Fix Your Eyes And Get Up

Pairing: Mikey Way x Reader

Genre: Romance, Fluff

Summary: Sequel to The Five of Us Are Dying (x). The crush you still have on Mikey causes you to screw up during a concert on the World Contamination Tour. You plan on burying your feelings in order to be a better drummer....but, then Mikey reminds you of the night, five years ago, that he asked you if you liked his eyes. 3/4 of my The Five of Us.... Alternate Endings series.

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The fan – she must have been about sixteen – in the front row was distracting you. You shouldn’t get distracted anymore. You were a veteran member of My Chemical Romance by now. You’d composed another album alongside your bandmates after Black Parade (two, if you counted Weapons). Now, you were on your third tour with them. Nobody accused you of not being a “real” band member anymore.

And so I’m not going to fuck up this time, you told yourself as your drumsticks crashed into your cymbals and whipped wildly over your snare and bass drums. No telling yourself you’re not good enough to be in this band, like you did in 2004. And certainly no starting stupid drama within the band with your dumb crushes, like you did in 2006.
You couldn’t believe you’d ever been green enough to let a secret slip out of your mouth on live TV. You’d become more guarded in interviews ever since. Plenty of TV and radio hosts had tried to ask you which of your bandmates you’d been talking about that day. Even now, years later, tabloid journalists still brought it up sometimes when you were just trying to promote your band’s album.

“I don’t want to talk about that,” you said, every single time. What mattered was the music. Even though you still pined for Mikey, the other boys in the band were all your friends, and they deserved better than to have their hard work thrown by the way side to focus on your potential romance.

“Actually, I got over that crush a long time ago,” you’d lied in an interview recently, hoping it would make the invasive questions finally stop. “I do not like anybody in my band anymore. We’re all just very good friends, ok?”

You were full of shit. Your feelings for Mikey were stronger than ever. The newly blonde hair he’d adopted as part of his “Kobra Kid” persona looked so damn good on him. It wasn’t just you that thought so – his fanbase was getting bigger and more aggressive.

Like the girl shouting over the music your band was playing right now. “Mikey!” she called, trying to get the bassist’s attention. He didn’t really respond. He was too busy on the other end of the stage, trying to make sure he didn’t play the notes of “Give ‘Em Hell Kid” incorrectly. It was a bass-heavy song, so he had to give it all of his attention.

“Mikey, I love you!” the fangirl shouted. “You’re so sexy!”

Jealousy clouded your mind for a moment, and…..oh, fuck, you just started playing your section of the song at the wrong time! Mikey turned and looked at you, his pacing totally thrown off. Gerard even almost stopped singing for a second.

Fuck, fuck, had the whole crowd noticed your mistake? you wondered, embarrassed. You’ve played this song like a million times, you idiot, how could you fuck this up?
Frank kept playing his guitar, undaunted, and after a moment, the band was back to playing on track. It had only been a momentary slip-up. The whole song wasn’t ruined….right?

But, that’s what I get for letting my feelings for Mikey distract me!  you told yourself, cheeks burning. This was why you still tried so hard to forget your feelings. Thousands of girls all over the world would always have crushes on Mikey. He was a rock star. That’s just what happened. If you went all green-eyed monster over every single one, you’d totally ruin the tour.

You didn’t even look over at Mikey for the rest of the set. You put all your focus on your drumming, making sure you played to the best of your abilities. The fans deserved a good show – even the one who liked Mikey. They’d paid tons of money, and in some cases, travelled a long way, to see you and the rest of My Chemical Romance perform. People said in fan letters all the time that your band was their inspiration. You couldn’t disappoint them.

After you closed the show with “Helena” (your usual encore tune), you were sweaty and exhausted.

“Good night, Boise!” Gerard shouted over the mic. “You’ve been a wonderful crowd!”

Boise, you thought. You suddenly remembered a promise you had made, years ago. You’d said that if the band performed in Boise, you’d tell them after the show who you had a crush on. You hoped nobody else remembered that you’d said that. You definitely didn’t want to make good on your promise now.

You, Mikey, Gerard, Ray, and Frank all bowed and walked offstage together to the cheers of your fans. As soon as you got backstage, you grabbed a bottle of water and started chugging it. Drumming for hours always took a lot out of you.

You watched as Mikey wiped at his sweat-soaked brow with a towel a crew member had given him. Sweat was dripping down his bare arms, the slow trickle tracing its way down his toned, muscular body…..

No, no, no, we are not thinking about that, you told yourself, looking away before Mikey could notice you’d been staring.

“You alright there, Y/N?” Gerard asked you. You spun around, not having realized he was right behind you.

“I…..I’m fine!” you squeaked. Gerard was Mikey’s brother, and another reason you hadn’t admitted your feelings. He’d always been very protective of his sibling…..what if he disapproved of you dating Mikey? You didn’t want to ruin your friendship with the singer.

“What was with that slipup out there tonight?” Gerard asked you, frowning.

“Shit, I’m sorry, Gee,” you sighed. “I….I don’t know what happened. I’ll practice double to make sure this doesn’t happen again.”

“Hey, don’t beat yourself up about it,” Frank said comfortingly, putting a calloused hand on your shoulder. “We all fuck up sometimes, ok? I’ve done worse. Hey, Mikey, remember when I broke that guitar string that one time and pouted about it for like two minutes before I started playing again?”

“……Mikey?” Frank said again, when the bassist didn’t look up. He’d been staring into space since you’d gotten backstage.

“…..Oh, sorry, Frank,” Mikey shook his head. “What did you say?”

“Dude, where is your head at?” Ray asked, raising an eyebrow. “You’re acting even weirder than Y/N tonight.”

“It’s nothing,” Mikey shook his head. “Listen, I’m thinking about walking around for a little bit before I get back on the bus, ok?”

