Two days ago...
"This isn't a trap," I grumble, standing next to the closed door. I stare at the group with a sharp glare as I wait for them. "Now stop talking and let's go!"
Everyone stares at me as I open the door. I ignore their stares, however, and then march out the door without another word. I hear them following me; And by them, I mean Luke, Ben, Finn, Lyra, and Rose.
"I don't think I've ever met your wife," Rose says, pausing for a moment. "Does she even know who you truly are?"
I turn to her. "Rose, stop it." I snap. "You have no idea what I even did and why I did it, so don't you dare start yelling at me for something you have nothing to do with."
"Fine," she replies. "I'll not talk anymore."
We continue our way down to the room quietly. No one speaks, no one even opens their mouths to cough or yawn.
We're all silent.
I assume it's due to the events that occurred earlier today, perhaps it could be about how I just snapped at Rose for talking.
I don't know.
But I'm thankful for this silence, no matter how guilt filled and uncomfortable it may be.
After ten minutes of walking, (this place doesn't have an elevator, apparently), we finally come across the familiar hotel room.
Room 011
Finally.
I reach inside my coat pocket and pull out my key card then swipe it, unlocking the door. With a twist of the handle it's open, and I step inside, only to be welcomed by a joyous two year old. "Dada!" Bellamy squeals, running towards me and lifting his arms, waiting for me to pick him up.
I smile down at him and scoop him up. He looks at me and grins.
"Did you and mama have a good day?" I ask, he nods. "That's good! Where is she, anyway?"
"She foldin' laundry in 'here," he states, pointing towards the room. I nod and place him down, walking out of the small foyer and into the room where I see my wife, Zoey. "Hey,"
Zoey grins, setting down the laundry and walking towards me and the group. "Hello," she greets, reaching her hand out for them to shake. "I'm Zoey, Nathan's wife."
"Rosamund," Rose grins, shaking her hand. "You can call me Rose, though."
Once everyone's introduced themselves, we all find a place to sit so I can explain to them what's happening.
"What's wrong?" Zoey asks suddenly, as I come back on my third trip to the brewer with two cups of tea for everyone.
"What?" I ask, sitting down and picking up a book. "I'm just being polite. Nothings wrong. Also, I have to catch up on some reading really quick. I should be done in about a day."
"You've been stalling for forty minutes." She states. "Somethings wrong."
"I'll tell you what's wrong," Lyra says. "You're stupid husband-" I send her a warning glare, telling her to keep her mouth shut. She chews on her lip and looks down, sighing. "—Won't hand us the dang honey. I like honey in my tea."
Zoey grins. "Oh, well I'll go grab the bottle quickly," she says, standing up and going towards the small counter on the wall. "I also use honey. Nathan, however, hates honey. He prefers sugar."
"Yes, well everyone has their preferences." Lyra replies as Zoey comes back with the bottle of honey. She takes it kindly and grins softly, thanking her.
"So," Zoey says, sitting down. "Want to tell me why almost everyone from the base is here in my hotel room? Not that I'm complaining or anything, I mean I'm happy to have you all. But it is almost dinner and after dinner I have to get Bellamy ready for bed."
"They'll be quick," I assure. "I actually wanted to tell you all something."
She frowns. "What is it?"
"Uh, well," I reply, awkwardly rubbing the back of my neck. "When I tell you this, I need you all to be quiet. Try not to freak out too hard."
"Don't give me anything to freak out about and we'll be fine," Zoey replies, grinning nervously.
I chuckle humorlessly. "Well, I don't know how to tell you guys this, really,"
"Just tell us already," Finn says sharply.
"Yeah," I say, sighing. "Yeah, well, anyway. You know I love you— Zoey— very much, right? And you know how much I care for our son and would be sick if anything ever happened to you guys?"
"You're kind of scaring me," Zoey states. "But yes, I know."
I turn to everyone else. "And Rosie, you know how I look at you as a sister, right—?"
"Yeah, I know," Rose snaps. "Just get in with it before something really bad happens to Rey." She pauses, looking down and chewing on her bottom lip. "If it didn't happened already."
"Right." I reply, nodding. "Now—"
"Wait," Zoey says. "What about Rey? Nathan, what's wrong with Rey?"
Zoey has only met Rey once, and it was purely by coincidence. We had been walking outside on Fest when Zoey accidentally walked into Rey. I was a bit behind, as I was holding Bellamy's hand and oh my goodness he's the slowest walker I've ever met. I saw Rey, however, though I didn't even know it was her because I didn't know she was back yet and they had no idea I was even alive. They said their 'sorry's' and 'hellos' and Zoey asked if she was new to the planet and everything. She said yes and long story short, Zoey found out her name was Rey.
