries to convince her but she shook her head slightly. Suddenly the mood had shifted. Camila stands from the wheelchair, not looking back as she begins to stride back to her room with her head down. A cough echoes through the hall as Lauren abandons the wheelchair and takes off after her. She didn't quite understand what the problem was. It was just some air.

When she arrived at the girl's room, the brunette had already formed a lump in the blankets in the middle of the mattress. She had already placed the nibs back in her nose and her hand was perched over the nurses' button as if to warn Lauren if she said anything wrong she'd make her leave. It broke her heart as she sat down on the bed next to her. She didn't move or look at her with a glance.

Lauren knew she wasn't okay, so she didn't ask.

"Did I do something wrong?" she asks instead. The words sent chills down Camila's spine because she was so caring and she didn't deserve the emerald-eyed beauty.

"You're fine. I just want to sleep..." she mumbles. She failed to mention that she was afraid to go outside. Why? Not even she knew the reason. Something about fresh air didn't seem that fresh. Everything was too off for her to feel normal, whatever normal was at this point.

"You probably have, like, a lot of school work to catch up on," she turns to look at her and that's when Lauren knew it was okay. Green eyes traveled to the sheets where she grabs the brunette's hand in her own. Instantly, she melts at the touch, the way her calloused fingertips felt against the soft back of her hand was heavenly. She shrugs, "I could just bring it here. I suck at Geometry and you could probably help me."

She smiled yet Camila didn't return it. Instead, there was a sort of sorrowful fear in her eyes. She was implying that she wanted the other girl to leave. Her pale hand clasped tighter around hers as she forced a swallow. "I'm not going anywhere, Camila. What if–"

"What if what?" she interrupts her with a gentle voice, no harshness in her tone and she sounded so tired and weak. Weak. "What if I get hurt while you're at home? What if I die while you're in school?"

"Don't." Lauren's voice, on the other hand, was stern but she soon corrected herself and spoke in a normal tone. "Don't ever say that. You're getting better and nothing bad is going to happen."

There's a pause.

Camila kisses the top of her porcelain hand before letting it go. She turns on her side to face away from the other girl again, squeezing her eyes tightly closed. "You should probably just leave." A moment of pure silence passed when the world seemed to still and listen in on their conversation.

"Everyone always does eventually," voice as light as a feather despite her torn up throat. Lauren scoffs, fine, if she wanted her to leave, that's what she'd do. The bed creaks lightly as she gets up. No goodbye. Nothing said as she leaves and as soon as the door was closed, Camila finally allowed herself to cry.

Because the girl just left? That was the only thing that gave her something to live for. Lauren was one of the few people who truly cared for her wellbeing. What was the point of sticking around if she just–

A loud curse sounded from down the hall, a few apologies mumbled by the wall, fast footsteps coming back her way. The door flew open and closed again as fast as she sat up, lightning quick.

"You know what?" Lauren asks, slightly pacing while tugging at her midnight black hair because if she wasn't mad at the girl in front of her, she didn't know what to think. "Fuck that. I say fuck THAT Camila Cabello because I am never going to leave you. I know damn well that you aren't going to leave me," she nearly commanded.

She stilled to watch the brunette, cheeks still glistening from tears that had been made only a few minutes before.

She nods frantically, "Okay."

"Promise?" She sits next to her and the doe-eyed beauty nodded before their lips crashed together with everything they had. Lips met lips, hands with hands, silent noises of agreement and promises that they both intended to keep. Between rushed kisses they promised again and again breathlessly, Camila still tastes like sorrow but if you asked Lauren, she wouldn't have cared.

-

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[ edited on july 17, 2019 ]