Chapter 6:
Drown Me Slowly

A breeze flew by and she shivered. It was mid-August but the wind felt a bit different, more direct. The trees rustled relentlessly and Hunter shot up from her slumber. Her eyes peeled open and she wasn't in the spare room the Cullen's gave her. She was outside in the middle of the woods. Naked.

Her hand flew up to her head and she groaned, feeling a massive headache approaching her. She had no idea what happened. All she remembered was hiting the bed and falling asleep, though it seems she had other plans.

Something soft hit the side of her face and she glanced down, finding clothes in her lap. A gasp left her lips and she covered her private's. "Get dressed." She glanced up and found Paul standing a few feet away from her, his eyes shamelessly staring at her. "You'll want to see this."

The younger boy ran away, leaving her to complete her small task. The frown on her face deepened and she examined the clothes. A pair of blue jeans that weren't her's, a black shirt, and one of Jacob's hoodies. But she didn't complain as she shimmied into the clothes.

Her bare feet padded against the woodland floors, her eyes minding where she stepped to avoid an injury. She followed the scent of Paul's and tried to piece together the events of last night. She had no idea how she ended up naked in the middle of nowhere with no memory.

Though her questions were about to be answered. She approached what used to be a campsite. The fire was burned out and tents still lingered. Though instead of campers, it was the Quileute pack standing around.

Her eyebrow quipped up and she came to a stop, "What happened?" Jacob's eyes flew to her's and he sent her a saddened look. They all shared a similar look apart from Leah, who was one step away from trying to kill her.

   "You went rabid last night." Embry spoke up. Her face relaxed and she moved closer to them all, hoping not to find what she was imagining in her head. Though the smell of burning flesh and dried blood confirmed it all.

Sam zipped open a tent and exposed the four dead bodies of random campers, mangled and drained of all their guts. Hunter gulped and looked away, her shameful eyes falling onto the chared firewood.
"Carlisle called us in the middle of the night to let us know you ran away. He said you transformed in your bedroom before crashing out the window." The alpha explained, closing the tent back up.

   "We tracked your scent all over town, but when we found you here, it was too late." Jacob added, crossing the site to stand by her. If it were anyone else, he would be livid and disgusted, but it was Hunter and she needed help.

   "You definitely put up a fight but Paul was able to knock you out." Seth laughed, pushing the older werewolf playfully. Hunter's eyes dragged over to the boy she bit yesterday and he sent her a smirk, "Now we're even."

She shuffled uncomfortably, not understanding how they were okay with her still standing before them. If it were anyone else, they would've tracked her down and killed her. What she did was unforgivable. She didn't even know she was doing it which was worse and extremely frustrating. "I did this." She whispered, no longer bothered by Leah's stares of disgust.

She was a monster, a beast even. She commited murder.

   "Don't worry. We got a cover story." Jacob told her soothingly. On cue, the tents went up in a blaze, the fabric burning quickly. None of it made her feel better however. Those people had families who they'd never see again because of her. She was everything her mother made her believe she was.

What made her feel even worse, was that there was a slimmer of excitement in her, a rush of power that she wanted to feel again. "I'm sorry." She told them all before walking away. She couldn't stand to stay there and watch the bodies burn.

   "You're soul is like mine, child."

"This is what would happen if you lost control."

"You're better than this, Hunter."

The voices swarmed in her head loudly, as if they were right behind her, screaming and crying. She could remember the nightmares she used to have, the bodies of her loved ones left just like the ones she killed last night. The battle cries and the roars, the blood and the sickening snap of Winston's neck. She even heard a gunshot, the one that killed her dad.

Her hands held her head as she stomped through the woods, wishing and begging for the sounds to end. Her eyes shut and the sounds changed to images. They flashed in and out as quickly as possible, itching to bring out the worst emotions in her.

She grunted as she bumped into a tree, the loud scream of Bella entering her ears. This had to have been some sort of panic attack. She was losing her mind all over again.

"You might be physically strong, but you're weak everywhere else." Sam's voice broke her free from her mind and she stopped walking. Her chest filled in and out with air but she was finding it harder and harder to breath. "Being apart of the pack will strengthen your mentality, it'll keep the bad things out."

Hunter sensed the rest of the group join them and she stayed still, with her back to them. "My bad things will never go away." She said with gritted teeth.

