"And then she told me this joke and we laughed and laughed. It was something that I haven't been able to do for a long time with someone else..." Higgs said, leaning on his hand in the kitchen after the party that night.

Merida smiled as she washed a dish that had pie remnants on it. Higgs was upset that because he was talking all the cake was eaten so Merida told him that there was some pie left over. Higgs' tails all seemed to come out at the same time and hovered, gleefully. Edgar made a face as he poked at his half eaten pie slice.

"Weel, I'm glad ye had fun. Will ye be seeing Lady Hinkley anytime soon?"

"Within the next day or so, I think."

"Does she know about your transformations?" Edgar asked, looking up at Higgs.

"Of course she does; she was there when her ex-fiance tried to skewer me."

"Doesn't that bother you?"

"What?"

"That because of her, her fiancé tried to rip you open like a fish?"

"Edgar." Merida chastised.

"Well it was no fault of Elizabeth's. Lord Clarvins was drunk and he shouldn't have even been at the party. Besides, if he was so possessive of Elizabeth, he should have never let her wander around."

Edgar rolled his eyes as Higgs made a face at him.

"What's gotten into you?"

"He's mad because ye didnae get with me."

"Ma!" Edgar yelled, looking at her in anger and horror.

"Get with you?" Higgs asked.

"The lad's had a fantasy that ye and I would be together and he's mad that we havenae."

"You too, Edgar?"

"Well it makes perfect sense!" Edgar growled, getting up. "Merida does everything for you and would do anything for you and yet you go for the stupid lady whose fiancé tried to murder you. Merida is everything that you could ever want or need. She's not afraid of you, would even bear a cursed child for you, and so much more! She's been there every step of the way and you just move her aside like a curtain on a window. Errrr!"

He stomped away and Higgs looked at Merida, an ear flicking.

"Merida, why is it that people keep strongly believing that we should be together when we've made it perfectly clear that we just want a platonic relationship? Is there something I'm missing?"

"Ye arenae the brightest at times, Higgs." She said, grabbing Edgar's plate. "Yer blind to what ye shouldnae probably because ye couldnae possibly believe it's true."

"You're hiding something from me." Higgs said, suddenly upon her. She almost dropped the plate but he caught it and set it on the counter behind her. "You are not being completely honest with me, Scot. Why? Is there something you feel I can't handle?"

"This, right here, is why people believe we should be together. Ye come up on me like a man to his lass, ye end up in bed with me half the time, and ye treat me more than just a servant. Ye are sending out mixed signals to everyone. Edgar was a wee laddie when he came here and it's no surprising that he would get the wrong idea at that age."

Higgs moved off of her and she sighed. "I didn't realize it was bothering you."

"Isnae bothering me, it's telling people the wrong thing. An ye dinnae want to be with me, then ye shouldnae do things that seem like ye do."

"Tell me right now: Merida Dunbrough, do you want to be with me?"

Merida's eyes widened as Higgs stared at her with a serious expression.

"Why are ye-"

"Answer. My. Question." He growled, glaring at her.

"Even if I wanted to, I couldnae."

"Why not?"

"Because ye would only see it as me trying to be obligated to ye. Ye already question my motives about the failsafe, what's to keep ye from doing it for that too? Would that not be true, Laird Northumberly?" she said, taking her stance and staring him in the eyes. "An I did want to be with ye, wouldnae ye keep in the back of yer mind that I was only doing it out of duty? That I didnae really care? The first time I went in for a kiss ye would fuck it up because ye'd ken I was just doing it because I'm yer maid and ye're my laird. An I wanted to be with ye, ye have too many doubts to make it work."

"Oh so now it's suddenly my fault?"

"Aye, it would be! Yer father did it, Kans did it, and I wouldnae put it past ye to do it as weel. Look the gift horse in the mouth at everra turn, the like of ye. It's not just the curse that runs through yer family line, so does doubt. An ye trust Lady Hinkley, then go and be with her but dinnae ye come at me like I'm the one causing the problem! Trying to pin me down and ask me if I want to be with ye. Here's a better question: do ye want to be with me?" she growled pointing at him and then herself.

"I..." Higgs hesitated and he turned away. "It's irrelevant."

"No, it isnae. Answer the question." She growled, staring at him.

"You're right... If I wanted to be with you, I would always doubt you at every turn. It's pointless." He started walking away. "This whole argument was pointless."

"Ye started it."

"Well, now I'm finishing it." He snapped, turning back to her. "From now on this stops. We will behave like we should have from the beginning: a maid and her lord. This is the last night of us being friends. You are my employee and I am your employer and beyond that, there is nothing. Do you understand?"

Merida set her jaw and stared directly into Higgs' eyes, never looking away as she did a slow, deliberate curtsy.

"Aye, milaird. Whatever ye say."

"And the first thing you can do it get rid of that attitude. I'll throw you out on your ass."

"Yer true colors arenae pleasant ones, milaird."

