Lauren had thought about the meaning of her words almost all night until exhaustion took over and she finally left. She dreamt so purely out of her heart that night, chocolate orbs shining brightly in a swirl of black coffee and sugar that carried Camila's voice and so many of the things associated with the girl in the room next to hers. Morning came and she hadn't remembered the dream, a smile on her face for a completely different reason. Because today was the day she would be going to Susan's with Lucy.

"So this girl that you live with, what's that all about?" Lucy asks, folding her legs up into her side of the booth. They'd been at the cafe for a little over twenty-five minutes and the conversation was rough but then again Lauren was almost always tripping over her tongue.

"I don't know much about her. She keeps to herself most of the time. Likes to read," she shrugs, pushing the ice in her soda around her soda. Lucy perks up.

"What does she like to read?"

"Anything really. My dad bought her seventeen books when she first moved in and she'd read them all in two weeks.

Lucy wasn't really interested in the girl or what she liked to read but it was something to talk about. And Lauren could tell. She could see she was getting bored with her. The two stay in silence for a few minutes as Lauren continues to internally freak out. She didn't like her, she thought, she's not talking, she didn't like her.

"We should go to my house," she says causing Lucy to look up from her drink. "Watch a-a movie or something..." Or something. She knew she would say no. Or something? What was the 'or something'? It's not like they would do anything other than a watch a movie. That was if she would even say yes.

"Actually, I think I have to go meet my dad somewhere," it was obviously an excuse.

-

"I need you to be honest with me," Lauren storms through the front door, letting it slam closed. Her sneakers squeak through the house to the kitchen where she knew she would be. Camila was sitting criss-cross on the counter (apparently her favorite spot) with a bowl of Cheerios in her lap and she stopped mid-chew. She looked different. Her hair was messily thrown atop her head with long stands framing her face. A black shirt tucked into jean shorts and matching black converse, a red flannel loosely hanging off her shoulders. And was that makeup?

"Shoot," she speaks through a mouthful of food. Lauren throws her keys on the bar too before placing her hands on her hips while taking a breath for herself. "Am I ugly? Because I just repelled a girl without saying a single word."

And maybe that was the problem, her not saying anything. Camila raises her eyebrows, bringing another spoonful of cereal to mouth before setting it off to the side.

"Honestly?" she asks.

She nods, "Honestly."

"You're ugly as shit," she gives a nod back.

"Thank you!" Lauren points to the girl before flopping down on the living room couch. She sighs, running her hand through her hair.

But she looks back at Camila as she messes with the few remaining bits of cereal in her bowl. And why did she look so different.

"Why do you look good?" she asks.

"You're taking me to get a phone," Camila replies, hopping down from the counter top to place her bowl in the kitchen. She failed to mention how Dinah had dropped by some of her old clothes earlier.

"Is that my flannel?"

"Possibly."

"Did Dad leave money?"

"Better," Camila pulls a plastic card from her pocket with a smile.

The credit card was a symbol of more than just getting Camila a phone. Lauren knew it was basically secret code for 'take her shopping'. She knew how her father was. Even better yet, Camila was getting used to speaking to him. Her stomach twisted in knots and ropes and turns every which way every time she did speak but it was slowly starting to become a normal occurrence. Although silence filled the jeep on the ride there, Lauren wanted to ask what had happened to the boxes of things people had donated to her, the ones her father had struggled to carry in claiming that piles of books weighed down.

But she didn't.

Same as how she didn't push her when she had said "because it's not here" the statement almost permanently embedded in her mind. Lauren could practically hear the brunettes abnormal heartbeat upon pulling into the parking lot of the large department store. The girl sunk lower in her seat, shaky breaths leaving her mouth instead of her nose and Lauren put the jeep into park with her eyes still trained on the girl.

"You okay?" she asks in a voice so gentle and concerned. Camila nods while swallowing, closing her eyes to take deep breaths. She wasn't okay. Lauren knew that. Peering out the windshield, she spotted a few girls passing by, some dragging boys behind them and others laughing with the girl next to them and she put the jeep into drive.

She never really cared for name brand clothing anyway.

-

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[ edited on june 18, 2019 ]