"It won't affect you as much." Jacob said, entering her view. He stood in front of her, a small smile on his face. He wanted her to be okay again, and he was loving this extra time he got to have with her, even if the rest of his pack was with them. "Sure there's triggers, but you'll learn to control it."

She lightly shook her head. Searing pain flared up in her gums and just like that, her hunger returned. That was how easy it was for a vampire to succumb to the blood lust, to fall prey under their own needs. She couldn't fight it no matter how hard she tried. "That's the thing Jacob, I can't control it. I'm always hungry, like right now. I can hear your arteries, pumping your blood. A-and the thoughts, they don't go away. When I close my eyes, I see it happening over and over again. Every kill, every death, every nightmare."

Jacob grabbed her face softly with his hands and shushed her. The darkness in her eyes was missing and he could see how vulnerable she was. She relied too much on blood and it was changing her.
"You have to trust that we can help you. I can help you."

She blinked away the tears and nodded sheepishly. Jacob seemed hell bent on supporting her 'recovery' and she appreciated that. He did what she has not done for him in the past, be there.

"Let's get back to the Rez." Sam ordered, ushering the pack to follow him into the trees. Hunter pulled Jacob's hands off her face and she smiled at him, "Thank you Jake, for not disowning me as a friend."

Jacob stared deeply into her eyes, finding his own reflection in her brown irises. Just looking at her, he could feel himself falling deeper for her. He would do anything for her, no matter the cost. "I would never abandon you." He told her honestly.

Hunter nodded and grabbed a hold of his hand, "Let's go." The gesture was kind and friendly but Jacob couldn't help but grow warm and flustered.

He let her guide them through the forest, his eyes glued to their hands the entire time with his heart pounding for her and her only.

___

On the reservation, you could always feel the ocean breeze flowing in from La Push. Hunter loved it. The way her hair blew wildly and the salty smell lingered in with the fresh grass. Though today, she couldn't find space in her mind to enjoy it.

She sat on the ground with her chin in her hands and her fingers brushing through the growing greens beneath her. It reminded her of the field her lover used to take her to. It was always quiet and soft, the perfect place to relax in.

It used to make her happy.

Over by the house, a majority of the pack discussed things. Things she could hear but pretended not to. They were debating if she was a necessary addition to the pack, if she was too reckless or in need of help.

"She needs help." Jacob would advocate.

"She's in too deep to be saved." Leah retorted.

Hunter would've defended herself, but she feared the older woman was right. She couldn't go an hour without thinking of the thick crimson liquid that she consumed. Thinking of gaining control of her hunger seemed impossible. She didn't need to place the responsibility of her actions on the hands of people who had their own lives to maintain.

"Hunter." It was Sam. She glanced up to find him taking a seat right across from her, something he used to do when they would train together. Those days were over as well. "We voted and a majority wants you in."

She plucked at the grass and squinted, the blue sky beginning to be too bright for her. "What's in it for me? Being in the pack I mean." Sam watched her, sympathy swimming in his heart. The way she looked, it was like he could see her pain. She hid behind anger a lot, acting like she was strong. But it was obvious she was hurting.

"Well, you'll be stronger, you can communicate with us easier, and we hope that your hunger would subside. Since we're alive to protect humans, maybe that'll keep you from killing them." Sam explained.

Hunter nodded, finding interest in the last perk. She hated knowing that she killed innocents and got away with it. Yesterday, she was against the idea. But after seeing those bodies torn apart, she couldn't feel anything but demented. "What do I have to do?"

Sam inhaled. He wasn't expecting her to give in so easily. But by the way her body slouched and her eyes never met his, she felt as if she had no choice. "At night, we go to La Push. I'll tell you what's next then."

Hunter didn't have time to respond as he got up and already walked away from her. She stayed down on the ground, her eyes glued to her feet. She wondered what Bella would think of her now. To know that she was a murderer. The human girl probably wasn't thinking about her at all. She was enjoying her honeymoon with Edward. Edward.

She nearly forgot about the mind reading vampire. She only hoped he was treating Bella well and telling her about his secret love for her. She so badly hoped he was. He would no doubt be disappointed in her after what she's done.

"Be disappointed in you for what?" His voice entered her ears, soft and deep like always. Her head snapped up and she found his ghostly figure sitting before her, his skin shimmering in the sunlight.