"Get out. Now." he snarled, his face contorting slightly as the kitsune took over for a minute, as he pointed towards the front door.

Merida pushed the plate off the counter to let it shatter for good measure and then moved past Higgs without looking at him. She went out the door and slammed it as hard as she could. It didn't satisfy her, so she opened it up again and slammed it into the wall a few times, making sure the knob left a nice hole in the wall and then slammed it again.

*******************

Higgs sank in the kitchen, his tails wrapping around him in a fuzzy cocoon. They had never had a fight like that in the three years she had been in his employ. All of a sudden, something so silly as a boy's wish had driven him to release the one person in his life who never let him down. He finally admitted to himself that he had wanted to be with Merida for a long, long time, but she was right: he would always have doubt. It nothing to do with her in the least, it was all him. He had wanted to ask to make their happy little life real so often, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. She was too good to be true and he didn't trust it... he should, but he couldn't. With Elizabeth, she was completely virgin territory regarding the curse. He knew if he fell for her, there wouldn't be any doubt because she didn't know enough about it to factor in a sense of duty. Besides, he liked Elizabeth. He sighed and lifted his head up.

"Grow up, Higgs." He said to himself.

*********************

The month went on and Merida had just gone down to Margaret's mansion but Higgs never tried to contact her to come back. Merida knew he'd sort it out on his own like he did that year with the whole vampire incident. Fuchsia was worried though.

"I do hope you'll be over this by July."

"July?" Merida asked, setting the tray down. "What do ye mean?"

"Catherine and Kans are getting married in July. That's the only month where Uncle Kans is completely human with no gimmicks or false alarms. You two are in the wedding party."

"July is quite a hot month." Merida said.

"Like I said, it's the only month that Uncle Kans is completely human. Are you not going to talk about what happened at the mansion?"

"It's nothing to talk about. Higgs went into a tantrum because he realized his own idiocy and then got mad because I made him aware of it."

"But I've never heard of him saying what you said he said. Not that I think you're lying, I'm just saying it seems out of character for him."

"It's my fault. I should have just listened to Ma and not acted like a fool." Edgar said, sitting next Fuchsia.

"Higgs brought that upon himself." There was a knock at the door and Merida stood up. "I'll get it."

She walked over to the door and made a face.

"Bloody hell. I kenned I ran ye off."

"Oh my, I didn't know you worked here as well."

"For now I do. Ye trying to sell the same old speel again, sideshow master?"

"Would the lord of the house happen to be around?"

"He is resting at the moment and I dinnae ken anyone else wants to speak with ye. My offer still stands as I speak on behalf of all of the Northumberlys to ever exist: get yer fat ass off the property or I'll have someone do it for ye and it willnae be that pleasant."

"Of course. Have a good day."

Merida closed the door and went back to the living room, finding an extra person as she entered. The young boy turned around and waved.

"Hello, Merida!"

"Good morning to ye, Laird Northumberly. I kenned ye was asleep."

"I was but I couldn't go back to sleep and I didn't want to run into Castel. I saw him when I went to the balcony."

"How did you end up in that state?" I asked.

Jami blushed and turned away. "It's complicated."

Merida smiled. "I didnae ken that could happen."

"I woke up like this so it must have happened after we fell asleep."

"I see."

"Higgs is still being an idiot? I haven't seen him."

"I'm sure he's moping about... or, doing whatever."

There was another knock at the door and Merida went to open it, finding the other maid, Marlow.

"Marlow, what are ye doing here?"

"Could you please come and take care of Lord Northumberly? We seemed to have run out of wine and he's asking for this strange drink call 'socky'?"

Merida lifted an eyebrow. "The man is drunk?"

"Yes, ma'am, extremely. He hasn't stop drinking since the big fight happened and then he gets mad at us if we aren't you."

"Oi, blimey, he will be the death of me yet. I kenned he'd make an issue. I'm sure the lovely Elizabeth would be happy to see him out on his ass. Where is it in the house?"

"He kind of goes everywhere. He wanders up and down the stairs and just wherever he wants to be. He keeps cursing your name and saying 'you're the idiot' as he points as whoever walks by. Then he gets mad and threatens with foxfire the person he ran into for not being you."

"Alright then. I'll got and clean up that mess. Edgar, I need ye."

"Yes?" he asked.

"I need ye to run down to the market and find that Oriental fellow we've done business with for a while and ask if he has something called 'socky'. Get it and come back to the mansion."

"Alright."

"I'll... go do damage control. Has he broken anything in the house?"

"Not yet, ma'am."

"I have a right mind to call upon Lady Hinkley and ask her to come and see what she would have to deal with."

"Lady Hinkley? As in, Elizabeth Hinkley?" Jami asked, swinging his legs on the chaise.

"Aye, the very one."

"Fancy her, does he?"

"He's had his eye on her for a while but then the whole Laird Clarvins thing and so many other things..."

"Hmm... then... why is he drunk?"

