Chapter 16:
Heart Of Stone
Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β She felt like a stone statue. The silence was fuel for her fast pulse and Bella's eyes were more intense than ever.
There were a handful of things that could be brought up, each issue would kickstart the vomit that was bubbling in her stomach. But those eyes made her feel whatever's worse than death. Red mixed in with orange tinted Bella's irises, a revelation that she was adjusting to animal blood nicely. The brown from before was kissed by fire, kissed by life and death. The resurrection of unholiness.
The red was piercing, intense, as if she could see right through Hunter and more. She never wished so badly to become the walls. But the way Bella stared made her second guess her fear. There was emotion hidden inside, confusion and disappointment sticking out the most.
But there was something in there that made her feel less worried and more relieved.
"I don't hate you." Bella prefaced. Her words came out quickly, hushed, and almost frightened. Her hands were in her lap but they struggled with one another anxiously. The anger she felt for Hunter changed her normalcy, it took over her for almost two weeks. But seeing her childhood friend for the first time in days made her weak and in need of that warm comfort again.
Hunter released quick breaths, inhaled sharply and exhaled shakily. It was a relief to hear that from Bella. She feared spending the rest of her life without her but those troubles were eased just a bit. She still had more words that needed to be heard.
Β Β "I mean don't get me wrong, I wanna hurt you in more ways than one, but I don't hate you. I don't think I ever could." Bella chuckled softly. Hunter could see the conflict stirring behind her fire eyes, the gears shifting and turning, deciding.
They both were desperately fighting off the tears that threatened to pool over. It felt like ages since they've interacted normally and the truth was they never would. Ever. They were both immortal and with that came a never ending struggle to live.
And they were struggling.
Hunter shuffled beneath her covers, her eyes wandering to the side slightly. The events of the night replayed in her head and the guilt returned like a tidal wave. Edward must've carried her back home and if Bella knew that, the boiling water would overspill quickly.
Bella shuffled too, "Edward told me everything. I mostly yelled at him and broke things but I heard everything."
Hunter could feel the cold breeze swim beside her and she shivered. It seemed to be a ghost, a flying motion that put explosives in her gut and watched her blow into smithereens. The timing was uncanny but Bella didn't notice.
Β Β "He told me how you tried to get him to tell me for so long." Bella continued, running her fingers over the comforter. Hunter watched and found herself calming down. Maybe it was the fact that she found solace in Bella's calm tone, or the way the ripples she created in the blankets looked.
Maybe it was the fact that her wedding ring was nowhere to be found. The shiny diamond ring that sparkled brilliantly in the light was gone and away. Bella had removed it and threw it over La Push cliff the day she found out.
At that point it had no purpose. Edward had promised her forever but instead she received an eternity without him.
Β Β "And when he told me that it has always been you, I couldn't bare to even think about me and you in the same room." Bella whispered.
Hunter let a single teardrop slide over. She sat as still as a spider, so still that her back ached and her feet turned numb. Her hands were the only moving one's. They shook in her lap relentlessly. "I'm so sorry." Was all she could muster.
She knew no amount of apologies could make up for betraying her best friend and she wasn't sure if Bella was still her best friend. But she had to start somewhere if they had an eternity.
Bella shook her head, "Don't."
Hunter's eyes shifted to the side again and became glazed with a glassy layer of tears. She knew this would happen months before and to know that she was right, made it hurt ten times more. But to know Bella was beyond hurt, was the icing on the cake.
Β Β "While I was dead." Bella commented, her voice cracking at the end. Hunter inhaled sharply again. That was the worst of her crimes. No explanation would be enough to justify that. The day Edward claimed himself her's and her his, all while his wife and her best friend laid inside unmoving and un-anything.
Bella sniffled and climbed further up the bed. Hunter watched, perplexed, as the newborn pulled back some of the blanket and climbed inside beside her. Her eyes were tearful much like her own, but neither of them said a word.
Hunter let her body fall back against the pillows and turned until she was facing Bella. The lights lingered on, destroying the shadows and dark corners that threatened to reach and pull them apart.
Bella reached over and with the pad of her smooth finger, brushed away a fallen tear off Hunter's cheek. "I could never hate you." She whispered again.
