Some Things Lost, Some Things Found

"Hello?" Ryder groggy voice said through the phone as she answered it, not even bothering to open her eyes.

"I'm sorry, I woke you," Spencer whispered, knowing it was a lot later at home than in Nevada but Morgan had all but dialed the phone for him, knowing Spencer needed to talk to her.

"No, it's fine. Is everything okay?" Ryder asked as she sat up in bed, more awake after hearing the odd tone in Spencer's voice.

"Um," Spencer hesitated before opening his mouth again to say everything was okay but Ryder beat him to it.

"Don't lie to me, Spence." She whispered, knowing that was exactly what he was about to do.

"Bad dream," He mumbled as he looked up at the stars.

"I'm glad you called me," Ryder told him as she leaned against her pillows, getting in a more comfortable position. "Do you want to tell me about it?"

Spencer shook his head before realizing Ryder couldn't see him and spoke again. "No, I just needed to hear your voice."

"I'm here," She said, knowing this case was most likely getting to him because his work was the only topic he tried to steer clear of when he talked to her, only giving her the few details he had to. "You know you can tell me anything."

"I know," Spencer mumbled.

"You don't have to, just know that I will listen whenever you need me too. And I don't know what's happening but I have no doubt that you can figure it out and save whoever needs saving."

Feeling a small smile pull at his lips, Spencer nods his head and lets out a breath. "Thank you, I needed to hear that," He told her, feeling better already from just talking to her.

"I'll always be here, Spence," Ryder assured him and Spencer could feel his heart flutter at her words. "I love you."

"I love you," Spencer repeated, wishing he could be back home with her and wrap her in his arms. "I'm okay, I'll let you get back to sleep."

"You sure?"

"Yeah," Spencer says with another nod. "Goodnight, Ryder, I love you."

"I love you too, Spence." Ryder says before the couple hang up their phones.

Sighing with one last look up at the sky, Spencer walked back into the Bridges' house.

"You okay?" Morgan asked his friend from where he sat in one of the chairs next to the couch.

"Yeah," Spencer nodded as he retook his place on the couch, closing his eyes before falling into a dreamless sleep.

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"It's only for a few more days, I promise."

"Are you sure you're okay, Spence?" Ryder asked her boyfriend, concerned by his phone call.

"Yeah, I'm just gonna stay a few days with my mom, you know I haven't seen her in a long time." Spencer said, guilt building in his gut as he lied to her.

"I understand if there's something you don't want to tell me, Spencer, but please don't lie to me." She could hear it in his voice, she always could when he was lying to her. She got it, she did, and she didn't think she had to right to make him tell her everything but she hated when he thought he couldn't.

"Those dreams I've been having lately," Spencer started, unable to keep up the lie. "It just, they brought up some old memories. I'm okay, I just need to figure a few things out."

"Okay, take all the time you need." Ryder nodded, crossing her free arm over her chest. "I can even come down there if you want."

"I couldn't ask you to do that. I'm okay, promise." He quickly told her. He'd be lying if he said having her by his side would make this easier but at the same time it'd be harder, he thought. It was easier all around if she stayed home.

"Just call me, okay? And if you change your mind, I'm here."

"Have I told you how much I love you lately?" Spencer asked with a smile, her words meaning everything to him.

"Maybe," Ryder said slowly, her lips pulling up into a smile. "But there's no limit on how many times you can say it."

"Well, I love you and I will call you, don't worry."

"You make it hard not to." She told him. Ryder was always worried for him, every time he walked out the door, especially when he went off on a case. "I love you."

"I got to go, but I'll call you soon, I love you."

"Love you too."

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The next few days were dificult for Spencer, with seeing his father again, accusing him of crimes he didn't commit and secrets of the past coming to light. He'd called Ryder like he promised until he got so caught up in the case he forgot until Morgan suggested it to him, knowing the young women would be able to talk some sence into Reid.

He tried his best to open up to her but it was still hard for him, to which she understood, doing her best with what she was given. In the end, everything worked out for the most part, leaving Spencer, Morgan, and Rossi to fly home with the news that JJ had gone into labor.

Ryder had met them when they landed, immediately wrapping her arms around Spencer in a hug before they went to the hospital together to see JJ and her new son. He was one of the cutest babies Ryder had ever seen and she couldn't wipe the smile off her face, especial when JJ had asked if she wanted to hold him.

After saying there goodbyes, Ryder and Spencer - the latter gaining the title of godfather - went home. Spencer was exhausted and almost fell asleep on the way home, collapsing on Ryder's bed as soon as they arrived.

It was still early so Ryder made them dinner in case he woke up, passing the time by showering while the food was in the oven. Stepping out, Ryder wrapped a towel around herself as she heard footsteps in the hall, alerting her to the fact Spencer had woken up, leaving her to quickly dress in a T-shirt and sleep shorts before joining him in the kitchen.

"Good evening," She greeted him with a smile, her arms going around his waist from behind, her chin resting on his back. "You feeling okay?"

