Chapter twenty eight

As Max drove Jay to the park that his and Nathan's special tree were, Max thought deeply. How much did Jay love Nathan? Did Jay really have feelings for Max, or was he just trying to make Nathan jealous or something? Max found himself doubting Jay and wondering what kind of a game he was playing. Is he even aware that he's playing with the two boys' feelings,since he's a bit mental?

Max noticed that ever since Jay met Nathan, the fantasies had gotten worse. Jay was getting worse every day. He remembered the trances Jay would go into, and then the flashback of that night he found Jay in the bathroom made him involuntarily shudder.

"Are you cold?" Jay asked, confused. After all, it was pretty warm that day. The car windows were even open halfway.

"No, I'm alright."

"Then why did you shudder?" he pressed.

"Are you always this observant?" Max asked, getting a bit annoyed at Jay's questions. If anything, this wasn't how Max had planned to spend the day he got out from the hospital. Sure, he loved Jay, but he hated that his day was going into finding the lad that Jay's always freaking out about and asking for.

Max wanted to be that person. Not Nathan.

"Yeah, pretty much. Now what's on your mind."

"Nothing, really."

"Fine, then don't tell me. Take the next exit off the highway." Jay turned away and looked out the window, letting the warm breeze blow through his curls. Jay looked back for a moment, just to read Max's face, but saw Tom in the driver's seat instead.

"Holy shit!" Jay yelled and grabbed the wheel. The car swerved and miraculously didn't crash. Jay heard some shouting and swearing from the drivers in the cars that passed by them.

"Jay, what the bloody hell is wrong with you?" Max shouted. His loud tone scared Jay.

"I-I'm s-sorry, I-I don't know what I was thinking", Jay replied, almost in tears. What if he would have been the cause of Max getting into another car accident, the same day he was discharged?

"Hell, yeah! Why would you do that? You could've gotten us killed? Are you retarded or something?" Jay felt a stab in his chest. Max's words hurt him so badly Jay started to cry.

Max realised what he said. Had he just called Jay a retard? He felt like the biggest arse in the world. Jay didn't deserve that. There must've been a reason as to why Jay jumped that way.

"Jay, I'm so so-"

"No, just don't", Jay said as he flung open the car door and climbed out.

"Jay, don't go! At least get in the car and let me drive you to the park.

"I'll walk", Jay said bitterly as he began to walk down the long highway.

Max climbed out of the car as well and ran to Jay, whirling him around to face him.

"Jay, I'm really sorry, I wasn't thinking."

"Do you know why I stopped the car, Max? Do you know why?" Max shook his head.

"I looked away and when I looked back it wasn't you next to me. It was Tom, okay? I saw Tom next to me and it gave me a proper scare. So don't judge before you know the facts, okay?" Jay spat in Max's face. Max looked down at the ground in shame.

"Jay, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to call you that."

"Well you did", Jay replied before turning to walk away again.

Max just couldn't let him walk away being angry with him. He had to do something.

"Jay, wait!" he said as he pulled Jay's arm. Jay whirled around to face him again.

"Max, what do you-" He was cut off by Max's lips on his. He immediately kissed back, completely forgetting that he was angry in the first place. Max brought his hand up to Jay's cheek and ran the pad of his thumb across it as their lips moved in sync. Jay wrapped his arms around Max's waist and pulled him closer. It was a sweet kiss, not one full of lust and hunger the way Tom's lips were on Jay's. Jay liked this kind of kiss. It was like the one he had with Nathan, soft and gentle, but with love in it.

When Jay and Max needed air desperately, they both pull away and rest their foreheads against each others. Max looked deeply into Jay's bright blue eyes and smiled. "Did you just forgive me?" Max asked softly.

Jay looked just as deeply into Max's perfect gray-green eyes. "Maybe", he replied, wanting to tease him a bit.

"Jay, I'll always be here for you", Max said.

"I know you will, but what scares me is what if I can't be there for you all the time? I'm not sane, Max. What if I can't give that back?"

"You don't have to, Jay. I'll always understand. I know you're not in the best of places, but we can work through that. I don't need anything from you. I just need to know you love me."

"I do", Jay said without hesitation.

"Then that's all I need to know", Max replied with that smile that made the crinkles by his eyes come out. Jay smiled just as brightly.

"Now, let's go find Nathan", Max said.

"Wait, Max?"

"Yeah?"

"Can we just walk together, for a bit, before we go into the park?" Jay asked shyly.

Max chuckled. "Of course we can, Bird." Both boys climbed back into Max's car and shut the doors. They drove off of the highway and parked a few blocks away from the park. They continued to walk together. Max reached for Jay's hand and Jay immediately intertwined his fingers with Max's. The sun shone brightly, with a few puffy white clouds in the sky. The gentle breeze blew, ruffling Jay's hair a bit. Max noticed and chuckled as he combed Jay's messy locks back into place. He let his fingertips linger on Jay's face for a few seconds, and Jay leaned into his touch. Max leaned in and kissed Jay's soft pink lips gently, letting the kiss linger for a few more seconds. Jay smiled into the kiss and held Max's hand tighter. Once they pulled away, they continued the walk towards the park.

