when killua came back after 2 years of being in the battle arena, he was forbidden from seeing me. that still didn't stop him from sneaking into my tower at first, but when he was caught he would be tortured for full days.

and in the end, he stopped coming.

it's been 3 years since he came back, and suddenly one day he snapped and attacked mother and milluki before running away from home. i was so surprised when i first heard about it, not expecting him to snap. i thought that silva and illumi's training was successful, because he was even going to assassin missions and such.

illumi was sent to keep an eye on him and i of course stayed back. though i heard that killua went to take the hunter exam. i didn't know what a hunter was and what the exam was all about, so i had some maids explain it to me after my parents wouldn't budge.

i felt worried after they described the death rate, but i knew killua would make it because he's strong.

and i was right. a few weeks passed and killua returned home with illumi.

when i heard the maid announce it, immediately i jumped out of my bed and ran down to greet him.

i smiled widely when i saw him walk into the garden and towards the mansion. "killua!" i yelled, waving at him. he lifted his head up in surprise, not expecting me to be there. "m-mom?" he mumbled in shock. my smile faltered when i noticed the depressing aura he was emitting. i ran towards him before tackling him into a hug. he was stunned for a moment before hugging me back and shoving his head on my neck. "i missed you so much.." i whispered, hugging him tighter, "how was the outside world? did you make any friends?"

he was quiet before breaking the hug, "no.. i didn't." he muttered before walking past me. i stared at him in surprise, not expecting him to walk off like that. i stood up and rushed after him, but stopped when i saw kikyo and silva waiting for killua.

i froze in shock, watching as they said something to him before dragging him away.

"w-wait.. where are you taking him?" i said, walking up to them. i put my hand on killua's shoulder in an effort to pull him away from them, but he shook my hand off without looking at me.

"i can't be your son anymore." he mumbled and they walked away, not recognizing my presence.

i stood there in shock, registering his words in my mind. what's this..? what's going on... why do i feel like my world has just crumbled before me? tears tickled down my cheeks as i fell to the ground, holding my hands to my furiously beating heart in an effort to comfort myself. killua's words echoed in my mind.

♡

3 days have passed since then and killua is still being tortured. he hasn't been let out or given a break for even a moment and the one responsible for torturing him was milluki. though of course it was an order from silva and kikyo, which is why I was in front of him currently.

I got on my knees and lied my forehead against the ground as I said, "please let him go."

silva was silent, not speaking up.

"please let killua go."

"the crime he committed is grave. he will not be released and that decision is final. raise your head, y/n."

i slowly looked up, to meet his icy cold eyes that glared into mine. "he must be punished. you shall go to your tower, or you'll be punished as well." he stated and i shook my head tearfully. "you've hurt him so much that he cannot even cry from pain anymore..."

"you're dismissed, y/n." he glared at me, and anger emitted from him. i shivered in fear before finally leaving.

♡

days passed by agonizingly slow. i was mostly locked up in my tower, praying that killua would be released soon. as i stared out of the window, i noticed kikyo rushing out of the mansion with kalluto. it was strange, because i've never seen her run out of the mansion with such urgency.

i sighed, before looking away from the window. i couldn't bear to look at my family right now... because i'd always get reminded of killua. my notebook that was sitting ontop of my bed caught my attention. i hadn't touched it since killua came back, because almost all of the pages were filled with art of him and alluka. it hurt a lot to remember how things were in the past and how much they changed so quickly.

some time passed as i looked through my notebook in boredom, reminicising about the past when alluka wasn't locked up and when killua wasn't forced to keep his distance from me.

suddenly my door opened, but i didn't bother looking to see who it was. it was probably illumi or a maid checking up on my needs.

"mom.." a voice called out and immediately i turned my head to see killua. my eyes lit up, i pushed the blanket off of me and stumbled towards him before tackling him into a hug. "killua... you're okay..." i sobbed, holding him tightly as if he'd slip from my fingers at any time and disappear forever again. he hugged me back, "mom... i missed you." he said with a smile.

i pulled away from the hug and was shocked to see how battered his face was. i put my finger on his cheek, but he didn't wince, making me frown. "you're hurt." i whispered and he shook his head. "it's nothing. doesn't hurt, mom." his sweet smile made me almost cry again. i hadn't seen it in so many years. "what happened to you? you went to the hunter exam and... when you came back.." i whispered, remembering what he said.

