𝐉𝐮𝐝𝐞 𝐁𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐚𝐦
I have to do better
•••

Our game ended with a draw 1-1, but if you asked me we lost that match. I tried to keep my energy up despite my true feelings. Even in the post match interview, I remained positive but I was truly disappointed on the inside. But like my dad usually tells me, 'keep your head up even when it's hard to'

"Where's Ester?" Brahim asked as I stood with Cama and Vini. We were all ready to go back to the hotel. I just wanted to have a nice shower, rewatch the highlights then call it a night.

"No clue" I said, Cama and Vini both said the same.

"I haven't seen Chad around, is he still with the team?" Cama asked.

"Yeah, he was suspended but he's back now" Vini said, as he picked up his bag so we could walk to the bus.

"Why do you know that?" I questioned, honestly I didn't care much for the lad, so if I stopped seeing him I probably wouldn't notice until someone brought it to my attention.

"He wants to fuck Chad" Cama teased, which made me laugh.

"Exactly, why else is he keeping tabs on him?" I laughed.

"I don't find you guys funny," he said, laughing as well as he fanned us off.

As the bus came into view, I caught sight of Brielle. I never understood why she didn't bother to show up last night. When I texted her, I didn't receive a response either. I couldn't exactly show up at her room after a certain hour, especially with Ester as her roommate – I didn't want to run into her.

"How does Brielle manage to look so good in her uniform" Vini said looking at Brielle was busy checking things off on whatever she had on her clip board.

"Yeah, don't talk about her like that, mate," I said quickly, shooting him a look.

"Are you jealous?" Cama teased, and they both laughed, but I wasn't finding it amusing. At all.

"Wait, you and Brielle?" Cama asked, his tone filled with astonishment.

Vini raised an eyebrow, a mischievous glint in his eye. "The way you're defending her makes it seem like there's something going on."

I sighed, feeling a bit flustered. "Because something is going on."

Vini shrugged, "Well, if you say so. But I still think she looks damn good in that uniform."

"Mate, I'm serious. I'm not playing" I said stopping. They both stopped looked at each other then at me.

Cama's eyes widened in surprise. "Why didn't you tell us?"

I shrugged, feeling a bit sheepish. "Like I said it's fresh, ofcourse it's not going to be highlighted right now, nor do I expect it to get out there like that as yet."

Vini looked thoughtful for a moment before speaking. "Well, if you're serious about her, then I'll respect that. Sorry for joking around."

I nodded, appreciating his understanding. "Thanks, man. I know it's a bit out of the blue."

I couldn't deny it – Brielle did look incredible in her uniform. She's surrounded by horny footballers I'm sure every one of them already had that thought.

"But if you're really serious. I'd stop messing around you might never know what's waiting on that slip up" Vini said.

I furrowed my brow at his cryptic words, a sense of unease settling in the pit of my stomach. His warning felt ominous, as if he knew something I didn't.

"Sounds like you're not telling me something," I remarked, eyeing Vini closely as he made his way onto the bus.

He glanced back at me, his expression guarded. "Just keep your eyes open, mate. Be good to her. That's all I'm saying."

With a heavy sigh, I climbed onto the bus and took a seat, the weight of Vini's words lingering in my mind. What did he mean by "keep your eyes open"? And why did his warning feel so ominous?

As the bus rumbled back towards the hotel, I couldn't shake the feeling of unease that settled over me. Brielle's face flashed through my mind, her warm smile and sparkling eyes bringing a sense of comfort amidst the uncertainty.

But as I glanced around at my teammates, laughter and chatter filling the air, I couldn't help but wonder what was I missing. Why didn't she show up last night? Did she somehow found out about my slip up?

The questions terrorized me, filling me with a sense of urgency to talk to her as soon as possible. I needed to know if something was wrong, if there was anything I could do to help.

As we pulled into the hotel parking lot, I made a beeline for Brielle. I found her standing by the entrance, her expression distant and preoccupied.

"Baby, can we talk?" I asked, my voice low and urgent.

She glanced up at me, her eyes clouded with uncertainty. "Now's not really a good time, Jude. I'm kind of tired."

I reached out to gently grasp her arm, my fingers tingling with the need to reassure her. "Please, Brielle. Something's clearly bothering you, and I need to know what it is. We can talk privately, just you and me."

She hesitated for a moment, her gaze flickering with indecision. But then she nodded, a resigned expression crossing her features. "Okay, let's go somewhere quiet."

We found a secluded corner of the hotel lobby, away from the prying eyes and ears of our teammates. Brielle sank into a nearby chair, her hands twisting nervously in her lap.

I took a deep breath, steeling myself for whatever she was about to tell me. "Brielle, what's going on? You've been acting differently lately, and I'm worried about you."

"Jude, I don't have time to waste or play games. By now, you should know that Athena called you out online, exposing the fact that you had some girl in your hotel room at your last game. I don't deal with liars or waste men, so let me know where you stand." She said calmly but rather seriously.

Wow. I-

I had expected her to be screaming at but she wasn't, this was far more dangerous. I knew I was on thin line. She was not play any games.

Wasteman? That stung.

I hadn't even realized Athena had gone public with that. I won't even ask how Athena knows that or what she said because I knew enough when it comes on to how she operates. I've been so caught up in trying to focus on the game and my responsibilities that I hadn't been keeping up with social media.

"I didn't know Athena did that," I admitted.

"Well she did she was even comparing the background of pictures the girl posted from the hotel to the ones Vini posted. So please, don't hit me with any lies right now" she said.

"And I'm not going to lie to you. I did have a girl in my room, but I know Athena and without fully knowing what she said, I can tell you it's nothing like what she's making it out to be. We kissed, but that was it. I swear. I'm sorry"

Brielle studied me for a moment, her expression unreadable. "You kissed her? You guys don't have history?"

