𝐉𝐮𝐝𝐞 𝐁𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐚𝐦
Open Arms - Athena's Anthem
•••

Athena stood on my doorstep, her mascara smudged and tears streaking her face, with her hair a mess. It was the worst I had ever seen her since we met.

Unable to turn her away, I invited her inside, and now she sat on my couch, her eyes pleading as she begged me to take her back. "Can we please just talk about this?" She pleaded.

"Ats, I don't understand why you're doing this. We broke up months ago. Why are you acting like it just happened?" I asked, handing her some napkins to wipe away her tears.

"Sure, take the relationship away, but what do you mean you're not fucking me anymore? That's a little extreme don't you think?" Her words were punctuated by another burst of tears.

I stared at her in disbelief. "Seriously? You can't be serious."

"But I am," she sobbed, her voice breaking.

I struggled to find the right words, stunned by her insistence, her actions.

"You know eventually the day would come when we'd stop. Things were getting too complicated, then you and these Instagram p—"

"Okay, I'll shut up this time. I promise to keep it on the down low," she interrupted, desperation evident in her eyes as she pleaded with me to change my mind.

"It's not just about being quiet," I began, trying to choose my words carefully. "You should see yourself as more than just a hook-up. You can't devalue yourself-

"I don't care! Who needs self respect or self value? Jude I don't care. I need you" she sobbed.

I sighed, "You're a beautiful girl, with your own charm. And that charm deserves to be appreciated by someone who values you for more than just physical intimacy. If we keep going down this path, neither of us will be able to move on, and we both deserve better than that. We have to let go"

Her expression shifted from desperation to frustration. "Jude, you're being so unfair. When the relationship ended, I didn't fight for it because I could see that you didn't want it anymore. But I hoped that if we kept hooking up, you'd change your mind, so no I didn't see this day eventually coming because I thought we would get back together, you're the only one I want, I was waiting for you," she argued.

I shook my head, feeling the weight of the situation bearing down on me. "You can't fuck your way into a man's heart, Athena. It doesn't work like that, at least not for me." I explained gently.

"I wish we could just work our issues out. Why can't we? We both love each other," she pleaded.

I sighed heavily, I looked at her, my heart heavy with the knowledge of what I had to say next. "No," I said softly, meeting her gaze. "You love me."

I could see the hurt and disbelief in her eyes as my words registered with her. She shook her head, refusing to accept what I had just said. "You're just saying that to hurt me. You love me, and I know it," she insisted, her voice trembling with emotion.

Denial must've been easier for her but I knew I had to be honest with her, even if it hurt. "I'm not saying this to hurt you," I said gently, reaching out to take her hand in mine. "But the truth is, what we had was never love, at least not in the way you think. I don't think you love me, you love the idea of me and and what I can provide for you."

"Bullshit" she spat, "Jude, I do love you and not in that fucked up way that you think."

I sighed deeply, "I'm not happy and this has been really draining please, we have to let go of each other."

Her lower lip trembled, and I could see the tears welling up in her eyes again. "But...but we were together for so long, although we were on and off it still felt that way," she whispered, her voice barely above a whisper.

"I know, and I'll always cherish the memories we made together. But the truth is, our relationship was built on a shaky foundation from the start," I explained.

She shook her head, as if trying to deny the truth of my words. "we had something special, Jude. I know we did," she insisted, desperation creeping into her tone.

I squeezed her hand gently, trying to offer her some comfort. "We had moments, yes. But those moments were overshadowed by the toxicity of our relationship," I said softly. "We brought out the worst in each other. And that's not love."

Tears streamed down her cheeks, her shoulders shaking with the weight of her emotions. "But I thought... Jude literally if we just tried harder, we could make it work," she whispered, her voice filled with longing.

I sighed, feeling the weight of her pain as my own. "I know you wanted it to work. I did too. But sometimes, no matter how much we want something, it's just not meant to be," I said gently.

She looked at me, her eyes searching mine for some glimmer of hope. "So what now? I really have to let you go?" she said, her voice barely audible.

I took a deep breath, steeling myself for what I had to say next. "Yes," I said quietly. "So we can give ourselves the chance to find happiness apart from each other. Because as much as it hurts right now, I truly believe that there's someone out there who can love you in the way you deserve to be loved."

She nodded, "It won't matter, they'll never be you," she said softly, wiping away her tears. "It's just hard to let go of something that's been such a big part of my life for so long."

I reached out and pulled her into a hug, holding her close as we both let ourselves grieve for the loss of what could have been. Despite the pain, I knew that letting go was the first step toward healing and finding happiness again.

"I'm sorry, Ats," I said.

"When you come to your senses. Just pray it won't be too late, I won't wait forever" She said getting up making her way to the door then left.