he looked away in guilt, unable to look me in the face. "i'm sorry. i'm sorry for what i said. i didn't mean it, i only said it because of the circumstances... things happened in the exam and on the way back home. i felt you didn't deserve to constantly be in pain because of me." he explained and i shook my head. "you're my son, killua. i'd never hate you and you don't cause me pain. you're my joy and pride." i reassured, making him nod with a smile, "thank you, mom."

we stood up and he took off his backpack, "i spoke with father and he allowed me to leave home." i smiled, "i'm so happy for you killua, make good friends okay? and never look back at this place."

he shook his head, "father allowed me to bring me with you."

i froze. "he did?" killua nodded.

i felt uncertain, surely he had ulterior motives for doing this, right? he's never been compliant... and he was the one that was most against me leaving the mansion. "silva-san... isn't that kind of person, killua."

he shrugged as he walked past me and to my bed where he picked up my medication and a few of my notebooks, "it's fine. he allowed us to, so let's leave. it's what you've always wanted to do, right?" he said. once he finished he walked up to me who was still standing near the door, not knowing what to do.

i stared at him reluctantly as he extended his hand for me to hold. "a-are you sure?" i whispered and he nodded, a sweet smile decorated his face. i put my hand on his, and he dragged me along with him.

"how was the hunter exam, killua?" i asked as we walked down the long hallways of the mansion.

"it was easy, pretty boring even. but i made some friends." he said, looking ahead.

my eyes lit up, "friends?!" i asked excitedly. "that's amazing! can i meet them sometime?!"

he looked back at me and grinned, "we're going to them right now."

"now?"

"yeah! they came here to bring me back."

i pulled out a handkerchief and wiped my tears with it as i sniffed, "they came all this way, to the kukuroo mountain?" i asked.

"eh?! are you crying, mom?!" he exclaimed in surprise and i violently shook my head, "i-i'd never! it's just the onions!" i sobbed. "what onions?!!"

"i'm so proud, killua. you sound like you've made good friends." i said, tears stopping.

he nodded, agreeing silently.

finally we exit the mansion and thankfully we didn't come across any of my family members.

he led me through the garden and into the forest. "where are we going exactly?" i asked. he let go of my hand back when we exit the mansion, so we were now walking side by side. "to the butler's home." he stated.

"the butler's home? i've never been there." i asked, tilting my head.

"it's not too far from here! they should be waiting for us there." he said and i nodded.

i was surprised from how big the house was. killua knocked on the door and it opened, it seems the butler was awaiting our arrival. "killua-sama, y/n-sama. we've been waiting for you." he stated. "gotoh, where's gon right now?" killua asked.

"canary is bringing gon-sama here, along with his two friends." 'gotoh' stated.

"really?!"

"they should be arriving shortly, so please wait inside."

"okay."

gotoh allowed us to enter. i followed after killua silently, since he seemed to know where to go. gotoh was eyeing me and i tried to ignore that desperately. he closed the door after us and stayed near it.

"gotoh. notify me the second gon arrives." killua stated, looking at the tall butler.

he nodded, "yes, sir. i shall notify you immediately."

we entered a room and killua hopped ontop one of the few couches immediately. on the table lied a lot of robot toys.

i sat on the couch near him and sighed in relief, "that gotoh butler has a pretty intense aura to him.." i muttered making killua laugh. "he's pretty intense, but he's a good butler. you've never met him, right mom?"

i nodded, "i haven't met most of the butlers. i've only been assigned maids to care for me." except for mitsuya, but i didn't feel like i should talk about him to killua yet.

"so, tell me about your friends killua!" i said happily and he nodded, beginning to explain to me each of them.

so there was 3. liorio(spelled on purpose), kurapika and gon, the one who seems to have made the biggest impact on him. he described how bizzare he was and how he always managed to shock him with his actions and obliviousness.

he told me kurapika was from the kurta plan and wanted to avenge them and how liorio was studying to become a doctor and needed the funds. gon was becoming a hunter to chase after his father, which i found a little strange but he sounded like a wonderful friend.

"killua... you really do love your friends, huh?" i stated with a fond smile on my face. the boy blushed, "h-huh? no i don't! i'm just ... talking about them because you asked! nothing more!" he said in embarrassment, looking away. i giggled, "you're passionate about them. they seem like a wonderful bunch." i said as i pulled him into a tight hug. "oh how i missed you..." i whispered. killua smiled into the hug, snuggling into me and sighing from comfort. "thank you for protecting me with your best, mom. it's my time to protect you now." he said and i laughed, pulling away. "i'm pretty capable of defending myself, y'know!"

