FROM A YOUNG AGE, COURTNEY HAD BEEN INTERESTED IN SCIENCE. The moment that she could read properly, she would be snoozing around in her mother's medical books. Not that she hadn't done so before; it had looked so majestic to her. The books were so big. She didn't mind there not being a lot of pictures in it like she was used to. Her mouth fell open every time she turned a page. Courtney couldn't be more excited to start school and learn all about those things in her mother's books. That excitement never faded. On the contrary, it grew over the years.

That was one thing that had made Ellis Grey proud of her daughter.

Once Courtney had entered high school, she took on all the AP science classes that her school offered her. Chemistry, biology and physics were sometimes the only reason she liked going to school. She couldn't get enough. Taking on extra projects or even becoming a teacher's assistant was something that she would even gladly do. Somehow she managed all the workload on top of her after school activities.

In her senior year, she participated in the science fair for the very last time. She wanted to go out with a bang. She wanted to leave a lasting impression on her science teachers. She wanted to be remembered. She wanted to win and earn that number 1 spot. Maybe, a small part in her body had also wanted some validation from her mother. Winning this (for then a fourth time in a row) could make Ellis Grey proud of her possibly?

That was the exact same feeling she was feeling now. The only thing that had changed was that she no longer wanted validation from her mother, but from herself, from her superiors. She wanted to show how much she was worth. She wanted everyone to see that she could accomplish things. She didn't want to be remembered as just Meredith's Grey little sister or Ellis Grey's daughter.

She wanted to be Courtney Grey.

Courtney was sitting at a round table in the resident's lounge. Her hands were busy peeling a small tangerine. It eased her nerves. She could shut her brain off and not think about too much. Juice spat on her fingers. She took a deep breath. Everything was going to be fine. It was rather quiet in the room. Just like her, everyone was trying to keep themselves busy.

That day the resident for the first solo surgery was going to be chosen. The attendings were currently gathering in a conference room to discuss who would get the honor. Everyone in that room wanted to be picked; there was no denying that. Suddenly the door swung open, revealing an out-of-breath Ryan Spalding. "He said Karev."

"Yes!"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"You're sure sure?" Ryan Spalding quickly left the resident's lounge again. Looked like he wasn't sure at all. That happened again and again. Every couple of minutes, an intern would come barging in. Stevens. Grey. The name of almost every resident was called out. The door opening no longer brought the group of residents joy or excitement. They resented it opening.

"What? This is bogus!" Alex Karev yelled out, once the name had been changed one more freaking time.

"You're just figuring that out? Steve is not a lip reader. None of the interns are lip readers. You have to wait for the attendings to vote, just like we did when I won," Bailey said, while making some coffee. Cristina had been quite surprised to hear that. "I'm gonna pretend you didn't feel the need to ask me that, Yang. Of course I won. I was good. I didn't cut LVAD wires or put my hand in bomb-y body cavities or have my interns operating on themselves. I was special. I was young, gifted and black, and everybody knew it. The attendings knew it, the chief knew it. I didn't have to act like I could read lips. Just go about my work calmly, waiting for my name to get called."

Not that much later, Lexie Grey came running in with news. Apparently the meeting was over. The fate of all the residents had been decided. "The chief sent me. They made their choice."

"Who is it?"

Lexie took a moment to catch her breath. "It's you." She lifted her finger and pointed at someone. Everyone turned their heads to find that Cristina Yang had been chosen to do the solo surgery. The room became dead quiet. In complete silence, everybody got up, pushing their chairs under the table. The one that had been out of the running from the beginning had been chosen.

Courtney didn't know what had come over the attendings or the Chief even. She couldn't help but wonder why Cristina Yang had been chosen. Why Cristina of all people? The entire resident's lounge was free and was allowed to do a solo surgery. Why didn't they pick someone who was available? Were they all that bad that the only viable option was to choose the one that was banned?

Had Courtney left such a bad impression?

Was she untrustworthy?

Did she simply lack the skills?

Why?

Together with the others, Courtney stood at the nurses' station, waiting for the Chief to go out of the conference room. Her fingers were playing with the watch on her wrist. The cold against the top of her fingers showed her that this wasn't a nasty dream. She was wide awake. That day was not going the way she had thought. A small, hopeful part of her had thought that she would have gotten the solo surgery, since Cristina had been out of the running.

