TW: d3ad bodies, descriptions of corpses
It took an hour of deliberation, but they found an isolated valley just past the closest village that would be safe enough to set off the object of power. It was a day's ride out. If they left immediately and made no breaks, not even to gather weapons or food, they would be able to make it in time to avoid Leinos' estimated time of the curse reaching the city.
They came to the silent agreement that Tigris would ride with the object of power. It probably made sense to have Roche carry it, considering that she had passed the test, but Tigris didn't want the burden of the object's power to be placed on anyone else. She'd carefully explained how volatile it could be, how it could enact the user's will instantly. She'd made the executive decision to carry Roche's satchel, letting the barrier of the thin leather hold her fears at bay.
She rolled her shoulders back. She was a knight. And the heir to the throne over all. She was used to holding the power of life and death, of impossible choices in her hand. She had to trust that she could keep her mind strong enough to hold any disasters at bay.
There was another reason, of course.
You now know the curse this object brings. Let it guide you. Do not fail us again. The librarian had intoned. Tigris kept her face nonchalant as she mounted her horse, a skill perfected by years spent serving in court.
Her heart ached for her father, almost childishly. Good gods, father. Is this what you deal with every day? All alone, a crown atop your head, with the power to raze the world in your hands.
How do you stay sane?
How are you not a monster?
Tigris kept her gaze straight ahead. If anything, her respect for her father had skyrocketed. It was a pity she wouldn't be around to apologise for her inexperienced, brash remarks from earlier.
-------
They rode into the village as the sun set. The air was still, like the world was holding its breath.
They stopped at the edge of the courtyard. There was a crunch as Roche's horse accidentally trampled the first body.
Roche made a choked sound. Tigris couldn't muster any emotion apart from weariness as she stared out into the sea of bodies. They were fresh, newly felled. Their eyes were glassy, faces twisted with various expressions of horror. Tigris felt nothing but numbness as she noticed a child sized hand sticking out of the pile.
"What happened here?" Roche gasped, sounding faint.
"The curse," Tigris answered, her voice sounding hollow to her own ears, "It's passed through here."
"Are we at risk of catching it?" Finn asked, his voice warbling. Roche frowned at him.
"Probably not. We have the source of illness with us. It can be used to protect us." she answered.
"NO!" Tigris blurted out before she could stop herself. Roche nearly fell out of her saddle in surprise, her warm, doe-like eyes wide with fear. Tigris winced. "I mean... we probably shouldn't risk using it."
Roche nodded hesitantly. They lifted their tunics over their mouths and noses to pass through the city. It wouldn't make a difference if they caught the plague anyways, the object of power would be gone by tomorrow and they'd be cured.
Their horses walked across the bodies like they were a bridge. Tigris made herself watch as her horse's hooves stamped down on the bloated corpses beneath her, their flesh denting and bones cracking under the pressure of her weight.
You're dead because I was too late.
And you.
And you.
And you.
She didn't stop until they were well past the city. When they sat by the fire that night, Tigris let their twisted faces glow in every blink.
She'd learned from her test. She didn't try to resist the memory of their faces engraving themselves into her eyelids.
-------
"More stew?"
Tigris jumped. She hadn't heard Roche's thunderous footsteps breaking every twig in the forest. The maid had learned how to make herself scarce. That, or Tigris was more distracted than she wanted to admit.
It took a few moments to realise that Roche was still waiting for an answer. "Oh, no. No, I'm good." Tigris fumbled to answer. Roche smirked.
"Really? You really don't want it?" she pressed, holding up a ladle, "Don't tell me your feeble, royal tongue can't handle Faultless seasoning either, princess."
"Shut up," Tigris replied, a faint, traitorous smile flickering to her lips. She looked around. "Where's Aodh and Finn?"
"They went to bed ages ago." Roche answered simply, "Like you should be doing. We'll reach the valley tomorrow morning, you should be getting some rest, my lady."
Tigris shot her a shrewd look. "What have we said about you giving orders?"
"That I shouldn't?" Roche responded with a wince. Tigris patted her shoulder.
"Good. You're learning." she conceded. Roche sighed and rose to her feet. Her eyes were sad as she did so, and Tigris had the absurd urge to apologise. Before she could, Roche had slipped away, presumably to wash their bowls.
She reappeared moments later.
"Here," Roche held out a smushed breakfast pastry wrapped in parchment paper, "You barely ate dinner."
"Would you leave me alone?" Tigris snarled. Roche blinked at her patiently with those owlish eyes. Tigris lowered her voice. "I have a lot on my mind."
"Like killing me?"
Roche said it with an amused lilt to her voice, but the words were so shocking and horrifying that Tigris couldn't quite hide her flinch.
"Never that." Tigris swore, surprised to feel her throat tightening. "Never."
Roche hummed curiously, plopping down beside Tigris again. They both stared into the flames.
"Something's bothering you, isn't it?" Roche whispered after a moment. Tigris closed her eyes. It looked like her act had been as obscure as glass.
