Dumb Lizards and Stupid Balloons

Dabbing her index finger against the surface of the yellow star of her wand. Star sighed and found defeat with this not sorting itself out by itself. Dropping the wand on her bed Star proceeded to take a groaning face dive into her at least made bed.


"I give up."


"You can't give up," Marco doing his best to be the voice of support looked at his drained best friend low growl into her pillows, "Star-"


"No don't you get it Marco," She sprung up from her face plant and began her lecture, "I try and do good, I try! And when I try things only get harder! I don't want harder-"


"Star."


"Why can't for once, just once, can one thing happen and it not be all 'Star call your mom' 'Star maybe you need help' 'Star you-'"


"Star."


"Ugh just when I think I'm getting the hang of this and-"


"STAR." Marco not above grabbing her shoulders and throttling some sense into her rambling brain.


Which did the trick and Star flopped off the railroad of funk she was going down, "Thanks."


"Well, that wasn't really what I wanted..." He wasn't just going for her monologging to stop, "Where's Kathryn?"


"Who?" Star looked at him half listening.


"Oh my god," He groaned and drug his palms down his face vexed more than he was ten minutes ago when Star called him in, "The criminal, the literal criminal living in my house."


"Hey," Star's face soured with his choice of words, "She is not a criminal! Why can't you just give her a chance?"


"Chance? Chance to what?! Kill us in our sleep? Drag our bodies off for profit?? Chance for what Star?!" Marco frothed with his already decided ideal of the other mewman.


His words really didn't sit well with Star and she huffed loudly grabbing her wand and bumping past him, "Marco, you know for someone who preached difference and being yourself to those princesses, you're...you're being a real turd about this."


"Turd?!" Marco gasped like that was the worse insult he'd ever gotten, "How am I being a turd?! She's some criminal with a record that your mom only let come here because she trusts you! Not Kathryn! She trusts you! Star why can't you see she's dangerous?"


"Oh I don't know, maybe because she's done absolutely nothing everyone claims she did?!" Star threw her arms up frustrated, "She has yet to prove you, my mom, anyone right! She even helped with your Princess Turdina inspired riot at St. Oglas!"


"She could have just as easily turned on us!"


"But she didn't! Marco why can't you see that!" At her boiling point Star knew she'd say something she would regret and did the second best just to gnaw on her lips to keep them shut.


Exhaling slowly Marco did know one thing and that was how badly this was eating Star. He shook his head and slouched a little, "Listen...I'm sorry. I should trust you. Even if that means about other people."


Star's eyes shut tight and she just rubbed her temple with the hand not holding her wand, "Marco....you're my best friend and nothing is going to replace that. But this thing with my wand," She gestured to the strange temperamental state her wand had been in, "And that big thing with Ponyhead and St. Oglas....I just would really like to not have to think about you always fighting about Kathryn. She's been...she's been really nice to have another mewman around," Star felt stupid saying it as she had the ability to go back home any time she wanted, but the fact of having a little bit of home even if it was another mewman was a comfort, "I feel bad for what my mom did to her. And I want to make it up."


"Star..." Marco laid a hand on her shoulder, "What your mom did has nothing to do with you. You know that right?"


Her gaze hung low for a while. Not finding the words till a few fleeting seconds later, "I know...but...I'm going to be Queen someday. And...I don't want to treat people unfairly. I mean, look at Bufffrog." Star shrugged and made an empty gesture, "He's a real great dude, even if he is a monster. I wouldn't have known that if I didn't follow my gut. And my gut says Kathryn belongs here with us." She stopped and looked at her wand, "Even if things are weird right now. Maybe, that's why she's here. To help."


It was hard but Marco knew her heart was in the right place and perhaps he'd really been harassing her about the wrong thing. He opened his arms and offered a hug. Clearly in need of one Star embraced him and squeezed it out in one good hug.


"...but seriously," Marco interjected on the a side of the hug, "Where is she? You didn't turn her invisible with a botched spell did you?"


"What?" Taking a moment Star thought it was weird until she realized there was normally three of them, "Oh! No I sent her to the store for balloons!"