“Uh, alright,” Gerard shrugged. “I’m headed to the bus now, though – I need a nap after all that singing. My vocal chords are so sore right now.”

“Dude, I feel you,” Frank agreed. “Ray and I could probably have a contest as to whose fingers are more fucked up after all that shredding.”

“What about you, Y/N?” Ray asked. “You coming with us, or hanging out here a little longer?”

“Is it ok if I walk with you?” you asked Mikey. His unusual behavior was worrying you.

“Yeah,” Mikey nodded. “I actually wanted to talk to you, Y/N, so that’s perfect.”

“See you guys later, then,” Gerard decided, and he, Frank, and Ray walked off.

Once you were alone with Mikey, you decided to man up, and asked him, “What did you want to talk to me about?”

“Well, I didn’t want to say anything in front of the guys,” Mikey said softly, “but……we’re in Boise.”

Your cheeks reddened. “You……you don’t mean…..”

“I do,” Mikey nodded. “I didn’t want to embarrass you in front of the rest of the band, but I want you to make good on your promise. I want you to tell me who you had a crush on, back then.”

“Does it matter?” you tried to fib. “I mean, I told Kerrang just the other day that I’m totally over that crush now, so…..”

“You were lying at the Kerrang interview,” Mikey interrupted. “Y/N, we’ve been friends, since, what, 2004? That’s seven years. Do you really think I don’t know you well enough by now to know when you’re telling the truth, and when you aren’t?”

You bit your lip, unsure what to say.

“I know that at that MTV interview, in 2006, you were telling the truth,” Mikey said seriously, his brown eyes boring into yours. “You did have feelings for one of us. And I think you still do.”

Did he know? you wondered. Was he already completely aware of your crush on him, and just screwing with you now? You didn’t think he was that type of guy.

“It’s Gerard, isn’t it?” Mikey guessed.

Wait, what?
You burst out laughing. “Hell no!” you wheezed. “Dude, Gerard is like my brother!”

“Well…..that’s a feeling I’m very familiar with,” Mikey joked.

“Why would you think it was him?” you asked, confused.

“I mean, why not?” Mikey shrugged. “He’s definitely the one who always has the most girls at every show who are, like, ‘ooh, I wanna marry him and have his babies’!”

“You have fans like that, too,” you pointed out. “Did you not see that fangirl near the barricade earlier who was shouting at you?”

“I don’t really know what to do with attention like that,” Mikey blushed. “I’m not like Gerard, who has all this charisma and confidence, and shakes his ass onstage to make all the girls squeal. I guess that’s because I never got as many girls as he did.”

“Aw, really?” you frowned. “I would’ve thought that a lot of girls back home in New Jersey would’ve loved a guy like you.”

“Not really,” Mikey admitted. “Maybe it’s those nerdy glasses I used to wear, you know? They made me look like a dork.”

“The night of that interview,” you remembered, “you asked me if I thought you looked better since you’d had laser eye surgery.”

“You never really said whether I did or not,” Mikey recalled. “I guess even with my newfound good looks, I still couldn’t impress you.”

“What are you talking about?” you asked, hating to hear Mikey sound so self-critical.

“Half the reason I got the surgery,” Mikey confessed, “was because I thought it would give me a better shot with you.”

Your jaw dropped. Mikey……was trying to get with you? Had he been, all of this time?!

“You really didn’t know?” Mikey cried, eyes wide. “Are you serious? I always thought my crush on you was so humiliatingly obvious. After you didn’t give me a straight answer that night, I always figured it was because you were just too nice to tell me that your crush was somebody else.”

“Mikey, that’s not why I didn’t tell you looked better without glasses,” you said, hand over your mouth. “The reason I didn’t say I agreed with the fans who thought you’d ‘become’ cute was because you were always cute to me.”

“Do you…..really mean that?” Mikey asked, looking like he wished he had his Kobra Kid helmet with him so he could hide his beet-red face.

“Yes,” you said, knowing you couldn’t hide your feelings any longer. “Mikey, when I met you right before we started touring in support of Revenge, I fell in love with the glasses-wearing, nerdy kid you were then. I thought you were adorable, just the way you were. You didn’t need to change for me.”

“You would’ve wanted to date me, even before the laser surgery?” Mikey gasped.

“Yes,” you confessed. “You were already so handsome, and after you stopped wearing glasses, the confidence it seemed to give you just made you even more gorgeous. Since then, you’ve gotten more attractive to me every day. I…..I want you, Mikey! I always have!”

You couldn’t believe you’d actually said it. You’d been burying your feelings for so long, scared of what he would say, what Gerard and the boys would say, what the fans would say……

But, now, all that mattered to you was what Mikey said next.

“I want you, too, Y/N,” Mikey said, “and I have for a very long time.” With that, he grabbed you and kissed you on the mouth.

You were surprised – the old Mikey, from a few years ago, would never have the guts to pull a move like that. But, you were glad he’d evolved as a person, and become braver recently. You were glad he’d found the courage to finally ask you, point-blank, how you really felt about him. Because of that, now you were able to feel exactly how soft his lips were.

The kiss felt so good, and your body responded to it. You wrapped your arms around him and pulled him ever closer, deepening the kiss passionately.

“Do you want to tell the band that we’re dating when we get back to the bus?” Mikey asked, when, panting for breath, you finally released him. “Or do you want to keep it between us for now?”

“I’ve hid the way I felt about you for long enough,” you decided. “If we’re going to be together, let’s be proud of it.”

Mikey agreed with this, and the two of you walked out of the venue together towards the tour bus, hands blatantly intertwined. You only wished you’d been brave enough to become his sooner, so you could have felt his hands, rough from practicing with his instrument, before tonight.

No matter, you decided. You were about to make up for lost time.