TW: Bl00d and d3ath

"What is this?" Finn snarled, one hand pressed against the gushing wound in his side as he levered himself up. All around him, people dressed in clinically starched white clothes screamed and ran. Irritation crackled through Finn's pain. He ignored the radiating forks of pain in his side as he reached out and seized one of the rushing healers by the wrist. The woman was young, just out of adolescence. She flinched at the sudden touch, her blond curls bouncing around her face as she struggled to free herself. Finn yanked her towards him harshly. "Why did she send me here?" he growled, his tone dark and menacing. The woman squealed in terror, and Finn rolled his eyes, giving her a shake. "Answer me!"

The woman merely sobbed in fear. Finn released her with disgust, his mind racing. The Ala wasn't a complete fool. She must have some torture in store for him, some ultimate punishment to bring about his demise.

Finn winced, dragging himself upright as the shrieks around him seemed to fade. It didn't matter, he assured himself. He was a king. A warrior and a scholar. An inkblood who had ruled the Council of Seven. It did not matter what trap the Ala had planned for him because he would thwart her, just like he always had.

He would not give up.

He stared amongst the sea of faces crowded around his body. Oily revulsion filled him at the sight of their petrified faces. Cowards, the lot of them. They had condemned him with their fear, had stood by as Romulus had tortured him once. And now they were ready to torture him again on the Ala's behalf. They would pay, Finn swore, just as everyone else would he. He just had to find a way out of this first.

Blood sank into the cracked skin of his fingers as he laid back, the room spinning. He reached for his inkblood again, a dull ache rumbling through his bones. He bit back an exclamation of pain, his thoughts whirling in his darkening mind.

Okay, he had no strength left to wield his inkblood.

That didn't matter. He had been formidable without it, once. He still had his words after all. They were all he needed.

"You!" Finn's voice cracked through the cacophony of the tent as he lifted his head, meeting the eyes of the woman he'd restrained moments ago. She squeaked, tears still staining her cheeks. Finn pinned her place with his gaze before she could flee yet again. "Where are we?"

The woman ran her tongue over her lips, trembling as she whispered, "M-Moiris."

"Who are you?" a broad shouldered man with blond hair demanded. Finn vaguely recognised his regal grey cloak and insignia stitched on his shoulder. A knight. One of Tigris'. He sighed. This wasn't going to be easy.

"I am someone you are quite familiar with, I'm afraid," Finn announced, flashing an easy going smile at the gathered crowd, "If you have come to Moiris, you must know who I am. And you will help me or face ruination."

The knight unsheathed his sword, forcing back part of the crowd with a sweep of his muscled arm. "You're Finnegan."

"King Finnegan," Finn corrected, fighting back a grimace. His wound needed healing immediately. "The rightful ruler of the land. Now, you will let the healers aid me or face punishment."

The knight sneered. "Yeah right. You won't find any friends in this tent, your Majesty. Go inkblood yourself into your grave, it looks like you don't have very long left to live."

Unfortunately, he was right. If Finn didn't get help soon, he would be as good as dead. His jaw clenched before he could stop it, and he opened his mouth to argue. But another voice sliced through the tense air first.

"What's going on in here?"

Finn's breath lodged in his throat at the sound of that voice. Kai burst into the tent, one hand on his sparse weapons belt as his sharp eyes swept across the gathered crowd before him. All faces turned to watch as the queen's betrothed's eyes locked on Finn's battered face.

Kai's jaw dropped.

"My lord," the knight greeted, his voice grave and serious, "He just appeared here and demanded to be healed. We don't know why or what his plan is-"

"It's alright," Kai said after a moment. His throat bobbed. His eyes never left Finn's face. "He's here for me."

Silence reined for several moments. The knight cleared his throat.

"I don't understand-"

Kai tore his eyes away from Finn and stared at the knight. Finn marveled at his gravitas, and the kind yet stern aura he emanated as he addressed the knight and the gathered crowd. "It's alright, Sir Brom. Go. He is no threat to anyone here, just look at him."

The knight still looked uncomfortable. "Tigris will kill me if I leave you alone with him."

Kai's lips twitched. "Don't worry. She and I discussed this. Lead everyone outside for a break and please ensure no one disturbs us."

Finn reeled silently. So the supposed Fyra and Kai were in on the Ala's plan? What madness was this?