Hunter stared at him, unmoving. She had forgotten that he could enter her mind when she let him. When she wanted him to hear her. She did want him. She needed his help terribly. But finding his piercing yellow eyes, her mouth ran dry and she could only think of how captivating they truly were.

"Hi." She whispered, biting back the smile that she wanted to show. Edward smiled though, a soft chuckle slipping through, "I think your eyes are pretty too."

Hunter stiffened. All she could do was stare. It's been so long since she's seen him like this, alone and transparent. Her thoughts were open but she didn't care. Her stomach swirled with an unknown feeling and she couldn't tell if it was a good thing or not.
"You're still in Forks." He observed, relief in his voice.

Her hands fold in her lap and she nodded. "I think I'll stick around for a while." She mumbled, her eyes traveling over to Jacob who wrestled around with the other boys.

"I'm glad you made that decision." Edward replied before his body shimmered away. She pushed him out of her thoughts, afraid that he'd find what she's hiding. When the golden flakes disappeared into the air, she let out a shaky breath.

He consumed her more than she thought.

___

Night came quickly and Hunter found herself growing fearful of what was in store for her. She sluggishly followed the pack through the woods and up the cliff she killed Bethany at. Seeing the site put more weight onto her shoulders but thankfully, no one knew about the blonde woman she brutally murdered.

She kept her hand in Jacob's, squeezing it every few minutes just to make sure she wasn't dreaming. She watched them build a fire, the orange blazes creating shadows that weren't scarier than her in the slightest.

Sam explained the process on the way up, letting her know that this was the first time they were doing this. The rest of the members joined the pack instantly, no rituals being needed. But she was separated from them for a long time. So long that she was almost considered an outsider.

The ritual was necessary.

Sam would have to cut into everyone's hand, his included, and let the flames engulf the droplets. Then he would have to cut into her arm and trace a pattern that would heal into a tattoo after it was over. Finally, she would have to place her hand in the fire and let the blood of the pack seep into her before free falling off the cliff and into the ocean, where she would be reborn.

It was a lot but Hunter didn't care. It needed to be done. "You don't have to do this." Jacob whispered to her, watching Sam burn the metal blade in the raging fire.

   "I do. I can't fight this hunger Jacob. Last night was just the beginning, who's to say I won't do it again? To you guys? Charlie? I can't risk it." She told him. Jacob just nodded understanding her reasoning. He just didn't want to watch her in pain.

The moon was full and bright, a sight that made Hunter shiver. She could hear the waves pounding down below, the salty breeze hitting her nose gently. Normally she would've found bliss in this moment.

"Just know that I'm here for you." Jacob added, watching her intently, searching for any sign of regret. "If you wanna back out, I won't stop you."

She nodded fearfully, though it wasn't Jacob's words that scared her. It was what would happen afterwards. Would she have to stay in Forks forever? Protecting the town from creatures like her? That wasn't how she pictured her life to be at all.

"Ready?" Sam asked her from the other side of the flames. Hunter gulped and nodded, squeezing Jacob's hand before releasing it. The closer she got to the fire, the slower time went by. She could hear her own heart beat, feel pressure building up in her stomach. She was afraid, but it must be done.

"Hunter, don't do this." It was Edward again, but she didn't see him anywhere. It was her own mind trying to trick her, to give her a reason as to why she shouldn't do this. But she was already across from Sam and her eyes glossed over with determination.

Sam took the blade out from the fire and his eyes met her's. The pack surrounded them in a perfect circle, each of them afraid as well. None of them knew if this would even work. "Tonight, we are gathered to let Hunter into the pack." Sam started, signaling Jared to come over. "We start with joining our blood in the fire, a pack's bond."

"The blood of the betas." Jared held out his hand and winced as the hot blade sliced into his skin, his blood trickling down into the fire. Hunter remained still, watching the process repeat itself until it was Jacob's turn. He stood beside Sam, his eyes boring into her own. She could tell he was unsure of this, so she sent him a nod. This is what she wanted.

Jacob didn't flinch once as Sam sliced into his palm. That pain was minor compared to what she'll have to go through. It'd be then when he'd wince.

"The blood of an alpha." Sam announced before slicing his own hand. The fire roared and grew larger, the once orange tint turning red like blood. Hunter gasped at the sight, it was working. Sam rounded the fire, nodding to her. It was her turn now. "Now, for the tracing."

