19| the light in the heart










BROADLY SPEAKING, there are two types of people on this Earth. The people that deal with their problems, finding a solution and maturely communicating their way through conflict— and the people that simply didn't.

    Rosie was, unfortunately, the latter. She had a habit of running away from her problems. The habit constructed when she did it once or twice and it worked in her favour. After that, she figured she had better luck fixing other people's problems than her own.

    Take for example, Rory's conundrum last night.  "I'm sorry about the other night."

"Honest mistake."

"I feel like you're still mad." Rory said half-heartedly.

"Hey, I'm a cool mom, remember?"

Rosie dug her hands in her jeans pockets, not focusing much on the conversation. She already sat through two hours of Rory apologetically doing everything in her ability to make it up to her mother. "Hey, where are we going?"

"Luke's."

Her face fell. "Oh," She cleared her throat, stopping in her tracks. "Maybe I should just go back home— I totally forgot there's something I have to do."

"What do you have to do?"

"Homework." She lied.

"Honey, it's spring break."

Rory stared at her inquisitively. "Is this about Jess?"

"What? No."

"Am I missing something?" Lorelai turned to her daughter. "Why would it be about Jess?"

"I saw him in her room at the party."

"What?" Lorelai then turned to Rosie.

"Not like that." She groaned. "He just..." She stopped when she figured it was time to tell them the truth. "It's a complicated situation."

"I love complicated situations."

    "Then I'll tell you all about it later—" She huffed through her nose, wearing slouching. "Can we pick another place to have lunch at tonight? Please?"

    The two reluctantly agreed, and headed to the bakery instead. Rosie could tell that both Lorelai and Rory were trying to be on their best behaviour and not ask about the situation with Jess. To satisfy the two, she gave them vague details of the situation, but refused to elaborate on it further on.

    "Three coffees." The waiter placed the three cups down on their miniature table.

    "We didn't order three coffees."

    "But you said coffee, coffee, coffee,." He quoted Lorelai in a less enthusiastic manner.

    "But, you see, coffee coffee coffee is just an expression." She attempted to explain through a smile. "It's just what I say when I really want coffee." When he wouldn't compromise, she sighed. "It's fine; then." She turned to the two girls. "Do you guys want coffee?"

    "No."

    "I had a coffee already."

     "Okay," She said in a regrettable tone. "Well, I'm guessing you don't have any pancakes either?" She asked the waiter.

    "We have pastries."

    "I hate pastries."

    "No you don't." Rosie retorted, then let out a sharp exhale. "Look, you guys can go to Luke's if you want." She offered begrudgingly, seeing them smile as a result.

     "Thank you!" Lorelai instantly stood from her seat, leaving the coffees on the table.

    "We'll bring you pancakes!"

     Rosie shook her head, taking out a book from her tote bag as the two left the bakery. She started reading the book, fully engrossed in the novel that by the time she finally tore her gaze off the paper, she realised it was almost sundown.

     By the time she lost her focus, she placed a bookmark on the page she reached in the book and set it down on the table. She couldn't help but think about the other night— how Jess had figured out that the items he was so fascinated by in Rory's room were actually Rosie's.

     She couldn't help but feel her stomach turn at the thought. She regretted how things went, how she didn't tell him that the annotations were hers from the moment he told her about them.

    But she remembered the anxiety she felt that day, hearing him talk about how connected he felt from
the notes. It scared her to have had someone read her most sincere interpretations of love and life that she wrote down in the margins. Not only that, but that he understood it and was fascinated by the notion.

She never picked up the book again, not even after he highlighted and wrote other notes down as well. She decided long ago that she didn't want to see that side of him— the side she could potentially connect with. Because she knew what comes after the connection.

"Are you wearing my jacket?"

    Rosie looked up from the space in the distance she was gaping at, and saw Jess towering over her with a smirk plastered on his face.  She looked down, confused until she realised she was wearing the leather jacket she took from him on the night they met. "Oh. From when we first met. I totally forgot it was yours."

     Jess bobbed his head. "It suits you."

     All of a sudden, she was fixating on how hot the room got. When she couldn't take the heat, she took off her jacket and folded it over her chair as she spoke. "Hey, uh," She stammered, clearing her throat before continuing. "I'm sorry about last night."

    He nodded again. He glanced at the window behind her, pointing out. "How about we go out?"

    "What?" She asked, startled.
 
    "Let's go out, get a coffee or something." When she pointed silently at the three cups of coffee on her table, she sighed. "How about ice cream?"

    "You're ridiculous." She scoffed. "I'm not Rory, Jess."

   "I wouldn't be here if you were." He said matter-of-factly.

    "This," She pointed between them. "isn't happening." After that, he grabbed the book from her table and clutched it under his arms. "You took my book."

   "I suppose I did."
  
   "Are you going to give it back?"
 
    Jess flipped through the pages until he reached a highlighted passage. "It's only after you've stepped outside your comfort zone that you begin to grow, change and transform." He read off the page, then peered down at her. "Huh, maybe you should take your own advice, Rosie."

    "You're really something, Mariano."

    He flipped to another page. "Life becomes easier and more beautiful when we can see the good in other people." He turned to her persuasively. "Don't you want to see the good in me, Rosie?" He asked sarcastically.

    "It terrifies me that there is more to you than what I already know." She said sternly.

    "I'm a loaded guy."

    "It's still a no, you know."

     "Always find opportunities to make someone smile, and to offer random acts of kindness in everyday life." He read off the book. "Come on, I'll be your charity work for today." He took a step towards the door, half expecting her to flip him off.

    But then, she stood from her seat and followed. She out on her jacket before following him out the door. She stopped on the front steps of the bakery and asked warily; "This isn't a hook up thing, is it?"

   He smiled. "No, Rosie, this is not a hook up thing."

   "Good, because I am not going to kiss you goodbye by the end of the night."

   "Didn't think so."

   "And this is in no way a date."

   He walked over to Luke's pick up truck and opened the door for her. "I promise ill take you to the least romantic place I know of, just get in."

  

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