Chapter Twenty-Two

      The journey was a blurry one.  Mentally, I was exhausted much of it.  Unable even to indulge in the same exhilarated butterflies that filled the stomachs of my fellow first-time travelers.  I was so involved with myself that I did not speak for three whole days.

      My small stash of cash was meager for a trip such as mine, that much was apparent.  Yet, with my ability to count pennies, I was able to make it last.  On the train, only water passed my lips, as I knew the dining car was too rich for my blood.  And at each stop, I quickly scrambled to the nearest vending machine and squirreled away whatever snacks would sate my hunger.

      I got really lucky once and found a new Subway restaurant right next to one station and had a whole hour before my next train was to depart.  That sub felt like heaven on my tongue and my stomach was able to make it the whole next day without pitching too much of a fit.

      Other than my mad dashes for food or the switching from train to train, I found that my head was in a terminal fog.  People.  Places.  Objects.  Sights, sounds, smells.  Nothing found its way through the thick mist.  To this day, it feels as though I had amnesia the entire trip.

      Except once, right after I left.

      As dawn officially lightened the sky the day after I left, I learned that I was heading east.  To what final destination, I didn't really care.  When I purchased the ticket, the only thing I'd told the man at the counter was to get me on the earliest train and send me on the longest trip possible.  Apparently he chose to send me clear across the country.  Or however far three hundred dollars would get me.

      Suddenly, as if acknowledging the decision I made and the consequences of my action, we traveled straight into a storm.  From an empty blue sky, we moved right into hostile territory.  The sky was black as night, the storm clouds hanging so low, it felt as if the train itself was carrying them with us on our journey.  For miles around, lightning flashed in furious forests of arcing electricity.  Thunder boomed so loud, it immediately threw the train car into instant silence.  And all around, the rain came falling down.

      Sheets upon sheets of rain slashed through the air before battering the windows so loudly it sounded like gunshots.  So fierce was the assault, I could not see anything at all beyond the window.  There was no letting up from the rain and even the closest of lightning barrages barely seemed to make it through the incredible onslaught.  Thus, now the thunder competed with the screams of frightened children.

      Through it all, I could only attempt to stare out my window at this incredible rage that mother nature was releasing.  It felt similar to the fury that churned deeply inside of me.  Absently, I began to wonder if I would unleash it in a similarly tremendous attack.  And when.

      Until such a time, it would continue to build inside of me.  Churning and flashing and rumbling.  It would do so until the very moment that I could just let it go.  In all of its magnificent ferocity.