I found out about their conversation when I caught up to Zoey. I asked who that was, she said it was Rey and explained how she walked into her.
So yeah, Zoey knew Rey was back before I did.
"Well—"
"—Your husband sold her out." Finn snaps. "He just sold her out to them. To the people who killed my friends father and crashed my wedding and caused us to move planets two times now!"
"You did what?!" Zoey exclaims.
"I did not sell her out!" I insist. I just kidnapped her. Remains unsaid.
"Then what did you do, Nathanial Bridger?" Rose asks. I cringe at the use of my full name. "'Cause, to me, it sounds like you've been a double agent this whole dang time."
"Just like Ward!" Lyra replies. "I'm surprised you didn't trap Rey and Finn in a pod then sink them to the bottom of the ocean, Ward Jr."
"Lyra, maybe we shouldn't make Marvel references right now." Rose says, her eyes widening as she stares off in horror. "What have I become?"
I gasp, offended. "I am not Ward!" I snap. "You want to know why I did what I did? I did it because if I didn't they were going to kill my family!" I turn to Zoey. "They were going to kill you and Bell!"
"What?!" Zoey asks. "They were what?"
"They were going to kill you!" I repeat. "I had to, Zo, I had to take her. I'm sorry I didn't want to but if I didn't you guys' would've died because of me!"
"Why because of you?" Lyra asks. "How do you even know them?"
"Because I work for them!"
There's silence, until: "You what?!"
"I work for them!" I repeat. "I work for the bad guys. I'm a monster, I know! I've been working with them this whole entire time. You know that fire, that killed your friends dad? That was my idea! The explosion at the wedding? I knew it was gonna happen! But did I say anything? No, I didn't! Because I'm a monster, but you know what? I'm a monster that just wants to protect his wife and son!"
"Welp," Ben says after awhile. "That took a turn for the worst."
"Nathan, you should've told us!" Lyra says. "Why didn't you tell us?"
"Because," I say. "I was told if I said anything to anybody, Zoey and Bellamy would die. They said they had eyes on me and blasters on them constantly. If I said anything, they'd shoot them."
"How long have you been working with them, Nathan?" Zoey asks, her voice shaky as if she were holding back a cry. "Why do you work for them? And I don't wanna hear 'I had to, or else you'd die'. I want to hear the truth. That may be the reason, yes. But you have to have gotten yourself in this somehow."
"Um," I say, looking down. "A little over th-three years now."
Zoey squeezes her blue eyes shut, tears falling down her dark skin.
"They helped me escape the first order," I state. "I owed them, they said. And after the first order fell, they contacted me and said they needed my help. And I agreed."
"You've been lying to me the whole entire time we've known each other," Zoey finally says. "For four years, you've been keeping this secret."
"I-I know, and I'm sorry,"
"Sorry's just a word." She snaps. "It won't change anything."
"I know,"
She looks down, moving a loose strand of hair out of her face before standing up and grabbing Bellamy. "I need to think,"
"Zo," I say, reaching to grab her shoulder in attempt to stop her. "Wait,"
"No," she snaps, turning towards me sharply. "I need time, and you're going to give me time. What you've done isn't something I can just let go."
"Zoey, I did this before I even knew you!"
"No, they saved you before you knew me." Zoey says. "But when the first order fell, you knew me. We'd been dating for months! Almost a year! You could've told me!"
"You would've left!"
"I kind of wish I would have!" She calls back before slamming the door shut, a crying Bellamy in her arms.
I stare at the door in hopes she'll come back in. I know she won't, if I were her I'd do the same. Leave. I wish I could leave. I can't. This is my hotel room and obviously no one else will let me stay with them after all I've done.
"Hey,"
I turn around at the voice, seeing the group of people standing there, most of them having their arms crossed over their chests; I almost forgot they were there. I wish they weren't.
"So, um," Rose says. "We're gonna go,"
Rose leaves the room. I can only assume she's upset at me. I'd be upset at me, too. Heck, I am upset at me. If it's possible, I'm the most upset at myself.
"You know," Luke says. "You probably shouldn't keep secrets from your wife."
"Yeah thanks, I didn't notice." I snarl at him, watching as he follows shortly behind Rose. Soon, everyone else is leaving, but Finn stays behind. He looks angry. Actually, angry is an understatement. You'd have to think of a whole new word to describe how he looks right now.
He takes a step closer, I take a step back.
"Look," he says. "I know you wanted to protect your wife and child. I'd do the same, even though I have no children. But if you ever, and I mean ever, hurt Rey or anyone else close to me again, you better watch out."
I nod nervously, a weird cry noise escaping my throat.
Then, without another word, he leaves. Just like everyone else. I flop down in the now empty seat and sigh, when I notice something written on one of the napkins.
