"look at me, i'm afraid
i'm nervous about it."

-1°

minha pov

i called a taxi to bring me to my old high school. by this time, i remembered everything already except the reason that caused me to lose my memories, so i came here hoping to get something that triggered my memory. 

when i reached, i got out of the car and looked at the familiar scene in front of me. even though it was currently dark, i could still imagine the few of them running around the school garden and some of them drinking banana milk at the bridge which connected the junior high building and senior high building. 

i wanted to go into the main building but it was locked by the guard so i headed to the side building where our hideout was. this place was our hideout because it was on the only building of the school that would never be locked. it was the building closest to the dormitory and there was a bridge connecting them. i used the stairs and i walked up 7 flights of stairs towards the rooftop where all the messy tables laid.

i looked at the tables and smiled as i saw our cravings of "silver boys let's debut" on the wooden tables. i continued walking towards the other side and saw a place that i haven't recalled in my memories. my heart started pumping alot faster as i continued looking at it.

my head kept throbbing and i held onto it as i closed my eyes, hoping for the pain to else. right then, i could imagine the whole scene unfolding in front of me.

-

"fucking slut, can you just stay away from all of them???" one girl shouted as she pulled my hair.

as i glared at her and tried resisting, another slapped me, "you deserve all this shit now, and don't even imagine going back to them crying."

"i never did that," i said.

"haha, as if, just go and die already."

they really had nothing better to do, i'm already distancing myself from the silver boys. 

"bitch, we already said we will force you to hell if you do not stay away from them. but you're still getting so touchy with hyunsuk and byunggon??? they belong together, not get played by you," one of the girls walked closer to me.

she continued pushing my shoulder as i reached the corner of the rooftop, "you are not even half as good as them. ugly whore."

dude, i always had really high tolerance level and never let them get to me, but this shit has really been going on for a long time and i knew what would make them run away. i stood on top of the edge of the building, "since you want me to go to hell that much, what about i show it to you?"

their eyes all widened in shock, one of them said, "what the heck? come down now."

i crossed my arms and raised an eyebrow, "you think i don't dare?"

they then looked at each other and ran away, "whatever you do up here is none of our business."

heck, they were so easy. i dust my clothes off as i prepared to hop back onto the ground. from there, i slipped when i was going to come down and 

there i went. i really fell onto the ground, at the first level. 

BAAM! 

the sound could be heard. everyone crowded around me as i heard, "why did she commit suicide?"

i could hear the sound of chains rattling against each other as everything suddenly turned black.

-

my head was just spinning now. was that why i lost all my memories? my head right now just felt like it was being hit like a hammer, and i wanted it to stop. there and then, i just fell unconscious once again.

-

hyunsuk pov

when i reached the high school, there was no one at all. even when i called out her name, there was no response. the side building beside the dormitory would be the only place open now so i decided to head there, where our old hideout was. 

when i reached, i only saw minha lying unconscious on the floor. i hurried and pick her up from the floor and checked if she was still breathing. (of course, thankfully yes)

i carried her to the car and headed off for the hospital. meanwhile, i called gon, "heyhey i found her, but i'm rushing her to the hospital now."

"why? is she injured?"

"no, i just found her unconscious.'

"okk, ill head over once i've settled the boys in your house."

"okay, see you," i hanged up.

i looked at her and sighed, did she really remember everything? what if she remembers the reason why she hated me so much that she committed suicide? i was such a trash boyfriend... i rather not hear anything from her first, let's just avoid again. let's just run away from everything again choi hyunsuk.

-

minha pov

when i woke up, i realised i was in the hospital. it was the gazillion time i was in the hospital in a span of a year. i looked beside me and gave a slight frown. 

"why, are you disappointed to see me?"

"yes very, i wanted to see my husband, not my big brother."

byunggon chuckled, "missing him the moment you woke up? don't worry, he just have matters to tend to this few days."

"he's just avoiding me isn't he," i sulked.

"no, he isn't," gon defended.

"stop defending him, i know the two of you are the world's best brothers. i'm not even your sister anymore when he comes into the picture."

"have you remembered everything?" he changed the topic.

"yea..." i looked down.

he looked at me sincerely, "can i ask something slightly sensitive?" i then nodded my head.

"why did you attempt to commit suicide?"

"huh? i never..." i looked at him confused.

he widened his eyes, "you're telling me that the incident where you lost your memories was an attempt to suicide?"

"yeah what the heck. it was an accident, i am not a very careful person," i furrowed my eyes, "why? did everyone think it was an attempt?"

"dude, yea. how the heck can you be so careless to almost kill yourself," he smacked my forehead.

i rubbed the forehead which was in pain, "at least i'm alive now."

-

a few days went on without seeing hyunsuk. it was the 10th day today and it was still me alone in the house with servants at times. he would never reply to my messages and or even try to call me. i don't even know where he went anymore and i had 10000 questions to ask him. i wanted to start talking about the past.

but i couldn't do that alone. i had no idea why he was avoiding me, even byunggon did not tell me. i wanted to ask him what happened to his life when i was unconscious? what happened to silver boys? their debut? how was his life? was he happy? 

i would wait though. if he could wait for me for the one month with me avoiding him, just for me to regain my memories, then i could wait for him till he is ready to talk. i'll wait.  

a/n: d-1 to debut???? we are finally becoming a fandom with a debuted group! also im so sorry if my story is getting kind of confusing :-(