"Balloons, baaaaallooooons...ba-lloons," Dottling down the sidewalk Kathryn mouthed the oh so strange word to herself more than once. A bit of a language gap when Star up and said she needed balloons for a friendaversary thingy, Kathryn was finally able to deduce that she meant the ornate plastic floating balls she'd seen at one of the flower shops in the towns hub. Literally no idea they had a word for it Star was very insistent she get three of them.


One red, one yellow and one green one.


Odd enough but Kathryn wasn't really sure the entire protocol on if she followed Star's orders or if she didn't. Finding no harm in it since she did at least know where the items she wanted were, Kathryn took the leap of faith and wandered out on her own for the first time in a very long time.


About as wonderful as she remembered it, Kathryn was irritated in less than the ten minutes she'd been gone. Realizing this recurrence of old memories flooding her brain disoriented her in the present earth she thought she remembered. One turn led to another. When one looked like the other and nothing registered. Kathryn damned if she wasn't going to get it right finally made one sharp turn around a left corner and instantly regretted her impulsive navigating.


"Oh not this again...." She grumbled under her breath when she had to crane her head back to stare at the giant hood shrouded monster before her, "Please...not today...this balloon thing is already dumb enough." Kathryn's recommendation to the being not to do anything was blatantly ignored and they lashed out with a giant set of claws. Lurching back she evaded the brutes slow action without much of a sweat, "Fine, I guess we're doing this."


A little wobbly on the offensive, it was still something so engrained her muscle memory didn't need much to recall the old fighting patterns. Maybe not a great partner, Kathryn did have one of the best to teach her hand to hand combat. Shining through as her movements became more fluid and pushed her assailant back. Kathryn struck out each time to be blocked with a giant green forearm or side stepped just by a sliver of a hair. None of her attacks earned a blow but nothing stopped her. Thinking she was just one step ahead, she was foiled when her fist was caught with the animatronic arm of her attacker.


"Heh," they snickered and seized a fist with their free hand meant to slug her in the stomach. Diving right into fighting dirty, Kathryn did not hesitate to duck and smash her heel into the booted toe of the monster who gripped her fist, "OWE! C'mon! Who does that you little-"


"Rasticore?!" Dismayed to even believe her ears when she heard the recognizable gravelly voice, Kathryn vomiting out the name without second thought.


"Huh? How do you-" Turning attention from their sore foot, the giant monster stopped and squinted angular yellow eyes down harder on the frenzied little devil they'd been sent to kidnap, "Tiny one?! What the fu-"


"What are you even-?!" Choked on her words Kathryn whipped around searching for a chance this was all staged or a dream, "How are you here?!"


"Me?!" He threw off his hood and the huge frilled lizard humanoid aghast by the past little morsel standing in front of him, "What are you doing being the one I have to kidnap?!"


"Kidnap?! You were going to kidnap me?!" Kathryn half a mind to sock the brute in the stomach even though she still stood barely half his height, "What in the absolute hel-"


"Where's your prince." Rasticore immediately noting she was alone. The last time he saw her alone was the single time a young Rasticore got a licking for some stupid actions from a fellow septarian.


"Huh?" Suddenly blind sided with his question, Kathryn stood with her clenched fist raised blinking trying to register what he just asked, "My wh-" She caught herself when her synapses clicked and he meant exactly who he mentioned.


Clueless Rasticore didn't take the cue when she lowered her fist and looked elsewhere, "That bastard, I've still got that stupid scar he gave me for absolutely-"


"Toffee is dead."


"What?" Rasticore paused mid monolog.


Kathryn wiped at her face and didn't look up, "...he's dead..."


Like it took a few neurological brides to form, or he was just savoring the announcement, Rasticore abruptly popped off, "Hah! I win! I win that dumb pompous septarsis as- Hey wait, where are you going?"


Surprised he even notice her wander off in the other direction, Kathryn wondered if humoring him with a response was necessary, "I'm going to get balloons or..whatever they are I don't know."