"i'm not a kid anymore, i'm stronger now so you don't need to baby me," he said as i pulled at his cute chubby cheeks. "you're so cute, killua! you'll always be my little baby!" i said, making him groan in embarrassment, "i'm not cute and i'm not a baby!"

"don't you think that they're taking long?" killua asked, and i looked at the clock before nodding, "you're right." he removed my hands from his cheeks before standing up.

"let's go check it out, mom."

i nodded, "wah! i'm so excited to meet them!"

"you better not embarrass me in front of them," he pouted, making me laugh. "i will try, but i've just missed you so much. we haven't been able to talk in so many years."

as we walked side by side, i realized something terrifying. i stopped in my tracks, making killua stop as well and look back at me in confusion. "killua! since when were you growing so fast?! y-you... you're almost my height!" i exclaimed, pointing at him. "i remember when you were just a little baby, about this size," i pointed at the floor, making him sweatdrop. "how could you have grown so fast, in 5 years?!"

he pouted, looking away, "you're the one who's short."

i cried inside as we walked together again, "it's because of how sick i was when i was a kid... isn't it..." i whispered sadly.

the boy pulled me with him, "c'mon mom!" he said and i followed him.

he opened a door and entered first, "gotoh, is gon here yet?" he asked.

"killua!" i heard a child call out.

"you're here, gon!

along with... um.. kurapika! and liorio!" killua exclaimed loudly. i walked into the room, suddenly feeling timid and shy.

on the couch in the middle i saw killua with 3 other boys. a tall and black haired man, a blondie and a green haired boy with spiky hair.

"leorio!!!" the tall man yelled, correcting killua.

i watched as they interacted, not wanting to interrupt the little moment they had. "it's been a while. i can't believe you came. what happened? your face is wack!" killua said with a grin.

"yours isn't any better!" the boy, i think gon, said with a laugh.

"hey gotoh! i told you to let me know as soon as they arrived. what were you doing?" killua said, looking at gotoh who bowed. "forgive me. i had them participate in a little game."

"game?"

"it was nothing but a poor joke. i apologize for any aggravation. did you enjoy yourselves?"

"that was really good acting.." leorio exclaimed, rubbing his head.

"oh yeah!" killua exclaimed, before turning to me. "come here! i'll introduce you to my friends!" he called out and i nodded in embarrassment, quietly walking up to them.

the 3 boys were confused at my appearance, but leorio was the one who snapped out of it first. "hey, killua! you didn't tell me you had such a hot sister!" he exclaimed, elbowing the shorter boy, making my cheeks heat up. killua immediately glared at leorio as he emitted bloodlust, "that's my mom.." he threatened with a dark look on his face.

"YOUR MOM?!!!" everyone yelled loudly, looking from me to killua back and forth.

"hi..!" i said quietly, giving a quick bow. "i-i'm killua's mom.. y/n." i stated, embarrassed at the attention i had on me. killua pouted, "oi why're you so shy now all of a sudden? you said you were excited to meet them." he said, looking back at his friends. my face heated up as i violently shook my head, "n-no..! i mean.. yes!" i waved my hands in embarrassment, not knowing what to say. this is the first time i ever talk to someone outside of the zoldyck mansion..!

the green haired boy smiled, "i'm gon! nice to meet you, y/n-san!" i was caught off guard from how sweet he was, before smiling. "you are gon? i've heard a lot about you. thank you for being here for killua." i bowed, but the boy quickly shook his head. "n-no need to bow, y/n-san!"

i raised my head, "please don't be formal with me." i looked at the blond guy, "i take it you're kurapika?"

he nodded, "i am. pleased to meet you." he said as he extended his hand. i stared at it for a moment in confusion, before killua pulled my hand and made me shake his. my cheeks warmed in embarrassment, "s-sorry. i've never been outside of the mansion before so i don't know much about the etiquette from outside of it." i explained, making kurapika shake his head in understanding, "that's fine."

"and i'm leorio! pleasures all mine." the tall doctor stated, pointing at himself. "any chance you're single, by the way?"

"oi! that's my mom you're talking to!" killua yelled, making the others laugh.

"c'mon! you can share, can't ya?" leorio sighed, acting as if killua was selfish.

"dude! i'll fight you off if i have to!" the boy yelled. the two kept glaring at each other and gon awkwardly laughed. "sorry about them. leorio is just joking around so don't worry about it." he stated with a bright smile.

