This takes place in Volume 11, chapter 6 'A Man's Tears' and it will be written in Hirata's perspective.
Shout out to MandisenSunnar for suggesting this.

Hirata POV

After the incident with Koenji and Mii-chan, I had decided to set off in the other direction. I couldn't care less what they did.

The Class Vote special exam had already passed and the dawn of a new one was near. My classmates were all probably busy getting ready along with every other class, but I didn't care.

'I couldn't save him'
[It couldn't be helped]

'It's my fault'
[It was completely his mistake]

'If only it had been me..'
[He had it coming]

Conflicting thoughts slowly clouded my mind as I sat on a bench. I didn't go back to the dorms or the school so as to not encounter the people I knew, I just want to be left alone...

"Hirata."

A familiar voice betrayed my wish. I looked up to see the person who had called out to me.

"Ayanokouji-kun..."

"Can you spare some time?"

He was a classmate that reminded me of my old self a bit, blending into the background, and not standing out.

Although his expression never seemed to change and no one could get a read on him, I knew that he was a reliable person based on what I've seen with Karuizawa-san.

"I thought you'd be able to understand me Ayanokouji-kun, but it seems I was wrong... I'm sick of people coming to me and trying to console me, I just want to be left alone."

I didn't feel like listening to the same things over and over again, so I had hoped to shut him down with these words, but-

"Sorry for betraying your expectations, but if you don't like it then just push me away like you did everyone else."

As much as I wanted to, I couldn't bring myself to do it, rather, I didn't have the energy.

"Spare some time huh? Well I don't have the strength to push you away so I guess I have to... but I don't think you should waste your time doing this."

This pattern has already played out dozens of times already.
'It's okay, it's not your fault.'
'There's nothing you could have done'

Each time they would say the same thing, but I wished that they would leave me alone. I was preparing to hear a familiar statement become audible to my ears, but contrary to my expectations-

"Tell me your story. What made you the way you are now with your values and beliefs?"

"Eh?"

I was caught off guard by the unexpected question.

"Why would I need to tell you about my past?"

"Well, I guess you could say I'm curious."

"I don't have the energy to be telling you about my childhood, besides you should already know."

I had already told Ayanokouji-kun about my past on the cruise, most of it.

"Don't have the energy you say? Why's that?"

"Thats..."

"Hm?"

After a moment of silence, I told my reason.

"It's because Yamauchi-kun got expelled."

"..."

"You're making me say some horrible things here."

"I'm sorry if I offended you."

I knew what he was trying to do, but that still didn't make it any easier. All I wanted him to do right now was leave.

"Although having one of your classmates expelled is unpleasant, the Event Selection Exam is near and everyone is doing their best to prepare, while you're here so hung up on Yamauchi's expulsion that even if you cooperate..."

His words contained no malice or pity, he was just stating the facts.

"What I want to know is what happened in your life that gave you these values and ideals."

"What's the point? Do you really think that I'd tell you?"

Even if I told him the whole truth, nothing would change. There would be nothing he could do to convince me otherwise.

"You desperately want others to know about you right now, isn't that right? That's why you'll tell me."

His words were still monotone, no change in tone or words, but I knew he was right.

He forced me to look at him with these words, and that's when I saw it...

"..I see..."

I could feel a shiver as fear was emplanted into my heart. What I saw was his eyes... eyes completely void of any emotion, there was no hint of love, hate, or even light.

There was only a pitch black darkness...

"I see why Karuizawa-san told you the truth... she saw them, or rather, you showed them to her. You showed her those eyes and the darkness that lies in them..."

I could still feel myself shivering unconsciously.

The truth was I did want someone to save me, but how could they if I didn't even know how I would save myself.

"You should already be familiar with my story right? With my childhood friend that committed suicide?"

"Sugimura right?"

My eyes widened after hearing this.

"So you even remember his name?"

Memories of the events back in middle school filled my mind. I really wanted to save him, but I didn't because I was afraid that I'd be next. As a result-

"He jumped off a building..."

"..."

"He managed to stay alive by some miracle, but ever since then he's been in a coma."

"But that wasn't entirely your fault, the bullies are the ones who should take the blame."

"Yeah, but being a bystander is just as bad."

I told him my honest feelings. I knew that if I'd save him back then, he might not be in this situation, in a coma.

"... Actually there's more to that story."

I looked at the ground, still afraid of the eyes pierced through me. I felt like I was being forced to tell the whole truth.

"When he jumped off, I thought that the bullying would end. I thought that by seeing what they caused, they would stop, but I was wrong..."