"Wait you can't-" Rasticore grabbed her shoulder.


Immediately she swatted off his touch with a far more peeved look that expected, "Or what? Your going to laugh some more about it and rub it in my face? Is that what you wanna do? Gloat like some douchey jerk because even though you apparently have only one arm and one eye," She rudely gestured to the robot arm and the strange purple crystal embedded in his left eye, "You managed to out live your commander that you deserted. Is that it?"


Not the most gentle, as being a monster never came with that claim, Rasticore sighed with a self conscious arm coming up and scratching the back of his head, "....hey...I'm sorry ok."


"Oh, sorry makes things soooo much better."


He tugged at the cape neck too bunched around the lowered frill flaps on the sides of his head, Rasticore didn't exactly have the best of means to express much of anything, "No...I'm sorry I reacted like that. We didn't have a good relation but...I know you two did....and I like to think you and I did."


Refusing to waste more tears on this Kathryn met his downward gaze with her own sullen grey eyes. Brutish or not, her memories were filled with this lizard at least trying more often than not. Kathryn shook her head and tipped her head back farther to stare up at the periwinkle evening sky, "...I was stupid and young, he made sure to correct me for being foolish."


"Us being friends was not foolish! That snout muzzled son of a-" Rasticore stopped himself and tried to throw away the insulting thoughts for persuasion of her own benefit, "No no no, that's not what I mean. We had our differences, that's fine."


"You left the moment a little girl scared you!" Kathryn not above being angry through her arms up in the air, "You all left! No one came back but to steal and loot!"


"And you should have come with! You should have gone with me! Monsters winning against mewman's was never going to happen! That war was over before it began!"


"I'm a mewman Rasticore!" Unbelievable how dense he still was Kathryn groaned and couldn't find a respectable enough gesture to make with her hands in the middle of public, or as public as a side street was, "I'm...I'm mewman...maybe that's where I was wrong all along."


"Hey you were never wrong," His deep voice rattled in her brains and Kathryn wished she wasn't hearing it, "Of all the 'unjustices' in the world-"


"No," Kathryn bit his words in two and stopped him right there, "Absolutely do not."


"Ok ok ok," Rasticore raised his hands defensively, "I get it...I'm not a prince and not this master planner. But I'm still here aren't I?"


Looking him up and down, big, dumb and bulging with muscle, Kathryn flashed on the fact maybe Toffee was up to something when he said not to trust other septarians, "Get lost Rasticore."


"See, about that," He gracelessly palmed the back of his scaly neck once more, "I still kinda got a job I gotta do and well, you coming back with me is kind of a huge part of that."


Kathryn scoffed about to turn around and tell him how it was never going to happen, "First off you never beat me during trai-"


Rasticore didn't wait for her to finish. Rude or not he doused that rucksack over her head mid sentence and flung her over his broad back without hesitation, "Sorry tiny one, nothing personal. Monster just doing a monsters job."


"Oh Rasticore~" Sultry and drawn out, the pale older woman ran her lavender gloved hands down the larger lizard's forearm as he dropped the tote sack he'd drug through the dimensional portal.


"Miss Heinous where would you like that-"


"Gemini!" She lashed out at the trollish little dwaddling eye patched and peg legged minion of hers carting in a tray of dirty water and old biscuits, "Not now! We're busy~"


"Yeah, about that," Rasticore laughed a little in the back of her throat, "She may or may not be the right-"


"Let me see her!" Miss Heinous ripped into the bag without heeding a warning. Letting losing a frenzy of limbs scrambling to fight their way out of the bag.


"I told you so...." Rasticore mumbled under his breath and stepped back, far back.


"Stupid lizard! Stupid useless reptilian piece of-" Kathryn shocked herself into silence when her eyes became adjusted not to the green snout of the monster she was ready to pummel, but in fact the haggard face of the old woman Marco had dethroned from her little princess show of horrors school. Sliding a nervous glance from the woman fixated on her to the trollish butler and her real target far out of her reach, Kathryn was left with a long, "Uhhhh."