Hunter pulled off Jacob's hoodie and rolled up her sleeve, revealing her arm. She remembered briefly that she would feel small pain in the upper reigon of her arm whenever the wolves were around. Maybe that was her body reacting to the pack, something she needed to be apart of. "Do you, Hunter Reed, accept your place in this pack as my beta?"

"I do." She answered. Her breathing picked up drastically, anticipation scratching at her. Sam stood behind her at a distance, "After you are reborn, you will feel a great increase in strength, more than normal because you are a hybrid. You will also feel a mental connection to the rest of us and a greater sense of control. Do you accept that?"

She nodded, "Yes." Sam shared a look with Jacob, seeing the fear in the boys eyes. Sam was afraid as well. If it worked, Hunter would become the strongest being to exist. She could be a danger to the world and he wasn't sure if he would be able to stop her if the time came. But if it didn't work, she'd continue rampaging the entire town.

Ignoring his thoughts, he got closer to her before gently grabbing her arm and raising the blade to her skin. She inhaled sharply and closed her eyes, awaiting the searing pain to come. "Are you sure you want to do this?" Sam asked her softly.

With her gut screaming no, she nodded. Sam took a deep breath before he cut into her skin, beginning to trace the same tattoo they all bared. Hunter bit her lip and squeezed in all her screams. The pain increased with every dragging step almost in sync with the still growing fire.

Everyone watched on, cringing at the blood that leaked relentlessly from her wounds and wincing everytime she whimpered. Jacob pulled at his hair and silently pleaded for it to be over already.

Sam struggled as her bloody muscle quivered underneath the blade. There was a lot and he feared that this was too much for her but he was almost finished. Tears poured from her eyes and down her blotchy red cheeks. She's felt pain worse than this but it still hurt a great deal.

Her consciousness was ebbed, dull blackness swirling around the edges of her mind. If the pain escalated, she'd pass out, no doubt disrupting the ritual. "Sam." She choked out, her legs wobbling beneath the pressure.

He could see her eyes lolling to the back of her head and he huffed, "Jacob, hold her!" He ran over instinctively and held her upright, giving Sam a better angle to continue the tracing. He was nearly done. "Stay with me Hunter." He pleaded, concentrated on the last few designs.

Jacob felt her weight drop onto his chest, her body giving out. "Sam!" He warned, feeling his breathing rate speed up. Hunter could hear them struggling but she couldn't stand up on her own anymore.

It felt as if something or someone was pressing on her heart, keeping it from beating. The black edges on her eyes continued to grow, itching to cover her whole and submerge her into unconsciousness.

   "Is she dying?" Seth called out, panic well known in his tone. Hunter's eyes were opening and closing slowly, her body searching for anything to keep her awake. But all she felt was agony. "Sam, if you take too long she'll start to heal. It won't work." Jacob told him.

Sam grunted and slid the blade out the broken skin. He was done. He sent a pointed look at Jacob and held the blade over the fire, letting Hunter's blood slip off slowly. "The tracing is complete!" Sam's voice bellowed over the raging flames. "Now the blood of the pack must find it's way into Hunter, cementing her connection to the rest of us."

Jacob gently guided her to the ground, the bad part finally over. "Come on, stay with me. We're almost done." He whispered to her limp body. Hunter's eyes blinked open and she eyed her bloodied arm. The mark was there and she smiled, "I did it."

Jacob rubbed her back soothingly, "The bad part is over, but this is the worst." He warned her. She eyed the red fire and dread quickly filled her.

   "This is the last painful thing you'd have to endure." Sam told her. His attempts at relaxing her nerves failed and she shivered, still feeling weak and groggy.

She sat there for a few seconds mindlessly. The main thing that held her back was the pain. It was fear of the pain. In the beginning, it seemed so easy. Like she'd be done faster than they started and she would be cheered on by everyone else. She was supposed to be strong. But staring at everyone's patient eyes and feeling her bones shake restlessly, it terrified her.

The more she thought about running away or moving at all, the more afraid and discouraged she grew. "Don't do this." Edward's voice filled her ears and she found him, his body lingering beside Sam's. "You don't have to feel any pain with my help."

Her jaw clenched tightly. Edward didn't know what she was going through, her hunger was agonizing and stronger than her. He couldn't help her even if he tried. She'd be enduring more pain with him than without. "Don't tether yourself to these people. I can give you more than they can." His voice was sharp and angry, determined and anxious.