I explained the situation that was replayed in my head.

"That's when I realized how dark human nature actually was. Even after the suicide, they only switched targets. They began to bully another innocent bystander who was on the bottom of the caste system, what's more, people who weren't initially involved began to join in."

I hesitated to say my next words, I would be revealing the darkest part of my life, but before I could-

"So you took action?"

He guessed what I was going to say.

I nodded my head and began to go in detail.

"Whenever the bullying got out of hand, I would step in and punish both sides equally. It was control through fear."

"You did that?"

"My actions were no different than bullying, but it was the only way I knew how to solve it. I stood at the top while the rest were on the bottom."

He stayed silent as he waited for me to finish.

"I find myself wondering if I had ruined that whole year for everyone. No one smiled, and they just went through the motions of everyday without life or energy, like robots."

"You can't forgive yourself for letting Yamauchi get targeted can you?"

I nodded in response.

"I had wanted to keep it quiet till the last day, but when the situation was revealed..."

"I see."

"I was stupid for thinking that I could keep the class together. I even thought of using fear to keep everyone safe again."

I revealed the darkness buried in my heart, but he didn't show any fear or anger.

Before I could realize it, I was shaking again, and not just from his eyes. I felt as if my heart would collapse.

'There's nothing you could have done.'

'He had it coming, it wasn't your fault.'

Each time someone comes up to me, they all said the same thing, but it never did anything. I was waiting for a similar reply to come, but what came out of Ayanokouji-kun's weren't the sympathetic words that hurt me.

"Just know that it was neither Horikita's or my fault."

"..Yes, I know... and I don't blame you for it either."

He must have thought that I held a grudge against him, so I cleared the misunderstanding.

"Who's fault do you think it is that he was expelled?"

A seemingly simple question came my way, but forcing out the words people told me was extremely difficult.

"It was... his fault, he was the only one to blame."

I could feel my heart sink, I thought that he was going to agree, after all, it was only the truth. However, his next words were neither logical or what I had expected.

"No, it was your fault."

My eyes widened as I raised my face to look at him. In the face of these words that I thought, but everyone denied, I could feel a shock.

"If you really wanted to save him, you would have done everything in your power to do so."

"But there was no way to avoid that, nothing that I could have done."

"Ichinose and class B got through without any explusions."

"Yeah, but their a special case, we didn't have the points or trust that could allow us to do something like that."

"That just means you failed to lead the class the way you needed to in order to prevent expulsion. You should have found a way for everyone to save their points at the beginning of the year."

Every excuse and reason I made was shot down with completely illogical and unreasonable arguments.

"That doesn't make any sense, that's so unreasonable..."

"It's definitely unreasonable, but it's the path you chose. You should have kept your delusions to yourself instead of projecting them onto others, and now you have to bear the responsibility, atleast steel yourself to do that much."

"I-I'm.."

"You were supposed to be an honor student that was respected by our classmates, but you're not... you're shallow, incompetent, and claim to do things you can't. That's who you really are."

Words with such ruthlessness beat me down, even if he wasn't right, I felt like it was the truth. He forced my eyes open and made me see the reality that I can't escape, that there will be people I can't save.

"... So this is what you're really like huh? Your true nature... Dark, cold, ruthless."

"Think what you want, but if you want your wish to come true, then you have to fight and keep moving forward. You have to suffer through the expulsions and losses of your classmates, and you have to keep striving forward."

Just like the man who told me this, these words were-

"Cruel..."

"If you stop now, the people you're leading will fall completely. You have to keep your eyes on you goal and accept reality."

A brief silence then filled the area.

"So do I just keep moving forward while bottling all my emotions?.."

I questioned what he wanted me to do, if I really were to go through with this, I would definitely break without being able to vent.

"Not at all, you just have to rely on your classmates, there's no reason for a leader not to depend on their followers. We're all in this together, through the good and bad times."

Although my question was answered, doubts still floated within me.

"I-is it okay for someone like me to lead? What if.."

"As you are now, it's alright if you continue to lead like you always have."

With that, he put his hand on my shoulder. I could feel tears streaming down my face. Tears that I've kept inside me for years were leaving me.

It was here when I was saved by a darkness.
A darkness that engulfed and eclipsed my own. I didn't know what Ayanokouji Kiyotaka expirienced as a kid, but I knew one thing for sure...

He expirienced something far beyond what I could ever imagine. There is no doubt within me... that he has a history much darker and more unforgiving than anyone I've known.