The cameras viewfinder is clouded by dark grey steel, the tiny grains that run through the metal slowly inch past as the camera wobbles sideways and into a better position. A sliver of light appears, and then the camera focuses in on an image. Half of the camera's view is still obstructed by the corner, but the other half can see. Around the door frame, through the room, and into another door, the camera watches.

"Today I will be talking all about human grooming rituals. Primarily used as a status symbol for social hierarchy and to attract a mate, humans are known to be the only species that choose a mate based on these grooming standards rather than the physical health of the prospective mate in question." The camera zooms in a little further focusing on the tall powerful back of a human. In the glittering ambient light of the room, the muscles on its bare back churn and roll as taut cords below the skin, the same muscles that allowed the human to stand as a bipedal. Though the human's head is turned away, its face was reflects back into the light of the camera. As the camera zooms in, the human tilts its large head to the side using one large paw to, with surprising delicacy, drag a strange device down the side of its face cutting a trail of bare skin through the strange foamy substance.

"For those of you who don't know," Comes the whispered voice, "This is Vir, my favorite human, he is male and current alpha of this human pack. Now, as I can attest as the human's medical officer, he is in top physical health for a human male, and well within perfect mating age. Current human mating viability lasts anywhere from age 11 to 50, of course human pack practices generally tend to forbid mating below the age of 18. When I say viability, I mean only the ability to bare offspring, and not the morality of doing so." The human runs the strange device down the side of his face again, "By all accounts this particular human would be a perfect genetic candidate to pass on offspring, however, as far as I am aware, he has never participated in ANY mating related rituals known to humans." The camera leans out a little further form the wall, "This confuses me, and I am beginning to wonder if there aren't other extraneous factors that have caused this." He sneaks a little closer, and the human seems to remain unaware of his presence, "This particular grooming practice is an interesting one. Male and female humans can generally be identified by their ability to grow hair on their faces, the human male can and the human female cannot. Now in certain instances, human males use this facial hair as a dominance symbol to other males, a similarity you might find with wild Glorg Beasts and their horns. The larger the "beard" as one might call it the more masculine the human."

The human lifts his chin and drags the object down his neck, "However, this is not always the case. In fact many high status human males do not use beards to signify their masculinity. Generally in absence of a beard you may find a male using his social status, or his nest and territory as a symbol of masculinity. This human has social status to show his dominance and so removes the beard to maintain the visual. He will operate in this practice every day to fill the correct part." The human finishes leaning down to the basin of water to cup a glittering pool within his large claw-tipped hands, "Many human males and females, including this one participate in hunting practices to strengthen their body. Very few humans are able to maintain this particular pattern of musculature." The human turns around shaking water from his face droplets breaking to fall in all directions. His sides rise and fall with the powerful pull of the massive bellows supplying oxygen to his blood. The camera focuses on this movement, as the humans head swivels on a thick muscular neck above a wide chest. The sheer power of the human made his body appear bulging and thick compared too many other species.

As he turns his eyes fall on Krill immediately locking into place like a precision targeting system. The body immediately tenses and the head lowers chin covering the soft neck. The human's hypermobile face twists, and the line of hair above its single eye raises. The strange growling and grumbling begins as the human stalks closer.

"You will be aware by now that the human is attempting to dominate me for moving in on his territory. You see I am violating normal human practices, and now he must let me know of that. See how he stands a little taller, stretches out his muscles, human males present like this often especially when shirtless. It is a very primitive domination technique that humans often don't realize they are doing."

The human pauses noticeably slouching. He chirps something at the camera.

"See I have successfully out dominated him in his territory. Sometimes when a human is more physically imposing than you, it is often prudent to outsmart them. Confusing them will give you the upper hand."

As he speaks the humans eyes widen a little, the line of hair above the eye rises higher. The head tilts slowly to the side then froze before suddenly lunging towards the camera. The image rattles violently from side to side spinning and tilting until the camera turns to view the original narrator. The small figure is well below the human's eye-line and scuttles after swiping for the camera it cannot reach.

The strange human barking begins in earnest zooming in on the Dr. as it backs away.

The Dr. swipes for the camera, "Of course now he knows that, he is INTENT on proving his dominance over me. Human males LOVE to use their height as a source of dominance to shorter species, and also shorter humans, just watch. If you ever see a human with an object over their head trying to keep it out of reach from other humans, you know what they are doing it for. It is very much a dominance tactic."

***

The screen slowly winks on from blackness and The Dr.'s face can be seen. His voice is very low, "I have spent much of my time around the male of the human species, but now that I am working with Dr. Katie on a regular basis, I have found that female human grooming rituals can be FAR more extensive." He turns the camera around and movies quietly into the medical bay. The room is empty, but a sound can be heard just barely through the speakers. It is mesmerizing absolutely hypnotic in nature, like a thousand Windwisps in unison. The sound rises and then falls and then spins tracing patterns through sound, "Can you hear her? Both male and female humans are capable of producing these sounds, however I find the female humans to be most pleasant since their vocal range spends more time within our appropriate range of hearing."