"Silence!" Miss Heinous shushed her immediately, "Friend of Princess Turdina, prepare to be out right-"


"Turdina?" Kathryn gagged out a laugh, "You think I'm a friend?! Ha! That jerk hates me..."


"What?" Shifting from the evil mastermind she thought she had plotted out, Miss Heinous looked dumbfounded at the woman she was pretty sure would be her bargaining chip in her war on the awful Princess Turdina, "But you, you were one of the girls fighting with her! You were there! I saw you!"


"I have to be," Kathryn very candid about the fact Marco's escapades were one she wish to sit out of, "I have to do as the princess says, I'm kind of, under house arrest? I don't really get it I have to-"


"So you do have to do what the princess says!" Miss Heinous latched onto the one word she wanted to hear and ran with it, "She will rue the day she has-"


"No no no," Kathryn shook her head, "I don't listen to Princess Turdina, or whatever, I'm pretty sure they don't even want me there..."


"Can say that again..." Rasticore unwittingly popped off.


Kathryn at her wits end with the snide stupidity her former associate kept making at the expense of the last two months of repressed feelings she tried to stuff away, "That is it you over sized dumb lug of a-!"


"Rasticore?" Heinous blocked the onslaught path Kathryn was on when she looked up at her bounty hunter, "You, know this girl?"


"Pff, know her," Rasticore snorted and turned his snout up at them both, "We have a history."


Even how he chose to phrase it enraged Kathryn and she was about ready to tear his frills from the sides of his head, "We do not-!"


"You came to my Boarding School not for Princess Turdina but for my Rasticore! Wench!" Heinous jumping to her own conclusion not reading a single note in the room on how wrong she was.


Shocked Kathryn stopped her rage filled stare at Rasticore long enough to see the woman working herself into some unplanned frenzy. Done with this entire day Kathryn wanted to let out her rage. But clearly too long spent around a teenage girl and all her emotions could muster were the dam of big fat tears breaking behind her eyes and flooding her face. This was all too much.


Broad sided with her kidnapped victim breaking down in tears before her plan even unfolded, Miss Heinous swatted at her meekly trying to get her to follow the plan she'd foreseen in her head, "Wha? What are you?! Why are you crying! I haven't even tortured you yet! Stop it! Stop it I have a message for the thieving princess, she has to pay for-"


"What? What do you want from me lady?" Kathryn looked up at her from watery eyes, "You want me to tell Princess Turdina you're going to kill me if she doesn't cooperate? Or force me to double down and lie to her for all the knowledge you want? You going to torture me? Kill me? Just do it," Kathryn broke her eyes away and rested her face in the crossed arms on her knees, "Just do it this is all for nothing."


Stunned by her self deprecating performance, Miss Heinous glanced at Gemini who shrugged and then to Rasticore. Who at least parted some words, "...she has a point, she's been through waaaaay worse."


Plan beginning to slip away it was all of one thing the older woman could clearly focus on, "How do you two know each other?!"


Kathryn glanced at Heinous and then laid her eyes on Rasticore. She was not above pinning it on the goliath to explain it to his obvious boss. He nervously laughed and half shrugged with a poor excuse of crossing his arms, "Well...I mean you see...it was a long time ago...and we, you know."


"As your boss I demand you tell me why you know this little girl!" Heinous tithing with obvious jealousy since Princess Marco/Turdina master plan seemed on hold.


Laughing Rasticore stumbled over really recapping their brief history. Each word more and more painful for Kathryn to hear until she had enough and threw away his explanation, "We fought under the same commander....when the monsters tried to rebel against the mewmans."


"Rebel? Monsters...?" Heinous recollected something of the sorts hearing of the very old scuffle perhaps twenty five or more years ago, "But you're mewman....and nowhere nearly old enough to make such a claim! Lying insolet worm just trying to-!"


"Rasticore Chaosus Disastervaine, septarsis in nature. One of the leading commands for the central army under our Commander," Kathryn recited his old regulating title among the army in one swift expose, her eyes never faulting from Rasticore's guilty yellow ones, "The Lizard...to which I served...as a second hand."


