When my mother braids my hair that morning, she is careful and kind. Every strand is put into place, and every lock is twisted as it should be.

Plain and simple, to match the black shoes I wear and the gray dress that falls to my knees.

I get off the stool and stand, and I spin to face her. She smiles, and pinches my cheeks with glee.

"You look wonderful."

I hate the way I look, but I smile all the same.

My mother and I share similar appearances. Pale skin, thin frames, brown hair, blue eyes, brown feline ears and tails to match.

Her features are worn with age, though. Her hands have grown frail and her eyes now have crows feet but she looks lovelier than I could ever hope to be. She carries herself with grace and poise, and even being Abnegation manages to shine like the flowers I see in my school textbooks.

"Are you ready, Nekomai?"

We both look at the top of the stairs to my father, commanding power and authority wherever he goes. He's hard and stern sometimes, but he's always meant well, even when we've had our disagreements.

"Yes, Father." I nod, and he descends the steps hard, as he usually does.

He places his hands on my shoulders, and we both share a look into each other's eyes. I can see the tears forming in the corners of his, and I hope the fear in mine isn't being given away.

"No matter what you choose today," He begins. "You will always be our little girl."

"That's right." My mom chimes in, and she hugs me, but my father continues to hold me at arm's length, his eyes cloudy and unsure.

I know what he's afraid of, but it is not the same thing I'm afraid of.

In his mind, he's envisioning my older Erudite brother. The guilt he felt when his only son left for the cruelest faction, and how much harder he tried to be a good father for me.

In my head, I can only envision the panic in the woman's face yesterday, writing me a sick note and sending me home early.

"Now, go along." My father commands, clearing his throat. "We'll be supporting you from the crowd."

I nod, and leave, walking out the door and down the sidewalk, past all the identical box houses. I hear a bird somewhere in the distance, and I smile to myself.

It's a 20 minute walk there, but I am somehow just fine with not a drop of sweat on me. I face the hub with fear though. This is where my future becomes my present. I look down and rub my palm. I've never cut there before, but in my head I'm hoping the pain won't be all that great.

"Nervous?" My best friend Ranit asks me. His dark purple hair is close-cropped, and his eyes shine with hope.

"Absolutely." I smile back, and he takes my hand, and I feel less nervous.

He let's go as we follow the grey crowd indoors, and I distantly imagine what would happen if we made the same choice today. I can see us marrying and growing old in one of those plain cube houses. A daughter and a son, and a future wearing grey together.

I'm distracted by the wave of blue I see when we walk in. The Erudite, known for their thirst of knowledge and vicious attitude towards my people.

And yet among them I see a familiar face. Black hair, Grey eyes, two ears alert and twitching.

I almost start to run for him, but Ranit pulls on my arm and my face flushes as I am pulled back to my place.

My brother has noticed me as well, having stood up and now sheepishly sitting back down as the members of his faction glare at him.

"Keep it together." Ranit whispers, and I know he is right, I know he is right but I hate that he is.

Lucky me though, I can still see him from my seat. I discreetly wave, and his tail twitches to show he's seen me.

I sigh with relief, before I remember where I am. The choosing ceremony begins, and I watch as Garte Ro'Meave, Faction leader of Erudite, begin his speech.

I was too nervous to focus. I heard him read the faction manifestos, detail how important the choosing was, the journey the initiates were going to take, and a detail of the importance of every faction.

Every Faction.

I look at the factions one by one.

I could choose Erudite, and scour for information above all else. Erebus would protect me there.

I could go to Candor. Seeking the brutal truth in bleak pantsuits.

Perhaps Amity.

——-
I stand with my younger brother in front of the Hub, and we share a glance.

"Good luck, Amity." I offer, though he knows I don't particularly mean it.

"Same to you, Abnegation." He tells me.

I look back at the Hub, and my gaze is stone.

Did I want Abnegation? No. Did my father give it to me, probably because it's a useless faction that he doesn't need strings pulled in? Most likely.

Oh to be like Vylad next to me, who will live out the next few weeks of his life in peace and happiness outside the gate, picking fruit and avoiding the peace serum, maybe striking up a match with some amity girl to keep his cover.

I scowl bitterly at the thought of my father's earlier lecture.

I don't care what you got in that test, you choose the faction I demand of you to!

Whatever, you bitter old-

My thoughts are cut off by the squeal of the train, and I turn my head to see the Dauntless all leap from it, whooping and hollering with glee.

I think of my older brother, and a ghost of a smile passes my face. The opposite is said for Vylad, who smiles wildly at their dark clothes and colorful hair and screams of rebellion.

The two of us venture inside, where I see the five metal bowls, in which I know sits Glass, Water, Soil, Burning Coals, and Grey Stones.

I look towards the Representatives of the factions, and am faced with my Father, Adoptive Mother, And oldest brother. My mother waves encouragement, but my father and brother keep their ocean blue gazes fixed. My father nods, as if to tell me you know what to do.

I walk to where I should sit in Candor, and spot my oldest sister up ahead. I longingly stare at the blue waves of Erudites that come in, wishing that I had been allowed to choose them. Oh, to just research all day and soak up all the knowledge my heart desired.

Then the rest of candor comes in, followed by the screaming of Dauntless, and I spot my brother, finally a representative. He turns his head, and I wave. He offers a nod of acknowledgment as The Amity come in, before the wave of bleak boringness that is soon to be my new faction enters.

From where I sit, they all look the same. Boring, bland, and dull. Though I can't say much with my black and white clothing, they look like the worlds most depressed flash mob.

I watch as a girl almost starts running for Erudite, before she's yanked back by one of her peers. Similarly, a tall boy I can barely make out from Erudite leaps up, before sheepishly sitting down again.

I roll my eyes as my father stands, being the host of the ceremony, and walks to the podium before he begins a long winded speech about our futures and our factions and how our choices affect us and those around us. We each get a new knife, cut our palm, offer our blood to our new faction, and we'll go from Z-A last names backwards.

I stare down at my left palm, envisioning the scar that will surely come from cutting it.

——-
I stare at the dark-haired Erudite who's been guiding me down these halls and earning my trust for the past week.

"Say that name again."

".....Nekomai?"

His eyes go wide and though I thought it impossible, he turns a few shades paler.

"Is she alright?! Please, you have to tell me, that's my little sister!! Please, at least tell me she's alright!"

He was gripping my shoulders with such intensity, I took his word for it.

"She's very much alive, hidden very well in Amity." I whisper.

Almost immediately, his knees grown weak and he begins to sob on my shoulder.

"Oh thank god..... thank god.... thank you..."

He straightens and looks at me with hopeful tear-filled eyes.

"Thank you." He repeats, and I remember where I've seen him before.

The choosing ceremony.

".... You're Erebus."

Erebus looks at me with hope and tears in his eyes, and he grins wildly.

"Yes, yes that's me! I'm Erebus! Has my sister spoken of me??"

"You sister speaks of you as though you were a god."

Erebus does not stop smiling, and part of me wants to smack him for it. The other part, however, wishes to freeze him in time just like this. Such a smile is a gift to treasure.