Better sleep with one eye open :)) - Ben
I give a nervous breath, then throw my head back and close my eyes, thinking of every bad thing I've done.
~
Present...
I awake sitting in a chair, confused. It takes a few seconds to remember what happened exactly. But then memories from the earlier day come flooding back to me. I must've fallen asleep after they left... which was probably over ten hours ago.
Which means I slept almost a day away.
Crap.
I quickly stand up from the uncomfortable chair and walk into the refresher to get ready for the almost over day, although I probably won't even leave the room today. I doubt anyone will want to see me.
I know I wouldn't want to see me.
~
Like expected, I did not leave the room.
Actually, I didn't leave the room for many days. In fact, I'm in the room right now. Just sitting here, in the room, eating ramen noodles while watching the holovision. Just like I've been doing these past six days.
But it's okay. I'm fine! I actually like this...this silence, and being all alone in this two bed hotel room with the bathroom and crib in the corner. I'm fine that all my friends and family hate me. I am so great, actually! Being in this room, catching up on my shows...
All alone.
Okay, maybe I'm not perfect. But who is? Nobody, at least no one I know and none of the people in my fandoms! Actually, they're the opposite of perfect— people in my fandoms. They're awful!
"So, I see you've been productive this past week,"
I turn around at the voice, seeing Poe standing in the doorway. "Oh, yeah um I've been catching up on my shows." I inform, turning back to the holovision. "Dang you Bellamy, helping get Lincoln killed."
"You know this comes back in like, two weeks?" He asks.
I nod. "Yeah, I only just found it on Netholo."
"It's really good," Poe states. "I'm kind of personally offended you didn't watch it sooner."
"Hey, c'mon!" I reply. "You only just found Izombie!"
"Actually," Poe replies. "The authors mom did, then the author watched it. So it's kind their fault I didn't watch it sooner. Heck, I doubt you even knew it was until like a week or two ago!"
I make a face. "True," I say, then sigh. "So I'm assuming you didn't hear?"
"Oh no, I did," Poe replies. "And I'm ticked."
"At me?"
"You'd have to think of a whole different word to describe how-"
"—Okay, okay I get it." I say. "I made a mistake. I'm a terrible person."
He doesn't respond.
"No Nathan, you aren't a terrible person, you had no other choice!" I say. "You know you suck at this talking thingy."
"I'm not saying anything 'cause I agree," Poe replies. "You are a terrible person,"
"Jee, thanks,"
"No no," Poe says. "You didn't let me finish, Ward the second."
"I said stop calling me that!"
"Well, that's sort of what you are," Poe says. "Anyway, like I was saying, you are a terrible person. But you're also a great father and husband."
"I lied to my wife for forever."
"Okay, maybe not the best husband." Poe says, agreeing. "I mean, if I lied to Lyra she'd kill me. I mean, she'd seriously kill me. I'd be dead. Just like, laying on the floor, deceased. Dead. Dead with a capital-"
"—Yeah, I get it," I say. "Nice pep-talk, you're such a great friend."
"Thanks, I know,"
"Is there a reason you're here?" I ask.
"Yeah, actually," he replies. "I wanted to ask you what happened to Rey,"
"It's a long story?" I say, sighing afterwards. "I don't even understand, really."
"They said you sold her out," Poe states. "Is that true?"
"Sort of," I admit. Only what happened is much worse.
"What?!" Poe exclaims.
Did I say that out loud or did Poe just read my mind?
"No, I didn't read your mind!" Poe says. "You're talking! You don't hear yourself talking?"
"I guess I kinda got in the habit of thinking aloud,"
"What do you mean 'only what happened is much worse'?" Poe demands.
"I mean," I say. "I mean I did something bad, okay?"
"You seem to do a lot of bad things," Poe replies. "What did you do?"
I look down, not answering his question.
"Is she okay?"
I still don't answer.
"Is...is she dead?" Poe asks, voice breaking slightly at the end. I quickly look up at him, eyes wide.
"No!" I say. "No, she's not. She's alive, I promise."
Poe sighs in relief. "Thank goodness," he turns around and begins walking towards the door. I stare at him as he grabs a jacket, confused. What are you doing?
"What are you doing?" I ask.
"Now, Nathan, no need to repeat yourself," Poe says. "I heard you the first time."
I still continue to stare at him, the same expression on my face.
"Where are you going?"
"To take these guys down," he tosses me my jacket, then opens the door. "They've ruled this galaxy long enough. It's time for them to end."
Authors Note:
I realize I should probably be sleeping, but this update has been eating away at me for the past four days and it was already done so I just wanted to post it really quick.
Sorry for the lame ending. I thought it would be cool but it didn't turn out how I wanted it to. Sooo