Β Β "I would hate me if I were you." Hunter countered. This was the closest they've been in a while. Bella could feel her warmth and relished in it, nostalgia and comfort wrapping her up tighter than the blankets.
A frown etched onto the newborn's face, "I promised you forever, right? We can't get rid of each other so easily. There's just a rough patch on us that needs healing."
Hunter wiggled her toes mindlessly as she soaked in the words. Bella could've killed her, cut her out of her life, turned everyone against her, but instead she was here with her and trying to fix things.
She felt undeserving.
___
The following morning, Bella was gone. The bed appeared untouched on the other side, cold too. Hunter had forgotten that pure vampires can't sleep, or rather they can live without it. She felt pity for them during the nights that she'd sleep. Slumber was heavenly and less creepy than waltzing around a quiet home like a ghost.
The night before had been eventful. Her heat was gone and that was the only thing she felt better about. There was no more fire swimming in her veins and an unbearable urge to release. She was inching her way back to normalcy on her hands and knees.
She was starving and still embarrassed of her actions. Which was why her hand gripped the stair's railing a little too tight on her way down. Leaving her room felt a bit easier than before but she wasn't ready for the eyes that would watch her upon her entrance.
Everyone gathered by the living room with a clear view of Hunter as she shuffled down the stairs. Charlie had stopped by with watery eyes and questions that demanded answers. His two girls had been dodging him for weeks that felt like months and here he was finding a newborn baby lodged in his daughter's arms.
The first one to notice her was Edward. His hands were shoved in the pocket of his jeans and he stood a great distance from Bella and Renesmee, who happily stayed by Charlie. His eyes were unreadable but they still made her feel better.
Even after their confessions, it felt like they were only just friends who couldn't be together. Standing on opposite sides of the rooms, yet feeling like the only two in the world.
"Hunter." Charlie spoke before he entered her line of sight. Edward's face was blocked by the flannel that always covered the Chief of Police's arms and the guilt set in. All this time she could've checked up on him or stopped by to say hello, she didn't because she was so deep in her mind, she forgot everything else existed.
Having her father figure before her felt different than it used to. He seemed paler and sad. A small smile worked onto her lips and she awkwardly waved, "Hey."
He closed the space between them and she was in his arms in seconds. His hand cradled her head to his chest, a part of him afraid that she'd disappear along with Bella forever. Truth was, he was sad. They didn't need him anymore and it hurt. He spent a big chunk of his life alone and when they returned into his life, he tried to soak up as much time as he could.
But the time slipped by so quickly.
"Are you okay? Where've you been?" He asked her as they pulled away from each other. Hunter's hands ran over her sweatpants and she sighed. There was no explanation she could give to him. She couldn't tell him anything about how she was. "Don't give me the same crap Bella gave me. I'm in the dark over here and I miss the crap outta you."
Now it was harder. The last time she told someone she cared for about the supernatural, they ended up dead and she wasn't about to take that chance with Charlie.
"I've been having some trouble with my insomnia lately and it's been hard for me to do anything so Carlisle's been helping me." The lie slipped between her lips like butter, so easy it brought tears to her eyes. Charlie has been blind to a majority of her and Bella's life just because he was human.
Charlie nodded slowly, now noticing the bags beneath her dark eyes. "You're not like Jacob, right?"
Hunter's heart skipped a beat but her face twisted with confusion, "Jacob?" Charlie wiped at his face and glanced over to the tanned boy playing with Renesmee.
"You don't turn into a huge wolf thing like him? Cause if you do, I think I'll be checking into the mental hospital." He whispered, chuckling a bit towards the end of his sentence.
She felt like screaming. Had Jacob intentionally expose himself to Charlie? Had he said anything about her? If she lied and Charlie knew the truth, it would end badly. But she couldn't spark curiosity in Charlie's mind.
"What? No. Of course not." She laughed. Charlie nodded once more and his attention slides around the room quickly. Edward had moved from the couches over to the window, where his eyes wandered mindlessly.
Hunter wanted to be alone with him again. She wanted to touch his cold skin until she herself was cold too. For so long he was always out of her reach and she away from his. Even now it felt like they couldn't have one another.
