" Hi! I am mingkwan dechapanya , I am representing the engineering faculty..I hope you will vote and support this moon of yours"

I finished my speech with a wink..yes, this is the famous Moon and Star pageant that is very much expected once you step into Universities here in Thailand....

I knew I will eventually end up here in college, but never imagined my current situation. So now wayo , my only best friend and myself are representing science and engineering faculties in this pageant.....

It's tiring , all this activities and academics on toll... What's even more draining is the fact, me playing cupid role for my bestie.

Wayo had a huge crush on Phana kongthanin our immediate senior in highschool. Dramatic enough, he ended in the same University as Phana , roping me with him to be his wingman. Crazy ryt!

And again, what's even crazier is that, a lot of people mistake yo(wayo) and me for couples...that's funny coz he is nothing more than a brother from another mother.......

But I'm not interested in anything for now. Break-ups are draining enough, and that when you catch your girlfriend cheating? It took a bad toil on me. It hurt to the core because it was my first serious relationship. Let me agree! I was a playboy. But with Lee ( my ex) I was dead serious.

I snapped out of my thoughts when yo yelled at me,
"Oiiii Ming... P'Forth promised us dinner na ..come let's go...."
he whined...

"what about your husband ..does he knows about this?"

I asked yo wiggling my eyebrows...P'Pha is the personification of pure possessive boyfriend. I know he loves yo. he is courting yo finally, not being able to compress the feelings he had since Highschool. Cliche story...

What makes their story Interesting is, my senior on the tail of pha for yo... Yep! P'forth likes yo....

I'm very sure of this love triangle...even when my mentor Aka P'Forth didn't confess yet...but I can feel it....his eyes , the look he has in the presence of yo, his smile, indicating love fever.....

you can tell yourself if you see him beside yo ...he changes into a lovestruck highschooler....but yo isn't aware of it.he adores P'forth...and pha hates that atmost. Who would want to share the love of their life...

Fast-forward-----

We are now sitting in a restaurant beside our campus....and

Hi yo!...P'Forth made his dramatic entrance with his billion dollar smile. And he greeted me with a curt nod. Let me rephrase it, he acknowledged my presence, that's it.

That's all I get. But technically, I'm his junior. I can see yo is cute and people who see him wants to protect him...but I don't even get recognised until some chick wants to get inside my pants!!just that... nothing more. My looks ! My only identity!! And this known realisation hit me like a truck.

Wayo ordered sushi....and I took padthai and my senior got gudyon . Myself and yo were discussing regarding our special talent show for the pageant, when a voice came up.....

"What are you doing with yo?" P'Pha asked coldly, narrowing his view on P'Forth. Told you guys he's possessive!

"P just dinner na...see Ming is also with me!" Yo tried calming him down.

"you are coming with me..." with saying that Pha pulled up yo with him... leaving and me and my senior alone!

P'Forth was disappointed... didn't utter a word...he slowly got up and left . And now it's just myself. I finished my dinner and walked ..

Indeed I am alone....ONS's( one night stands) are boring now days. I stopped playing....but in return life is playing with me.

I should sleep soon. I have sotus activities tomorrow.... when I was about to sleep , i opened my phone expecting any message from anyone... usually I get from my girlfriend and yo.....

Now that both have new boyfriends they no way that they remember me...yo will meet me tomorrow....for dance practice! let's see if tomorrow is any different. I said to myself before keeping my phone away and locking myself inside the duvet ......

The next day was the usual.. Very usual, until Nate , a star ( female pageant nominee from a department) from science faculty asked me out for lunch. I agreed since I was alone again....

For someone who is just accompanied by sotus and Star and moon pageant, a date would definitely be a refreshment.

While I was about to leave with her, a tanned arm pulled me inside and dragged me to the floor corner.....
It was my senior. Former moon of engineering.... P'FORTH....he pushed me till my back hit the wall....and was glaring at me with anger dripping off not just from his eyes but radiated from him in whole....

"Is this how you plan to win the moon title !!! going for dates... really? stop your plays and eat this and get to practice soon....don't . waste . your. Time..." He commanded.

To say I was shocked and happy at the same time would be an understatement! It was weird seeing him that close proximity. it gave me strange stomach churns. A small smile made its way to my lips, that my senior cares about me.

I was smiling sheepishly until I saw him handing it too all the moons and stars.....my smile was replaced with unknown pain.....

Yo went out to eat before he came.Nate just gave an understanding smile.she knows that engineers are danger to oppose.

I was left alone again. The night was darker than usual......all this time I never felt like this...and my senior just made my day!! Awful with just loneliness. I planned to do Muay Thai....I kept myself busy in that.

Like currently I'm in the university gym practicing. P'FORTH came too.... He just greeted me with a nod, all too familiar.just that, not even a smile! I continued. Yo said he was going to sing for the talent show in the pageant finals. It suits him.

Arghhh.......I hate this.... being alone. just myself....hope I could get someone warm ,to encourage..to smile and to be with me.

Im tired of playing..... Need something permanent and filled with love and care.... Who could speak to me all day and night, Waiting for replies.... Not using me as transportation and credit card!

Am i not human... ? Who said pleasure is in sex and such stuff alone?... It is not! Really not. Now when i realise it, just too late..... My friend mingled and has someone.... Now im just all alone. Just myself!! Worst feeling ever...!

A/Nmeet you soon frnds... ❤️💚💙💜💛