Chapter 16: Missing

After a few hours, you realized Bill and Will weren't going to come home anytime soon.  You made up your mind to go out and search for them, no matter if you had to scour the entire town from top to bottom.


It's possible they could be hiding in the Mindscape, you thought to yourself, but searching the town is worth a try.  The Weirdness Barrier won't let them leave Reverse Falls, so they can't have gone far.


It was almost 1 A.M.  You picked up a flashlight and your trusty grappling hook, and left your apartment with determination.


Four hours later, your determination had waned somewhat.  You had searched every dark alley and parking lot, even climbing up the water tower, but your wayward demons were nowhere to be found.  The sky was starting to brighten and you were exhausted.


You collapsed on a park bench, dejected.  If I were them, where would I go?  You couldn't come up with anything.


Your mind drifted to the events of a few hours ago.  Bill was angry... He probably fled to the Mindscape.  I won't be able to find him by searching on foot.  But Will... why did he suddenly run away?


You tried to piece together the sequence of events that had led to this.   Bill rescued us from the Stans... then they destroyed my kitchen...  Will and I took a nap...  As soon as I woke up, Bill attacked me.  He basically confessed his feelings for me... I guess "obsessive" counts as a feeling.  He kissed me... And then Will flipped out.  Why would that bother him so much?  He said something like "no one could ever love me..."  Why would he say that?


...OH.


Your head slumped into your hands.  "I'm such an idiot..."


Of COURSE Will has feelings for me.  Why didn't I notice?  Right.  Because I'm awkward in social situations.  Why couldn't I have just lived alone like I wanted to?


Overwhelmed by exhaustion, emotion, and the stress of exertion not long after your near-death experience, you started to cry.  Crying made you think of Will, all alone somewhere, which made you feel worse, which made you cry harder.  In the cold predawn light, you let out the grief and weakness you'd been holding back since the moment you killed Mabel.  You'd had to be strong for Will since then, but he wasn't here right now.


You couldn't contain your sobbing.  Is this how Will feels all the time?  I'm such a horrible person.  I need to find him... I need to tell him he's strong too and that it's okay to feel weak once in a while... that he's not a lost cause like Dipper and Mabel made him believe...


The force of your realization made you gasp.  You jumped to your feet, tears cutting off abruptly. 


I know where he is.


You sprinted out of the park, exhaustion forgotten, as you turned down the road leading to the Tent of Telepathy.


The stone courtyard where the tent had once stood was deserted.  The tent was gone, presumably removed by the Stans or the police, and there was one lonely car left at the far edge of the lot.  It didn't look like it had been moved in quite some time.


You searched the courtyard carefully, scanning the flagstones for the iron trapdoor leading to the basement.  The tent was magically expanded, but the basement wasn't part of the tent, right?  It should still be here.


You breathed a sigh of relief when you noticed the trapdoor, camouflaged in the floor.  You heaved it open, heedless of the screech of rusty metal, and hurled yourself down the ladder.  You shined your flashlight down the dark hallway.


"Will!" you called, your voice echoing.  "Are you down here?"


There was no answer.  You made your way to the end of the hall, where the triangular portal still sat.  You observed the wreckage with your flashlight.  The portal was obviously broken beyond repair, bits and pieces strewn everywhere, the consoles showing signs of electrical shortage.


"Will!" you shouted again, checking every dark corner.  You spotted a dark shape behind the portal.  As you moved closer, you saw that it was Will, curled into a tiny ball and shaking like a leaf.  You crouched next to him.


"Will?"


"G-g-go away."


"I won't do that.  No matter what you might think, you don't deserve this."


"Yes I do.  I'm n-nothing but a useless w-waste of space and no one will ever c-care what happens to me."


"Don't say that, Will.  I care about you.  I searched this town for hours for you."


"You d-don't really care!" he wailed.  "No one ever w-will!"


You found yourself at a loss.  What do I do?  I can't force him to believe me.  Is he so far down this rabbit hole of self-loathing that it's not possible to pull him out?


You shook your head firmly, forcing the thought away.  There's no way I'm giving up on him.  I'll save him, no matter what.


"I do care, and I'll prove it."  You grabbed him by the arm, ignoring the way he flinched away from you, heaving him upright until you were face-to-face.  You stared down his eye firmly, making sure you had his attention, and then you kissed him gently. 


He froze in shock and pulled away after a moment, eye filling up with fresh tears.  You brushed them away with your thumb, ignoring the acid burn, and gathered him into your arms.  He started to cry harder.


You sighed heavily.  "Oh, for Pete's sake, what am I going to do with you?"


He pulled away, starting to apologize, but you ruffled his hair affectionately.  "I meant that in a good way.  Bill, too.  You may both be insane demons, but you're my demons."  I have no idea how I'm going to sort this out, but let no one say I'm not evenhanded with these two at least. That makes up for Bill's kiss, I hope.


You held on to him, rubbing his back gently, waiting patiently for him to stop crying.  As soon as his sobs quieted, you gave him a moment to calm his breathing, then pulled him to his feet.  "Can you teleport us home?  I daresay you've had enough of this musty basement to last a lifetime."


He nodded fervently and in an instant, you were back in your own apartment.  You heaved a sigh of exhaustion and relief, collapsing onto the couch and pulling Will with you.  He nestled into your arms and you tucked your chin into his hair, feeling his breath hitch from the tears that hadn't quite stopped yet.


"I searched for you all night," you whispered to him.


"I'm s-sorry," he mumbled back.


You kissed the back of his head.  "If you need me to prove I care, then I won't resent you for it.  Just don't make me worry about you like this again, okay?"


"But what about B-bill?"


"I care about Bill, too."


"B-but he hurt you!" Will cried, starting to turn to face you.  You shushed him gently, tightening your grip.


"You hurt me too, by running away and making me worry."  He looked horrified and started to apologize, but you shushed him again.  "Bill's just confused.  But he's hiding in the Mindscape, and I need time to think about how to talk him into coming home.  Don't worry about him right now, okay?  My first priority was getting you home safe."


He hesitated, then nodded and relaxed, leaning against you again.  You were starving, but your kitchen was still ruined, so you'd have to deal with food later.  Right now, the toll of searching all night was beginning to sink in.  You buried your face in Will's hair, half-asleep already.


"Don't go anywhere, okay?" you mumbled. 


"N-never again," you heard him promise, and then you were asleep.

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