Dropped with a lot of unexpected knowledge a frazzled Miss Heinous craned her neck back as Kathryn finished and looked to her bounty hunter for confirmation on the just spoken words. Swaying like if it was worth it to agree or just deny and let Heinous have her way beating the ideal truth out of the other mewman. Rasticore caved and knew he couldn't deny Kathryn's truth even after all this time, "...she's one of us."


"A monster?" Miss Heinous leapt to far with the accusation.


"No, a sympathizer," Rasticore crossed his arms and arrogantly looked away from Kathryn and her satisfied look for him doing as she wanted.


"I've....spent a lot of time on earth," Kathryn added to the confusion in the older woman's face, "Banished, for it, by the Queen and High Commision."


"You were banished?!" Rasticore blurting out her little tidbit coming into light. Somehow in his lizard brain her being caught by the Royal Family wasn't ever something he concieved.


Kathryn rolled her eyes but didn't humor him. Instead turning her attention to the recalculating displaced woman before her, "...I'm sorry, Miss Heinous was it? I just...I don't think I'm the right person to kidnap, Mar- Princess Turdina is only housing me because the Butterfly family ordered it. I'm just a crimina-"


"Just like those presumptuous ill mannered princesses! You're just another casualty in their wake of neglent teachings! You! You are why St. Oglas needs to be taken back!" Heinous grabbed Kathryn's shoulder in the exploit of her life, "They think they can just do whatever they want! To whomever they want! But look, you're just like me!"


"Huh I don't think you're-" Kathryn began to try and filter through the wrong she was spewing but it didn't seem to cut it.


"Wronged! Wronged by princess's who parade around doing what they want! That's why we turn to monsters!" Heinous overjoyed beyond what she really meant, her eyes darting to Rasticore before flittering back onto her not so kidnapped prisoner now, "You saw what I see! How to right the wrong and it begins with taking away the individuality of spoiled princesses who think they can grow up to ignore the rules!" Overzealous Heinous didn't bat an eye as she celebrated the very thin veil of connection she was jumping to just by Kathryn seeming to have knowledge of her bounty hunter like none other seemed to understand. Mewman unafraid of monster. Heinous bubbling with new ideas patted Kathryn's head and then pushed her back towards Rasticore, "Oh this is so much better than having to cut out your tongue and send you back! You will understand! You will help, oh I must revise my plans right now! Rasticore!"


"Yes Miss Heinous," he stepped forward glad to be out of the spotlight of interrogation by the old woman.


"Take her back! Oh and," she grabbed Kathryn once more and spread an evil grin so far it nearly cracked her porcelain skin, "Tell Princess Turdina, her victory was small for nothing. I will bring back the right in this word."


"No wait I-"


Heinous did not let one word out of her mouth stop her frothing of diabolical plans stop. She poked more holes in what Kathryn said than even Marco could manage to do. Feeling bad she wanted to correct the fact this entire feud was stupid but didn't get the chance. The woman shooed her away and Rasticore more excited to leave the crazy woman didn't listen even as Kathryn fought to clarify things.


Drug through the dimensional portal Rasticore conjured with his overkill chainsaw. Kathryn a little addled as she stepped out onto the familiar sidewalk of earth. Taking a moment she looked around and registered it was almost nighttime but second that everything that crazy woman just spouted off may or may not have been prelude to danger she was probably not suppose to let Star into.


"Just stay away from her," Rasticore's voice intruded on her thoughts, "She's crazy."


"You work for her," Kathryn rebutted with a skeptic gaze as her inner voice was really telling her to go tell Star about it all.


"I'm a monster, you're a mewman, you don't have to get caught up in this," he returned with a softer inflection that he normally allowed.


It sat heavy with Kathryn and it slowly dawned on her she really was mewman, "...I'm sorry I called you a useless reptile piece of shit."


Rasticore snorted through his nostrils, "I shouldn't have started what I did...I know better than to mess with the second in command."


