Dedicated to my main babe, unoriginalkatia!
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Chapter 21: One Pot of Jumbled Jambalaya, Please
I crossed my arms making it extremely obvious that I was annoyed with Luke. I had to bite my lower lip to keep from blowing up at him and causing a scene to try and calm myself down. After all, I didn't want his parents to become involved too. "Yeah, that."
"I...I can explain."
"Alright, go on. Explain."
"Okay..." He sighed dejectedly. "I can't."
I nodded stiffly, "I see."
I turned to leave, but he grabbed my arm and whipped me around so I was looking at him again. "No, Charlie. I don't think you do. Sleeping with Emma meant nothing to me. I didn't plan on it. This wasn't just a scheme. It's not like I was seducing her. It just...happened."
"The point is that you still slept with her! You were conscious, it's not like you were drugged. And you most definitely weren't raped." I spat out the last word, putting all of my disgust remembering my personal experience with that one five letter word.
"It was an accident," he mumbled out.
"Yeah, because taking your pants off and sticking your thing in her was a total accident. Because taking part in these games was an accident. Everything seems to be an accident with you! You told me you were done with that."
"I am. You have to believe me!"
I added in a softer voice, "Will I just be another accident to add to the list, Luke?"
Luke looked around frantically, trying to find anything to help make me believe him, "Charlie, you could never be a mistake. But if you are considered one, then you'd be the best and most beautiful mistake of my life. I need you and want you. You make the world beautiful..."
"These days, Luke, I don't know what to believe." I turned away from him slightly, unable to look into his pleading eyes.
He cupped my face with his slightly-warmer-than-room-temperature hands, stroking his thumb against my right cheek. "Believe me. Believe that I would never want to intentionally hurt you. Believe that you're the only girl for me."
A sad smile crossed my face. I sniffled. "You don't know how much I want to believe that, Luke. If only things were different."
"What can I do to prove it to you? I'll do anything."
"It's too late for that. You shouldn't have done anything in the first place or at least told me. We could've avoided this."
"I know...and I'm sorry. So very sorry."
There was a suffocating silence surrounding us. He didn't say anything else and neither did I.
"Were you even going to tell me?" I whispered, not daring to make eye contact with him because I knew there would be a big chance I was going to breakdown in front of him.
He scratched the back of his neck nervously, a tight grimace etched across his face. "I was planning to."
I sighed, suddenly tired of all of this. "What's your excuse, Luke?" I asked wearily.
"I guess I never really got around to it."
Anger flared throughout me. "You...you never got around to it?" I sputtered in disbelief. "You've had plenty of chances to tell me."
"I didn't know how to tell you! I just couldn't find the right words."
"That's because there were no right words! Unless you're in love with Emma, you can't really justify what you did."
"I know, but-"
"How about these words: I slept with Emma. Those words would've gotten the deed done."
"I was going to tell you when you got back from California, but I just chickened out when I saw your cute, little face and I knew I couldn't hurt you like that."
I ignored the compliment that he oh-so cleverly snuck in. "Why did you assume that I would be hurt?"
"Because, Charlie, if two of my closest friends hooked up, I know I would be hurt. Besides, I was ashamed. I still am."
"You're ashamed? Why on earth would you be ashamed? Emma's a great person."
"No," he denied quickly. "That's not what I meant. It's just that I didn't want to see that look of disappointment that's on your face right now. I wanted to prevent that."
"You didn't do a good enough job. I mean, look where we are now."
"I'm sorry that I didn't tell you before."
I shrugged. "I know now. I just would've preferred to hear it from you. I thought we don't keep things from each other, Luke."
"I know, but-"
"But you didn't know how to tell me. I get it." My voice was emotionless.
His eyebrows were in a deep crease. "Listen, it meant nothing to me."
I looked into his deep blue eyes. The ocean in them was slowly, but surely, coming out of mine as tears. "But it meant everything to me."
His eyes were contorted slightly, like they always do when he's feeling guilty. "I..."