As Athena left, a heavy silence filled the room, leaving me alone with my thoughts.  I really hope she finds the love she deserves, she needs to close her heart to me, because waiting for me is pointless.

I released a sigh, feeling the tension slowly ebbing away as she left. That conversation had been intense, and it left me feeling drained. Despite the intensity, I couldn't deny that I harboured genuine feelings for Athena. But as I reflected on her words, I realized that those feelings might not be as deep as I had initially believed.

Eventually, she will see that what we had was nothing more than infatuation, not the kind of love that could withstand the test of time.

Turning my attention to my phone, I noticed a new message from Brielle. My heart skipped a beat at the sight of her name. She wanted to talk, and without hesitation, I responded, asking if she was free and if I could pick her up.

As I waited for her response, my mind raced with thoughts. Brielle had a way of stirring something inside of me, something I had never experienced before. With her, every interaction was electric.

I couldn't help but compare the way I felt about Brielle to how I felt about Athena. While my feelings for Athena were genuine in the beginning, they paled in comparison to the intensity of what I felt for Brielle. Brielle had a way of making my heart race in a way that Athena never could. It was as if she had unlocked something within me, something I hadn't even realized was there.

In that moment, I realized that I didn't just like Brielle – I was falling for her, hard and fast.  I didn't know that men could get butterflies until I met Brielle, that's really scary when I think about it.

A new notification popped up. She replied, saying that she was free and that I could pick her up whenever I was ready. She sent her location, upon checking it wasn't too far from my house. I didn't bother to ring Arthur, I was too anxious and I just needed to see her so picked up one of my car keys and made my way to the address.

As I parked the car outside the house, I noticed it was the same one I had dropped her off at the night after the club. I said a silent prayer, hoping that whatever transpired would be in my favour. The thought of facing disappointment on top of everything else that had happened today felt like it would be too much to bear.

As I sat in the car, I couldn't shake the feeling of my heart pounding in my chest, each beat echoing loudly in my ears. I took a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves as I sent her a quick message to let her know that I had arrived. The minutes felt like an eternity as I waited for her.

Finally, the door swung open, and there she was. I froze as I took in the sight of her. She looked breathtakingly beautiful, wearing a grey mini skirt that hugged her curves in all the right places, paired with a crisp white top. Her hair was out, the gentle breeze playing with the strands as she made her way towards the car.

I couldn't tear my eyes away from her as she approached, every step she took sending a jolt of electricity through my veins.  As she reached the car, she flashed me a warm smile, which was comforting as I took that for a good sign. "Hey," she greeted me.

"Hey," I replied, returning her smile as I took in the sight of her.

Without a word, she climbed into the car, and I felt a rush of warmth flood through me as she settled into the seat beside me.

"I can't lie, I didn't think this through," I admitted, feeling guilty for my lack of planning. "I was just so happy that you finally wanted to talk to me, so forgive me for the following questions. Do you want me to park here and talk, or do you want to go somewhere?"

"It's fine," she replied. "We can go somewhere."

I froze momentarily, racking my brain for a suitable place where we could have a private and meaningful conversation on such short notice. She must have noticed my hesitation.

"Your house can be an option," she suggested.

"My house?" I echoed, surprised by her suggestion. My mind flashed back to Athena.

"Unless..." she trailed off, leaving the sentence hanging in the air.

"No we can go, I just wasn't expecting you to say that" I admitted.

We drove to my house in silence. My mind was racing with questions and uncertainties, but I couldn't bring myself to voice any of them. Instead, I focused on the road ahead, stealing glances at her every now and then.

As we pulled into the driveway, I was more nervous than I am before an important game. I parked the car and turned to her, offering a hesitant smile.

"Here we are," I said, my voice betraying my nerves.

Brielle nodded, her expression unreadable. Without a word, I stepped out getting the door for her, then we made our way to the front door. I fumbled with my keys for a moment before unlocking the door and holding it open for her.

"Thanks," she murmured, giving me a small smile as she stepped inside.

I led the way, feeling a sense of apprehension wash over me. Everything felt different with Brielle here, as if the air itself had shifted to accommodate her presence. I led her to the living room, gesturing for her to take a seat on the couch, the couch that had the pieces of Athena's heart all over it. I tried to ignore that while I went to fetch some drinks.

As I rummaged through the kitchen, I can't believe how nervous I still was, this was so new to me. This conversation with Brielle felt like a pivotal moment, one that could potentially change our dynamics forever. I grabbed a bottle of wine, champagne, fruit juice and water along with the glasses and returned to the living room, handing one of the glasses to her before taking a seat beside her.

"I didn't remember to ask what you wanted, and I didn't want to make two trips so I brought options" I stated which made her laugh. If only she knew how nervous I was.

"Thanks," she said, flashing me a grateful smile as she rest the glass down and took the water then twisted the cap off the bottle.