The Chief walked out of the conference room. Cristina stood behind him with a solemn expression on her face "I am happy to announce that the first solo surgery will take place tonight. A below-the-knee amputation, bone cancer... Choosing who gets first solo surgery isn't just about who has the best surgical skills or who's logged the most hours in the OR. It's about the highest form of trust. The trust to put a patient's life into one of our resident's hands,"

"It was almost a fifty-fifty tie, but Dr Yang won by a small margin. However, Dr Yang is out of the running. To give everyone a fair shot one last time, she is going to pick the winner instead. Dr Yang will post her decision on the OR board at 4.00pm. Also, since your interns are still banned from the OR, the winner will pick a fellow resident to scrub in with them. Good luck."

With a silent nod, everybody aside from Cristina turned around and went back to their daily duties. Courtney looked behind her one last time. Richard Webber was talking to Cristina. She looked sad; her eyes looked like she was in pain. The Chief wouldn't right? Right? The fact that Cristina had won by such a small margin. Why hadn't they just picked the other person, since Cristina was out?

What was going on inside the Chief's head?

☤☤☤

COURTNEY AND HER INTERNS HAD JUST FINISHED ROUNDS. Peter, Rebekah, Samuel and Emily stood so close together like penguins huddling for warmth. They shared a look, before waddling closer to their resident. Ever since the intern incident from two weeks ago, the Courtney they used to know was gone. She no longer smiled at them when they did something well. They could no longer talk to her about things outside of work. They could ask questions, help, but the moment that something wasn't related to the case she shot them down.

Courtney looked at them. The way she looked at them was also no longer the same. Before, there was warmth in her eyes. It was reassuring. Now, there was nothing there. Her eyes told them nothing. "Hanson, you're still with Mr. Moreno. Make sure to monitor his vital signs closely. And if he asks again, no he can't leave the hospital yet. He had brain surgery, so it takes time to recover. Allen, Dr. Atwood asked for you, so you'll be on his service today. Park, you can find something to do in the pit. And lastly, Young, you will be on Ms. Blair's case."

"If they ask us to scrub in, can we?" Rebekah mustered up the courage to ask.

Courtney looked up at the ceiling, "No. And they won't."

Peter backed up Rebekah, "But Dr. Grey, we learned our lesson! We haven't seen the inside of an O.R in two weeks. We won't do it again, promise! Can't you please just let us in the operating room?"

"No is no. You wanted to be treated the same, so I am treating you the same. Your fellow interns haven't set foot in an operating room either. Complain to them about it, not to me because I simply don't care," Courtney bit on her tongue. "Now, go do what I told you to do. You have enough work cut out for you."

She walked away, without even looking back. The four interns let out a collective deep sigh. Emily was rubbing her arms, "Do you think that she'll ever go back to how she used to be? She scares me more now than we first started out."

Samuel looked at their resident in the distance. She was talking with Mark Sloan about something. Their mentor looked much more herself and at ease than she did before with them. "We're back at square 1. It's going to be ten times harder to get her to be nice to us again. We really screwed up, huh."

"Yeah, no kidding. If I had known it would all turn out this bad, I would have never set foot in that room." Rebekah went with her hands through her hair, wanting to pull it all out. If only they could go back in time and fix their mistakes.

Peter squinted his eyes at them. His arms were crossed over each other, "I told you that we should've gone to Dr. Grey! But you all didn't want to betray the others. And look at us now. We're the accomplices. We were the ones driving the getaway car. We're just as bad as them in everyone's eyes."

Rebekah scoffed, "The only reason you wanted to tell Dr. Grey is because Lexie was involved. Would you have been so adamant if she hadn't been the ringleader? You're making your feelings awfully clear, Peter. Does she even like you back? Or know that you like her? If you don't do anything, she might slip through your fingers."

"I told you this before: I don't like Lexie like that! We went to Harvard together and I don't know? I just wanted to make sure that my former classmate wasn't going to end up in jail? This doesn't have anything to do with what I feel or don't feel for Lexie."

"That might be true, but Lexie wasn't the only one involved though. Almost everyone we know played a part in it. We just noticed that you were only really fighting for her. We just think that —" Emily joined Rebekah as she looked at Peter with a sympathetic smile.

"Would you have fought that hard for us?"

Peter let out a sigh. He took the pager out of his pocket, hoping that it would start pinging. It didn't by the way. He looked at his friends, "You guys are so annoying." With that he stormed away with his hands in his pant pockets.

"You could've said it in a more gentle way, Bekah."

"I don't think that'll help."

Sam stared out into the distance, "He won't listen though, Emily. Staying friendly won't help him realize how much he cares. I think that I speak for all of us when I say that it's time for him to admit it. I for one have heard enough about Lexie Grey. What he's doing is only hurting him."

