The two polar bears stopped making out in the middle of the questioning room, if just because things were getting a bit weird with the Captain's whole team watching. 

"Right," he said, rearranging his Captain's hat. "Sorry. Um where were we? I'm terribly sorry-"

"Don't be," laughed Dashi. "We're all happy for you Captain!"

For a moment the Captain looked like a five year old schoolboy, just complimented by his teacher. He gave his new girlfriend a quick peck than got back to things.

"Well, thank you, but I'm sure Crash wants us to move on."

"I mean, as much as I enjoy this romance, you're not exactly wrong," Crash said. "Plenty of juicy stuff coming up."

"I'm worried," said Dashi. "Very very worried."

Crash just grinned even more.

"Yes. Now. Questioning Kwazii's grandfather," Amy said. Then in a near-perfect mockery of Captain Barnacles' usual phrase: "Octonauts, let's do this!"

"Haha," said Calico Jack. "That was a good one. Now, you got questions for me or what? I was just in the middle of a brilliant chase down the Nile river when I got teleported here."

"Impatient, just like your grandson," scolded Amy jokingly. "Now. Question number one. How did you and Pete meet, and how did you know he'd be such a great sidekick?"

Pete--who had been strangely absent from the pirate's shoulder--fell out of the air with a squawk.

"Hello hello? What do we have here what do we have here?"

"We've got a questioning," Calico Jack filled his parrot in. "And the first question is how we met. It's a great story. It happened when I was out exploring the wild Bolivian rainforest. It was a madhouse in there, the weather was storming, the ants were biting, the trees were falling."

"Sounds scary," breathed Peso.

"Sounds fun," laughed Kwazii.

"Yes, it was. I was having a gallivanting good time romping around, searching for the fabled treasure of Bootbuckle Bill when I came upon Pete. He was much more intelligent than the rest of the parrots and not only mirrored everything I said, but could hold a conversation. When I asked if he was interested in joining me on my adventures, he agreed."

"And that's how we became a team became a team," squawked Pete.

"Indeed. Next question?"

"I love you older Octoagents. You actually ask for more questions," Amy nodded appreciatively. "Next question. If you're Kwazii's grandad, what happened to his parents?"

Calico Jack shook his head sadly.

"Terrible storm. Happened when the three of us were off searching for the fabled Bermuda Triangle."

Kwazii's eyes widened.

"My parents were pirates too?"

"Of course! Runs in the family. Anyways, where was I... Ah yes, the Bermuda Triangle..."

"What's the Bermuda Triangle?" Peso asked. "Is it dangerous?"

"Supposedly, the Bermuda Triangle is a very dangerous part of the ocean in North America. A good lot of boats and planes that disappear each year are blamed on this area."

"Did ya find it matey?" Kwazii asked excitedly.

"Find it we did," Calico Jack said with a solemn shake of his head. "Or it found us. Our boat went down and with it, two of the finest pirates I've ever known."

The Captain removed his hat, it simply seemed like the right thing to do. The Octonauts followed in a brief moment of mourning for Kwazii's parents.

"I'm sorry," Amy said quietly, so quiet she pretty much mouthed it.

"Don't be," Calico Jack rumbled. "Tragedy's better in the past and secrets better out in public."

"Wise words," nodded Crash.

"Right," Amy said, unsurely. "Next, um... Next question. A little more... lighthearted. Are all of these pirate stories of yours passed from generations, or have you made some of them?"

Kwazii immediately jumped up.

"Made 'em? There's a volume of them just for me grandad! He's sailed the world seventy-seven times over, he's done battle with every sea serpent there is to grapple yer paws against! He's tackled the Nackerwack single-handedly, he's chased down a legendary Dabbalock! He's-"

"Woah woah woah," Calico Jack said. "Sure I've done some of that, but yer have to credit the other pirates as well. There's Gingerbeard, Bootstrap Bill, William Kidd-goat, and Kwazii, your parents were some swashbucklers themselves. Not to mention, Kwazii has made some tales himself."

"What do you mean grandpa?"

"Which other pirate's gone gallivanting down to the Mariana trench? Who's been in a volcano and has made it out alive?"

Kwazii blushed and mumbled something like "thanks Grandpa."

"Why are you called Calico Jack? Does 'Calico' have a different meaning? Is your coat calico or what? Sorry if it's intrusive but I just need to know."

"Actually when I was younger," Calico Jack said, looking ponderously off into the distance. "I didn't wear these old rags. I had this wonderful smooth calico suit that I'd wear on ship and pretty much anywhere and it became my trademark. And pretty soon it became part of my name as well."

"You had a calico suit? What does that mean? Sorry I'm not English," said Amy.

"Oh," said Shellington, quickly jumping to the rescue. "Calico is a colour. Hex code... #DFC184 I believe."

"Of course you know the hex code for light beige," Dashi said with a roll of her eyes.

"Hey, you knew what calico actually was as a colour," grinned Shellington. "I'm rubbing off on you."

"Guess you are," laughed Dashi with a little sparkle in her eyes.

"Hey, hey, cut the flirting," Kwazii said to their joint embarrassment. "Crash, Amy and Princess are trying to interview the greatest pirate on the seven seas."

"Oh I'm done," laughed Amy. "Although Crash might have some questions."

"Yeah, I do have one. As fun as it is to see Dashi and Shellington blush whenever Kwazii talks about them, I've got a question for our favourite pirate above the age of thirty. I know this might be a touchy subject--don't answer it if you don't want to--but who was your wife?"

Calico Jack sighed.

"Once on a little adventure sailing down the Rhine chased by other pirates, I saved a girl's life. She was taken captive by the pirates, and they were threatening to make her walk the deck, all tied up, if I didn't stop the ship and hand over my treasure."

"So what'd you do?" Kwazii asked excitedly, tail twitching and sitting on the very edge of his chair.

"I swung the boat round, pretended to hand over the treasure, than revealed the fake. When they pushed the girl off the deck, I dove off after her. The pirates thought they had won, but I had fired out a lifeboat from my own boat before leaving, and I aimed the jump so that the two of us landed on the boat with my treasure, quickly swinging back to the main boat and escaping down the Rhine on a high-speed cannonball chase."

"Wow!" Kwazii said. "Who was the girl?"

"Well," Calico Jack said. "Once I'd untied her, she turned out to be a remarkably pretty and intelligent girl named Clara. In fact, she was so intelligent she'd had her own escape plan and the only thing that went wrong was the guard having dropped the key; she managed to knock him out but realised there was nothing on him of any use."

"And you married her?" Crash asked.

"I married her," confirmed Calico Jack. "We had such a brilliant life together... We had three kids. One of which was your father Kwazii. She... Clara died later out on the sea... There was a creature. A shark, or a crocodile or a something. It took her away and..." Calico Jack turned away. 

Crash put a hand on the old grieving pirate.

"I'm sorry. Do you... Do you need some time alone?"

"Nah. I'm okay. I'll... I'll just... Take some time..."

Kwazii got up and gave his grandfather a hug.

"Don't worry grandpa. I won't leave you in forever."

A patient silence from the rest of the crew as the two of the bravest people they knew embraced in the middle of the room.