I nodded in response, feeling the weight of the moment settle over us like a heavy blanket. We sat in silence for a moment, I took a deep breath, steeling myself for the conversation that was about to unfold.

"So, what did you want to talk about?" I finally asked, breaking the silence that hung between us.

She hesitated for a moment, her gaze fixed on the floor as if searching for the right words. When she finally spoke, her voice was quiet but steady.

"I wanted to talk about us," she began, "About where we stand and what we both want."

I felt a knot form in my stomach at her words, a sense of unease creeping over me. The conversation I've been dying to have, but I couldn't help but feel apprehensive about what she might say next.

"I've been thinking a lot about what you said the other day," she continued, her eyes meeting mine for the first time since we sat down. "About how you feel about me, and how I feel about you. And that I should get to know you"

I felt my heart skip a beat at her words, a surge of hope blossoming within me. Could it be that Brielle felt the same way about me as I did about her? The thought was almost too much to bear, but I couldn't help but cling to it like a lifeline in the storm.

"I know that things have been complicated between us," she went on. "But I can't shake the feeling that there's something between us, something real and undeniable."

I searched her eyes for any sign of uncertainty, any hint that she might not feel the same way as I did. But all I found was honesty and vulnerability, a rawness that mirrored my own emotions.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is," Brielle continued, her voice soft but resolute, "I want to give us a chance. To see where this thing between us could go."

"I want that too," I whispered, reaching out to take her hand in mine. "More than anything."

"But I have a confession," she started, "I kept running away because I don't want to waste my time. I'm afraid you'll get bored and switch me out for someone else. You have so much options"

"I understand," I said softly, my voice filled with empathy. "And I want you to know that you have nothing to worry about. I can't have options, if I only have eyes for you, none of these girls compare to you."

She looked at me, her eyes searching mine for any sign of deceit. But all she found was sincerity and honesty, a genuine desire to make things work between us.

"Please believe me when I say I don't want anyone else, Brielle. I only want you."

"I'm sorry for doubting you," she whispered, her voice barely audible above the soft hum of the air conditioning. "I just... I'm just afraid of getting hurt"

I reached out to gently caress her cheek, my touch tender and reassuring. "And you think I'm not?" I murmured, my voice soft yet filled with conviction. "Brielle, I literally have butterflies in my stomach every time I see you. I didn't even know men got those."

Her eyes widened in surprise, her gaze locked with mine as she processed my words.

"I get your fear because I have them too," I confessed, my voice steady. "You're really beautiful, Brielle. I know you have options too. For fucksake you brought one to the game"

"You ran him away so," she said softly.

I blinked, caught off guard by her statement, and shifted uncomfortably on the couch. "I did what now?"

"He saw the comments you left under my pictures and decided he was not going to stand in your way," she explained.

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at the mention of him, instead choosing to focus on her and the opportunity that lay before me. "I'm not even going to comment on that," I replied, I had nothing good to say. "But good. Is it safe to ask you out on an official date now?"

"Yes," she said simply, her voice filled with certainty.

Without hesitation, I shifted closer to her, closing the distance between us until our shoulders brushed against each other. Our eyes met, a silent understanding passing between us as we sat on the brink of something new and exciting.

Unable to resist any longer, I let my gaze drift down to her lips, feeling a surge of desire course through me at the sight of them. They were full and inviting, begging to be kissed, and I found myself unable to deny the pull of attraction that drew me to her.

With a trembling hand, I reached out to cup her cheek, "Can I kiss you?" I whispered, my voice barely above a whisper.

Instead of answering with words, she leaned in closer, closing the remaining distance between us until our lips were mere inches apart until they met.

"If there's anymore of 'hims' get rid of them now. I need that roster cleared" I said as moved to her neck placing gentle kisses.

"I don't have a roster, it's only you" she said.

"Good, because I don't share," I said firmly, a hint of possessiveness creeping into my voice.

She was about to respond when her phone buzzed with a notification. Her expression shifted as she glanced down at the screen, and I could tell something was wrong.

"What is it?" I asked, my curiosity piqued by her sudden change in demeanor.

"It's an email about my internship," she replied, "I'm in my second year at Uni. I applied for an internship that I've worked really hard for. I have my heart set on getting it."

"That's great news," I said, trying to offer her some encouragement. "Open it up."

"You don't understand," she said, her voice filled with anxiety. "This is really important to me. There's only one spot available, and if I don't get it, I'll be devastated."

She looked up at me, her eyes reflecting uncertainty. "What if I don't get it?" she whispered.

"If you don't get it, it doesn't diminish your worth or your abilities," I assured her.

With a deep breath, she tapped on the notification and opened the email. Her eyes scanned the contents, and for a moment, the room was silent as I waited for her reaction.

Her eyes widened before she covered her mouth.