☤☤☤

COURTNEY FOUND CRISTINA IN A BATHROOM. She had never really thought she would do something like this, but she didn't have any other choice. The solo surgery going to her was so close, but yet so far away at the same time. Courtney leaned against the ceramic wall, looking at Cristina. The woman in question was washing her hands and let out a deep sigh. She knew what was coming, since she had gone through it all day. "Your turn now, huh. Let's get this over with." Cristina said.

"Who do you think got the other fifty percent of the votes? This might be my superiority complex talking, but, really, Cristina, who do you think that was? Alex? Meredith?" Cristina scoffed. Ever since the big blow-up two weeks ago, Courtney took every chance she had to bring it up. She was no longer as hurt and betrayed as in that moment, but that didn't mean that she had forgotten about it.

"What's your point?"

"What I'm trying to say is: the Chief is clearly emotionally torturing you. He could have easily decided to pick the other person, but he didn't. It doesn't matter if it was actually me or not, he could have done that. It's unfair to you and honestly? A bit petty. Pulling you out of the running for solo surgery is already bad by itself, but having to pick one of your friends to take your spot? That's wrong on a different level."

Cristina crossed her arms over her chest, "And what are you going to do about it? Are you going to protect me and go complain to the Chief about how unfair it was. I can look after myself, Courtney."

"I know that. But I just want you to know that you're not alone. I know that you and Mer are fighting right now, but that doesn't mean that you don't have anyone. As much as you annoy me sometimes, I still consider you my friend." Courtney smiled.

Cristina rolled her eyes, "This was your idea to get me to choose you for solo surgery? Telling me that we are friends?"

Courtney waved her hand in the air, "Oh, no, no, that was for you, just for you. Didn't have anything to do with the solo surgery — except for the Chief part. As for the surgery, below the knee amputation, right? You do an incision at mid mid-shaft of the tibia, elevate the periosteum and cut the tibia with a saw. You ligate the bundles and release tourniquet. Voila. I've done 5. One on a cadaver, two on Stan, assisted on two with Dr. Chen."

"Did you coordinate this with Karev?"

Courtney let out a chuckle, "We said the same thing? Guess we're best friends for something. Then it's up to you. Who would you trust with your life? Karev or me? Who do you think is more trustworthy?" With that being said, Courtney left the bathroom with the door softly being shut behind her.

With a proud smile on her face, the blonde walked farther and farther away. Eventually she found herself near a nurses' station. Callie Torres grabbed herself a chart. Courtney wanted to go talk to her, when Sadie Harris appeared next to Callie. Squinting her eyes and her arms crossed, Courtney remained at a distance.

What was Sadie planning now?

The two of them were simply talking. There didn't seem to be anything wrong. However, Callie ended up leaving, very flustered. Courtney's white sneakers clashed against the ground. Her hand slammed against the desk as she let her chin lean on her hand. Daggers were being thrown out of her eyes. "What are you doing?"

Sadie didn't even look at her, "I'm not doing anything. What are you even talking about?"

"I saw you talking to Callie just now. What did you say to her?" Courtney didn't trust Sadie Harris at all — even less around her close friends. If Sadie would be helping the eldery, Courtney would without a doubt think that there's an ulterior motive. That was simply how she knew Sadie. There had always been something more when Sadie was around. Maybe that conversation had been about nothing, but she couldn't help but feel a bit protective.

"Don't become paranoid, Nini. It's not a good look on you."

Courtney clenched her fist, "Well, I wouldn't be paranoid if you weren't involved."

Sadie patted her on her shoulder, "You're so dramatic sometimes."

"Yeah, well, whatever," Courtney scoffed. "Just back off, alright? Leave Callie alone."

☤☤☤

THE TIME HAD COME. Cristina had made her decision on who was going to get the honor to do the first solo surgery. Everyone including the Chief was gathered in front of the O.R. board. It was rather crowded there, unlike on other days. Everyone and their mother were standing there, eyes piercing a hole through the board. Even people who weren't involved had come to see who was going to be picked. The first solo surgery was — and will always be — a big event at Seattle Grace. You couldn't help but be excited. It said a lot about a person and their career as a doctor.

Courtney Grey was standing next to her best friend. She was biting on the inside of her lip. She was nervous — incredibly nervous at that. A part of her wanted to be optimistic and hoped that her name would get written on that board. However, then there was that part of her that had a feeling that she wouldn't be picked. It was a constant battle between optimism and pessimism. She let out a deep sigh as her eyes found Cristina.

Cristina was standing with her back towards everyone. She tried to block everyone out. The pressure was weighing down on her. It was already hard enough to pick one of her colleagues, but now she had to show her decision to everyone. She wanted out. She didn't want to do this anymore. Alex and Courtney had been right: she really did get screwed by politics.

