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Chapter 30: Baby Hearts Aren't As Cute As You

The kiss was quick and a minute had passed: 12:01. I opened my eyes to see who had stolen my first kiss of the new year. Expecting to see a grinning Lucas, a smirking Ian, or even a smug but scowling Tyler, I was repulsed to see feminine eyes staring back at me. Without even considering the mystery woman's feelings or thinking about how she would react, I wiped the kiss off with the side of my fist.

She raised an eyebrow. "Homophobic much?"

"Only when it comes to my own lips," I stammered.

She touched her heart and made a pouty face. "You hurt me. And I'm sure Beckett wouldn't approve," she added.

"Wouldn't he?"

"I'm sure kissing and sleeping with all of those girls sickened him."

"Yeah. He's a strong person."

"You know, I don't know why he even went through with the whole ordeal. Anyways, he'd be disappointed in you."

I made a face and shrugged my shoulders so my head was cushioned between the two blades. "I don't even know you."

"That doesn't mean I don't know you. Charlotte."

I narrowed my eyes. "Who are you?"

A tipsy Emma appeared, teetering from foot to foot. She slung her shoulder over the unnamed girl, giggling uncontrollably. "Hey, Becca."

"Emma!" she squealed, pecking her cheek voraciously.

I pointed between the both of them. "You two know each other?"

Becca nodded, throwing her head back and laughing. "Emma's my lover!"

I sent a questioning look to Emma. "What is she talking about?"

Emma slapped Becca's face playfully. "You're such a liar, Bec." She looked at me. "She's not my lover. Trust me. I am not lesbian."

"But I am," Becca cut in.

"And there's nothing wrong with that," Emma said.

"You've got that right," Becca said.

"Just because you're lesbian does not mean you have the right to kiss girls that aren't! Especially unsuspecting ones."

"You kissed back."

"I thought you were a guy."

"It was one kiss! It's not like I've got some lesbian disease."

Emma stood quietly between us but not as a barricade. She listened to our hopefully brief banter and remained neutral.

"I didn't say you did!" I protested.

"What? Do you think that kiss is going to flip you from straight to gay?"

"If it did, then, honey, you were never straight to begin with."

I so badly wanted to glare at her, but if I did it would've meant that she'd won. The amount of scorn and annoyance I felt towards her was unbelievable considering I had kissed her only moments ago.

"Hey, Charlotte," I heard Ian say before he planted a kiss on my cheek. "Sorry I wasn't here at midnight. I couldn't find you with this sea of people between us."

"I wish you had found me."

He nodded. "Me too."

During this time, Emma and Becca had slipped away, leaving us alone.

"I kissed a girl," I told him, causing me to wince a little. I was all for gay rights and all, but that didn't mean I was okay about a girl kissing me willy nilly. I wasn't about that life.

"And I missed it?"

"So who'd you kiss?" I asked. Ian wasn't one to not kiss a girl when he had the chance.

Ian kissed me, to which I immediately responded. "You are my first kiss of the new year, kitten."

"Oh, goodie!" I exclaimed sarcastically, although inside I couldn't help but feel a tingle of happiness.

Ian smiled. "Listen, I have a bit of a headache. Do you think we could go up to my room for a bit?"

"This isn't some new year's funny business, is it?"

"No. Unless you want it to be."

"I don't."

"I mean, there will probably be a few smooches."

I leaned in until our noses were touching. "I think I'm okay with that."

When he blinked, I felt his eyelashes against my eyelids. "You better be," he whispered into my ear, his breath tickling the helix of my ear.

He grabbed my hand and we escaped to his bedroom. It was significantly quieter in his room. I could barely hear the music that was once blasting and causing my eardrums to throb along to the beat. "Is this room soundproofed or something?" I joked, laughing as I fell onto the couch.

"Not completely. I still have to hear my parents when they yell."

"Or so your parents don't hear you having sex with a girl in your room?"

He smiled. "That too."

"I know you."

"I think everybody knows that about me, kitten."

I laughed. "Shut up."

"I'm going to go tell my friend to watch over the party and make sure it doesn't get out of control, okay? I'll be right back."

I shooed him away. "Do what you need to do. I'll just be here."

'"Are you going to strip down into some lingerie while I'm gone?"

"In your dreams!"

"Maybe you do know me," he mused thoughtfully.

I hit him. "Go away."

"I'll be back," he sang, swinging himself out the door.

"And not that you need to know this," I called out, "but I'm on my period."

"That's never stopped me before!"

"That is absolutely disgusting."

"You get used to it."

I rolled my eyes at his Ian-ness. There was no way to describe it. He was just...a sex-crazed freak with an outspoken personality. I drummed my finger on his couch, looking around his room for something to do. Who knows how long it would take for him to find whoever he was looking for? I had to be careful of what I was doing though. Last time I got burned and humiliated when I picked up a condom box. But in my defense, who has a condom box just lying around in the open? Ian, of course.

I knew it was incredibly wrong, but I couldn't help but snoop through his things. I wouldn't go through his drawers, but anything just laying around was fair game. I could cover it up and say it fell on the floor or something. But then again, who would push it to the floor? I strolled innocently around the room, looking for anything that might quench my curiosity. I had yet to kick that trait to the curb. I had a feeling that it wasn't looking to move out of my system anytime soon, and that was okay with me.

Sweeping over the top of his dresser and under the bed, I finally found something worth looking at taped behind his massive lamp on his bedside table. I crinkled my eyebrows, my fingers nimbly tracing the face on the photograph. The edges were a bit rough, but Ian had kept it in fairly good condition. There was a young girl in the picture, maybe eleven or twelve years old. I wasn't very good at judging people's ages. She was laughing and I saw the indentation of two dimples on her face. She was on a tire swing, looking ever so carefree.