"I was okay with you being with all of the other girls because, well, I'm not really friends with them. But I don't think I can accept the fact that you took Emma's virginity for the sake of winning your stupid game."
"Would you just forget about the game for a minute and stop pinning all of my actions on that? It's not like I let it rule my life. Taking Emma's virginity wasn't my intention. If I could redo it all, I'd prevent it from ever happening in a heartbeat."
"Well you can't!" I yelled, letting it all out. "And I'm not sure if I can ever forgive you."
"But you'll forgive Emma? It takes two to tango, you know."
I sighed. "Not immediately, but you knew that we were friends. Emma didn't necessarily know that I liked you."
"Loved you," he corrected smartly.
I growled warningly. "You're pushing your luck."
"Sorry," he mumbled.
My reasons for going easier on Emma than Luke weren't completely true. I had a feeling that Emma always knew something was going on with Luke, so the excuse I gave him wasn't really valid.
The truth is I love Luke more than Emma, and I always will. We've been like two peas in a pod ever since we were in kindergarten, so it was only natural to feel more betrayed by him than her. I had also given Luke the ability to hurt me twice as much as Emma ever could; as a friend and a lover.
But deep, deep down, I knew the real reason was because I felt kind of offended and jealous. He went after her and not me. He took her virginity, not mine (not that I would want him to). I had always wanted to be each other's firsts, but that went down the drain years ago when he slept with Lauren. And in some discreet way, I felt like he was choosing them over me.
"No, Luke. I'm sorry."
I honestly don't know why I decided to go talk to Luke. I guess part of me was hoping that Emma was lying and Luke would be there to assure me that it never happened, but unfortunately, he only confirmed it. I didn't understand how I could be so unobservant. Surely there must've been an attitude change that I overlooked. There was no way that those two could act so secretive without me noticing, but somehow they pulled it off. I guess it never registered to me that Emma could be a potential love interest for Luke, so there was no need to worry about it.
I gave him one last glance before I turned around and stalked away. This time, he didn't bother to stop me. Luckily for me, I wasn't intercepted by the Chandlers. I don't know what I would've said if I did run into them. I couldn't say the same thing about my father, though.
I ran into the house with certain haste. He was polishing the wooden railing with an old rag. His eyes grew wide with concern as he put his hand on my shoulder. "What's wrong, Pumpkin?" The worry was evident in his voice.
I opened my mouth to respond, but decided against it and clamped it shut. I pushed my way past him and ran upstairs to my room. I slammed the door shut and flopped down on the bed, burying my face with the first thing my head came in contact with, which just so happened to be a stuffed elephant that Luke had given me. What an unlucky coincidence. I recognized the fuzz-covered tusk poking my ear. I pushed it off the bed forcefully and replaced it with a regular pillow. I think it was my red and white polka dotted one.
A few sobs later, I heard a gentle rap on the door. "Charlotte? Can I come in?" It wasn't so much as a question, but a warning that he was coming in whether I liked it or not.
"No."
"Too bad, I'm coming in anyway."
Yup, called it.
I heard the door slide across the top of the carpet and felt the other side of my queen-sized bed dip down. I shoved my face deeper into the pillow, feeling even more humiliated. I felt the fabric of the pillow dampen, but I could care less. There was no doubt in my mind that Dad was going to ask what happened and I would have to tell him. Even if I refused to tell him he would get it out of me. It would just be easier to tell him when he asks. It would take less energy, and I needed the little energy that was remaining.
"What's wrong, Pumpkin?" he asked, stroking my hair like he did when I was younger. "Is it Lucas?" I snorted, but then nodded my head. I heard him sigh. "What did he do now?"
"He slept with Emma," I said, but it sounded muffled due to the pillow smothering my mouth.
"What was that?"
I said it again, but it wasn't much better than my previous attempt. It was probably actually worse. I didn't like to repeat myself, and when I did, I'd get even more frustrated than before.
"Honey, I can't understand anything you're saying. Keep your chin up-literally."
I smiled at the weak attempt of this joke, but then it quickly returned to a mopey expression. I lifted my head up, sniffling, and rubbed a stray tear away. "He slept with Emma," I moaned, pulling the throw blanket that was previously tangled at the foot of my bed over my body.