"Heh," Kathryn awkwardly laughed and averted her eyes as his remark sat, strangely, she didn't really know how to articulate it. Which was probably for best when the sudden realization that she was a block away from the Dias's house and balloon less, "The balloons! No no no I can't go back without those whatever's she asked for and now they'll find out and I'll end up-"


Rasticore sheared the end of hos chainsaw into the air, opening just a arm sized portal in the dimension. Fishing in he struggled and grabbed for something on the other side. He made a painful show of whatever he was trying to grab, until it was three oversized balloons he yanked out of the glowing portal. He thrusted the strings in his fist towards her.


Blinking as there really wasn't much more that could top an already weird afternoon. She did not decide to over think it and took the ribbons from him.


One red, one yellow and one green.
Looking up the balloons, she shifted her grey eyes on the old friend in front of her, "...thank you....I just....really, thank you."


Not being able to be humble for longer than a few seconds, Rasticore winked at her and pulled up his hood before too much attention might be drawn in the twilight, "I shouldn't have left you alone with him, that I can't take back." Rasticore shoulders heaved with a bit of a sigh and he finally turned his face away, "Monsters will always be monsters, no amount of mewman touch will change that. And sometimes, those monsters look just like you." He spared her one last look, "Stop trying to fix things, you'll get yourself killed."


Before she could respond his trail of a purple cape was all that cinched up in the disappearing portal. What light had been cast on her now left her swallowed with the evening street lamps casting shadows on her face and the three balloons she stood holding like a dolt.


Stagnant and unable to really think or move, Kathryn stood staring at the place where Rasticore just was. A strange burning on her chest, right between her breasts. Unsure what it even was she was about to grab at her clothing when suddenly familiar voices snapped her from the ache in her chest.


"There she is! See I told you she was just getting the balloons!" Star's silhouette from the Dias's front door began waving wildly into the night at the same direction Kathryn was standing.


"Hey loser, what are you doing standing in the dark!" Marco, out of character as he was actually standing beside Star who beckoned her back to the house.


Confused. If what she just had happened was real. Or if she was just met with a really vivid memory she might have taken away before. Kathryn was stuck with balloons in hand even when Star and Marco dashed out to grab her.


"Marco was all like 'she doesn't know where they are' and I was like 'she totally can she's smart!' and I was like-" Star's narration was broken when Kathryn slung her arms around the girl in such an impulsive hug that even the affectionate Star had to take a moment to realize before wrapping herself around her friend, "Hey, you got the balloons Marco was only-"


"I've had a really really really long day," Kathryn laughed as she let go of Star and looked over at Marco who for once wasn't patronizing her, "...can we, just have a pizza night?"


Elated with the idea Star gushed to Marco about how she finally worn Kathryn down to accept how perfect the dubbed pizza night was. She bounced back into the house, after taking the balloons from Kathryn, and hollered for them both to hurry up.


"Hey, can you wait a moment," Marco held Kathryn back when she made to follow Star.


"Marco please," Kathryn began knowing the lecture that was coming, "I'm sorry I got lost looking for those things Star wanted, time got away from me, I didn't mean to-"


"I'm sorry," Marco's words caught her so far off guard that when he didn't say anything she couldn't even form a response. So he continued on, "I'm sorry I've been so hard on you these past two months. I guess, I guess the idea of this is a lot for me to think of. I'm kind of a-"


"Control freak?" She popped off to finish his sentence.


"Of a careful guy," Marco glared at her only a moment, "But Star really thinks the word of you, and she likes having you here....so, I'd like to say I'm sorry. If anything so she can stop worrying about us fighting and focus on more important things."


"Like her wand acting up?"


"Like her wand acting up."


Kathryn and Marco stared at each other for a moment longer as the words settled and she finally nodded accepting his apology, "Thank you Marco...I think I should tell you about what happened today."


"Beside you just getting the balloons....?" he drug off not liking the moment of honesty spiking from her right after calling a truths.


Kathryn sighed and looked at the house where Star was waving at both of them to come in and pick a pizza even though she was clearly already on the phone with the pizza place, "Let's...wait until after pizza. Then I'll tell you."

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