"no i'm not!"

before killua could beat his ass kurapika pushed leorio out of the way, making him dodge killua's fist.

i payed more attention to gon and nodded. "you have a very bright smile, gon. i can tell you're a sweet boy." i stated, making him rub his head in embarrassment, "thanks, hehe."

"should we leave? i can't imagine mother is exactly satisfied with this result." i stated, looking at the others. "she might bring aniki to drag me back."

"aniki..?"

"illumi. he's my older brother." i said.

immediately leorio was on his way out, "oh yeah. we need to get the fuck out of here." he said. we laughed before following him. "bye, gotoh!" killua said.

♡

we walked through the city as the boys discussed gotoh and his coin game. i looked around me, surprised by how pretty the city was. i felt so much joy. i was finally out of that hell hole and with my son too. not only that, he's made the sweetest friends ever!!! i had to hold in tears when i watched them interact, remembering how lonely and depressed he used to be in the past. "the city is so nice..." i said, staring at the pretty displays of different shops we passed. some had toys, others had clocks and some even had jewlery.

"i totally forgot! you've never been outside of the mansion, that means you've never seen the shops here." killua exclaimed, making the boys confused once more.

"you guys mentioned how she doesn't leave the mansion, but isn't she an assassin like you?" leorio asked, putting his hands behind his neck.

"i was meant to be, but my body couldn't take the training so i fell sick at a young age. i wasn't allowed to leave because it's too dangerous for me." i said, staring at the nearby shop selling clothes.

killua seemed to notice where i was staring and stopped abruptly, making all of us stop too. "why don't we stop and go to this clothing shop? you're wearing that old dress."

i looked down at what i was wearing and my face heated up in embarrassment, "a-are you sure..? i wouldn't want to waste any time..."

leorio immediately intervined, "hey! it's fine! let's get the girl some clothes to celebrate her first day outta that sad mansion!" he yelled before dragging us all into the shop. "thank you," i smiled.

we looked through the clothes, and i was mesmerized with how pretty they were. i never thought about clothing before because i was so occupied with other things happening in my life, and i was never taught to care about what i was wearing. pretty clothes are really nice...

"hey! this will look good on you mom!" killua yelled, making us turn to look at him. he was holding a simple and pretty white dress. "it matches with your hair," he said as he gave it to me. i gave him a kiss on the cheek, "aww! thank you, killua!" i smiled and he immediately blushed before looking away, "don't do that! it's embarrassing..." he mumbled and i had to fight the urge to squeeze him against me from how cute he was. the 2 boys were snickering at killua from the side, making him even more embarrassed, "i'll beat you all up! come here!!" he yelled, chasing his friends who immediately scattered. kurapika sighed at their antics before taking me to the cashier. "let's buy that dress before we get thrown out because of those 3." he stated and i nodded.

kurapika bought the dress for me, despite me reassuring him that he didn't need to. the cashier pointed to a little room, "go in there if you want to wear it. it's a changing room," he said, making us nod. i went inside and kurapika waited for me, watching as the boys messed around.

i removed my old dress, before wearing the new one. i stared at the mirror, doing a little twirl. i've never looked so pretty before! who knew killua had such great tastes when it came to clothes. i'd definitely have to ask him for clothing advice after this...

i stepped out of the dressing room, to see the boys being chased out of the shop by kurapika before they could break something expensive. i thanked the cashier before running after them. i exited the shop and immediately was surprised by how worn out the three looked (gon, killua and leorio). "shall we go?" i asked, smiling. it made me so happy to see killua having fun!

"looks good on ya, mom." killua said, making me thank him.

"yeah! it really suits you, y/n-san!" gon said and i shook my head, "no way..! you're so sweet!" putting my hands on my cheeks as i blushed. killua bumped gon's side to gain his attention, "be careful with what you say to her or she won't let you go.." he whispered.

everyone knew leorio was about to say something, so before he did all 3 boys glared at him, shutting him up successfully.

"now, should we head to the train?" kurapika asked with a smile.

♡

hi guys! finally we meet the boys. we are healing y/n's inner child by taking her shopping! very silly and fun!

i will add the dress she is wearing next chapter. remember guys you don't need to imagine yourself wearing what i give her! i just picked something simple because i didn't want her to wear a overly detailed clothes that she pops out from the boys a lot. i want her to blend in a bit (pretty difficult when she has silva's features hehe)

note: yep killua calls silva father! it's because he didn't grow up with his biological father and silva wanted to take that role. killua didn't mind, and that's why he still calls him that ^^