"Brendon?"

My head snapped up and I looked back over my shoulder to see Sarah standing over me, her arms folded over her chest. I swallowed the lump in my throat and wiped the tears from my eyes. "S-Sarah, w-w-what are you doing here? How'd you get here?"

"I got a taxi," She answered, "I called Pete and asked him what your address was and...yeah...that's how I got here. I just wanted to make sure that everything was okay, which it obviously isn't, so..."

I sniffled and picked myself up from the ground. "I...I just miss her so much, Sarah," I confessed, my inebriation making me sound less serious than I would've liked to, "She...She was my everything. You know that. I told you!"

"I know," She murmured, shortening the distance between her and me and embracing me in a much-needed hug, "I know."

"I-I just want to tell her how sorry I am," I mumbled into Sarah's shoulder, the scent of her perfume filling my nose, "I want to choose her instead of my job. I-I wouldn't b-b-be here if it...if it wasn't for her. I need her, Sarah. I need her."

Sarah heaved a sigh. "I know you do, Brendon, but..." She peeled herself out of the embrace and looked me dead in the eye, "...your life doesn't depend on this one girl. I get that you loved her and everything, but...you're a rock star. You have hundreds and thousands of girls willing to kill to be with you. So why are you stuck on this one girl?"

I hung my head, a horrible, guilty feeling washing over me. I was being selfish, thinking only about myself and not about my band members. This plan wasn't instituted to punish me, it was set in place to protect me, protect us. It wasn't just my career on the line because of this, it was three other people's careers, my friends' careers. I couldn't just be thinking about myself.

"I guess you're right," I mumbled.

She flashed me a weak smile before running a hand through my hair - like Ruby used to - and bringing it down to the side of my face, caressing my cheek. "Why don't we try this again tomorrow night? I'm thinking pizza and wings."

I feigned a grin. "Sounds good."

Sarah smiled before leaning in and giving me a quick kiss on the lips, stepping away from me with an even wider smile before turning around and leaving my apartment, closing the door behind her. I stood there for a moment or two, trying to process what had just happened, before retreating into the bedroom hallway to take a quick shower before going to bed.

*****

I was lying in the big lonely bed, my eyes closed but my mind wide awake. I couldn't fall asleep, no matter how hard I tried. I just couldn't stop thinking about the day's events, thanks to the buzz I had that was starting to wear off.

First I lost Ruby, then I was going on a date with Sarah, only for me to leave in the middle of the date and go to the bar to see Ruby, where she wasn't even at. I then went home, hoping to see Ruby there, but found Sarah, who told me the same thing everyone else seemed to be telling me - I needed to move on. It wasn't going to be easy, but it had to be done. I had friends to think about; their careers, their lives, their-

My eyes popped open, seeing the door to my bedroom being pushed in, a silhouette standing out in the hallway. I immediately shot up, holding the sheets up to my bare chest and asking, "Who's there?"

The silhouette's head snapped in my direction, muttering a "fuck" underneath their breath. Before they could retreat, I reached my hand out and yanked the chord to the table lamp I had sitting on my nightstand. Light filled the room and the identity of the silhouette was revealed.

"Ruby?"

She heaved a sigh and replied with a defeated, "Hey, Brendon."

"W-What are you doing here?" I asked her, "I-I thought you left."

"I did," My girlfriend replied, slipping her hands into the pockets of her skinny jeans and stepping into the room, "I mean, I am. I just...I wanted to get a few things, hopefully without you noticing."

I bit my lip and tilted my head down, looking into my lap. "Oh."

"Yeah," She murmured, an awkward, tension-filled silence falling over the two of us. She cleared her throat and asked, "Do you mind?" She pointed to the closet. "I'll be quiet, I promise."

I sat there for a little bit - remembering what I'd just told myself, about how this wasn't just about me - and nodded my head. She smiled in appreciation before heading over to the closet and ripping the doors open, revealing the shallow hole in the wall that contained both of our clothes, though with the way Ruby would occasionally wear my shirts (claiming they were more comfortable than hers), one would think the whole closet belonged to her.

After she pulled out a duffelbag from the bottom of the wardrobe and started pulling shirts off of their hangers and dropping them into the bag, I blurted out, "So I went to the bar today."

"Did you?" Ruby retorted, keeping her back to me.

"Cherry told me you took the day off. Why?" She froze in her place. "You never take days off."

"I wasn't feeling well," She murmured, hanging her head. She knew I knew she was lying, the two of us could never keep anything from each other. I didn't even have to urge her to give me the real reason before guilt washed over her and she admitted, "I was with Dallon, okay?"

"You were with Dallon?" I repeated, failing to hide the feeling of betrayal in my voice.

"It's not what you think it was, Brendon," My ex-girlfriend (or girlfriend, I didn't really know where we stood, or whether what happened that night was just an argument or an actual break up) tried to convince me, finally meeting my gaze, "Nothing happened between us. I only went to his house because I didn't have anywhere else to go when I left. All we did was talk, nothing else."

"How can I believe you?"

"Because I've never lied to you, Brendon!" She shouted, spinning around to face me, "We always told each other everything, but I guess I'm the only one who's been doing that!"

I scoffed, tossing the covers off of me and swinging my legs over the side of the bed so that I could stand up. I rose to my feet and walked over to her. "The only reason I lied to you, Ruby, was because I didn't want to hurt your feelings. How was I supposed to tell you that we couldn't be together because of Pete?"

The animosity displayed on her face dissipated, replaced with remorse. "Pete told you we couldn't be together?"

I sighed and shrugged my shoulders. "I don't know. He said the fans wouldn't like it if they found out about you and me." Before she could respond, I continued, "Look, Ruby, I-I didn't want this to happen. I didn't want to lose you and I'm sorry for reacting like I did." I brought my hands up and placed them on her shoulders, sliding them down to her upper arms. "Because the band is stupid," I confessed, "It's tearing us apart."

I watched as Ruby's hazel eyes began to glisten with tears. "But Brendon, the band's the only thing that matters to you. You've put your heart and soul into it, you can't just give it up."

"Well if keeping the band means losing you..." I pulled her closer, shortening the distance between the two of us, "...then you can count me out." I leaned in and was about to kiss her when she pushed herself away from me.

"Brendon, no, don't do this," She muttered, "I know the band's important to you, and...and if me not being part of the picture is something that has to happen for this band to be a thing, then I'm okay with that."

"But I'm not!" I argued, "Don't you see that? You matter more to me than the band, hands down."

Ruby's cheeks grew a deep shade of red. "I think that's sweet, Brendon, but you and I both know that this band thing is something you've wanted for a long time. So..." The corner of her lips curled up into a smirk. "...why don't we do this?" She took my hands in hers and gave them a slight shake. "You do whatever Pete wants you to do, and I'll figure something out on my own. When this has all blown over, we'll meet again and..." She yanked me towards her, our bodies colliding and our lips centimeters apart. "...we'll pick up where we left off. Sound good?"

"Depends," I retorted, matching her facial expression, "Where are we leaving off?"

She didn't even give me a verbal response before connecting our close-together lips and bringing her hands up so that her arms were around my neck. I picked her up off of the ground and stumbled back onto the bed, locked at the lips as we tugged at each other's clothes.