ENGFA

"You should have told me you are coming." Closing the door to my office. I had to leave the studio, the atmosphere wasn't allowing for comfortability.

"I wanted to surprise you." Oh trust me I am still surprised. She moved over to join me. And I can't look at her eyes right now. I feel bad to be doing this to her, no I can't do this to her. What's wrong, you look shook."

"Please have a seat, we need to talk." I'll just rip this like a band aid.

Her brown eyes stare at me with longing. She sits on my lap, caressing my cheek. "I know what you want to say." I doubt that but okay. "We've been distance lately and I know I have been working a lot but P'fa I want you to know that I love you and that's why I am here."

"Pitchy that's not..."

She cuts me off, "I'm here to make it work, I have some work in Bangkok so will use my time here to bond." I feel like I should just tell her. "With that said I'll go home and prepare dinner for us." As if remembering something she turns to face me with her hand on the door knob. "Didn't know you and Charlotte are on speaking terms."

"We are working on the same project."

She looks at me for a good second, enough to make my skin crawl. Maybe I am seeing things but it's like she knows something. Accepting my response, she steps out of the room with a smile.

That was exhausting, no I need to get out of this mess. Does she think she can just turn around with a smile and I'll jump at the first sing. Nope, I am not doing this again. i start laughing at the ridiculous decision I was about to make. Can't believe I almost became single, if I have to be it won't be because of Charlotte, nah, it would be because I want to.

Let me get back to work.

Three days go by and I still can't get that kiss out of my head. If P'Sun hadn't walked in at that moment, I would have had her... "P'fa you have Charlotte on the line." P'Van says.

Don't wonder why she's calling the office; I haven't been answering her calls. I need to put some needed distance between us. Everything is going well, made sure to only be at the film location when she leaves because if I happen to be there before she shows up, the possibility of running into each other is high.

"Tell her I am busy." Avoiding the look, I know I am getting from P'Sun in the corner. He starts fake coughing just to get my attention. "Matter of fact that's the response you give her each time she asks for me."

"It was just yesterday when you were friends."

"Three days."

"Well what happened."

"Nothing happened..." my phone is buzzing with an incoming text.

MISS AUSTIN: What happened?

I feel bad but the message must be sent. I won't be cornered into giving in. I will read them later. Alone.

MISS AUSTIIN: I thought we were passed this, because I know you are not busy.

MISS AUSTIN: Fine, whatever.

I just can't risk it. This is just another rollercoaster and I won't get on it unless I know that it is safe and the ride would be different this time. If she changes her mind again I don't think I will survive that.

Going about my day, I get off work early because Pichy wants to come over, maybe we can go to a jazz restaurant, I need to do something that can take my mind off her.

Once my meeting is over, we need to take more pictures of Charlotte for the magazine. Not happy about it but they are right we do need more.

P'Sun brings the food, making my stomach rumble. It's like he read my mind "Hope there are mangoes in there."

"I got you some, cut them and ready to be eaten." Hands me the bowl and I feel like bouncing like a kid.

"Thought you could use some joy today." Brushing my shoulder. "Unfortunately only your stomach." Look at him, we were just having a good conversation. I continue to my office with him at my side, when we get close, P'Van comes over looking white. "Are you hungry as well. it's okay P'Sun brought enough.

"Ugh I tried but she insisted on waiting."

Stopping in my tracks. "Why didn't you text me."

"I did but I'm sure you haven't seen it since I didn't get a reply."

There is still time I can just go home and call it a day. Just as I turn around. "Glad to see you are well." her voice strikes through my legs, what is wrong with me today? Slowly turning around, she scoffs and goes back inside the office, I could still go back home but then she might show up so the best thing is to tell her to leave me alone.

When the door is closed and its only us, I can't bring myself to say anything so I just walk to the window. Wishing I was a bird.

Charlotte doesn't come any closer which I'm thankful for. I would be able to think with her hands off me.

"You ignored my calls."

"I did."

"May I know why."

"I don't want to do this," she nods. "Pichy is my girlfriend and I must do right by her."

Her eyes are scaring me; Charlotte looks like she will jump me any moment from now. "P'fa I understand." Thank you, that wasn't hard. "But I won't stay away from you, now I think we have discovered a way to get me coming over just don't answer your phone maybe when I show up at your house Pichy can get the clue." I want to smile because that's a good one. But I have to stand my ground and be strong. So I look away, wrong move on my part, I feel her fingers on my chin, tilting me to face her. "Keep your pretty eyes on me."

"Nuu..." I catch myself. She's enjoying this huh. "I don't trust you, I don't want to get hurt again."

Her breath tinkles my neck. "Then give me a chance to earn your trust." Giving me her puppy eyes.