"No." she fibbed. Roche tilted her head knowingly.
"Is it the test?"
Tigris traced the rough bark of the rotting log. "How did you pass?" she asked. Roche stiffened almost instantly. Tigris hurried to add, "I know I'm a princess and you're my maid. But I'd like to think that if things were different... you could have been a friend. A good one. Whose counsel I would value. So... please. Tell me."
Roche heaved a long breath. "It wasn't easy," Roche said quietly, her worn boots digging into the mulchy ground. Her hands were clenched so tightly that her knuckles were white. "The object of power wasn't just sitting there. It was sitting in my worst fear. It was... fueled by it."
Tigris waited patiently. Roche squeezed her eyes shut.
"It was in flames. I crawled into a fire and stayed there as it detonated." Roche bit her lip hard enough to draw blood. Her face had gone ashen. Her breath came out in quick pants. "I burned there for a few minutes until I could get the object to explode. But... it was worth it."
Tigris watched Roche unclench, uncurling from her hunched position. She smiled weakly. "Not as dramatic as your test, I suppose."
"Don't measure misery, Roche." Tigris murmured, gazing into the flames that terrified Roche so greatly, "No one ever wins that game."
"Sorry," Roche apologized instantly, "I've never... whatever." Roche shook her head. "So, what has your royal panties in a twist?"
Tigris frowned. "Why are you here, Roche?"
Roche blinked, cocking her head. "Did you not hear the king when he appointed me as your maid? Because I did."
Tigris rolled her eyes. "No, why have you stayed? We all failed the test, and yet you..." Tigris trailed off. Roche had stayed. She'd washed their dishes. She'd kneeled before them, offered to let them kill her. "You're more pure hearted than all of us. You shouldn't be following us."
"Are you offering me your crown, princess?" Roche teased, "Because I'd love the royal treatment for a day."
"Roche, I'm serious." Tigris sighed. Could the girl go one moment without cracking an insufferable joke? "You shouldn't... you could go home. I can get my father to dismiss you from my service honourably. You don't need to serve me."
Roche's amusement faded. Her eyes bored into Tigris'. "You don't seriously mean that."
"Of course I do! Don't make me say it again!" Tigris snapped. Roche furrowed her brows.
"Do you really think this stupid test proves anything?" Roche said softly. Her warm brown hands clasped in her lap, away from the fire. She looked prim and proper, noble almost. "Princess, all this test proved is that I have a ridiculously low desire to live, that you are a normal person who lets herself be free in her thoughts, that Aodh still wants to kill me, and that Finn... well, Finn's was a bit weird, I'll give him that." Roche shook her head. "The test didn't prove anything."
"It proved that we weren't pure hearted. Finn was right. I could feel the truth in that ghost's words." Tigris confessed, her nails biting into the flesh of her palms. "I can't ignore that. How can I rule over purehearted citizens like you when I... I'm not." Tigris wasn't sure what to say.
Roche's eyes softened. "You're going to become one of the best rulers this kingdom has ever seen, Tigris." The surety of Roche's voice took her off guard. "One day, you will be. You aren't yet, but you have the potential to be one."
Tigris shook her head. Roche leaned forward, snagging Tigris' gaze.
"You are not faultless, Tigris. You're bound to make many mistakes before you become queen one day So make them. Make them and learn to be better. Because I guarantee that one day you will be pure hearted. And just. And fair. And kind. You will be the queen you are meant to be." Roche's eyes twinkled, the fire warming her face to a golden hue. "One day, you will."
Something in Tigris' chest loosened, like diamonds shaken out of a sack. She turned away.
"I'm not sure I will be."
"You will." Tigris dragged her gaze back up to find Roche's jaw set with confidence. "I know it. Take it from someone with a 'pure heart'. I've seen the goodness in you. And until then, I'll be happy to serve you."
Tigris looked away. She sensed Roche's smile flicker. "Is that all you wanted to ask me, princess?"
Tigris heaved a breath. Now came the question she'd been waiting for. "In your test... how did you detonate the object?"
Roche stiffened, pulling away. "I don't really remember. I guess I kind of willed it to, just like you did in your test."
Tigris sank back on the log. "Right," she murmured, "Of course." That confirmed her plan.
Roche's lips crimped. "Is that all, my lady?"
"Yes, Roche." Tigris dismissed her with a firm nod. "Thank you."
Her gratitude seemed to take the girl aback. Roche nodded, her eyes shining with concern as she stoked the fire. Tigris laid herself on the cool ground, wishing she could spend her last night with a sleeping roll or something more comfortable.
But perhaps she should be grateful that she had this night at all.
A/N: :O Tigris is scheming... that's never a good thing.
So, what did you all think of the chapter? Tbh, this book is running much longer than I thought and we're not even halfway done LOL. Hopefully once everything is written, I'll be able to go back and edit a bit. As always, enjoy and happy reading :D