"Better now," Spencer answered, turning in her arms to face her, bending down to place a soft kiss on her lips. "Something smells good."

"That would my famous lasagna." She told him before furrowing her brows. "Or my shampoo."

"I think it's the food," Spencer said with a small laugh. "Although your shampoo does smell nice too."

"It does, doesn't it?" Ryder mumbled as she stood on her tiptoes to give Spencer a kiss, the couple being pulled apart by the beep of the timer. "Hope you're hungry."

"Starving," Spencer responded as he moved to help her with the food, making them both drinks before they sat down to eat. "My mom want's to meet you."

"Really?" Ryder asked with a smile. "You told her about me?"

"Of course I did," He nodded, smiling back at her. "She was apprehensive about it at first but after I told her how great you were, she seemed excited."

"Well, I would love to meet her." Spencer had told Ryder all about his mother, about her schizophrenia and everything. "Whenever you're ready."

"Yeah," Spencer nodded, giving Ryder's hand a gentle squeeze before turning back to his food.

"I was talking to Emily earlier," Ryder started as the couple got ready for bed, having finished their food and cleaned up. "She said I should come to the teams next night out."

"Oh yeah?" Spencer asked, crawling over the bed to sit behind her, his chin resting on her shoulder. "Sounds good."

"You think so?" She asked with a smile, turning her head to catch Spencer's eyes.

"Know so," He answered with a quick kiss before he moved to his side of the bed.

Smiling to herself, Ryder turns and climbs under the covers and slide over to Spencer, resting her head on his chest before falling into a peaceful sleep.

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"What?" Ryder questioned her brother, noticing his stare. "Is there something on my face? If there is you better tell me."

"No, there's nothing on your face." He chuckled. "You just seem happy."

"I am," Ryder nodded. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"No reason," Tommy shook his head, happy that his sister was doing well. He had been worried when he shipped out again, he was always worried about his baby sister and always would be but she was doing well for herself and he was happy for her. "I love you."

"I love you too, Tommy, but why are you saying that?" She asked, worry bubbling up in her gut. "Is something wrong?"

"No," He scoffed. "Can't I just let my sister know I care about her without an ulterior motive?"

"No, of course, you can, I'm sorry, I just worry." She told him with a laugh, her hands cold from her loose grip on the cup of water in front of her.

"Yeah, I feel like mom somehow passed that down onto us despite the fact that we weren't actually related." Tommy chuckled, thinking back to how protective their mother was.

"She probably did," Ryder agreed with her own laugh. "I miss this."

"Yeah, me too." Her brother agreed. "But I'm home now, should be for a little while, so hopefully we can stop missing this."

"I love you, big brother." She told him with a smile. "You ready for tomorrow?"

"I'm never ready for that day." Tommy said, the smiles gone from both the siblings' faces now. "But we'll be okay."

"I'm just glad you're here." Ryder sighed, dreading the next day. The anniversary of their mother's death. It wasn't easier for either of them but Ryder always imagined it was harder for Tommy, Eleanor had raised him since he was a baby, she was the only mother he ever knew. It was the same with Ryder, the older women was the only true parent she had ever had but she didn't know her nearly as long as Tommy and she felt selfish thinking it was any harder for her than it was for him.

"I wouldn't miss it." Tommy informed as silence fell between the two only for a moment. "Talk about a shift in mood."

Chuckling, Ryder shakes her head as she tries to get rid of the negative thoughts. "You coming for dinner tonight?"

"Definitely. Is Spencer around?"

"No, he's away on a case." Once again Ryder had to remind herself that Spencer was away saving people, she had to understand that but she wanted him there so badly right now, he always made things easier to deal with. But at least Tommy was there and Steve would always be there for her so she wasn't alone.

"I can stay over if you want." He offers and Ryder nods, not wanting to be alone.

"Yeah, okay."

"Alright, enough of this, let's go for a walk." Tommy put on a smile, standing and offering his hand to Ryder, pulling her from her seat before the two made their leave.

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"How long have you been up?"

"I don't know, a while." Ryder shrugged at her bothers question, her eyes watch her cellphone as she twirls it between her fingers.

"Do me a favor, sis," Tommy said, catching Ryder's eyes when she finally looked up at him. "Call him."

"No, I'm sure he's busy." She shook her head, her eyes going back down to her phone.

"And I'm sure he won't mind," Tommy whispered while leaning over the back of the couch. "Call him, or I will."

"Okay, fine." Ryder gave in, pushing her brother away before turning back to her phone, dialing Spencer's number.

"Hey," Her boyfriend's voice greeted through the phone after a few rings, Spencer having excused himself from the team to take her call.

"I'm sorry, if you're busy you can go." Ryder told him, not wanting to be a bother despite all the times he had told her she wasn't and never would be.

"No, no, it's fine. Is something wrong?" Spencer asked, worry seeping into his voice.

"I-I just needed to hear your voice." She whispered to him, turning to look into the kitchen, her brother nowhere in sight.

