I follow Mikasa to an empty guest room in the castle that consists of a burgundy and white bed, a dark dresser with a candle, a chandelier with lights above the bed, a burgundy rug, a vanity across from the bed, a small bookshelf resting beside the vanity that matches the dresser, and dark wooden floors with tan walls and white trim. A giant, square, French styled window covers most of the wall across from the door itself and offers for nice natural lighting from the moon. She shuts the dark brown wooden door behind us with a soft click, letting go of the black doorknob as I walk over to sit on the bed. I glance over at Mikasa and she smiles and brushes a lock of hair behind her ear before coming over and sitting next to me.

"It's true that I can show one their previous memories, even if they were lost," Mikasa starts as she looks me in the eyes, "but it can come with dangerous consequences. Your emotions may be out of kilter for a while and you'll know things you may have long forgotten, which could shape how you think now and what you think of people in your life. Are you sure you want me to do this?"

"I'm sure," I nod and swallow thickly, my eyes searching hers, "I need to know everything I'm missing for myself."

"Alright," Mikasa breathes out before she shifts so that her entire body is facing me and she raises her hands to the sides of my head, "just...relax...and don't think about it. When it happens, you'll know. And when it happens, just let go."

"Let go?" I ask.

"Let go of yourself," Mikasa says and purses her lips as a golden glow begins to swirl around her hands.

My eyes widen and I inhale sharply as I feel like the entire room is spinning and I meet Mikasa's eyes before I find myself leaning backwards and blacking out.

August 13, 2009

I played tag with Reine today in our usual spot, but then it started to rain so we had to run back through the city. Her mom got pretty worried, but she let us get hot cross buns as she walked with her long black coat over her head, shielding us both from the weather. She sighed and wrung out her long lavender locks as we ate our food happily, but she smiled upon seeing us happy. I know she always means well, but she can sometimes be a bit over-protective.

August 26, 2009

Reine's hair turned lavender today. Her mom told her that that happens to the people born with brown hair in their family. Something about their Iegashyia bloodline and how their genetics mutate slightly as they age. That explains why the same thing happened to Dimitri a few years ago.

September 4, 2009

Reine's father finally let us have our first training session-- but with wooden sparring swords. Reine said something about wanting to use a real sword, particularly a long and sleek one that makes sharp cuts, and her father just laughed at her enthusiasm. He promised we'd get there eventually and that he could definitely see her wielding a weapon like that in the future. He told me I did well and patted me on the head, his lavender eyes bright in contrast to his raven colored hair.

October 12, 2009

I saw something I shouldn't have today. Reine's mom seemed like she was being pressured by some angry brunette man. I remember that when she noticed me entering their living room, looking for Reine, the man noticed me too. He had furious red eyes. I never did find out what he wanted because Yvonne, Reine's mom, shooed me away. All I heard as I was leaving was something about him demanding to see his daughter, but that didn't make any sense to me.

October 24, 2009

I pieced together that Elespeth isn't Damian's, Reine's father, daughter. I overheard Reine's mom saying to Dimitri how she felt guilty and he assured her that it wasn't her fault. He said something about how she was...attacked? That doesn't sound right, but it was something like that. He said that everyone loves Elespeth either way and that she's a blessing, not something to be guilty about, especially since it wasn't her fault.

November 20, 2009

Reine practiced with me more today. We've been doing that a lot lately, that or just hanging out together. We ended up playing tag again in our favorite field. She made me promise today to never leave her. I don't see why I ever would.

January 30, 2010

Dimitri's been going off on his own lately to visit different towns. He used to do this before, but he's been doing it a lot more now. I wonder why. It makes Reine sad to not have him around as much, but she understands that he's getting older and has more responsibilities.

March 5, 2010

Reine and I participated in a spring festival with something about the moon. I don't really remember what she said it was about, but the fireworks were fun. I thought I saw that strange man who was threatening Yvonne hanging around, but I could've been imagining it.

May 16, 2010

My parents finally got back from their trip across the country today. They left at the beginning of August last year and entrusted me to Reine's family, which is why I've been living with them. They said it was for business and that they might be gone a while, but I didn't expect them to be gone that long. My mom's blonde hair seemed more bleached than usual, probably from the sun from wherever she was, and her green eyes seemed tired but happy to see me. My dad ran a hand through his sandy hair as he took his sheathed sword off and placed it on the dining room table, his hazel eyes flickering over to me before his lips curved up in a smile.

"Hey, kiddo," he beamed and came over to me, ruffling my hair, "did you miss us?"

December 24, 2010

Reine told me she loves me today. I told her I loved her too. Of course I loved her, she was my best friend.

July 20, 2011

Elespeth died today. I tried to help, but I was dragged away shortly after. All I wanted was to get back to Reine and Dimitri, but I couldn't escape whoever was holding me. I managed to look at my captor and found it to be Reine's mom, which made me thoroughly confused. I told her we should go back and help them, but she shook her head and cried silently as she led me further and further away from the battle. I didn't know why she'd want to do that. She said something about me being more important, but how could I be more important than her own children, or anyone for that matter? I never valued one human life over another, I was taught not to.

I remember I was knocked over the head and I blacked out. Whenever I woke up, I saw a beautiful lavender haired girl hovering over me with worried lavender eyes. I remember I heard the sound of guns and cannons going off, the sky looking like burning flames and ashes as I was lying in the field, barely conscious. And as I slipped further into unconsciousness once again, I remember I felt something soft press against my lips and I thought I heard her whisper to me.

"I love you."

I jolt awake, breathing heavily as I glance around the room and my eyes focus. I notice that Mikasa is no longer in the room with me and I run a hand through my hair as my eyes frantically search the area. My breathing eventually steadies and I climb off the bed, go to the door and swing it open, heading down the hall with a clear destination in mind.

"Gabriel!" Kaltrina shouts as she runs up from behind me in the hallway, "there you are! We've been looking everywhere for you! Ayette's--"

"Hang on, where's Reine?" I ask, turning to face Kaltrina with a steady gaze.

"She's in the same guest room she's been using. She went to go grab a new outfit for Ayette, why?" Kaltrina's eyebrows furrow in confusion.

"Thanks," I breathe out and nod in appreciation before heading towards Reine's guest room, "I'll be there in a few minutes!"

"Okay?!" Kaltrina shouts back to me in confusion as I storm down the hallway and further away from her.

In my heart, I've known all along. I should've realized it sooner, but I guess all I needed was a push to send me over the edge. I should've realized...

I knock on Reine's door as soon as I come up to it and I breathe out to calm myself as the door opens and Reine looks at me in surprise, slightly taken aback as she's holding a folded set of clothes in her hands.

"Gabriel? What're you doing here? I was just about to--" Reine starts.

"Something that I should've done a long time ago," I breathe out.

Without another moment's notice, I take another step towards Reine, cup the side of her face, and crash my lips on to hers, making her gasp in surprise and drop the clothes onto the floor.

I should've realized sooner...

I should've realized that Reine is the one.