After a beat, the knight nodded and began herding everyone out of the freshly set up healing tent. Kai waited patiently for them to leave, holding himself perfectly still with all the grace of a noble. When the flaps of the tent fluttered shut, Kai turned slowly. His honeyed eyes traced over Finn's form.

Finn nearly scoffed. This was a mockery. A servant standing over his master.

Kai drew closer, each step slow and sure. He stood over Finn for several moments, devastation gleaming in his eyes. A spark of a plan flickered to life in Finn's mind. Kai's loyalty to Tigris had always been weak. And the servant had always harboured a soft spot for Finn. Perhaps he could be swayed to help him.

Before Finn could get a word out, Kai's hands were under his shoulders. Finn couldn't bite back his cry of agony as he was lifted up onto one of the patient cots. Blood dripped against the ground with wet splats.

"What is this?" he hissed, all his plans flooding out of his mind with the crackling pain, "I never took you to be a torturer, Kai."

Kai paused, cocking his head. "Torturer?"

"So what is it?" Finn hissed bitterly, clutching his side in a weak attempt to staunch the blood rushing out of his wound, "What torments does the Ala have planned for me? Why has she brought me here?"

Kai dragged a metal chair towards the cot and lowered himself to it. It looked uncomfortable to sit on. Good, a spiteful part of Finn's seethed. He silenced it when he noticed Kai's eyes glimmering with tears.

"She brought you here so we could talk," Kai answered softly.

Finn blinked, disbelief flooding him.

"To talk?" he repeated slowly.

Kai nodded, propping his chin on his fist. The sight summoned the memory of a different time. Of the man sitting by his bedside after he'd been battered and bruised under the hands of a supposed knight. Of a friend sweeping a cool cloth across his bruised face after watching the library burn. Of Kai whispering a story to him, half asleep, after a night in the dungeons.

Finn's throat ached with sudden tightness. Kai leaned closer, his eyes glowing intently. They looked golden in the darkness. Precious.

Something pulsed low in Finn's stomach. Perhaps he hadn't lost everything today. Perhaps he had something to gain as well.

"Kai," Finn murmured, his voice low with the fiery desire coursing through his veins. A hint of satisfaction shot through him at the slight tremble that raced through Kai at the sound of his name on Finn's lips. Finn hid his smile. "Can you heal me?"

Kai's lips twisted. He leaned forward, his fingers toying with the matted curls plastered to Finn's forehead as they had a million times before. Finn's breath stuttered, longing filling him as Kai whispered, "I don't think even Roche can fix you now, Finn. It's over."

A shot of panic blasted through Finn as Kai reclined back. No! He needed Kai. Needed him to heal him. Needed him to stay by the true king's side.

Finn swallowed down his panic. He studied Kai's face, noticing the slight stiffness of the man's back, the frayed edge of his nails. He was anxious. Reticent.

Perhaps he had orders from the Ala to not heal Finn.

Finn had to change that. He could feel his time running out, sensation falling away from him like sand running out of an hourglass.

"Roche," Finn repeated, trying to withhold the venom in his voice. What was it that would make Kai so loyal to an inkblood? An idea flooded through his mind, and he blurted out, "She kissed Tigris. I saw them."

Kai blinked back slowly, unaffected. "Really?"

"Yes!" A drop of sweat trickled down Finn's spine. "They've betrayed you."

Kai was still for a moment, several emotions passing through his eyes. The man's throat bobbed, and he whispered, "I'm happy for them. They deserve each other."

Finn was temporarily speechless. Kai chuckled at his former lord's face. "Did you think I didn't know? I practically gave Tigris my blessing to court whoever she damn well pleases. Our hearts were not made for one another in such a way."

Finn's blood pulsed in his ears. Darkness ringed his vision, so much more endless and permanent than simple unconsciousness. Terror tore through him, nearly wiping away rational thought.

"Then who was your heart made for?" Finn breathed, the words coming out in a rush. Heat coursed through him, searing and delightful as Kai leaned closer. His broad lips parted, so close to Finn's face that the prince's skin tingled.

"You," Kai whispered, and the word sent pleasure rocketing through Finn's body. He gasped as Kai continued, "At least, who I think you are."

Finn's breath was coming out in small pants. His chest ached terribly. He had to hold on. He was so close to winning Kai over.

