TANYA'S P.O.V

I kept on walking here and there at this quite hospital corridor.  I seriously hate hospital, you have no idea.  I've been standing alone for 15 minutes now, because Diana was in the check-up room in front of me with Doctor McCain.  I'm nervous about everything.  It's like the sign of a mess life.

"Done."  Diana found me once she opened the room door.

"How was it?"  I asked concernedly.

"I think we can't conclude this too early.  Doctor said that he'll call me tomorrow."  She smiled.

"How bad the Celiac is actually?"  I bowed my head, starting to cry.

"I don't know twin.  But from what I read, I might not be able to consume proteins anymore."  She rubbed my back.  "But I'm okay now."

"Prove me wrong, but we get always protein in any food we usually eat."  I stared at her.  "Is that maen..."

"Yes."  Diana chuckled.  "It'll be really selected or I'll get poisoned by protein.  Funny, and excited, isn't it?"

"Diana..."

"Hey Tanya.  Ssh...it's all good.  I'm ready for Celiac.  I'm done crying.  If that will happen, so be it."  She smiled genuinely.

"What about your parents?  Ariana?"  We spoke as we were walking to the parking lot.

"They don't need to know.  It's a piece of cake."  She took the car key from her bag.

"Piece of cake?  You're dying!"  I shouted.

"Isn't it good?  I have a solid reason to think that I'm gonna meet my parents without committing suicide."  Diana slowly drove us to the nearest Starbucks.

"It's not like that, Dee.  Everybody wants you to be alive.  You can't leave me either.  You can't..."  I pulled my knees against my chest.  Look.  My best friend is possibly dying right now.

"Death wouldn't be so hard, baby.  I'm not scared anymore." 

"Can we stop?  Can you stop talking about death?  You're not gonna die anytime soon.  None of us would."  I swept away my tears.

"Okay."  She sighed.  "It's just we have to be ready for that too."

"Diana!"  I finally felt too dizzy.

"Alright."  She smiled.  "We're here."

We stopped talking and soon walked up to the store.  Diana and I stayed in silence.  But I got like thousand of things in my head.  First, if Diana got Celiac disease, means this would be the last Starbucks time for her.  Second, you know protein.  It's in everything.  Milk, breads, coffees, cereals, meats, chees, burgers, you name it.  You name it.  That's why I'm freaking out.  She'll not be able to eat anything, really soon.  After all, how could she make it?

"Don't you think at least Riley or Toby should know about your...feeling for Connor?"  I murmured.

"Never ever think about it.  Tanya, I'm a fan.  Just a normal fan.  I'm like the one in the gigantic crowd.  I wouldn't be able to make it, no matter what."  She rushed to answer me.

"You would regret it if we didn't tell them, Dee."  I convinced her.  "Give it to me.  I'll speak to Riley.  He's the wisest."

"No!  No, that's not possible.  Never."  She shook her head.

"Then now what?"  I sighed.

"Tomorrow's basket tournament.  That's now what."  Diana sipped her hot chocolate.

"Can you even play?  We can tell the coach to ask someone to replace you."  I suggested.

"Which will make me feel like I'm useless already.  I'm still gonna play."  She nodded her head.

"Anything you want..."  I sighed again.

"Thanks sweety."  Diana held my hand.

DIANA'S P.O.V

We spent some hours at the Starbucks before going home.  It's 9.10 pm.  I drove my car to Tanya's house to drive her safely first, before going back.  I understand Tanya's feeling.  She's worried about me.  But I'm sorry, I've lost the sense of life too.  I don't think I would like to make it alive after this.  Within that tough outlook, I wanted to die.

Don't get me wrong.  I was extremely scared of Celiac.  I've cried for two days, way before I told Tanya about this.  I discovered the symptoms in me and searched about it.  There was something in me which didn't like it when I told Tanya the truth.  But she's my only best friend.  And I don't want to live in sorrow because of that.

"There you go."  I smiled to Tanya.  We arrived at her house.  "Look, sweety.  I know how awful this might be looked like.  But I can't stop myself from doing what I love.  Like basket, like singing with you.  I still want to be normal.  And we yet don't know about the Celiac.  I might be just getting a normal sick.  Let's hope not."

"But you lose your hope..."  She bowed her head.

"At some point, yeah.  I mean...  Seeing Connor and Ariana isn't easy.  For once in my life, I want to be loved.  I want this guy loves me back.  I had sacrificed my feelings for some guys back in the old days for Ariana.  It's...hard, to be the shadow.  But I can't blame her either.  The life chooses her."

"I want you to feel what the happiness is, Dee.  As a friend, it's hurt to witness.  You have a tough life."  She cracked up.  "But, um...  I will help you with anything."

"Thank you.  That's all I need to know."  I hugged her tightly.

"Be alive, Dee.  Be alive.  Please."  She cried harder.

"I'll definitely try.  Heck, I still want to go shopping with you.  Literally."  I laughed as well as crying.

"Haha.  Stupid girl.  I love you."  Tanya kissed my forehead.  "I'll see you tomorrow.  Fight for the tournament, Captain?"

"Aye!"  We fistbumped happily still with the eyes full of tears.

Tanya walked back to her house, waved me goodbye, so I drove further to home.  I saw Ariana's room light was still off.  She wasn't home yet.  I parked my car in the garage.  I took my towel and soon got shower.  After dyed my hair, I lied down on the couch in the living room, watched TV...or the TV watched me, I don't know.  Something like that.

"Aww I'm so happy!  Mr. and Mrs. McDonough are really kind!"  I heard Ariana's voice from the carpark.

"Yeah, and they like you too."  Then there's Connor.

"I'm home!"  Ariana walked inside.  "Dee, you're sleeping?"  She shook my hand.

"Uh, I'm sorry?"  I faked rubbing my eyes.  "No I'm not.  Was I?"

"You was, baby.  How was the shopping?  Is Tanya here?"  She sit on my right.

"Haha I thought I was watching.  Well, the shopping was fun as usual.  And nope, Tanya isn't here.  There'll be tournament tomorrow, she needs some sleep."  I repositioned myself.

"What tournament?"  Connor sit on Ariana's side and played with her hair.

"Basket baby.  My sister's a basketball team captain in her school."  Ariana helped me to answer.

"Oh!  I guess we can watch her!"  He glared at me.  "Right, Diana?"

"No!  No no no...  Uhm, no, I don't think...you have time for it.  Like you have recording schedule tomorrow sissy, remember?"  I laughed awkwardly.

"But I don't."  Connor shook his head.

"Shouldn't you accompany Ari then?"  I smiled.

"Well I'm torn now..."  Ari mumbled.  "Would love to see you playing, Dee.  But..."

"Don't bother to, please.  It's okay."  I drank a lot of water in the kitchen.

"Are you okay?  You look so tired."  Ariana came and hugged me.

"Yeah, I just...  Not really, maybe I'm tired."  I sighed.

"Have you gotten dinner?"  Connor studied my gesture.  Yeah I'm awkward and all.

"I got Starbucks with Tanya earlier tonight."  I nodded.

"Okay..."  He didn't buy my answer but he tried to.

"I...think I'm gonna get some sleep.  Until tomorrow!"  I waved away.

"Dee, is it okay if Connor sleepover?"  Ariana's question made my tears streaming down harder.

"S...su...sure!  Heck, why not!"  I gained my whole self to turn around and laughed happily.  "Feel like home, Connor!"

Now you understand, why do I want to die?