On the way, Max saw a few flowers growing outside of the park fence. He had an idea. He ran over to it like a little boy and picked out the prettiest one, and ran back to Jay. Jay laughed out loud as Max offered it to him with a cute smile.

"You're such a cheeseball, Max", Jay replied whilst taking it from him and smelling it.

"It's all a part of my charm, Jaybird."

Jay laughed again and put it behind Max's ear. "There, it looks better on you than it would on me", he said with a giggle.

Max rolled his eyes and laughed. "Shut up, Jay. Everything looks amazing on you." Jay blushed and giggled.

The two boys were like a little girl and boy, both discovering what it is to like someone, what puppy love really is. They got tutted and sneered at by a few rude people, and other just smiled and shook their heads at the innocence of these two. Max wanted to keep things innocent with Jay, if this was indeed the beginning of a relationship. He knew Tom raped Jay, though Jay didn't want to talk to him about it. He completely understood that. He figured if he wanted to win over Jay, he had to do it slowly and innocently. He knew Jay was traumatised, and so he should take things slow. Jay was innocent at heart; he had no idea about most things in the world because he spent all his time locked up in his room, fearing contact with other people. Max thought Nathan was going about helping Jay back to sanity wrong; Nathan always wanted Jay in his room, and in Nathan's arms to ensure Jay's safety.

Max saw it differently. He thought that the best thing for Jay was to experience the world, to be a part of it. He wanted Jay to stop fearing other people and what they thought of him. This was the first step, acting as if in a relationship in public. Jay didn't even seem to care that he was being tutted at. Jay was actually smiling and laughing. He hadn't done that since they were kids, playing in Tom's yard on the trampoline. When Jay, Max, Siva, and Tom all never left each other's sides, when they had water balloon fights on Siva's block, when they used to take turns on the swings at the park and would compete to see who could swing the highest.

As they got a little older, when they would go to Max's flat and play video games, always yelling at each other when playing against each other and laughing when it wasn't their turn.

Max even remembered Jay's huge smile when they used to get money from their parents and run off to buy ice cream. When Jay had it for the first time, he looked as if the ice cream was a Godsend. Max smiled at the memory as Jay looked around and smiled.

This is how Jay will get better, Max thought. This is what he needs. Not to be confined in his room, wondering about the world around him, but out and about, trying new things, seeing new sights, breathing in fresh air. And that's what Max would ensure. He would make sure Jay experienced the world, even if Nathan didn't like it.

His thoughts were interrupted as Jay ran over to an ice cream cart and pointed.

"Max! Max! Ice cream! Can I have some, pleeeeeeeease?" he begged, dragging out the e.

Max chuckled. "Of course, Bird! Which one?"

After they both got their ice cream cones and Jay was a ball of sunshine and rainbows, they sat down at a bench for a bit. Jay finished his cone in a matter of ten minutes, and looked like he wanted more.

"Here, do you want the rest of mine?" Max asked. Jay shook his head, but his eyes said differently.

"I insist, take it!" Jay smiled shyly and took it.

"Thanks, Maxie", he replied as he began to eat the cone. Max noticed Jay had a little ice cream on the tip of his nose. He chuckled and said, "Don't move, Jay."

He wiped the ice cream off with his thumb and licked it off his finger. "There", he said.

Jay laughed as Max pecked his nose. "Always was a messy eater", Jay said.

"I know, but it's cute." Jay blushed again and leaned his head on Max's shoulder.

"Hey Maxie?"

"Yeah?" Max replied, smiling at how Jay kept calling him "Maxie".

"Can we do this again sometime?" Jay asked softly. Max didn't understand what Jay had to be shy about. Did he think Max would say no?

Max kissed the top of his head. "Jaybird, of course we can! Did you think I'd say no?"

"Maybe..." Jay replied softly. "I'm a freak, remember?"

Max felt a rush of anger that Jay felt that way about himself. He shifted and held up Jay's chin so that they were at eye level.

"Jay, don't ever call yourself that again. You are not a freak. You're the most perfect human being in the world, okay? I wouldn't want you any differently. I would never say no to you. You don't have to be shy, yeah?"

Jay stays quiet for a moment before he said, "Really? You think so?"

Max replied, "I know so, Bird. And yes, we can most definitely do this again. Whenever you want."

"Okay", he said with a bright smile.

"Jay, this is honestly the best way to spend my day after being discharged. Thank you for that", Max said as he stroked his hair.

Jay hugged Max tighter and kissed his shoulder. "No problem, love."

The two boys sat there for another hour, until the sun began to set. In the back of his mind, Jay still thought of Nathan, but being in Max's arms felt so good. He couldn't bring himself to pull away from Max. The moment was just too perfect to end.

Written by @chasing_TW.