Stunned at the coincidence, Bhairavi began to read,
'Tripura Bhairavi is the fifth Mahavidya and a fierce and terrifying form of Sati. The name 'Bhairavi' means 'Terror' or 'Awe-inspiring', or simply 'The fierce Goddess'. 'Tripura' or 'The three kingdoms' are the three stages of consciousness, the conscious, the subconscious, and the unconscious, which are governed by the Goddess.
Her Dhyan Shloka in the Devi Mahatmya describes her form, though there are variations of her appearance. In the Todala Tantra, she is shown- ‘Her head garlanded with flowers, she resembles the red rays of a thousand rising suns, smeared with red, holding milk, book, dispelling fears and giving boons with her four hands, large three eyes, beautiful face with a slow smile, wearing white gems...’, while her shloka says that her skin is volcanic red and that out of her four arms, two of them show the varada mudra and abhaya mudra, while the other two hands carry a sword and a cup containing blood.
Alternatively, she also carries a book and a rosary. Her three eyes are red, but kind and she wears a garland of skulls. Her Divine Radiance, or Tejas, they say, burns away all imperfections of the soul. She is often seen as violent and terrible, but she is a benign and loving mother to her children and devotees.'
Intrigued and awed, Bhairavi skipped a few lines and continued,
'Tripura Bhairavi embodies the principle of destruction. She arises or becomes present when the body declines and decays, which is natural, and inevitable. The Goddess is also evident in self-destructive habits, such as eating tamasic food (food having a quality associated with ignorance and lust) and drinking liquor.
She is present, it is said, in the loss of semen, which weakens males. Anger, jealousy, and other such negative emotions and actions strengthen Bhairavi's presence in the world. Righteous behavior, conversely, makes her weaker. But she is not a negative Goddess, she is the one who purges evil and is an ever-present goddess who manifests herself in, and embodies, the destructive aspects of the world. Destruction, however, is not necessarily negative, for Creation cannot happen without it.'
*She was running as fast as she could, her feet pounding on the marble floor as she ran across the familiar row of doors. This time, however they were not locked and as she crossed each of them, the doors opened. Some of the doors gaped wide open while others peeked. At the bottom of the staircase, she knew, was the door to freedom.
She started rushing down the stairs but the more she runs towards the bottom the farther she gets away from it. Suddenly, she decided to stop running. Let the monster catch up, she would slowly walk down the stairs with concentration.
To her surprise, she reached the bottom of the stairs when her nape prickled with awareness. She could smell her parents' blood, and sense the monster as it climbed down the spiral staircase lazily. But she did not get distracted and with great focus, yanked the door open. She saw a rough, reddish landscape, almost barren and filled with craggy landscapes. And a few feet away from her stood....the Goddess. Maa Tripura Bhairavi.
Awed, Bhairavi stared, she was so similar to the picture in the book yet so different, for her beauty and magnificence was too glorious to be captured by a mortal hand. Bhairavi was a little scared, but the kind smile on the bloody lips, and the soft, red eyes, drew her closer almost magnetically.
Bowing her head in reverence, she stood, not knowing what to do or say. She had never been much of a believer and yet the Goddess stood in front of her. Suddenly, she heard a deep, melodious voice, slightly rough but sonorous. Looking up, she saw the Goddess had not opened her mouth. "Ah, my little Bhairo, your time has come."
Stunned, Bhairavi stared, the Goddess had spoken in her mind just like she did! Bhairavi realized she was without her pendant, but attempted to speak mentally, 'I...I...I don't understand.'
"You soon will, Bhairo, for you are not an ordinary girl. You are special, very special and you have a hard path ahead. But I believe in you, so should you.'
Tears of fear and exasperation stung her eyes, 'But...why did my parents have to die. And how am I special. What are these new powers, who is the monster...'
The Goddess shushed her, "Be patient, little one. All the answers to your questions are in your mind. Look within, not without. Take care of yourself."
Saying this, the Goddess started to fade from her vision as Bhairavi stared helplessly, confused, 'But...but...what about the monster...who is he? What does he want?'
The last words of the Goddess as she disappeared confused her further, "Trust your new friend, he does not wish to harm you." Turning back, she saw the shadow of the monster as it reached the last few steps....*
Gasping, Bhairavi woke up. Her mind felt woozy and tired, as if she had barely slept. Glancing at the clock, she realized it was four minutes to the beeping of her alarm.
Irritated at the thought of waking before her alarm, she shut it off and got up. It was only Tuesday but she was already yearning for Sunday. After taking a shower, she quickly dressed before going to the kitchen. "Someone woke early today, is everything alright?" Namma asked as soon as she saw her.
