That night, Merida had a very nice dream. It was so nice that she actually woke herself up, smiling and quite sweaty. She thought about washing herself off when she felt like someone was watching her and looked at the foot of her bed. She yelped, sitting up quickly.

"Lady Elizabeth?!"

"You think I didn't see it?"

"See... what?"

"The way he grabbed your hand and not mine?"

"Um..."

Elizabeth jumped onto the bed and shoved Merida back onto the bed. She pinned her shoulders down, straddling Merida, and then brandished a knife.

"Let's get things straight, Ms. Dunbrough: Lord Northumberly is mine. If you don't stay out of my way, then I will make you. Do you understand, Scotty? Or do I need to convince you in another way?" she said, sliding the flat part of the knife on her cheek.

Merida watched her in the dim lantern light, unsure if Elizabeth was sleepwalking, drunk, or serious. Merida moved her hand to move Elizabeth's knife out of the way and she complied quite easily, showing Merida that she wasn't fully aware of herself.

"Ye come into my room in my home and threaten me with a knife from my own kitchen? I dinnae care if ye're fully conscious or not, an ye draw a knife on me, ye had best be ready to use it." Merida snatched the knife out of her hand and held it to Elizabeth's throat at point. "I hope ye remember this tiny bit of conversation if nothing else: whatever ye are doing to mess with Mr. Higgs, ye best stop it."

"You have no proof."

"No, I dinnae. But I'm not some dumb bitch from Scotland, ye English whore. Something is wrong here and it's yer doing. Whatever it is, keep this in the back of her mind: an ye hurt Mr. Higgs in any way, I'll make sure to give ye a smile from ear to ear in yer bed in yer house with yer knife." She moved the knife to Elizabeth's face, tracing the edge on her cheeks. "Do ye ken what I mean?" Elizabeth didn't say anything and Merida sat back down, pointing at the door. "Go back to yer room, Lady Hinkley. I ken ye've had quite a night."

Elizabeth promptly left the room. Once she was gone, Merida sighed and put the knife on the bedside table, running her fingers through her hair.

"I guess I ken what's in her heart now... The woman was completely asleep..."

**************

The next morning, both Elizabeth and Higgs looked like they were about to vomit. Merida set down a small tray with tea and small scones. Higgs reached out and grabbed one, nibbling on it.

"Seeing as how I was in my own bed when I woke up, did things not work out?" he asked.

"Things worked out just fine, Mr. Higgs. I believe Lady Elizabeth was sleep walking though and must have gone back to her room." Merida said, looking at Edgar.

"I find it funny you aren't in the same horrid predicament we are." Elizabeth said, grabbing a teacup.

" I drank a small bit of Scotch, not two bottles of wine and the rest of my Scotch."

"Sorry." They both said.

"I'll make sure to get you another one." Higgs said.

"Ye'd better."

"I vaguely recall talking to you in your room for some reason. Is that all in my head or did we really have a conversation?"

"Ye were sleepwalking, I believe. Ye didnae seem quite yerself."

"I do apologize about that. Gretchen says that I sometimes sleepwalk at the house and go to her room and it scares her half to death."

"I'm used to strange things being in my room, so no worries. Now that all this is over, could we please stop with the alcohol?"

"I concur. Ban it from the estate." Higgs said.

"I'm banning it from ye; dinnae punish everraone else for yer flaw."

"Mmm..." he answered, waving her off.

The two ate a few scones and a cup of tea each. Elizabeth said her farewells and said she would get in touch later. Higgs didn't care, wanting to go back to sleep.

**********

With the deed 'done' and Higgs having to sleep off his hangover for three days straight, things went back to normal. Elizabeth hadn't come by since that night (most likely sleeping like Higgs) and things carried on as usual.

**************

"Got ya."

"What are ye doing, Mr. Higgs?" she said, looking at the arms that had wrapped around her torso. "Please tell me ye arenae drunk this time? I swear I grabbed everra hidden bottle I could find..."

"No, I pledged abstinence. What are you making?" he asked, looking over her shoulder and setting his chin on it.

"Stew. Havenae had it in a while. Been fancy since Lady Hinkley has been about."

"Very true. When will it be done?"

"Not for a while; I just started it."

"Then... would you mind indulging me in something?"

Merida frowned and turned to him. "In what?"

He took her hand and pulled her out of the kitchen and over to the coat closet that was beside the front door opposite the stairs. He pulled out all the coats and then pulled her into the closet, closing the door into pitch black.

"What in blazes-"

"I want to confess."

"Uh... ye're at the wrong place speaking to the wrong person."

"I'm where I want to be. I don't want to see the way you may be looking at me. It's unconventional but..."

"Alright then." She said with a sigh.

"I am drawn to Lady Hinkley and I want to be with her, but it's as if my mind is being pulled in two directions. Everything you have said regarding my actions towards you is right. What I have done is unfair and cruel. I... I personally don't understand what's wrong with me. The night of that poorly planned whatever you call it, the reason I wanted to drink wasn't because I was nervous. It was because while Elizabeth was there as I had asked her to be, all I could do was watch you. Everything about you was so sensual that night and yet... and yet I felt compelled to try and be with Elizabeth. As much as I don't remember from that night, I do remember one thing: I grabbed you to my room. I wanted you."

"I see." She said, having heard all these sweet nothings before.

"I know this just sounds like complete bollocks to you and I'm sure you don't care to hear it anymore, since I've done you so wrong in the past few months... past four years, really."

