I came out of the bathroom, my hair wrapped in one of my favorite towels. 

Namjoon looked at me then looked away, his cheeks growing pink. 

I went to my bed and snuggled under the covers, tired. 

"Harley, do you mind if I turn out the light? I'm exhausted." He told me.

"Go ahead, I'm experiencing jet lag as well."

 He laughed and turned out the lights. Once I heard everyone go to bed I felt my heart catch into my throat. I allowed a few sobs to escape before I forced my eyes to shut. I needed sleep. 

-Dream-

Namjoon looked at me.

"I hate you. Everyone does." He spat, his eyes red. I covered my ears. 

He suddenly shifted into my mom. I was five again, smiling up at her.

She lifted me up and hugged me. I shifted into 17 year old me again and she grew disgusted. She shoved me away.

"You took my baby away you ass!! Fuck you!! I never wanted you and I regret not aborting you!!" Her words spun in my head. She became Ivey.

"Ivey!!" I cried, wrapping my arms around her. She shoved me away, vile growing in her eyes.

"I never liked you." She hissed. 

She shifted into the man who tried to rape and kill me.

Gabe. 

He got his chance to rape me this time. I was sobbing. He changed into a demon shaped thing that stalked closer to me. 

"Die Bitch!" It hissed, jumping to me.

It shifted into my uncle. He grabbed the belt and whipped it across my back. I felt the blood pouring.

"Stupid whore! Die!" He screamed.

He shifted into Jacob.

"You left me Har Har!! You said you'd protect me always!! You lied to me!!" He screamed, standing on a table.

"I tried!" I reached my arms out, trying to hug him. 

"No! I was just a kid!! I had so much I wanted to do!! Har har, I wanted to go to outer space!! I wanted to tell that girl at school that she was pretty!! I wanted you to say a few words at my wedding! I wanted to live!!" He cried. 

"I wanted that too!" I told him.

"I wanted to hug the girl who cried a lot because her mommy was sick and tell her I'd be her friend!! I wanted to make daddy a sculpture!! I wanted to be a big kid and play video games with Mikey!!" He threw his words at me.

"Please! It's not my fault!!" 

Blood streamed down his face instead of tears.

"He burnt me, Har Har, with fire, he hit me with a knife. He kicked me and hit me and cut me and punched me and slapped me and touched me in weird places and he was MEAN!! He said you let him take me!!" 

"No! That's not true!! I fought so hard!!" I screamed.

"I want to live!! I WANT TO HAVE A LIFE!!" He screamed. The man in black was creeping up behind him, so close. I couldn't say anything.

"Harley, I wanted to be a kid and I want to live! I wont EVER get to go to prom, or have a first kiss, or get married, or have kids, ill never get to grow old with you!! You don't get to see my grow up!! You'll never know if I'd turn out to be a brown haired man or stack black haired!! You'll never laugh and feel proud of me when I win the basketball game!! Harley, I wanted to make you proud. But you never were proud of me. It hurts. My heart hurts!! MAKE THE PAIN GO AWAY!! Please!!" He screamed. 

The man reached out, slicing my baby brothers head off in one quick movement. 

I screamed. 

-end- 

"Harley!! Harley!!" Namjoon shook my shoulders as I sat up, sobbing violently. I'd never get to see my baby brother grow up. 

"Why are you crying? It was just a dream. Come here, you can lay with me until you feel better." Namjoon whispered, lifting me up. I clung to him like he was my lifeline. He lay me down on his bed and covered me in blankets. He hopped into the bed and snuggled against me. I hid my face in his shirt as I sobbed. He lay still and stroked my hair. His shirt was thoroughly soaked in my tears not much later yet he still held me.

"I-I-it w-wasn't just a d-d-d-dream!!" I wailed. 

He held me closer, comforting me. 

"Shh.... it's ok.... I'm here. You can cry until you feel better." He softly told me. 

But he didn't understand. I would never feel better.

"B-b-but ill n-n-never feel b-b-better!!" I tried to wipe my eyes but just succeeded in blurring my vision even more.

"That's ok. Cry forever. Ill be here." He assured me. 

My sobs eventually slowed and my breathing soothed itself. I fell half asleep after a while. 

"I'm sorry." I whispered.

"Its ok. The best of people have the worst of history." He told me.

"My baby brother was kidnapped and murdered. I was there when he was kidnapped. I should have saved him."  I opened my heart up.

"You did your best, I'm sure." He hugged me tighter. 

"I tired. I really did! But in my dream he told me all the things he had wanted to do when he got older. And I never will get to see Jake grow up!" I started to sob again. Namjoon coiled his arms around my waist and pressed his face into my hair. I wrapped dum arms around his strong torso and held him. 

We fell asleep like that.

Together.