'All good. Woke early,' Bhairavi signed before pouring a large mug of coffee. Normally she took her time getting ready, but today she had rushed through her shower and makeup. Sipping, she almost moaned at the bitterness of the coffee, sleep who?
She needed a lot of caffeine to make it through the day, and she had not forgotten her appointment with the supernatural book shop owner. Suddenly, she remembered about the entire working in the cafe idea. Her encounter with Samanya had zapped it out of her mind.
Taking out her brand new purple notebook, she wrote, 'Namma, I was thinking of getting a job at your cafe. It would help you and you would save up on the money of hiring someone.'
Namma smiled at the suggestion, "And why do you need a job? You have enough on your plate already without working part time at the cafe. First you need to heal and feel better. Then we can talk about it."
'But Namma, am already getting better. I am trying to. It will not happen in a day, right? Let me help, I already feel guilty about...being so expensive to maintain... what with the medicines and therapy. You did not let me touch the bank balance for that!'
"And you don't have to spend your inheritance on it as long as I am alive. Don't you dare talk about being expensive and all. Okay, fine. You can help out at the cafe....on one condition."
Bhairavi's jubilant smirk fell. "As long as you let me pay you." Seeing Bhairavi scribble a long, angry protest, Namma hastily added, "No, I absolutely will not make you work for free. You can work at minimum rate, but you will not be taken advantage of. And most definitely not by your family."
Knowing that she had lost, Bhairavi agreed, sadly. "Now take your lunch, and have a good day at college. Bye, baccha"
College was boring as usual, but she found it slightly more bearable than the other days. Heaving a sigh of relief when the last class ended, she set off for the bus stand. Only three months more, and then she would graduate. Of course, then there was post graduation, but she would have a fresh start there. Atleast she hoped it would be so. As she entered the busy street near her house, she breathed in the vibrancy and energy of the people around.
The street was always crowded, always busy, filled with the residents of the posh houses, which began just after the street ended and diverged into two lanes. There were few young people about, most were above fifty. The few youngsters were those who came for tuitions, or had colleges nearby, or maybe had been drawn by the beautiful boutiques, classy stores, and aesthetic cafes.
Bhairavi stopped in front of the bookstore, and paused to look at the newly installed board embellished with its name, "Om, A House of rare books and classy stationary, among others". Silently laughing at the somber and strange declaration, Bhairavi entered.
She did not have to do much more than visit the billing counter, for Samanya hurried over immediately on seeing her. Warily, Bhairavi looked at him. The mirage which used to shimmer around him had completely disappeared and she did not have to focus on him today to see his real appearance.
A glance around the store revealed that she was the only one who saw it, for she saw unperturbed customers and employees moving about, not sparing him a second glance other than the usual appreciative or respectful ones.
"Hi," Samanya seemed nervous.
'Hello,' she signed.
"Where would you prefer to sit and talk? Would a cafe be too strange for you? I could do with a coffee, personally."
In spite of herself, Bhairavi blushed, for she was going on coffee with a...never mind. It was too complicated a situation and Bhairavi was impatient to know the truth, therefore she signed, 'Cafe is fine'.
"Okay, which one would you suggest?"
This threw her into a dilemma. She would have felt at ease in her Namma's cafe, but if Namma saw her with him, the situation would be really uncomfortable. Namma was very cool about boys, and that was the problem. She would think he was her crush, or something, and she did not want the drama.
Taking out her notebook, she wrote, 'We can go to my grandmother's cafe, or any cafe you prefer?'
Internally, she wished he would choose the latter. But her luck did not side with her, and he suggested going to her family cafe. As she took him to her cafe, he kept on talking about random things, oblivious to her worries. On entering, they were immediately given a seat even though the cafe was almost filled and had a few people waiting to get seats.
Namma's cafe, or technically her family cafe 'Fudge You' was a quirky, modern cafe started by Maa. It quickly gathered admirers, the funny yet cute interior, and the Indian-Continental fusion food was impossible to resist. Maa had developed a few of her own, and upgraded several of Namma's recipes.
The result was a wildly successful cafe. After she passed away and Namma came to stay with her, she took hold of the cafe and kept it running without changing a thing about it. It had been a month since Bhairavi had come to the cafe in which she had practically grown up. Everybody who worked there knew her, and she did not even have to order, though she guided Samanya while placing his.
Her all time favorite was the Cocoa-nut coffee with an extra shot of espresso and a slice of Carrot Halwa pie. Samanya ordered the same, actually she ordered it for him, for he was too mesmerized by the menu to make a choice. As they sat down, Bhairavi looked around, hoping to not catch sight of Namma.
"So...I am sure you want to know who, or what I am?" Samanya bluntly stated. She nodded.
Samanya harshly exhaled, before answering, "Okay. I...am a Rakshasa."