Hearing those words fall from his lips angered her because she knew he was solely speaking about Jacob. He hated that she'd be apart of him and he apart of her. She peeled her angry eyes open and glared holes into the ghostly figure before raising her hand and slapping it into the fire.

Edward couldn't give her more. She didn't want anything from him. She was not his and he was not her's. Everyone stared at her in shock, she wasn't reacting to the fire licking at her skin. She didn't even wince once.

His hurt eyes was the last thing she saw before he disintegrated into dust, leaving her mind. Her eyes faulted a bit but she didn't dwell on the short period of pain. She looked away from the spot he stood and watched her arm. It was unharmed, her skin didn't burn away or darken. She didn't even feel any pain like everyone anticipated.

Her eyes widen at the trails of blood swimming up her arm. It was working. Chuckles of relief flew from everyone's mouth but she remained silent. She thought it'd feel different but all that was there was a tickle, like the tinest bug was crawling up her arm. As the pack's blood neared her trace, her own blood slid off like water, clearing a path for the ritual to continue.

The crimson liquid seeped into her wounds and her irregular breaths returned. She would no longer be independent after this and she didn't know how to grasp that. In an instant, the fire shrunk to a normal size and the red color was gone. "The connection is complete." Sam voiced, a proud grin on his face.

Hunter shakily got onto her feet, ignoring Jacob's helping hands. "That's it?" She asked, her voice raw from being mute for so long.

"No. The final step is over there." Sam pointed to the edge of the cliff and Hunter inhaled deeply. She forgot all about the cliff diving part, though this time it wasn't for fun. She had to stay underwater until she fell unconscious. One of them would rescue her and she would awake with the tattoo on her arm. She'd be apart of the pack.

Without a fight, she walked over to the cliff with slumped shoulders. "I'll get you, okay?" Jacob told her softly, releasing her hand once she nodded. He stood back a few steps and clenched his jaw. Hunter was unlucky and he wished she wasn't. None of them had to go through with this, but now he wished they did.

Hunter closed her eyes before she lifted her foot off the cliff and let herself fall. Time seemed to slow down instantly. The wind hit her face and blew her hair back, clogging her nose and making it harder to breathe. The pressure was so strong she couldn't even open her eyes to watch the night sky one last time.

Her limbs stay pinned in the air before she twists and let her feet hit the water first. She was engulfed with the cold seawater and whisked underneath. Her arms and legs flare around frantically, desperate for her to receive oxygen. But she remembered she couldn't. She relaxed and flipped her eyes open.

The salty water burned her eyes but she didn't care. Everything was dark and blurry, airless and wet. She could feel herself sinking deeper and deeper the more relaxed she became. A sense of anguish, more so than pain, had taken rule of her heart, and she was extremely light-headed.

Every cell in her body was aching for air, begging for someone to come whisk her from the bottomless depths of the ocean, but no one came. No one was coming until she was out like a light.

She's only been underwater for this long in a pool, with her feet planted on the ground and a smile on her face, competing for who stayed beneath the surface longer. It felt nothing like this. Then, it was an excited panic, a feeling of wanting to accomplish the task. She could've lifted her head inches up and she would've been welcomed with sweet air.

Now, her lungs burned like the worst house fire. It felt like she was being told not to breathe, not to think, not to let her heart beat. But she had to. She was aching for it. And just like the heart must go on her lungs will inhale whether it is air or salty water.

She held her breath for as long as she could. Red and black splotches danced in front of her and she couldn't remember if her eyes were opened or closed.

But there was a face that she could see, a face she knew well. He was there with her, watching her sink deeper and deeper. His expression pained her more than the pounding in her head and it made her feel guilty.

However, none of this was for him.

She released the last of her breath and it spiraled upwards in bubbles, reaching the surface she so badly wanted to reach.

A coolness entered her lungs and she knew she was losing. Her chest concaved in and out as the water rushed in like a waterfall. Though her body was cold, it was engulfed in warmth and darkness, even the tips of her fridged toes.

Despite the pain she was enduring, she felt at ease to know that she wasn't cold anymore. Her heart was beating rapidly in panic, shouting at her to swim back up. It wasn't until the redness disappeared and everything went black that she let go.

Now she was drifting down to the floor, her body cascading through a bed of dancing seaweed. The ritual was complete. She was being reborn.

And in the minutes it took her to pass out, all she could think about was blood.