"You know I've always wanted you, Kai," Finn replied softly, his mouth suddenly dry as he craned his face up. An almost hungry gleam filled Kai's face as the light played across Finn's cheekbone. A curl fell over Finn's eyes, and Kai's hand moved on instinct brushing it away. His fingertips lingered against Finn's skin. The air was tense. Kai's breath shuddered.

"Kai," Finn whispered, hope buoying in his chest with desperation as those fingers, worn and weathered and somehow regal, traced his jaw. "Please."

Kai paused, a hairbreadth from Finn's lips. Their faces were so close that Finn would have arched off the bed to connect them if he could. Kai's eyes closed, tears clinging to his lashes.

"Say it," the man begged.

"Kiss me," Finn pleaded, his vision darkening, "Kiss me, kiss me, kiss-"

It was like the words were an enchantment. Kai's lips slammed into Finn's with delicious heat and friction. Finn savoured it, inhaling Kai's breaths like they were his own. He gasped, feeling Kai's coarse hands, battered and calloused, trace down his neck, leaving his skin prickling and alight with delight. Finn's mind raced.

Now. He had to ask now.

Finn pulled away, just enough to gasp out the command. "Heal me, Kai, and we can do this forever."

A tear carved down Kai's cheek, and the salt of it tingled against Finn's split lips. He couldn't feel his hands anymore as Kai shook his head. "I can't, Finn."

Finn leaned up with a surge of adrenaline and terror. "There has to be something," he rasped, trying to make the words husky with longing, but part of his fear leeched into the phrase. He pressed his lips against Kai's trying to make him taste his impending death.

Their end.

Kai let out a choked sob. "I can't, Finn. You're dying. There's nothing I can do."

"You don't have to listen to the Ala anymore-"

"This isn't about her," Kai insisted hotly, pulling away. Tears streamed down his face. Finn realised, with a numbing crush of dread, that the devastation on the man's face wasn't faked at all.

Kai's words came out strangled by his tears. "There is nothing," he emphasized, the words nothing more than a frustrated growl, "That I can do. You're dying, Finn. Your wound... there's nothing here that can treat it."

Finn's mind went blank. The darkness at the edges of his vision had steadily crept further, forming a small tunnel that Kai's beautiful features filled.

Finn's breaths were heavy and laboured. Each puff of air might be his last. A terrible, dooming horror flattened him, blasting away all logic. Only animalistic instinct remained, twining with his last, logical thought before death claimed him.

I can still win.

Finn clutched the burst of energy that came with the thought, shooting upwards in the bed. Kai gasped as Finn's bloody hands reached up, cradling his jaw tenderly. Finn traced that strong jaw that he had dreamt of as an entire kingdom had spurned him. He hovered over those broad, intoxicating lips that held wisdom Finn never could attain. Finn waited for a beat, waited to be pushed away.

But he could always count on Kai. The man didn't waver.

Finn crushed their lips together. Amongst the burn of the delightful sensation of those honeyed lips and those beautiful, fluttering molten eyes with lashes that tickled Finn's cheeks, triumph filled Finn.

Tigris wouldn't get this.

Tigris would never have Kai.

For the rest of eternity, Kai would only want this.

Finn had done it. He'd won.

Finn clutched the man by the lapels, smiling victoriously.

Abruptly, Kai broke away, tearing himself free from Finn's grip. Without Kai's steady hands, Finn fell flat against the bed, gasping for air.

Finn could only watch, his vision darkening and breaths reducing to a wheezing rasp as Kai's fingers lifted to his swollen lips gingerly. Kai stared back at him with such horror that it struck Finn to the core.

"This is just some game to you, isn't it?" Kai whispered, his voice trembling. His fingers were pressed against his own lips, his tongue darting across like he could still taste Finn on them. His chest heaved as much as Finn's. "You just want to win."

Kai always had known him better than anyone else.

Finn flinched against the full force of Kai's disappointment. He laughed with the last of his breath. "And I have. You love me. Not her."

Kai's brows furrowed. He leaned closer, looking more confused than betrayed. "But I don't. I don't love you."

Finn's chest burned, the words filling him with iciness so much colder than death. He shivered, gazing up at Kai with his dying vision.

"What... but you..."

"How could I love you like this?" Kai murmured sadly, "You are not the man I love."

