I can't feel her

~~~

"quick child we don't have much time" Sheidheda was panicked for the first time, no longer calm and collected.
"they're trying to delete me, get in the way of all our work we need a- aha that's it! we need an ultimatum!" he decided

"Sheidheda what's going on" Leoni was becoming just as weak in her own mind as her body was in real life

"i'm going to make a kill switch. the only way for them to get rid of me will to get rid of them all" he decided frantically

"all? you're not serious?" Leoni protested
"you'd be erasing my family, our family, our bloodline!" she tried to fight

"i don't have time for your caring shenanigans stay quiet!" Sheidheda ordered

"no" she used all her strength to push herself up
"that is my sister and my mother you can't-"

"I CAN AND I WILL" he banged his fists on the table
"I DESERVE MY RULE BACK I HAVE WAITED SO LONG" Sheidheda roared

"no no...you don't want me to get revenge at all. YOU'RE JUST AS BAD AS THE PRIMES" Leoni screamed with all her strength

"shout all you like Leok what's done is done" he laughed manically. Leoni knew her people would pull that kill switch to save her, she couldn't let that happen!

"no no NO NO" Leoni forced herself awake and when she did she was strapped down to a bed

~~~

"get off me-GET OFF ME GET OFF, LET ME GO" Leoni screamed manically

"Gaia i need a decision" Raven hurried

"DON'T DO IT IT'LL KILL THEM IT'LL KILL MY SISTER PLEASE PLEASE NO DON'T DO THIS PLEASE RAVEN DON'T"

"do it do it now!" Gaia told Raven

"NO PLEASE" Leoni screamed, her voice breaking.

"stop what you're doing right now" Russel demanded as he appeared in the lab doorway with 4 guards all pointing loaded guns
"the girl comes with me. right now move!" Russel ordered and Jackson untied Leoni passing her over to Russel although reluctant

"no no Gaia don't do it please don't do it don't do this to me, to us" Leoni whispered making her people's hearts shatter. Leoni was hauled out of the medbay and pushed through the halls. she was so weak her head started spinning. she went from crying to laughing
"they didn't finish" she laughed
"i still have them" she collapsed completely into the guards arms as they lifted her through the halls to the command centre. she was shoved into a chair and tied to it. Russel watched out a large window as his family were plummeted into space. Floated. Leoni felt his pain after loosing her mother, brother and now father to the same heartless death. he turned around to look at Leoni. his eyes ran over her manic state as she resisted against the ties. she sat in the dress he'd supplied for her, making her as much Prime as she would allow not that she had any choice in this particular outfit. she looked beautiful even when trying to kill him. he walked over to her calmly, always so fucking calm it made Leoni want to scream

"bring her closer" Russel told his guards and they rolled the chair closer to him
"i want Clarke to hear this" he muttered to himself as he pressed buttons on a PA system

"so the bitch is alive" Leoni laughed. what Russel couldn't see was that she was fading in and out of personalities. one minute she was herself the next she was Sheidheda
"you know you think she took everything from you but you're still alive. you still rule a kingdom." Leoni was cut off
"i can save both of those for you" Sheidheda enticed through her

"what I want is REVENGE!" Russel yelled at Leoni

"Clarke will mourn Leok's death that's no lie but seeing as i already have her what are you really accomplishing? it hurts Clarke more to know that i have complete control" Sheidheda told Russel softly so as not to throw him off the rails. Leoni was trapped in the flame banging on the table kicking over chairs desperately trying to regain control of her own body
"the revenge i can offer you is far sweeter" Sheidheda promised

"what are you" Russel growled stepping closer

"whatever you want me to be" Sheidheda gave a mischievous smirk

~~~

"no no NO NO STOP IT STOP!" Leoni yelled in the echoing hall of the flame. she was trapped. she knocked over candles and tables, Sheidheda's evil chess set that sat mockingly on her table. kicked over chairs, pulled down banners. if she couldn't get control she would make life so much harder for him. she couldn't even hear what he was doing with her body anymore. she smashed glasses and broke tables
"LEAVE ME ALONE" she shrieked at the top of her lungs
"leave me alone" she weeped, sliding down a wall with her head in her hands.

"fight with skill not emotion" Kidra's voice echoed through the room. Leoni stood up quickly

"mother? Kidra help me! Help me please!" the blonde shouted

"fight with skill. not emotion." she repeated then new words started to echo the large room.

"GUN!" Indie yelled and Leoni ran towards the call. she ducked behind curtains and suddenly she could see again. Maddie stood in front of her with a gun to her own head. she loaded it and left a light finger on the trigger

"i'll pull this Mum. you know i will" she told her mother as tears streamed down her face
"you taught me to be that warrior. one willing to die for my cause."

"no no no MADDIE NO!" Leoni started running towards the bright light where she was watching the scene unfold. suddenly she was stopped by Sheidheda

"let her die!" he demanded

"like hell" Leoni growled and pulled out her blade. the two fought furiously as Maddie's words bounced off of the walls

"i'll pull this trigger mum. in 3...2..." with one final thrash Leoni wielded her blade across Sheidheda's knee caps and jumped through the light.

