It's ya girl, Max. Thought you'd seen the last of me huh?

It's been actually years since I wrote in this dusty ass journal. So, what's up? What's new? Really? Omg, that sounds so cool! Just kidding, I can't actually hear you. (Or can I? Dundundundundu)

Anyway, back to the more important stuff: my own life. Our everyday heroes contest. You will all not ever believe but, I won.

I won third place, that is. Apparently choosing myself as an everyday hero is a bit conceited? I'm a bit obsessed with myself? And the judges aren't? Sad. But you know what they say; nothing better than getting to third...base... It's a sex thing. If you're reading this book right now you probably wouldn't get it.

On that kinky topic, I was asked out on a date(;

Just kidding, it's just my ol' friendo Warren and I are going to watch some ape movies. You know, I'm really just so tired of all this romance drama. It's truly nice to simply kick back and relax with my best friend. And apparently Victoria and Chloe are tagging along. Squad up. (Warren: help me oUT HEL)

*suddenly it's a movie screen, the camera zooms out of Max's room to show a flashback*
'Sorry, Lisa, Warren comes first'
'Looks like D wants me to get the d.'
'Warren leaned in for a hug, which I accepted this time'
'I took Warren's hand and pulled him into the house'
'This is not what I had in mind when I thought about being tightly pressed up against Warren's body'
'your bitch Warren'
It's all written on torn, old pieces of paper. Warren is clutching each one like a child. A tear falls, slightly smudging the words. 'Has it all been for nothing?' He thought to himself, wiping the tears with the back of his hand. He looks up. A ray of sunlight shines onto his face. He sees it. He sees the ape.
"Invite her to go ape, Warren," the fairy ape whispers to him softly. It's the wisest thing the scientist has ever heard. He has a plan.
*what type of drugs am I on while writing this, you may wonder?*

Back to me, chilling on my bed and I have made the most grave mistake of asking Dana to help me pick out an outfit.

"Consider the weather, Dana," I roll my eyes as she holds up a spaghetti strap shirt. "I could literally cut the door open with my nipple, it's so cold."

"That's why it's PERFECT! You don't understand anything in dates, Max. Tsk tsk tsk." She turns around, putting her hands in the air dramatically, discarding the shirt on the floor. "Picture this," oh my go-"you're sitting there, obviously freezing. Warren, being the hero he is, offers you his jacket. He hands you the jacket, you reach out for it, your hands touch and suddenly you are both engulfed with need and--"

"Chloe and Victoria are coming as well," I pointed out.

"They don't matter. Nothing else matters when you are with Warren--" low-key crying on the inside. Thank you so much for the help.

"Thanks, Dana. But I'll think I'll just go with my casual shirt and jeans. You can go." I started pushing the girl out of my room.

"At least a v-neck shirt, come on!" I shut the door behind her, sighing. I did what I wanted, I'm an independent woman, and put on my normal attire. Not hard (;;;;; im sorry I'm like 9 years old) to impress Warren.

I walked out of my dorm room, and the whole while I felt as if I was being watched. Anytime I turned my head, it was as if somebody was quickly scampering out of my view.

The shrill noise of my phone notification made me jump. Good job @ me. Scared of my own phone. A round of applause everybody. It was Chloe, who, as usual, said she might be a tiny bit late. Question I ask myself every single day, what does Chloe do all the time that makes her late to every single event?

I came out to the gate where Warren was planning to meet me, however was faced with the fact I was standing there all alone. Not even Victoria had showed up yet. Weird. I heard a noise behind me.

"Well well well. Who is this I see by the gates of Blackwell, well well." Brooke. I knew it. I could smell pettiness from a mile away. How could I be so blind? I turned on my heel.

"Keep talking, Brooke. Maybe one day, you might say something actually smart." I leaned back on my leg and smiled at her. Am I not an amazing role model? You're welcome, everybody. Universal comebacks, never get old.

"How many nights were you up trying to think of that one, Maxine?" She took a step forward. Bibbity bobbity back the fuck up right now. Max never Maxine.

"Funny you should say that while all you do is chase after me until we get a moment alone."

"Talking to me is the only highlight of your dull, miserable life anyway. This is basically charity work." I'm sorry, who is this woman again?

Out of my flawless peripheral vision, I could finally see Warren approaching. He is three minutes late. What does he think I am, a skank?

"You'll have to excuse me. Looks like it's time for me to head off on a date with my boyfriend. You do go have fun in the science labs, though. Study or something. It doesn't seem as if you have anything better to do anyway." I strutted off, meeting my nerd halfway. (Meanwhile, explosions appeared behind me as I walked away. Apply cold water to the burn and cover the area with a bandage, Brooke.)

"Hey Max! You look great, as u--" Nothing I don't already know.

"Pretend this is a date, okay? For a minute," I whispered, taking his hand. Don't fight fire with fire, they said. Don't listen to them. All of them are cishet white men anyway. Smash the patriarchy. Do what you want.

"Wait, so this isn't really a date--" *whistling*

"Pretend we're having so much fun right now. Is Brooke watching?"

"Yeah...she's leaving now." Bye bitch...mob shit, boss talk, game rich, name game, gang signs, work on the phone call it base line--

So you see me, well actually, no you don't see me at all but in your mind's eyes and all that bullshit - imagine me, I'm just in my deer shirt, a jacket, jeans, shoes, socks, etc. Just me. All the clothes on me were bought during a sale, years ago. And now imagine Victoria, pulling up here right now, in her designer outfit, glossy lipgloss, perfectly applied make up.

Naturally, I'm a bit taken aback.

Obviously, feeling a little gay.

"Wowser," I breathed out under my breath. 'Breathed out under my breath', are you proud of me now, Ms Hopkinson? On my way to get an English degree.

Victoria huffed and looked away. "Whatthefuckever. If not for you, I'd be the hottest person in this parking lot."

"A N Y W A Y, will we head off then?" Warren suddenly stepped in. (Jealous maybe???(; )

"Sure--oh and Chloe will be--"

"Late. I know." We dumped Warren's poor, poor car and decided to pack into Victoria's ride. Self explanatory, I think.

"Chloe texts you?" Warren froze for a moment, staring off into the dashboard with a glint of fear in his eyes.

"Sometimes, texts me, yeah." Chloe, what did you do?

(You might be thinking, 'yo, who does chick think she is? Coming back two years later like it's no problem?' I left the LIS fandom for a while because it was very triggering for me at that moment in particular, but I am back. Hopefully I'll get back to y'all on all my promises sometime soon(; )