"baby it's too hard, and too scarred
for this to work again."
- the japanese house
___________________________

THE SKY OPENED up with a thunderous crack and rain poured through, turning the sand below Aurora's feet to mud. She stood at the shoreline, toes touching the waves, staring into the water that seemed to stretch on endlessly before her.

It was night time. The sky was black, the water a midnight blue that turned it lethal. But Aurora didn't flinch away from the impending danger. Instead, she stood there frozen, her mind locked on the girl she had lost a year before.

When the storm slowed to a gentle drizzle, footsteps sounded behind Aurora, feet trudging through mud. She still didn't turn around, eyes locked into the water.

"Rory?" Gus called.

She couldn't find the energy to face him. Her cheeks were stained with water. At least now she could pretend it was from the rain.

"What are you doing?" His voice was cautious, concerned. The same tone Gus had used that very first day on the cliff's edge.

"Aurora?" he asked again, his voice sounding closer this time.

Aurora could hear him clearly, but the waves took her back to another time when it was Josephine beside her, stripping off her clothing and wading into the water.

Gus spoke again but Aurora ignored him. She grabbed the hem of her tank top and pulled it over her head. Then she unbuttoned her shorts, pulled them down her legs and kicked them onto the sand.

"What ar—"

She reached behind her back and unhooked her bra, sliding it off her shoulders, down her arms then casting it aside with her other clothes. With only her underwear left, she tugged them down her legs until she stood there naked in the pale glow of the moonlight.

Aurora could hear Gus breathing loudly behind her; she could practically hear his accelerated heart beat and feel the heat rushing to his cheeks. Still, she didn't look back. Instead, Aurora walked into the water until it covered her entire body and only her head was left above.

The entire surface of the ocean was black, aside from a small patch that the moon shone directly onto. Aurora swam until she stood in the illuminated water and stared at the moon. She remembered sitting on the sand and watching Jo do just this. Aurora turned her head to the side, half expecting Jo to be with her now, but the ocean was empty.

"Rory!" Gus called her name from shore but Aurora felt outside of her body, like she was floating in the clouds and watching these two strangers from high above. The curious boy and the girl who could never be saved.

With a final sigh, Aurora whispered, "Goodbye," and turned her back to the moonlight and the warmth of the laughter she could still hear drifting around the waves.

Her eyes instantly locked onto Gus' as she swam back to shore until the water was shallow enough for her toes to dig into the muddy ground and walk. Gus' eyes were wide, his hands balled into fists at his side. As she walked out of the ocean, just before her bare chest passed the water's surface, Gus quickly turned around.

Besides herself, Aurora smiled. His innocence, his goodness, never failed to surprise her.

She stood behind him now on the sand, picking up her clothes and putting them back on. "Are you okay?" Gus asked.

Aurora tapped him on the shoulder lightly. He didn't move. "I'm dressed," she said instead. With that, he turned around slowly with both eyebrows raised.

His eyes quickly ran over her body before resting on hers. "Skinny dipping," he said.

Aurora shrugged as she sat on the sand, staring at the ocean. "Why did you come here?"

Gus sat beside her, stretching his long legs out until his the waves kissed his toes. "Couldn't sleep," was all he said.

"I thought you were over sleeping on the beach."

"I am," he answered. "That doesn't stop it from feeling like home." He turned to her, watching as the moonlight made her eyes shine. She looked far away. "Why are you here?"

To say goodbye. "Couldn't sleep either," she lied.

"So you were laying in bed, staring at the ceiling and thought, hey, skinny dipping would be really fun right now." He glanced at Aurora and she managed a laugh. The sound warmed him from the inside out.

"Something like that," she said quietly.

A beat of silence hummed between them as they stared at the ocean. The only sound was the waves and easy wind that blew the branches of the trees.

"Thomas hates me," Gus said after a moment. Aurora continued to stare ahead of her, not reacting. "Rory?"

She turned to him quickly and blinked, as if just returning back to reality. "What?" she asked, blinking again.

"I said your brother hates me." She shook her head, managing a small smile that didn't reach her eyes.

"He doesn't hate you. He's just being a protective dick," she said.

"He does know that you're the one corrupting me. Right?" Gus teased.

Aurora didn't respond.

"Rory?"

She remained silent.

"Was it the kiss?" he whispered. "Do you regret it?"

The sadness in his voice was enough to make Aurora turn to him; enough to make her place a hand on his cheek. She told herself it was to comfort the sad boy she saw beside her, but Aurora knew the touch was so much more than that. She could hear her heart whispering to her, coaxing her into closing the distance between them like she desperately wanted to.

"I don't regret it," she said with a sad smile, forcing her thoughts to stop. "But it can't happen again, Gus."

He cursed under his breath, running a hand through his curls. "Why not?"

"Because I'm dying," she said.

Gus shook his head quickly, his eyes burning in a way they never had before. "No— No that's not a reason, Rory. That's just your excuse. I want you to tell me the reason."

Aurora pulled her knees to her chest, staring at her hands instead of his eyes. "That is the reason." She lied again.

Gus' hand gently grabbed her chin, forcing her to look him in the eye. "You told me before that you don't fear anything, Rory. But you lied," he whispered. "I know you fear me— what you feel for me." He paused for a moment, eyes searching hers. "Or what you could feel for me," he finished.

Aurora's silence held her answer. She leaned her face into his palm and closed her eyes, wishing for another world where they had the luxury of time.

"I'm trying to protect you," she whispered.

