"...she made me feel normal, you know?" I continued the rant about the girl I did love to the girl I was supposed to love, a smile plastered on my face due to the alcohol in my bloodstream, "Because it sucks being a musician sometimes. You don't get a single moment to yourself. Everyone's watching your every move, critiquing you and judging you with every step you take. But with Ruby, I felt like I could me, truly me. I didn't have to worry about making a mistake, because I knew that no matter what, she'd always stick by my side. That is, until this whole thing happened." I waved my hand lazily between Sarah and me.

"What changed?" She inquired, taking a sip of her wine.

"I-I don't know," I stuttered in response, "I got high one night and said something I shouldn't have, and after that, she just...she acted like someone she's not. She totally overreacted and got all upset with me for no reason. Like, this wasn't my choice, you know?"

My date nodded her head, setting the empty wine glass down on the table and motioning over one of the waiters. He came over and asked what he could do for her. All she did was point to her glass, a smirk stretched across her face. The waiter shook his head up and down once before walking away to retrieve what she asked for.

"And then on top of that, she already seems to have found herself a new boyfriend."

Sarah slowly returned her attention to me, finding it difficult to break her gaze with the admittedly attractive man who had been assigned to wait on us that night. "Sorry, what?"

"I said she already seems to have found herself a new boyfriend," I repeated myself, crossing my arms and sitting back in my chair, "Like, we hadn't even broken up yet, and there she was with this...with this...actually, he seemed like a pretty cool guy. But I couldn't let him know that I thought that of him, you know?"

Sarah didn't even get the chance to contemplate thinking about answering my rhetorical question before I continued, my eyebrows furrowing together and my tone of voice changing, "But it's like...I had the world with her. The two of us were so happy together. We had things figured out. Not a lot of people do, but we did. I was going to marry her, we were going to have two kids one day - a boy and a girl, three years apart - and we were going to grow old together!" I pounded my hand down on the table, causing my date to jump in her seat. I heaved a sigh and dropped my hand into my lap, tears beginning to blur my vision. "But then I let my career get in the way of her and me and-" My eyes grew wide, my heart beat picking up as realization set in for me. "Holy shit."

"What?"

I stood up and pushed my chair in, explaining, "I-I've got to go, Sarah. This date was great, really, but-"

"Brendon, what are you doing?" She asked me, her voice hushed as to not attract any attention from other diners. Her efforts were pointless, though, because all eyes found their way to us the second I shot up out of my seat. "You can't leave. People will get the wrong message."

"But don't you get it? I don't care what people think. As long as I have Ruby, nothing else matters. I need to go home and make things right." And with that, I walked over to her and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Tell Pete I said fuck you, okay?" She opened her mouth to reply to me, but I didn't give her the chance before rushing out of the restaurant and stepping out onto the sidewalk, looking left and right and catching sight of a taxi coming down the street. I ran to the edge of the sidewalk and waved my hand, grabbing the attention of the driver. The car pulled up to the curb and I slipped into the backseat, my heart beating against my chest as I strapped the seat belt over my chest.

"Where to, son?" The driver asked.

"Take me to the bar on East Ave, will you?" I replied, my body unable to contain the excitement coursing through my veins and a smile breaking out on my face.

*****

I pushed through the doors of the bar Ruby worked at and, much like it was the other night, the bar was packed with people everywhere. I almost instantly spotted the swamped bar. I couldn't see the bartenders behind the bar, there were that many people around it. I straightened the front of my suit jacket and wove my way through the crowd, something I was getting better at with time. I broke out of the crowd and squeezed my way into the one around the bar, making my way to the front to get a better view of who was back there. I was expecting to see Ruby, but she was nowhere in sight. My eyebrows knit together in confusion.

"Brendon!" Cherry called out to me, making her way over and giving me priority, even though there were several other people who had been waiting longer than me to get served. "Someone looks fancy tonight."

I chuckled before rubbing behind my neck and asking, "Can you tell me where Ruby is?"

"Ruby? She didn't come in today. I thought you'd know that. She called in and asked for the day off. I thought you two might've been doing something."

I shook my head. "No, I actually haven't seen her all day. Do you have any idea where she might be?"

She shrugged his shoulders. "Beats me."

I sighed dejectedly before thanking her for her help, even though it wasn't much. She nodded her head in understanding before going to tend to her other customers. I left the bar and stepped out onto the less crowded sidewalk, letting out a long breath before dragging myself back to my apartment.

I fumbled with my keys for a little bit before slipping the key into the lock and pushing the door in.

I stepped into my apartment and turned on the lights, hoping that Ruby would be there on the couch, waiting for me to return home, mascara streaking her cheeks and her eyes red and puffy. She'd see me and jump to her feet, jumping at me and and pulling me into a hug, muttering how sorry she was for letting something so stupid come in between us. I'd then tell her that she has no reason to apologize, that I'm the one who's sorry, and promise her that I'll never let something like this ever happen again. We would kiss, and everything would be great again.

However, when I walked into the apartment, all I was met with was an empty loneliness. Ruby was nowhere in sight, aside from the photographs of her or the two of us scattered about the apartment.

I whimpered in disappointment and let my keys slip out of my hand, allowing gravity to pull me to my knees. I fell forward, resting my forehead on my crossed arms, and began to cry.

What had I done?