"Go talk to him." Charlie told her. Hunter snapped from her thoughts and she froze. 'How could Charlie possibly know? Was it that obvious?' She thought to herself. She had always been discreet about Edward, or at least she thought she was.
Hunter pursed her lips, "How do youβ"
"Bella told me some and Jacob said the rest." Charlie explained. There was no disappointment or disgust in his features, something she was expecting. Something she's been doing to herself. Instead he bared a warm and reassuring smile.
Charlie didn't feel happy about Edward breaking Bella's heart, but he could see the way Hunter clicked with him and it was impossible to fight that. "Go on." He egged her, lightly tapping her shoulders.
A smile began to form on her lips but it quickly fell when she found Bella's eyes. They were piercing and unreadable but it felt harsh. The guilt returned and she shook her head, "It was nice seeing you again Charlie but Iβ I have to go."
"Hunter, justβ" Charlie sighed and watched her figure disappear back up the stairs.
Hunter couldn't breathe. She couldn't think straight either. The walls were closing in on her and she would be crushed if she didn't save herself.
___
By the end of the day, Hunter had found herself in a place she never thought she'd see again. Here the grass was tall. It reached her mid-calf and cascaded softly in the wind. It had a yellow tinge to it, like fresh wheatgrass and it smelled like home.
She could smell the ocean too, the salty freshness poured from the mountains of La Push and down the forest hills, whisking in the chilled breeze that didn't seem to raise a goosebump on her skin.
Running across the treaty line and into the territory of what felt like her enemies, gave her a rush like no other. Her task was not to fight, but to find answers. Not from the alpha, but from the lone wolf who locks himself in the shed and repairs bikes.
She made her way to the red house unseen and undetected. It seemed like no one was home but she knew that wasn't the truth. Jacob was inside with tools surrounding him and a dirt bike in front of him, just as she imagined.
The amount of times she's had some sort of falling out with Jacob was too much to count on both her hands. But this time, she couldn't seem to figure out why they were having one now. She hadn't done anything to him, and he hasn't done anything to her.
They spent some time together when Bella and Edward were gone, and they connected on many levels. But now it felt like their entire lives together didn't matter anymore, like it didn't exist.
Β Β "Will you ever be bored of this?" Hunter asked. She managed to slip through the shed doors quietly and frighten Jacob.
He stopped working and let a soft laugh escape, "Uh, I don't think so. It helps take my mind off things." Hunter walked further into the shed, ignoring the way he tensed. She wanted to understand why he grew uncomfortable upon her arrival, why he shared brief interactions with her before disappearing.
She stopped on the other side of the bike and finally met his eyes, "Off of things like me?" Her question caught him by surprise, anyone could see that. It made his blood run cold and his knees grow weak.
Before he could topple over, he stood upright and dropped his tool. "Why would I need to do that?" He answered her question with a question and Hunter refrained from tossing his bike out the door.
He was still avoiding her, even when they were face to face. "You've been avoiding me Jake. Ever since Bellaβ died." Hunter told him.
The look on his face told her, she was right. It was like he detached himself from her life completely, slowly and desperately wanting to become nothing but a memory. She had no idea why.
Β Β "I have not-"
Β Β "Yes! Yes you have!" She yelled angrily. "You've been acting like I'm some- some parasite or something. Ever since- ever since-"
Her sentence trailed off into a whisper, pieces of her memory piecing together like missing puzzle pieces. Jacob did start ignoring her when Bella died, but not because she did anything, but because he imprinted on Renesmee.
Jacob noticed her realization. He released a breath and tossed his tool back into the box, "Listen, I'm not intentionally ignoring you. Think of it as me moving on from you."
"Moving on includes eradicating our friendship?" Hunter questioned angrily. Her arms quickly crossed with one another while her glare hardened.
"Well- no. I mean- I don't know, okay!" Jacob yelled. After rubbing the grease from his hands he tossed the filthy rag aside, his own anger boiling up.
Hunter watched him pace the shed, not an ounce of regret flooding her. In fact, his anger only made her even angrier. She wasn't going to apologize for him dumping their friendship in the mud.