Gus' eyes flared with anger. "I don't want you to protect me," he said, voice nearly a growl. "I'm sick of everyone trying to protect me, Aurora. My parents think their separation is protecting me!" he cried, slamming his fists into the sand. "It's not. It's fucking destroying me."

"Gus." She reached out for him but he moved away from her hand.

"I don't want your protection. I want you."

Aurora stared helplessly at the beautiful, broken boy in front of her as his eyes blazed with everything she was too afraid to say. As she watched Gus, all she could feel in her heart was the endless pain that engulfed her like a flame when Josephine was taken from her too soon.

She didn't want Gus to have to go through that, too. Especially not over her. He was too good. She wasn't worthy of his tears and definitely not his heart.

"I never wanted this," she said, breaking her gaze away from Gus and turning towards the ocean. "All I wanted was a friend. I didn't want to die alone." Die. The word seemed to wedge itself between them. "I was being selfish when I met you," she continued. "I gave you the choice to stay or to run but I shouldn't have even asked, Gus. I shouldn't have let you stay."

His hand latched onto her arm, again saving her from that familiar feeling of drowning. "I stayed," he said, his voice stern. "I'm staying."

Aurora turned to him and felt herself begin to cave. One, two, she counted the freckles on his cheeks. Three, four. "I need a friend," she said at last, staring at him sharply.

His face seemed to sink at her words, but Gus had learned to take what he could get. He nodded, exhaling a long breath. "Fine," he surrendered. "If that's what you want."

"It's not what I want." Her voice was soft as she reached out to trace the curve of his cheek. "But it's for the best."

Gus rolled his eyes and Aurora finally laughed. "I hate that phrase," he mumbled. Aurora placed her head on his shoulder and he sighed, resting his on top of hers.

"Me too," she said.

____

"You didn't have to walk me home," Aurora said. It was nearly two in the morning when they stood in front of her house.

"I saw you naked tonight." Gus shrugged. "It was the least I could do."

Aurora laughed, playfully nudging his shoulder. "You didn't see anything."

"I saw your butt," he said simply. Aurora raised her eyebrows and he smiled. "Very nice, by the way."

She wanted to laugh. She wanted to tease him for the way he said butt like it was a dirty word. But all Aurora could do was wrap her arms around Gus' waist and hold him to her tightly.

"It's been nine days, Gus," she said into his chest. "Nine days and you've managed to worm your way into my heart."

Aurora felt his hands wrap around her until she wasn't sure who was keeping who upright. His lips gently touched the top of her head and she sighed, wishing it was her lips instead.

"It only took you one day to get into mine," was all he said.

Aurora could feel how quickly his heart was racing beneath her cheek. She could feel the warmth of his body against hers and the safety of his hands lingering on her waist. An idea quickly formed in her mind and she heard the words tumble out of her lips before she could stop them.

"Do you want to come inside?" she asked.

Gus' body tensed against hers. Slowly, he pulled back and held her at arm's length. "What?"

"Inside," she repeated, poking him in the stomach.

"But your brother..." Aurora watched as his Adam's apple bobbed in his throat.

Aurora shrugged. "He's sleeping by now."

She watched as Gus' eyes shifted from her, then to her house, then back again. She could practically see the wheels in his head turning as he thought. Then his eyes latched onto hers and he smiled.

"Sure," he answered, voice shaking.

Aurora looped her arm through his and lead him to the door. Slowly, she pushed it open and they stood there frozen, neither breathing. When the door was fully open and the house silent, Aurora gave Gus an encouraging smile and stepped inside, gently pulling him behind her.

She took her shoes off and nodded for him to do the same, gesturing for Gus to pick them up and carry them to her bedroom.

"Hide the evidence," she mouthed with a wink. Gus began to laugh and Aurora clamped her hand over his mouth, barely containing her own laughter. When it subsided, they tip-toed up the stairs and into the security of her bedroom. Aurora gently locked the door then leaned against it, breathing a sigh of relief.

She turned to find Gus standing in the centre of her room, looking terribly out of place. She couldn't help but smile at the sight of him. Long legs, curly hair, shoes dangling out of his hands and his eyes watching her for some type of instruction.

Aurora wondered if this was his first time in a girl's bedroom. Somehow, she knew the answer was yes. The thought made her smile; made her feel special.

Slowly, to not make any noise, she walked to Gus and grabbed the shoes out of his hand, placing them gently on the floor. She gestured for him to get into bed and he obeyed. If it wasn't for the lack of light and the darkness of his skin, she knew his cheeks would be a deep red.

Aurora heard the groan of the bed as he lied in it. Turning her back to Gus, she took off her tank top, then her shorts and tugged on a clean t-shirt from her dresser. Her hair was dirty, she could smell the ocean on her skin, feel the sand clinging to her hair, but she got into bed anyways and pulled the covers up to her chin.

Laying on her back, she snuck a peek at Gus who was on his side, eyes already watching her with that small, secretive smile on his lips. She stared at him in the darkness and it took nearly all her willpower to stop herself from leaning over to kiss him.

From the way Gus' eyes were trained on her mouth, she knew he shared the same thought.

With a sigh, she shifted closer to Gus until her head was nestled into his shoulder, her arm stretched across his chest. She felt his body tense for a small moment before he let himself fold into her, too.

"Gus?" she asked.

"Yeah?"

Aurora paused, tilting her head up to stare at him. "Goodnight," she said into a pair of brown and blue eyes that crinkled at the corners.

"Night, Rory."

When she slept that night, she kissed Gus in her dreams. Over and over again.