One.

He changed.

The Accords wasn't something he could ignore. His name had appeared more than once in the conversation. His actions and past were brought up but he didn't care much for it anymore. He had gotten used to people calling him a monster or a murderer. Sometimes he'd hear people talking about loud enough for him to hear. They would stare and point at him, but not you.

You were one of the first people who accepted him. The first in the team after Steve. Steve introduced you as 'the stupid genius' and you had punched his chest for that. The gesture made Bucky chuckle lowly, bringing a smile to your face. You had looked at him with a smile. A genuine smile. It was rare for him to receive any type of smile that was genuine.

He saw you hesitate before you signed the Accords. He watched your hand scribble on the paper, your name bright on the page. The rest of the team followed your actions, Steve and Sam a little reluctantly. The two were putting up a fight before you scolded them for their childish actions.

He made sure not to make you mad after that.

Two.

He's not fine.

Nightmares plagued his nights. Some nights he'd wake up in a cold sweat, screaming. Some nights he'd wake up without a trace of emotion and stare at his hands, thinking about what he's done. If he woke up screaming, you would be there in a split second, calming him down and telling him that he wouldn't have done it if it was him. If he woke up without any noise, he would wish you were there.

Once or twice he made you stay with him. You happily obliged, sliding into the covers while Bucky wrapped his arms around your waist. He would snuggle closer to you when he felt like he was going to drown in his thoughts. You would run a hand through his hair, knowing exactly what he needed at the time. A few times when he woke up without you by his side, he would knock on your door, hoping that you would let him in. And you did.

Soon he started to appear in your room without hesitation or knocking.

Three.

He finds comfort in you.

Every night he had a nightmare, he came to you. He sought the comfort from you and you gave it. He got more comfortable with you, but hadn't shared any of his nightmares, no matter how many times you asked. His answer was always no. He didn't want you to be harassed by the demons he created. He didn't need you to be cursed with his burden.

Once though, he did talk to you about his past. He told you about all the things he had seen while being the Winter Soldier. Not the bad things in any case. He kept the memories to monuments or sceneries he had seen while on missions. He saw the way your eyes lit up when he mentioned a place you wanted to visit.

That was the day he promised that he'd take you there one day.

Four.

He isn't the same.

He changed drastically after the mission. His nightmares got worse. They were more livid and real, like he was there again. He would see the terrified face of the Winter Soldier's victims before watching the same innocent people die. He would watch the victim until they took their last breath.

His once bright blue eyes, that you said had a spark to them, died out. The dark circles around his eyes showed anyone who cared to look that he wasn't getting much sleep. His skin paled since he barely got out or saw sun. His long hair was uneven while the stubble on his face grew into a bread.

His eyes would shoot open before he yelled your name, but you never came.

Five.

He used to love you.

He watched the way your eyes twinkled when you looked at him. The E/C eyes he loved so much. You bit your lip, drawing in your bottom lip between your teeth. His eyes trailed over your body, taking in the summer dress you wore that day. It flowed against your knees as the breeze went by. Your lips curled into a smile before you breathed out Bucky's name.

The tears rolled down his cheeks as he turned the TV off, unable to look at you longer. His heart ached for you to be here. Alive and well. He ached for your touch and your soft voice. He wanted to hear you tell him it would all be okay. He need you here. He let out a scream that had strangled him for a long time.

He should have told you sooner that he loved you with his whole heart.