"I said leave me alone!" The sound that follows this is a combination grunt of frustration and two fists pounding on the door.

"Just let him cool down Ev, he'll talk when he's ready." Aunt Jess pushes a plate of sandwiches across the counter but no one makes any move to take one.

I exchange looks with Sara and I can tell she's just as out of place here as I am. The apartment above Jess's garage is surprisingly well maintained despite not having anyone live there in years which tells me that Jess probably doesn't spend as much time at our grandparent's place as she claims. I never understood why she moved in there in the first place. 

"So what exactly did the school say happened?" Sara asks while absentmindedly tracing circles on the counter with her finger.

"They don't know much. Just said students saw Josh talking with some other boy, Eric maybe? And then next thing they know the boys are throwing punches. No one will say who started it or why so both boys are suspended. Two days." She says it with a shrug, like it's no big deal. As if 'boys will be boys' is the logical explanation for this. Sara and I know better though. This isn't Josh and something is wrong.

The silence in the room is deafening but we don't break it. Beneath us the sounds of the shop can be heard only as a steady hum. It sounds like business is good. "Aunt Jess if you need to be getting back downstairs we can handle this." I suggest.

"Okay," she nods and moves to leave, "you know where to find me if you need me."

When I can no longer hear her footsteps I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. I take the seat next to Sara at the counter and let my head rest on my arms. My phone buzzes in my pocket for about the eighth time since we got here 30mins ago. I'm supposed to be meeting Sebastian for a study session. After I spilled my guts to him and Amanda a few weeks ago we've actually become pretty good friends. Also it turns out we're in the same anatomy lecture, though with 280 students in that lecture hall you can't really blame us for not knowing. I still refuse to call him Baz though.

"So what now?" Sara asks.

"I don't know." It probably comes out muffled because I don't lift my head from its spot on the counter. "I'm sorry for brushing you off when you said you were worried about Josh."

"It's okay," she replies but it's quiet. This time I do lift my head.

"No, it's not okay. You had a right to be concerned but I was too worried about my own crap to see it." I give her arm a squeeze but she just keeps her eyes on the counter.

My phone buzzes again and I finally just take it out, annoyed at the sound. I should probably explain myself to Sebastian anyway.

The squeak of a door behind us makes both Sara and I jump. Josh is standing there, tear tracks down his cheeks with disheveled hair and a look so distraught that my heart sinks completely. I'm hit with a feeling of failure, because this is the type of pain I've always wanted to protect him from.

"I'm sorry." he says but his voice is so small I almost can't hear him.

"Josh..." I start but I'm at a loss. It's Sara that swoops in. She doesn't say anything, just wraps him up in a bone crushing hug and he cries into her shoulder. I drop down beside them and take them both into my arms, literally holding my family together. The irony isn't lost on me.

We stay like that for a while before he finally pulls away. He dries his eyes with the sleeve of his favourite blue sweater. Sara and I move to the couch and Josh stands awkwardly before us.

"I hit him first. And you don't have to tell me that's wrong, I know it is but I couldn't let it go." He's getting angry now, clenching and unclenching his fist.

"Couldn't let what go?"

"What he said. He said that dad's death was God's mercy. He said that mom's craziness would be enough to drive anyone to an early grave. Said that the crazy was in our blood and that's why we're still alive."

I feel as if the breath has been sucked out of me with a vacuum. I feel as if the world has just tilted 90 degrees. I feel like I just got the news that Dad died all over again. How is it possible that people in this world can be so cruel? I'll never understand. I want to kill this kid, but I know that's not right. Again it's Sara who takes action.

"My sweet Little J. You are braver than all of us put together. I envy your courage and your heart. What that boy said, it's not true, but I don't have to tell you that. And yes, it was wrong to hit him, violence is never the answer, but if you promise to never do it again, I think that we can let it go just this once. Right Bubby?" She turns to me and squeezes my hand in hers, then reaches out to Josh to do the same.

"Right. We'll let this go, but only once. No more fighting, ok?"

"No more fighting, I promise." Josh says with a small attempt at a smile.

I sigh and go to stand. I'm in awe of my sister and her ability to take action. They really don't need me as much as I thought. "I am going to talk to the school about what this kid said. I won't tolerate this type of bullying and if they have any decency they won't either."

~~~~~~~

"Okay I'm only working a short shift so I'll be home for dinner."

"Evan, you don't have to come home right away. Go see Carter or something." Sara gives me a teasing look but it's the sincerity behind her eyes that brings my own smile out.

"He's working the late shift otherwise I would." I shoot back.

We came home shortly after our talk at the garage. Aunt Jess offered to come with us but we politely declined. Sara figured it was no point in going back to school, she'd already missed too much. I had to be at Deja Brew for 3 pm so it was no use trying to get any class work done either.

"Hey can you--"

Sara starts but we both freeze when we hear the porch steps creak. The front door swings open to reveal our mom looking exhausted and having the bags under her eyes to prove it. She's not supposed to come home this early so when she spots us she pauses. For a minute nobody even breathes.

"Why aren't you all at school?" she says moving to put her coffee cup in the sink.

"There was an incident at Josh's school. Sara and I dealt with it." I say with a shrug. "They tried calling you."

"Work was hell."

"Okay, well I've gotta run, Sara and Josh will be here though. We're having dinner for 8." In the corner of my eye, I notice Sara sneak away to stand with Josh who watches from the kitchen doorway.

"Mmm. I'm going to bed. Don't be too loud."

With that she's gone and the air gets noticeably lighter but there's a sadness that lingers behind her. And the smell of booze that just doesn't seem to fade. I sigh and look at my siblings. Josh is still looking towards the stairs, at the ghost of our mother. Sara just looks at me and shrugs.

"At least she acknowledged us this time."