Jacob felt stuck. He had imprinted on his best friend's newborn baby for one reason and now it was proving to be a bad reason. One that would worsen things once he explained it.
"Why did you imprint on Bella's baby?" Hunter challenged.
Saying that out loud felt different. She had spent little to no time pondering on Jacob's actions that having it out in the air made her feel a bit more concerned.
Jacob twisted back around, his eyes boring into her own. She could see the defense rise back onto his face, it was uncanny how she could distinct his expressions now. His hands raise a bit, "It's not what you think. There's no romance, just a protection thing."
"Why did you do it, Jake." She asked again, her voice low and scrutinizing. The truth was about to spill over, she could feel it. She didn't know if she was prepared to hear it, but she needed to know why he has been avoiding her.
He was upset still, more so because he was remembering why he did it. "I did it because I was desperate." Hunter scoffed. In her opinion, Jacob was always desperate. His attempts to find love with her and Bella were ridiculous. But this time around, it didn't seem like that was the real reason.
"So desperate to find love that you imprint on a baby? So you'll always have someone who loves you?" She questioned with a giggle in between her words.
Jacob huffed.
"Even if that reason was true, it doesn't explain why you've been ignoring me." Hunter added, pacing beside the dirt bike. She couldn't decode Jacob's words. Every sentence he spoke left her with more questions than the last.
The silence of the shed made her blood as cold as the autumn breeze that flew between the doors. Her hand caressed her arm in thought. The cloudy afternoon reminded her of a couple of things; the day she moved to Forks, how hungry she was, and her father's death.
The three things had nothing in common, but they were all causing her severe anguish. With Jacob's lack of response, she felt at a crossroads with her sanity.
Physically, it wouldn't be hard to sink her teeth into Jacob's neck and collapse into herself. But mentally, she had no idea if she could come back from that frenzy. The fact that she was even considering it made her sick.
That's who she has become now, deciding with her anger and hunger.
"Are you gonna answer me? Or are you going to stand there like an imbecile?" Hunter snapped. The way she halted her movements made her leather jacket rub together, creating a sound that satisfied her ears. It was a crunchy type of sound, like a boot stepping out into fresh snow.
"Why are you being so rude?" Jacob asked, his voice loud with disbelief and annoyance. If he had known she would come here to argue with him, he would've told her the truth as soon as it happened.
Hunter huffed, "Because you're not telling me! And if you won't give me a clear answer, then I'll just make one up myself-"
"I did it because you love Edward!" Jacob yelled. His foot connected with the tool box, and the sound of metal clanging made Hunter flinch but not as much as his answer did. She wasn't prepared for the truth.
"The day we found out about Bella's pregnancy, I could hear you guys talking right outside. It was like I could see it or- or feel it even." Jacob explained, his voice at a normal level. Hunter could see his pained expression from across the shed, the way his forehead creased more and more.
She stood in silence, unable to form any response for him. That was the day after they had connected in a sacred way. The night she had given into her wants and he to his love for her. She knew that would've been a mistake.
"Seeing Bella dying and hearing you love someone else made me feel like dying." He added. He finally looked up at her with a frown. She was still as beautiful as ever. Her short hair framing her face and complimenting her fair skin. But he shook his head and turned away.
None of it mattered. From his burning crush for her, to her captivating eyes. He had Renesmee now, someone to take care of. "I imprinted because I couldn't fight for you or Bella anymore. I wanted to fight for myself, for my happiness."
Hunter nodded slowly, "I'm sorry Jake. I really am."
"No need. You told me that you'll never love me the way I love you." He quickly replied, bending down to the tools. He felt defeated. The imprint and the ignoring, it had all been for healing. But he still felt stuck and miserable.
Hunter, on the other hand, felt embarrassed. She toyed with Jacob's feelings for her and stabbed him in the back. Sure, she clarified her feelings for him, but it didn't make it any less wrong.
"I don't want to stop being your friend." She whispered, bending down across from him.
Jacob peered up at her and tried his best to hide his smile, "Neither do I."
They both picked up the tools one by one, too afraid to touch out of fear of hurting the other. With small smiles threatening to show, the burning anger inside diminished and was replaced with relief.