Startled slightly by the approaching footsteps, Ian's, I presume, I instinctively hid the photo behind my back. I was like a child who was hiding something they shouldn't have been in in the first place. But like that child, it was only a matter of time before I got caught. Unfortunately for me, my timeframe was short.

He bounded across the room like a deer running from a hunter. "What is that?" His eyes were black, cold, and unforgiving.

"Uh...nothing," I stammered, shifting the picture from hand to hand nervously.

"Charlotte, hand it over."

"What, no kitten?" I joked lamely.

His face remained stony. "No. Charlotte, it's not ours. It's mine. Give it to me otherwise I have no choice but to call the authorities."

"Whoa! You don't need to call the cops on me over a photo."

"Charlotte."

"Okay." I gave him the picture. It wasn't worth going to jail over. "Here."

"Thank you." He took it and put it in his pocket.

"Why is it such a big deal?"

"Why is it that you have the need to go through my belongings?"

"Chill, Ian."

"No, Charlotte, you're rude and inconsiderate."

"I'm the one that's being rude?"

"As of now, yes."

"Who is she?"

"She's...she's no one."

"Must be somebody if you're being overly protective a picture of her.

"Can we just drop it, please?"

"No! Ian, why won't you tell me?"

"Because, Charlotte, we are not really friends," he fired. "Must I remind you that this is all a game?"

"I...all right. I understand. I'll go now."

"Thank you."

"But one last thing, was she a sister or something?"

"Yeah," he mumbled quietly. "Or something."

***

The walks I took with Luke and Tinkerbell began to grow shorter as the temperature dropped to unbearable figures. This one lasted seven minutes until I began to complain. "It's cold."

"You have mittens on."

"That doesn't mean it's still not cold!" I objected.

He nodded towards my hands. "Your mittens are cuter than mine."

"You have black gloves."

"Hence the cuteness of your hand attire!"

I made a face. "Stop making fun of my mittens. I think the tiny hearts are adorable."

"They are! They're like a billion babies' hearts on two mittens!"

"Now I know you're making fun of me."

"I'm not, though!"

I smiled. "Yes you are!"

"Okay, you win. I was making fun of you."

"What? Why would you do that?"

He threw his free hand, the one not holding onto the leash, up in the air. "Social media was right. There is no winning with you women."

"You'll learn eventually. Hopefully."

"If I don't learn on my own, will you teach me?"

"Perhaps."

"Charlie..." he sighed, looking gloomily down at the snowy sidewalk.

"Hm?"

"What can I do to make it right?"

"What?"

"I messed up bigtime. I need to fix it. I can't just sit around and watch you with all of these other guys. I can't just be your friend."

"I...I don't know, Luke. You really hurt me."

"But can't you see that you're hurting me now? That you've been hurting me for four months?"

"It's not my fault, Luke. I forgive you, okay?"

"No, not okay. I don't want just forgiveness. I want you and me together, the Luke and Charlie show, just like how it was supposed to be. Just like how our parents predicted."

"You know about that?"

"Who doesn't?"

"Good point."

"Give me a chance to make it all right again. Please? Let me show you I love you and that all of those other girls mean nothing to me. I'm not after your virginity right now, Charlie. I'm after you. I mean, I'll eventually want your virginity when we get married, but you'll give it to me then. Please, Charlie? I'll do anything and everything."

I shuffled my feet so I was gliding slightly on the thin layer of ice edging the sidewalk. "Why did you sleep with them if they meant nothing to you? Was it an attempt for popularity or something?"

"It was just a side benefit. Ultimately it was because I wanted to impress you."

I scoffed. "You really do have a lot to learn about girls."

"I know, I know. I just wasn't ready for a relationship, especially not with you."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I demanded.

"You were my entire life. You still are. I had visions and dreams of us being together. It was almost like fate, you know? I knew that you were the one I was supposed to marry. The one I was supposed to be with in the end. All of it's intimidating. I kept thinking that I would mess up and I wasn't ready for such a big step in my life yet. I also wanted to get practice for you. I thought if I'd get really good at it, you'd be impressed when it finally happened..."

"I don't know..."

"You're giving those other guys a shot. Why not give me one?"

The feelings I thought had faded were just abandoned. He had nurtured them, rather quickly, I might add, and they were very much still here. "We just have so much history..."

"History's a good thing, Charlie. Just, please? I don't know what else to say other than I love you and I miss you. I love you more than you know. Let me repair the damage," he groveled, his crystal blue eyes pleading and begging me to give in and say 'yes.'

He had made mistakes and so had I, although mine weren't as irrevocable. Once upon a time, I was head-over-heels for him. I knew that if I didn't give him a chance now, a part of me would be nagging me in the future, telling me that I should've given him just one more.

"We'll give it a shot," I said.

Luke grinned and threw his arms around me. "Thank you. Thank you so much. You won't regret it. I promise."

I hope not, I thought.

"Luke! You let go of the leash!" I screeched, running to catch Tinkerbell as she sprinted away.

Luke let out a few expletives before chasing after me and his beloved dog.

Two seconds and an icy fall later, we were both on our butts. "You're an idiot," I said.

"This doesn't ruin things, does it?"

I sighed and couldn't help but smile at him. He was just so adorable and hopeful. I shook my head. "No."

"I'll make you a hot cocoa when we find her?"

"With a ton of whipped cream, please."