A/N -  Thank you to Sleeplessvirge for requesting this! They asked for Tommy to get therapy, so I focused on him getting help for the long-term effects of Dream's manipulation during exile. I did change a few things, so sorry about that! Also, I decided to split it up into two parts since this one ended up being so long, but I've already finished the second part and am publishing them at the same time so there's no wait.

TW: Anxiety, manipulation, suicidal thoughts, swearing

Tubbo

When Tommy came back from exile, he looked so small. He would stare at the ground and speak when spoken to, and I wondered where my Tommy had gone. Why was he so quiet? Why was he so small? 

It seemed I was the only one who noticed this, because everyone else liked to be near Tommy more now, even if he looked so much more uncomfortable being around other people these days.

"Tubbo, he's a completely different person! He's so... quiet! It's great!" Ranboo gushed to me one day. "That's nice, Ranboo," I said nervously. Something didn't sound right - everyone liked Tommy now because he was quiet and shy, but that wasn't Tommy. Didn't they know that?

I realized that they didn't like Tommy, they liked being listened to, and if there was one thing I noticed Tommy was great at now, it was listening. That was all he did. He would stare and listen and spit out the answer you wanted with a smile that didn't reach his eyes, and I wondered why people liked that so much. I wondered if they noticed the bags under his eyes, his constantly-shaking hands, his twitching and avoidance of eye contact.

If I were better at understanding people, I would be able to line these up in my head and put them together to reach an answer. They were part of an equation, but I didn't know how to solve it to find the solution.  What I did know was that Tommy needed help and he wasn't going to ask for it, so I would do it for him. 

I thought carefully of who I could ask, noting how Tommy interacted with people these days. He seemed to be comfortable in the company of Sam, Puffy, and I, letting down his guard the most around us, although not completely. He was still closed-off and unresponsive until he thought you wanted him to be. It hurt me to see him deteriorate into this silent people-pleasing mindset more and more each day. Hell, he didn't even get excited about his discs anymore. Whenever we would hang out on the bench and I asked which one he wanted to play, he would just politely smile and let me choose, staring off into the distance.

As the days passed I started to get more and more worried about his mental health, particularly after seeing him nearly collapse at the sound of TNT. He almost had a panic attack in the middle of the Prime Path one day, which was concerning for two reasons. One, he was having a fucking panic attack, and two, he was completely vulnerable in front of everyone, so afraid of the noise that he forgot to keep up the walls he built up so high and strong around him to mask his fear, his weakness, and his pain. He needed help, and I couldn't wait any longer.

"Puffy? Sam?"

"Hey, Tubbo! What can we help you with?"

"It's Tommy."

"What about him? Is he okay? Do I need to get some potions? Weapons? Who should I kill-"

"He's not in any immediate danger, don't worry. I'm just concerned about what's going on in his head because no one else seems to notice. They just like that he's quiet and scared." I got bitter towards the end, but it seems the older two shared my sentiments because they nodded solemnly, agreeing with my point and sharing my concern.

"It's Dream's fault," Puffy spat. "He put that kid through hell during exile. None of us know what happened, but I know manipulation when I see it. He shredded Tommy to bits and reconstructed him the way he wanted him to be and now he's closed-off and obedient."

"Uh-huh. I think Tommy would really benefit from building up relationships with people he trusts again. Maybe the three of us should sit him down and try to talk it out with him."

Puffy and I agreed with Sam's suggestion, making a plan to get Tommy to talk to us.

It took five long days of coaxing to get Tommy to agree to sit down with us for a serious conversation. Every time we asked, saying it would help him, he would say no with a nervous smile and somehow wiggle his way out of the situation, going somewhere we couldn't find him. 

After one such occasion, I followed him to where he would go, and to my surprise, he went towards the Nether portal, although he didn't go in for a while. He stood in front of it, staring into the glassy purple and trembling like a leaf. Why was he there if he was so scared of the Nether?

Finally, I saw him step in and heard the swoosh, following him a few seconds later. As I entered, I grimaced at how hot the air was and squinted with my already-drying eyes to see the shaky figure of Tommy sitting near a cliff. I couldn't see his face, but I saw his shoulders shaking violently, his bony spine poking through his shirt as he curled into himself more every second. 

I rushed toward him and cautiously put my hand on his shoulder, trying to be comforting but nervous that I was invading his space. He didn't react, and I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

"Tommy..." I whispered. His blue-grey eyes met mine and my heart broke at how glassy and tired they looked.

"I hate the lava," He muttered unexpectedly. "I hate it. It scares me." It wasn't much, but it was more honesty than I'd gotten out of him in the weeks he'd been back. 

I felt bad for taking advantage of his fragile state, but I needed to help him since I had the sense that he was in danger. Gently, I asked him, "Why did you come here if the lava is so scary?"

He only hesitated a moment before responding, his voice cracking on practically every other word. "Because I want to do something that Dream wouldn't let me do. He didn't want me to jump since it was a way for me to escape, so he kept me from the edge. So now, I come here to try and prove to myself that I can do it, I can disobey Dream and be free. But Tubbo, it's so fuckin' scary and I can't look at the lava without breaking down. I'm broken."

I wasted no time wrapping my arms around him and pulling him into a tight hug. We sat there for a long time until I broke the silence by asking him the question he'd probably heard about a hundred times in the last few days. 

"Would you like to talk about it?"

(A/N, skip if you're not interested)

Sorry this took me so long to publish, my aunt is visiting and we want to spend time with her! Also I had to wait to post this until I finished writing the second part. 

I'm sorry I couldn't write Technobro in this one :( I'm pretty sure Technoblade doesn't like being written like that and I don't really like writing him like that. I know a lot of people out there are Techno apologists, but I'm not and his character has done some not-nice stuff to Tommy on the SMP, and I am very much a Tommy apologist. That's not everyone's cup of tea and I totally understand!