"I got used to that but I honestly could care less about what ye do and more along the lines of finality. I have been quite patient for far longer than I would ever be with anyone else."

"I know. I know, and I respect that, and it's what gives you your charm. You deserve to not have to worry about me and my attitude."

"It's not that. I just want ye to pick one of us. One. And no flipflopping."

"Would you believe me if I said it was you?"

"So far, ye really havenae kept to that answer."

"Then... may I?"

"May ye what?"

"Prove my answer."

"The only way ye could would be-"

Higgs put his hands on her shoulders and pulled her to him, kissing her on the lips tenderly and thinking how lucky it was that mermen could see in the dark. Merida pulled away though.

"Kissess willnae work with me. It's not something ye havenae done afore."

"I know, so I'm going to call it off with Elizabeth."

"I will believe it when I see it."

"I promise that that it was I'm going to do. Since kisses don't work, could I prove it to you in some other way?"

**************

"Edgar?" Edgar turned from watering some plants outside to Marlow. "Have you see Merida? Or Mr. Higgs?"

"Not for a while now."

"She's got the stew unattended! It's unlike her to just leave food cooking without being nearby."

"Maybe she had to do something."

"She would have asked someone to watch the supper if that were the case. Can you help me find one of them?"

Edgar nodded and walked back into the house as he and Marlow searched everywhere for Higgs and Merida. As they got to the front to go upstairs, Edgar took in the ejected coats.

"What happened here?"

"I don't know." There was a thud close by and her turned his head. "Did you hear that?"

"Yes. It sounds like it's coming from the coat closet."

There was another thud and a muffled laugh. Edgar and Marlow looked at each other and went over to the door. Edgar grabbed the knob and wrenched open the door, everyone screaming at the same time.

"A BHEIL THU FHIOS AGAM!" Merida yelled in Gaelic.

"MR. HIGGS!" Marlow yelled.

"MA!" Edgar screamed, throwing his hands over his eyes.

"IT'S MY BLOODY HOUSE! CLOSE THE DOOR!" Higgs screamed.

Marlow slammed the door closed, breathing hard as she looked at Edgar.

"You saw-"

"Yes."

"But isn't-"

"I don't know anymore, Marlow..."

The door opened again as Higgs was buttoning his shirt. "Don't you understand privacy?" he growled.

"Privacy is in your own room, Mr. Higgs!" Marlow yelled.

"I own the house, so the whole thing is privy to be my room whenever I decide it to be."

"But the coat closet?" Edgar asked.

"Yes, Edgar, the coat closet." He grumbled. "If you'll excuse me, I need to go write a letter."

He stormed off up the stairs as Merida still sat in the floor, waiting. Marlow turned to her as she looked up nonchalantly.

"You should be ashamed."

"I should be, but I'm not."

"Ma!"

Marlow just left as Merida got off the floor and turned to put her dress back on.

"How could you?"

"It wasnae easy since the closet was a wee bit cramped-"

"MERIDA!" Edgar screamed.

She turned around and put her hands on his shoulders.

"Oi, calm down, laddie."

"Here!" Higgs came down the stairs quickly and held out a piece of paper. "Tell me if this sounds alright."

Merida snatched the paper and then frowned. "No. This willnae do."

"But I technically-"

"Ye did no such thing. I made sure of it."

"What?"

"Not with me or her that night. Ye would have regretted doing it like that, no matter how much ye may have wanted to. Wasnae right."

"But you said-"

"I said it so ye would stop drinking yerself mad. Didnae it seem odd to ye that everra time ye tried to do things with her, ye had to be dog drunk to do it? That's not normal and ye were hurting only yerself."

Higgs was a little miffed at being lied to, but she was right.

"You should have told me, Merida."

"I couldnae verra well say it in front of her, ye'd try to try it again. I was just keeping ye from drinking yerselves silly over something that we just did spontaneously, no drinking required. I ken it really wasnae my business, but it is my duty to keep ye safe."

Higgs moved his mouth a little, trying to compute if she had overstepped or saved him.

"You're certain that I didn't touch her?"

"No, milord." Edgar said. "As she said, things were much too chaotic. To be honest, I don't think you would have been able to anyway because the both of you were... quite intoxicated."

"I see... I'm not exactly happy that you lied to me but you do make a fair point. If I have to get that drunk to be with a woman, then I don't think it's a good idea... But Elizabeth doesn't know that we didn't consummate, right?"

"Weel, I'm sure it will dawn on her when she doesnae get pregnancy symptoms within the next couple of months..." Merida said flippantly.

Higgs suddenly realized what just happened and looked horrified. "Oh my good lord! Merida!" she said, looking at her in fear.

"Dinnae ye worry about it right now. Ye just need to be frank and truthful with her... aside from the sex."

"Why?"

"To prove yer point. Weel... change of plans, tell her that nothing happened between you both but dinnae ye mention me."

"I wouldn't dream of it. I'll be right back."

He left again to go write his letter as Edgar watched him.

"What's changed? Why is he doing this?"

"I have no idea, but an he's breaking it off with Elizabeth then I have no qualms."

"What if he does the thing again?"

"For some reason I feel like he willnae do it again but whatever happens, we'll wait and see."

"This is very weird. I don't like this."

"Do ye trust me?"

"Yes."

"Then trust me. Come and help me pick up these coats."

He nodded and they started to put the coats back in the closet.