"I am," Finn said desperately. When Kai didn't reply, fury filled him. Terrible, raging fury that could have incinerated worlds. Finn swore that he would. The next time some fool opened a portal between the realm of the dead and the living, he would be there. He would wreak his havoc. But in case Kai wasn't around by then, he had to get in one last blow.

He had to win.

Finn met the man's eyes and said the words that had shaken him once before. "So you've betrayed me too."

To Finn's utter shock and dismay, Kai didn't even flinch. He sat back, looking gutted but sure as he whispered, "You betrayed me first, Finn," Kai repeated, his voice perfectly steady. His fingers brushed back Finn's curls, but Finn couldn't feel the warmth of that hand.

"You never loved me," Finn breathed. His vision was but a small circle now, tunnelling around Kai's eyes.

Kai sighed. "I loved the man that you were."

"You killed him. You left him alone to suffer. You-" Finn's throat closed up, the accusations burning. He knew it was over. He only had moments left.

Kai's lips trembled. His tears were icy against Finn's skin.

"I would have burned the world for that man," Kai said fiercely, a tone Finn had never heard from Kai before. Shock rolled through him, numbing all sensation as Kai choked on a sob and breathed, "I would have fought your father for you. I would have run away with you or helped you bring the truth to this kingdom. I would have done anything for you, Finn. But you never trusted me. Never spoke to me about your twisted plans. You became a stranger."

Kai leaned back. Finn couldn't breathe, couldn't even reply. Kai stood, taking his loving touch away with him. Finn felt coldness in its place.

"You," Kai repeated softly, each word a dagger to Finn's dying heart, "Betrayed me first. You have no one to blame for this but yourself. No, I will not love you. I do not love you. You are not my Finn."

There wasn't a hint of doubt in the words.

Finn choked and thrashed, desperate for air. Kai watched, his face torn with sympathy, but not a hint of affection. In his darkening mind, Finn had one last burst of cognition. He imagined what life could have been if he'd simply said no to the Council that day when they offered him the world. If he'd gone to Kai and confessed what ran through his veins, what he planned to do. If he'd told Kai the truth and given him the trust that he deserved.

He gazed up at Kai, his honeyed eyes the last thing Finn saw as his vision went completely dark.

Finn wondered what it would have been like to be loved by this man. He ached for it.

His lips curved, and he begged the universe for one last breath, just to say the words he should have told Kai long ago.

"I'm sorry," he tried to choke out, but his lungs wouldn't cooperate. All that came out was one last, pained whine.

"Goodbye, Finnegan," Kai's voice filtered through his ears, muddling as Finn descended into the darkness. Finn felt his body go still and his heart pump its last just a moment before his mind surrendered. He had time to form one last thought with his words, the last thing any inkblood had when death came calling.

I've lost.

Finnegan Emerson Silvia died loveless and unforgiven.

A/N: Ahh, I've been waiting to write this chapter since this story began! Hopefully this long awaited part of the story delivered :)

Finn was such a fun character for me to write. For anyone who has watched Merlin, I based him off of Morgana. With characters like Morgana and Finn, there's a lot of discussion over how much fault they hold for their actions. Finn, for instance, was prophesized to turn evil. He held a lot of bitterness and resentment and often spoke out against Romulus. Yet he didn't truly stop fighting for his sister's cause until Roche pushed him away and denied him the truth that he (arguably) deserved. Granted, after that point, everything was completely his fault. He sided with the Council, killed his people, kidnapped people, enchanted people, and much more twisted stuff. But he might have never gone down that route if Roche hadn't pushed him away. Or, worse still, because of the prophecy, he might have gone down that path anyways, with or without Roche's intervention. It's just such a nuanced topic that is heavily discussed among Merlin fans and I absolutely love talking about it! I'd love to hear any thoughts you all have about this :D

This chapter was also a bit of a tribute to the men that Finn and Kai used to be. Writing this story and knowing who Finn would become was very challenging, especially when I absolutely adored the kind, bookish scholarly boy that he was and his wise, gentle servant who was valued by so many. Destiny (me) was very cruel to them, and it was so tempting to give both of them a happy ending, but I knew that wasn't very realistic. Fate (me) had never been kind to Finn, I couldn't start now LOL.

Anyways, to end off this ridiculously long author's note, this chapter holds a very special place in my heart. I hope that it does justice to Finn and all of the characters that he hurt and once loved. 

Up next, we have a long prophesized event coming to play :)

As always, happy reading!