Dad rubbed his forehead and let out a shaky, heavy breath, soaking in all the new information. Unlike Luke's parents, who were fully aware, but not approving of Luke's player ways, Dad was completely oblivious to it.
"Are you sure?"
I sent him a pointed look. "Yes, Dad. I'm positive! They both admitted to it."
"But I thought he liked you."
"Well...then you thought wrong."
Dad may be oblivious, but he wasn't as inattentive as I was. "I always knew you two would end up together."
"Aren't you forgetting something? My two best friends slept together. And not just catching z's."
I'm not going to lie; it was awkward talking about this with my dad. You don't talk about your friends' sex lives with your parents. It's some kind of unspoken rule that everyone follows, or rather,should. At least it wasn't my sex life...my non-existent sex life.
"Have you talked to him about it yet?"
"Just came from his house."
"And you two haven't made up?"
I groaned. Why was he so slow right now? "Obviously not, Dad."
"So maybe you should."
"I just found out about this today. The wound is still fresh. I can't exactly forgive him in an instant, now can I?"
"Why not?"
"What do you mean, 'why not?'?"
"Why can't you forgive him? It's not healthy to hold grudges, Charlotte."
"He slept with my best friend, Dad."
"Maybe he was just curious about the female body."
"Are you defending him? You're supposed to be on my side."
"I am on your side. I'll always be on your side, but you just have to see things from Luke's perspective."
"He's not curious about the female body, Dad. He's seen enough of the female body to last him a lifetime," I gritted.
Dad looked alarmed. "Have you and him...you know...has he seen you..."
I was mortified. This conversation was getting even more awkward. I didn't even know how it could get more awkward than this. "No!" Wait, that was too quick to be believable. "No, Dad."
He let his shoulders sag in relief. "Thank goodness. I thought I was going to have to shoot him for a second."
"You're not going to shoot him for sleeping with Emma?"
"But wouldn't I have to shoot Emma, as well?"
"No."
"So tell me, if it wasn't you that he was getting all these sneak peeks from, who was it?"
I laughed humorlessly. "They weren't just previews dad. They were the entire movie."
"And that raises more questions..."
"About a fourth of the girl population at my school."
His eyes bulged so much that I thought they were going to pop out of their sockets. "He's not a virgin!?"
"That title's been long gone for years now."
He rubbed his face. "And yours?"
"Mine's still intact."
He beamed and patted my back. "Good girl."
"The only one," I muttered.
"What was that?"
"Nothing."
"So is he the only guy that takes the innocence of girls?"
I shook my head. "One of five."
He raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"
Now I would have to tell him about the games and the glory of becoming the Virginator. I'm sure he would rip up the autographed picture that Alec gave him. I dove into the story when it all started, three years ago-freshman year.
Dad let out a long whistle once I completed my story. I left out the part about me being the tiebreaker and being pursued. There were some things that I just wasn't willing to tell him, this being one of them. I would never be allowed around another guy again.
"Well...I'm proud of you for not giving into peer pressure and all that."
"Thanks, Dad," I mumbled.
"Now, I'm off to kill Luke. Visit me twice a day and sneak in a nail file every once in awhile, okay?" He said it so calm, so casually, that it scared me.
"You're really not going to kill him."
"Nope, but he might commit suicide by the time I'm done talking to him. And Laurie and Robert know about this?"
"Mr. and Mrs. Chandler don't approve, but they don't prevent him from doing it. Something about learning for himself and all that."
"I hope he uses condoms."
Me too. "Mhm."
"I wouldn't want him to die of an STD."
You could die from those? "Right."
Now I was just responding brainlessly to Dad's mutterings to himself. After a minute or so, Dad heaved himself up, kissed the side of my head, and left without another word. I didn't know what he was going to say, but I did know that Luke had better hope that Dad didn't unleash his wrath. Angry Dad was rare, but he was deadly.
"Good luck, Luke," I murmured. "You're going to need it."