"We had a fight. That's why I've been working here."

"Oh. I thought it was something else... Are you sure giving him more alcohol will help?"

"No, but he's done it once afore and tis best to just feed the beast until it sleeps. I may be coming back here, Margaret, so could ye keep a bed for me?"

"Of course, dear."

Merida sighed and went outside, lifting her skirts to follow Marlow up the hill to her master's mansion.

***************************

When she got there, the door opened and a chamber pot was thrown out at a high velocity, almost skimming both her and Marlow's heads.

"Blimey, he's got an arm." Merida growled.

"No offense, Ms. Dunbrough, but I think I'm going to leave the rest to you?"

"Aye, probably be for the best. An Edgar comes, tell him to come in quietly."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Oh, and tell Ailers to sneak into the kitchen and see if the cook wouldn't mind making some small cakes. He likes cakes."

"Yes, ma'am."

Marlow left and Merida sighed, pulling her hair up into a small ponytail with the piece of ribbon she had procured at Margaret's. She opened the door and followed the sound of an angry animal gnashing its teeth. As she cleared the foyer and headed into the living room, she heard something breaking and furniture moving abruptly. She went to the living room and found Higgs in his true kitsune form just snarling at everything. He had only done it once before and it was always a sight to see the large nine-tailed fox in all its glory. The fur was fluffy and bouncy and an interesting faded gold color. Upon smelling Merida, Higgs turned, his shining silver eyes boring into her soul, his oblonged pupil narrowed into a mere line.

"You! I've been waiting for you." He snarled, a crackle behind his words.

"Aye, so ye have."

"You owe me an apology."

"For what?"

"You know what it is."

"I'm afraid I dinnae."

He trampled to her and then slammed her against the wall, his sharp claws pinning her to the wall all around her.

"Don't play games with me!"

"Ye're drunk, milaird. I dinnae ken ye even know what ye're talking about or saying."

"How long have you loved me?"

Merida blinked. "What did ye ask?"

"How long have you loved me?"

"I've always loved ye, Laird Northumberly-"

"Stop it! STOP IT!" he screamed, pulling his paw from her and covering his ears. "Stop twisting my words and meanings! You know how I mean what I'm asking!"

Merida breathed in and then looked at her arm, feeling a sting, and seeing that his claws had scraped her arm enough to bleed. She walked over to him as he stared down at her and she held out her hand to him. He lifted his lip to growl at her but he put his muzzle on her tiny hand.

"I admit that I love ye more than I should. I have feelings for ye more than I ought to. But the truth of the matter is that I would never do anything to make yer life worse. In our situation, ye and me, ye cannae trust me in the right way yet. Look at ye now... all beastly and drunk because ye dinnae want to face the truth. What everyone says is true and ye want to do it but ye cannae bring yerself to do it... because ye dinnae e'en trust yer own heart. I have proven time and again the doubts that ye present to yerself are false but yer trauma doesnae allow the connection. Ye trust me in every other way possible but the one that ye want." Merida touched her forehead to his muzzle and stroked his fur. "I would to anything for ye, walk worlds for ye, and die for ye, but ye willnae e'er believe it... no matter how hard ye try... and it hurts ye to realize that."

Higgs stepped back and reverted down to his human size, though still a fox, and then walked back to her, putting his head on her shoulder.

"Why? Why can't I do it right? It's all right there and I just can't even... I can't grasp it. It's like mist..."

"Because in yer heart ye still cannae believe it to be true. Someone who truly has no ulterior motives? Someone who truly doesnae care about what ye are? Someone who would actually take the steps to break this curse? Someone like that doesnae just fall into yer lap and yet I did... A miracle couldnae be so easy to obtain."

He sniffled and Merida pet his head. "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..."

"Tis why I never said anything."

"I wish I could trust you... I want to trust you!" he wailed.

"When ye feel it, ye will feel it. Until then, I ken my place beside ye and whatever decision ye make, I will always be there. There's only one thing I ask from ye an ye pursue another lass." He looked up. "I have mentioned it afore but I will remind ye now: I will support ye with whomever ye choose but an I feel even an ounce of uneasiness, promise me that ye will listen to me. I wouldnae say anything I didnae feel strongly about it. If ye can keep that promise and just listen to my concerns, I willnae get in yer way. Ye can forget this conversation and so will I and we will live as laird and maid."

"I love you, Merida... I really do..."

"I ken ye do, lad. I love ye too... tis why I never wanted ye to know..."

Higgs started morphing back into his human form, bawling his eyes out. He loved her so much and yet he couldn't trust her with the one thing that would make his blasted curse go away. She was right and he always thought it had been just too easy to find someone like her. His family was never that lucky. Even if he knew for a fact that she had nothing to gain but his love and his humanity, his heart would never let him fully believe that. And that small bit of doubt would leave room for the curse to backfire and leave him feeling guilty for what would happen to his son... just like Jami did with him and how Kans' mother did for him.