~~~

with a gasp she was in her own body again. the entirety of Wonkru stood behind her, Sheidheda must've woken them

"TAKE THE PRIME AND HIS MEN!" Leoni demanded. Maddie lowered her gun and Leoni rushed towards the girl, enveloping her in a tight hug
"oh my baby i'm so sorry i'm so so sorry" she sobbed into Maddie's shoulder but then she went limp.

~~~

suddenly back inside the flame. Sheidheda slammed her against the table

"YOU RUINED EVERYTHING! WE WOULD HAVE RULED IT ALL!" he roared in her face with his icy hands wrapped tightly around her neck, chocking the air from her lungs
"WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME- TO US!" he screamed and Leoni started to feel herself black out

"She-is-my-kid" the blonde defended with what little breath she had left

"YOU ARE WEAK SELFISH INCOMPETENT NAIVE UNDESERVING SPOILED PATHETIC-" and suddenly he was gone! Leoni looked around in confusion and then it all started falling apart. the ancient stone walls started to crumple and fall, the floors started folding from beneath her.

~~~

then she was awake and instantly she knew. her head was silent. no voices no commands no guide. the flame was gone. Leoni looked up from where she lay in the med bay once again. Indie and Clarke looked down at her with panicked faces. she turned her head to the side away from the bright light on top of her.

"i'll close" Jackson said and started to stitch up Leoni's head from where they'd destroyed and extracted the flame. Gaia and Clarke kneeled at her side smiling at her. Leoni felt numb. no one was telling her how to feel anymore so she didn't feel at all. for the first time in too long she couldn't feel her sister's presence

"i can't feel her" Leoni whispered, grabbing onto Clarke's hand, desperate for that feeling to come back but it didn't. she felt empty. She could no longer hear Lexa's heartbeat when she listened close. She felt alone.

"we took out the flame after Raven pulled the kill switch, it was the only way to destroy Sheidheda" Gaia told her in grief

"so it's gone?" Leoni whispered. Gaia shakily held up the fried flame and Leoni let out a chocked sob
"no" she breathed taking the flame in her hands
"why did you do that" she sobbed, her thumbs running over the blackened chip
"why would you do that you killed them" she cried weakly
"my mum and sister were in that chip and you- you killed them I told you not to" Leoni sobbed uncontrollably

"hey Leoni! i know how you feel! i lost my mother today too. Russel turned her into Simone and i had to kill her and now i've lost Lexa too" Clarke tried to sympathise with the commander

"no you have no idea what i feel" Leoni cried
"she was my everything! you killed her again! i already lost her you killed her again! i just lost my mother sister and father for the second time! do you know what it's like to loose the people you love twice?" she rolled over onto her back and put her hands over her face as the tears rolled down her cheeks
"i just want to go home" her whole body jerked as she grieved just about everyone she'd learned to love

"Leoni i'm so sorry" Raven apologised tearfully

"i hope you know i'm keeping my title. i was the last commander and i will continue my reign." she told Gaia sternly
"word of the flame does not leave this room do you understand?" she sat up and glared at everyone else in the room

"Raven" Indra called on the girl and everyone whipped their heads around to the computer and watched as Sheidheda's code disappeared and was replaced with the words upload complete

"where did he go?" Clarke asked

"i have no idea" Raven replied in fear. Leoni wasn't afraid though. She didn't care anymore.

"i hope you live with what you did to me...forever" Leoni hissed at Clarke and stormed out of the room with Indra and Indie either side of her.
"Shaw? get ready to fly us back to Sanctum. i'll tell Wonkru that we made it to our promised land after all" Leoni ordered before leaving all together. Leoni and her guards walked through to the mess hall where everyone else was waiting. when Leoni emerged everyone dropped to a knee and for the first time since becoming commander she didn't feel like an imposter. she was commander with or without the flame
"ai kru. today i really do...bring you home" Leoni told them all and they burst into applause. Leoni ran a finger side to side on her waist trying to keep her nerves at bay as she watched her people hug each other and celebrate salvation

This poor girl I swear
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