With a deep sigh, she held up the marker. Her hand was shaking a little bit. In big black letters the last name was revealed. GREY. An array of disappointed sounds filled the air. Alex, who was standing next to Courtney, muttered out what a surprise. Izzie on the other hand looked like she was proud of herself for guessing the correct name. George had a mixture of both happiness and sadness on his face. Then there was Meredith's smile that could lit up an entire room.

Courtney bit on her lip, hoping that maybe — just maybe —a "C" would appear behind that name. At the end of the day, there was more than one Grey in Seattle Grace hospital. That was the optimistic part of her speaking. She let out a sigh. Had she really just lost to her older sister? Maybe she was back in high school after all. Oh, how proud Ellis she would be. That woman loved comparing her daughters more than anything. Definitely when they were younger.

Because of that exact reason, they used to hate each other when they were younger. They got on each other's nerves so badly. When Ellis would be at work and they argued, it would turn into real fist fights. Over the years it got better. Instead of Ellis tearing them apart, the two sisters became one united front.

Cristina wrote the next letter, which would be the deciding factor. C. Grey, C. It took Courtney a couple of seconds to realize what that meant. A hand flew in front of the blonde's mouth. She was blown away. The smile on her face grew wider and wider. She had been picked for the first solo surgery. She, Courtney Grey, was going to get to amputate a leg by herself, without any help from an attending!

Courtney turned to the side to face Alex Karev. "What do you say, Alex?" She held up her hand in the air, slighting waving it. With force, he slapped against it with a smirk on his face. Even though he had wished that he would be the chosen one, he was still glad that he could be down there in that O.R at least.

With both the resident and the (semi) intern chosen, the crowd dispersed. Alex Karev's name was written on the board, right under Courtney's. The people in question went their separate ways to find the one they wanted to share their happiness with. Her white sneakers squaked against the floors as she made her way through the hallways. She hadn't seen Mark at the announcement, so she assumed he was still with his patient.

He couldn't be in surgery, because he didn't have any scheduled anymore. Her heart was beating faster. She tried to hide her smile, but that seemed to be quite a task. She had really done it. She was the resident of her class that was writing history at that moment. Her head peeked through the windows.

He wasn't there.

The corners of her mouth went downwards. In a hurry, she walked through the hallways. Her brain was thinking of all the possible places where he could be. Could he have left the hospital already? He wouldn't, right? He knew what was taking place that day. She had been talking his ears off the night before. Mark had promised her then that he would be there to see her kick ass. She rushed in the resident's locker room to grab her phone out of her bag.

Her finger pressed down on the number 2. Boyfriend popped up on the screen, before she held it to her ear. She let out a deep sigh as it went to voicemail. She grinded her teeth together as she left the locker room again. Maybe she should give it a try in the attending locker rooms? Determined, she made her way to the room, whilst trying his cellphone once again.

And again.

"I'm not here at the moment. If you want to leave me a message, go ahead."

And again.

"I'm not here at the moment. If you want to leave me a message, go ahead."

Nothing.

☤☤☤

THE COLD WATER WAS FLOWING OVER HER SHAKING HANDS. Courtney couldn't do this, she really couldn't. She didn't feel prepared. What if she did the wrong things? What if she killed that patient? No, no, she couldn't. Why had Cristina picked out her? She took a deep breath and tried to focus. Her hands were rubbing over each other. The resident went over the steps once again. Ever since she had entered that scrub room, she had been going over and over how she was supposed to do this surgery.

Courtney looked up at the gallery again. He still wasn't there. What was she supposed to do? She really wanted him there. She needed him there. She had called, texted and done everything she could but nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. He hadn't let her know anything. Mark had promised her. He had promised her that he would be there to witness her big moment. Why wasn't he here?

Why?

Why.

The man next to her was as much of a panicky mess as her. For a different reason but yet similar. It really wasn't their day for love it seemed like. Courtney closed her eyes, letting out a whimper. Alex turned to look at her, "What's wrong with you?"

"Says you."

Silence fell over the room. Water hit the steel sinks. Their breathing was rapid. If they could, they would probably dash out of that very room. Leave everything behind. But they wouldn't. They knew how big this opportunity was and they would never waste it away on a whim or on their feelings.

Courtney turned around first with her hip leaning against the sink. "I am freaking out. Majorly freaking out."

"You're freaking out? I'm freaking out."

"Why are you freaking out? I'm the one that will be removing someone's leg? You're just, I don't know, assisting me?"

"Rude."