"It was a silly decision I swear. I'm so sorry Brielle. We don't have any history, we follow each other on IG but that was the first time I met her face to face" I pleaded.

"Wow Jude, and that's what you do?" she shook her head, "I want to believe you. But I need you to be honest with me. Is there anything else I should know? Was it seriously just a kiss?"

I shook my head, my throat tight with emotion. "Yes, hardly even lasted, that's everything. I messed up. I should have been mindful of how my actions could affect you. Affect us. I wasn't thinking."

She sighed, running a hand through her hair. "I appreciate your honesty. But this...I feel like I can't trust you now, I can't afford to look like an idiot or worst like Athena. You're not going to drive me to that point Bellingham"

Now I'm Bellingham.

Her words cut me to the core, the weight of her disappointment heavy on my shoulders. "Brielle, I'll do whatever it takes to earn back your trust. I care about you more than anything, and I hate the thought of losing you because of my stupid mistakes."

She looked up at me, her eyes softening with understanding. "I want to believe that you're sincere. But actions speak louder than words. You leave for two minutes, I spoke to you everyday and every night you were gone and you still found time to be dumb? You need to show me that you're committed to being honest and trustworthy."

I nodded, "I will. I promise. From now on, I'll be completely transparent with you. No secrets, no lies. Just honesty and respect. Just you and me."

"Okay. But know that trust isn't easily won back. It's going to take time and effort on both our parts."

I reached out to take her hand, squeezing it gently. "I'm willing to do whatever it takes. I won't let you down again. I won't let you go"

"And remember," she said softly, "you promised to catch me if I fall. Right now, I feel like I'm lying flat on my forehead. I know there will be temptations, but I need to know that you're giving this a fair shot by resisting them."

I met her gaze, determination burning in my eyes. "I will baby. I won't let anything or anyone come between us again. I'm in this for the long haul, and I'm being so serious. I'll do whatever it takes to prove it to you."

She released a sigh "I like you a lot and I'm not afraid to admit that. But I swear, I will not be taken for an idiot"

"I know, the feelings are mutual I like you a lot too. It's not my intentions to hurt you. I won't slip up again" I said, I actually meant it.

"Okay" she sighed.

"Are we good?" I asked.

"Yea, new leaf" she said, I finally felt like I could breathe again.

"Thank you" I smiled, "off topic, but did Vini say anything to you?"

"Anything about what?" She questioned.

"Has he ever been forward with you?" I asked.

"Like, tried to flirt or get with me?" She asked still sounding unsure.

"Yes" I responded.

"No, he hasn't. But I've always thought how nice he was to me. I once told Chad he was my favourite, but that was before you and I became good" she laughed, I wasn't laughing,  I didn't find that funny. At all.

"Why'd you ask?" She questioned.

"Uh no specific reason" I said with a little smile. I think Vini actually likes her.

My mind began replaying some moments:

"Jood Bellingham" He said, which made me laugh again because of his accent.

"Vini Vinicius Junior" I said animatedly.

"You two are idiots" Camavinga said as he walked past us.

"He's just jealous because we don't have a cool way to say his name" I shrugged.

"You saw the new team assistant right, why would they hire someone that pretty?" Vini asked.

Ahh the new girl.

I turned my attention back to her, she seemed a little down, less excited than I noticed earlier. I'm not sure why but Vini was right.

—

"Briana, Brittany... I don't remember," I replied with a shrug. "Not important. Anyway, she has a nasty attitude," I added, dismissing the topic.

Rodrygo chuckled, nodding in agreement. "Yeah, she does seem a bit uptight," he remarked, glancing back in Brielle's direction.

"It's her first day, a new job can be intimidating and Jude you didn't make that easier" Vini said, which caught me off guard.

"Rest, she's not going to let you hit fam," I laughed, "He's proper glazing innit. She's uptight, and that's just it. We don't need to be discussing her anyway," I said, dismissing the topic once more.

—

But then, as if unable to contain himself any longer, Chad let out a nervous laugh, "I may have teased her a bit about you, then I told her about your girlfriend so she didn't get her hopes up," he admitted, his laughter stopped when he noticed I wasn't laughing.

My blood ran cold at his confession. My grip tightened on the bottle of water in my hand, my knuckles turning red. I could barely contain the anger as his words sank in more. "You did, what?" My voice low and dangerously quiet. I could see Vini at the corner of my eye, looking as if he was ready to jump in at any moment.

Chad shifted uncomfortably under my gaze, the colour draining from his face as he realized the gravity of his actions. "I-I mentioned your girlfriend," he stammered, his voice barely above a whisper.

I shook my head releasing a deep sigh. "I don't have a girlfriend and you're going to regret opening that big mouth of yours" I said patting his shoulder before walking off.

—

"You told a lie on Chad because he told me you weren't single?" She said looking really disappointed.

"What are you talking about?" I looked at her confused. What on earth was she even talking about?

"You had nothing to do with Chad suspension?" She asked once more.

"Chad was suspended?" I asked before taking a sip of my water, "I hadn't even noticed the geezer was missing"

—

"I havent seen Chad around, is he still with the team?" Cama asked.

"Yeah, he was suspended but he's back now" Vini said, as he picked up his bag so we could walk to the bus.

"Why do you know that?" I questioned, honestly I didn't care much for the lad, so if I stopped seeing him I probably wouldn't notice unless someone brought it to my attention.

—

"I didn't know Athena did that," I admitted.

"Well she did she was even comparing the background of pictures the girl posted from the hotel to the ones Vini posted. So please, don't hit me with any lies right now" she said.

—

I leaned back into the chair releasing a little laugh.

Ahh, Vini you tricky little fucker. I walked right into your trap.