Our ears go deaf in that moment.

Things seem to slow down, and everything begins to move in one big blur.

We watch in horror as the building explodes, with my father and our three friends still inside. Leia screams, and Han blinks away the few tears that have already formed in his eyes.

Poe and Lyra comfort their small daughter, who cries in fear.

Many things begin to run through my mind.

My dad—the last piece of family I have left was in there. I left him in there.

And I have to save him.

"No," I say, beginning to run towards the scene, only for Rose to stop me.

"Caden, no." She replies, tears in her eyes.

"But I have to save them!" I scream at her. "I need my dad! I-I can't lose him! Not-not like how I lost my mom and sister! Please, let me save him!"

"You can't," she says.

My knees give out, and I fall to the ground.

My dad is gone.

I couldn't save him.

This is all my fault.

Exhausted from the smoke, my world blackens, and I soon lose all consciousness.

~

I wake up, seeing that I'm no longer at the base, but instead on the millennium falcon. Rose sits beside me, watching me carefully with an oxygen tank next to her.

"Hey," she greets.

Part of me forgets what happened, while the other part knows exactly what happened.

I'm just trying not to believe it.

"Hey," I reply.

"How are you holding up?"

"I don't know. It doesn't seem real." I say silently, shrugging. "But what about you? How are you doing?"

"I'm alright." She replies. "I just don't understand what happened, and why it happened. The galaxy's at peace, isn't it?"

"Yeah, I thought it was."

"They said that it was an attack on our base." Lyra states, and we turn to her. "We don't know who did it, we just know they want us all dead."

I frown, then a question pops into my mind.

"Did you find them?" I ask, they stare at me confused. "Finn, Luke, Rey, ... my dad. Did you guys find them?"

Lyra and Rose glance at each other, and turn to me.

"Well," Lyra says. "yes."

I look at them with just a glimmer of hope in my eyes, but when their faces fall, I know that this isn't going to be good news.

"Luke, Rey, and Finn are okay." Lyra continues. "Although all three of them inhaled a lot of smoke, but they'll recover from that. And Rey and Luke both destroyed their hands... so, they have to get new. But other then that, they're all fine."

"And ... my dad?" I ask, and the two go silent. "My dad? Where is he? Is he okay?"

Rose sighs heavily before answering.

"Your dad," she begins, tears welling up in her eyes. "he didn't make it. I'm sorry."

I freeze. It feels like someone took a knife and stabbed me in the heart. Her words keep replaying in the back of my head, over and over again.

He didn't make it.

Your dad, he didn't make it.

I'm sorry.

It never seems to end.

Tears well up in my eyes, and I can't help but let out a sob.

My father is dead.

"Caden," Rose says gently, placing a hand on my shoulder. "I'm so sorry."

"No," I say silently. "leave me alone."

"Cade-"

"-I want to be left alone!" I snap. "Please, leave me alone."

She looks at me understanding, but she still has hurt in her eyes. If I hadn't just lost my dad, I'd feel bad. But I can't feel bad at this moment. My dad is dead!

Finally her and Lyra leave this part of the falcon, leaving me behind with my thoughts.

And everything suddenly hits me.

I lived.

And he didn't.

I should've died.

He should've lived.

First my mom and sister, now my dad.

I have no more family left.

I should be dead.

I don't deserve to live.

Anger rises inside of me, and I scream.

For the first time ever, I actually let myself mourn for my mom and sister, even though they died long ago.

I mourn for my father, and I also mourn for Rogue One, the team my father was in before I was even born.

Memories from when we joined the resistance comes flooding into my mind. I so badly wish I could go back in time and stop us from doing so, because now my dad is dead.

If we would've stayed, he wouldn't be dead.

When my voice finally grows weak, I break down in sobs.

Whoever did this, is going to pay for what they've done.

And I'm not going to rest until they're dead.

I don't care if it kills me.

—

Poor Caden!

Things are starting to get darker, but this will still have a lot of fluff in it, so don't you worry at all.

Hope you guys enjoyed that (very) depressing chapter.

Thank you for reading, and I'm sorry!