Courtney wanted to cover her face with her hands, but those were still wet from the water. Besides she didn't want to have to scrub in again. So those hands remained in the air. Water dripped on her shoes. "I'm panicking, Alex."

"You think I'm not?"

"Why are you panicking?"

Alex let out a sigh, "I did something stupid, like just downright idiotic," He now surely had all of her attention. "I told Izzie I love her."

Courtney's eyebrows were scrunched, "Isn't that a good thing?"

"No? Do you see her up there?" Courtney peeked outside the window again. No Izzie Stevens in sight. "She's not gonna show up. Why did I do this? She probably thinks that I'm some idiot. Why did I say that right before our solo surgery?"

"Uh, first of all, my solo surgery. You're only my helper," Alex was glaring at her. "Okay sorry, not really the time. But really, Alex, this is a good thing. Telling her how you feel is a good thing if she responds or not. Don't you feel relieved? Now you know where you stand and she knows where you're at. That's really good! And, hey, if she doesn't love you back then, well, fuck Izzie you know? Who wouldn't love you? You might have some flaws here and there, but it adds to your character. And don't worry, she loves you back. I've seen you two together more than enough. She loves you as much as you love her. Sure she's acting a bit off now, but her feelings are still there. So, don't panic, she's gonna be there."

"Your turn."

"My turn?"

Alex looked at her, "Come on, we're apparently sharing feelings and giving out heartfelt advice. So, hurry up, why are you freaking out and shaking like a leaf?"

Courtney looked up at the gallery again. Still no Mark Sloan in sight. Her eyes darted around the room. A sigh escaped her lips as she made eye contact with her best friend again. "You can't tell this to anyone. I'm not joking. I am telling you this because I genuinely trust you. Don't break it, please."

"Did you kill someone or something?"

Here she went, "Uh, far from it actually. I, well, I, um, am kind of dating someone? Okay, well, I am in an actual relationship with Mark Sloan. Laugh all you want. Very funny, yes. But, Alex, he isn't here. I have no idea where he is and he won't answer the phone. I just wanted him to be here. I needed him to be here. And he isn't. I don't know if I can do this without him."

Alex let out a laugh, "Okay, yeah this explains a lot. The smudged lipstick this morning? That was because of him? Court, you really know how to pick 'em. The sex must be amazing, right?"

"Alex!"

"Right, right, sorry, heartfelt advice, right", Alex stood up straight. "Court, you are more than worthy enough to do this. You got chosen. You can and you will do this. You don't need anybody to tell you that you can do this. I'm not saying this because we are friends but Court, you are one of the best residents I've seen. Do you really need a man to watch over you? Even if he's your boyfriend? You don't need him to show everyone how amazing you are. You are Courtney Grey and you will successfully slice this man's leg off."

Courtney let out a laugh, "That went surprisingly well."

"I don't judge your choice of men, Court. You are dating him, not me. As long as he doesn't do anything to you, I'm fine with it. You don't judge and I don't judge."

"We make a good team, you know? Nothing beats amputating someone's leg with your best friend by your side."

"Well ..."

"No, Alex, don't say it. I'm not going to let you say it."

"Fine."

Courtney let out a deep sigh as she turned to face the operating room again. They were waiting for them. They were ready. More than ready. Most of the nerves had ebbed like water. She took some deep breaths

One.

Two.

One.

Two.

"It's time to go and kick medical ass, Karev."

☤☤☤

hey!

New chapterrr ~~Lots of things happened, huh . . . Where is Mark? Where could he be? Where's Waldo,, more like where's Mark. What could he be doing,,, good or bad things??? So much mysteryyyyy. I know of course, but what do you think? You could probably guess what is happening if you know what episode we're in. But the big question is,,, is that really happening or not?? Only time will tell *evil laugh* Also,, what's up with Peter? What could be happening thereeee. Does he like Lexie? Does he truly don't like her? Such exciting things being set up. And Courtney and Alex in that last part? ADORABLE. Not gonna lie, I think that was my favorite part to write this chapter. There are also so many parts that again I did not plan,, like the fact that Mer and Court literally used to fight when they were teenagers?? Spur of the moment decision ahahahha. 

Also as you did read,, Courtney ended up doing the solo surgery teehee. I thought why not? (for your information,,, Court really was the other fifty percent in votes... but Webber was going with the whole emotional torture in the show so I thought I would keep it that way) From the ways I've set this up, it's mostly Cristina and Courtney battling for that number one spot. Even during that race for the sparkle pager, they were number 1 and 2 (if I remember correctly,, I could be wrong since it's been a while). So, to me it made a bit more sense to have Courtney win it instead. 

That's all for today. I hope you enjoyed and see you soon!!