He turns the corner slowly zooming in on the female human. It's honestly quite difficult to tell the difference between the male and the female. She is a tad smaller and slimmer than her male counterpart, but her body still churns with powerful human muscles emphasizing her powerful graceful movement as she sways back and forth in time with her own haunting voice. Her long dark fur waves around her shoulders, and the light that plays over it. "The human female can spend anywhere from no time to almost two hours preening themselves. The female dominance structure is not so dissimilar to males. They use body strength and social status to get where they want to be, but often human females compete by way of competitive face painting. First, like the male, the female will attempt to whiten their teeth. They do this at least twice a day with flavored paste doused in chemicals, healthy straight teeth indicate both genetic health and physical wealth. After than she will attempt to make her skin look clearer, also an indication of physical health." He zooms in on the human as she shimmies back and forth in some strange hypnotic dance. In one hand she is holding a strange cylindrical object using it as a microphone as she makes her strange and beautiful singing noises, "The primitive human brain recognizes facial gender based on tonal theory, and can you really blame them as if human males and females weren't already impossible to tell apart. The male tends to have a single-tone face with the lips and the eyes appearing the same shade as the surrounding skin. Human females on the other hand have slightly darkened lips and surrounding eyes she will darken both her lips and her eyes in order to heighten these features all by using strange pastes and sticks."

The human female opens her mouth wide after pressing her lips together showing a line of sharp white teeth glistening with moisture.

"Both male and female humans use their head-fur for attraction purposes some wear it short and others wear it long. Human hair is also an indication of physical health, which is why many female humans groom it so religiously and so regularly. Humans tend to prefer soft, shiny hair when it is long. She will attempt to use that heated rod to curl the strands making the hair look bigger. The more pretty fur you have, the better." He steps a bit closer, "The most important part for a human female? The eyes. There are theories out there that the human eye is a window to what is known as the soul. Now, personally I think the theory is a whole load of waffle. But some say that the human, as we understand it, is only the pupae form of a human, and that the more powerful essence of a human resides inside like a cocoon. When the human 'dies' it is not actually death but some sort of evolution to the next stage of life. Some say that human highlight the eyes because it is the only place where you can see this powerful being hidden." He snorts and begins to laugh, "Of course that is a complete load of it." More chuckling, "Humans don't just wait for this fur to grow. If they want longer fur, they will actually attach fake or donated fur to their own. In fact, there is a market out there simply for fur where humans cell and buy it. The claws of the hands are also points of notice. Both human females and males have each of their claws manicured to a specific size and shape, and will often put clear or colored gels on top to preserve the claw and make them stand out."

He steps even closer, but as he does, the camera shakes suddenly. Something clatters to the floor with a loud bang. The human is on its feet immediately spinning in a tight circle so fast it is almost hard to catch. Her large, dark eyes are narrowed, her chin is lowered. Her entire body is taught muscle ready to pounce one foot one way and one foot another. In one hand she brandishes the hot cylinder. Her teeth are barred.

However, when she sees rill her body relaxes and she tilts her head to the side in that strange way that humans have. She shows her teeth again and chirps something.

"See, the human female is much less territorial than the male. If the lips are pulled back and the head is lowered, showing the teeth is not good, like you saw at first, but with wide eyes and a lifted chin it is a good thing. This particular human is a healthy female specimen 32 years old 128 pounds, almost sixty pounds less than the male." The humans head tilts even further and she hoots at him from where she stands.

"She is very curious, just like the alpha, but since we share this space, she is likely to be much less territorial." The human moves forward setting her object down at the table as she does. Her eyes are wide and curious as she approaches the camera. The noises she makes are higher than the male human's but in the same general cadence.

"Let's see what she does."

A deeper grumble emanates from behind the camera, and the Dr. Turns to find the alpha standing in the doorway, "The alpha is here likely to make sure I am staying in my place like I should in the human pack. If I cause trouble it is his job to appropriately discipline me." The human walks around in a wide circle coming to stand next to the female human.

He chirps something at her and she responds back. "Look at how the humans never stand facing each other directly. Directly facing another human is an invitation to fight or a challenge, they always stand at a 45 degree angle from each other." The humans glance down at their feet. "See how he has stopped trying to dominate me now that he is in my territory. You will also notice that, even though he is the alpha he will not try to dominate her. Generally he only tends to do that to his subordinates if they are doing something wrong. He is also not a particularly dominating human."

The two humans glance at each other communicating with their strange body movements. He tilts his chin in Krill's direction, and she raises her head in acknowledgement.

"See the bodily communication they are using, they are trying to communicate without letting me know what they are planning. " The female human began to move forward. The Dr. Backs away.

His camera is once again taken from him, and the humans park themselves on one of the medical benches camera pointing at Krill as they chirp back and forth animatedly.

Krill sighs as they continue to chirp, "Getting two sociable humans together often results in this playful behavior. But I probably won't get my camera back for a while."

Unadded Translation

Is this your new hobby now, Krill spying on people when they're half naked?

What? No, I wasn't trying to dominate you. Where the hell did that come from?

This big ugly insect is Krill, you probably think he's being clever, but he's really just being a massive ass. I have recently become aware that assery isn't the natural state of their species.

Krill what are you doing here. Are you filming me?

Talking about my weight now are we?

There you are Krill, I've been looking for you.

Morning Dr. Katie, he isn't bothering you is he?

No, not really but he is being sort of silly. Talking about us like we're animals at the zoo

Hello this is Commander Vir and Dr. Katie, bringing you live footage of a Vrul in its natural habitat. See how it scuttles across the floor like that raising its arms, that's the universal signal for. I am small short and weak and I can't get my camera back on my own without help. The Vrul are supposed to be very smart, but we are pretty sure this one comes damaged. Very terrible brain trauma at birth, quite crazy.