"Ry, is everything okay?" Spencer pushed, sensing something off with her behavior.

Sighing, Ryder using the hand not holding the phone to her ear to play with the blanket thrown over her lap. "Today is the anniversary of my mother's death." She forced the words out, closing her eyes as she did. "And I know it's been years but it's never any easier, you know? I mean she was the first person to ever treat me like I was family and I just miss her so much."

"Of course it's not any easier, she was your mother. Damn it, I should be there." Spencer added more to himself than to Ryder, beating himself up over the fact that he wasn't there for her.

"No, it's okay, you're working and Tommy is here. I just knew talking to you would make me feel better."

"We should be done soon, I'll be back as soon as I can, promise." Spencer said with a glance towards his team, wishing he could be back home with her instead of where he was.

"Thanks, Spence. I'll be okay, don't rush. I love you."

"Call me if you need anything, okay? Whenever." Spencer caught Morgan's eye, the older man waving him over when he did. "I got to go, I love you."

"Love you, see you soon." Ryder said before hanging up the phone, letting out a sigh before she stood from the couch, returning to her room to get dressed for the day.

"You ready to go?" Tommy asked his sister once she emerged from her room a few minutes later.

"Yeah," She mumbled with a nod, tightening her coat as they walked to the front door and out of her apartment.

Driving them to a local flower shop, the siblings pick up a bouquet of peonies, their mother's favorite flower, before driving the rest of the way to the cemetery. The weather didn't seem fitting for the day, Ryder thought, the sun was shining bright and there wasn't a cloud in sight. The cold weather seemed to be the only right thing.

"I was such a bitch to her when we first met." Ryder stated as she looked down at the tombstone in front of her, feeling her brother's presence from where he stood beside her.

"You weren't that bad and she understood." Tommy assured her, his hands shoved deep into his pockets as the wind blew on them.

"I was horrible, to you and her." The younger woman shook her head, watching the flower peddles shift in the breeze.

"She never held anything against you, you know that. She loved you." Tommy tore his eyes away from his mother's grave and let them rest on his sister, seeing her head hanging low. "C'mon, you know how mom was with this stuff, she hated it when we were sad."

"Yeah, she did, didn't she?" Ryder said with a small laugh. "I remember once I had had a bad day at school, I locked myself in my room, refused to come out, she showed up outside my door with so much junk food. We ate until we were sick."

"She was good like that." Tommy nodded, remembering all the times his mother cheered him up, especially after his father died. He couldn't remember ever seeing her sad even though he knew she was, she hid it in order to comfort him. She always put her them before herself.

"I just wish we had more time with her," Ryder mumbled, leaning into her brother's side when he put an arm over her shoulders.

"Me too," He agreed with a nod, his eyes glued to his mothers name carved into the tomb stone. "Me too."

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"Everything okay? You've been acting weird since you took that phone call." Derek asked his friend as he took the seat across from him on the jet.

"Yeah, just...ready to get home." Spencer answer, the book in his head going unread as his eyes stared out the window.

"Is she okay?" Morgan took an educated guess on what was bothering the young man.

"Ryder?" Reid asked, earning a small nod from Derek. "I think so." He said, unsure of his answer. "She called me, I knew something was wrong. You know? She sounded upset. Apparently, today is the anniversary of her mother's death."

"Oh, man," Morgan sighed, leaning back in his seat. "That's tough."

"Yeah, I just wanted to be there for her but I couldn't," Spencer said, bitterness in his words. He loved his job but hated it when it got in the way of him helping the ones he loved.

"Don't do that man, there's nothing you could've done, but you can go to her and be there for her now." Derek told him, hating the thought of Spencer beating himself up over something he couldn't prevent.

"I guess you're right," Reid admitted, closing the book and setting it in his lap. "Doesn't make me feel any better."

"Yeah," Morgan sighed once again, shaking his head. "Not much will."

"She told me the other day that Emily invited her to the next time the team went out." Spencer changed the subject, knowing there was nothing else he could do until they landed.

"Great idea, we all want to get to know her better." Morgan agreed, wanting to better know the young woman who stole his best friend's heart. "I think we earned that much, you keeping her from us for almost a year." He joked.

"Yeah," Spencer smiled. "It'll have been a year last month." A whole year together and he still got nervous around her like they'd just met and he only loved her more and more each day.

"Congratulations," Derek told his friend with a smile, happy for him. It wasn't common to find what he had and even less to keep it, especially with this job. "I'm ready to be an uncle whenever, by the way."

Uh-" Spencer stuttered, blinking as he processed Derek's words. He had thought about kids with Ryder, of course, he had and he wants them one day but hearing the words from someone else just makes it even more real. "I, uh-"

"Relax Reid, I was only joking." Morgan chuckled, amused by the shocked look on Spencer's face. "Partly." He added with another quiet laugh.

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Once the jet landed, Spencer wasted no time in rushing out of the office and to Ryder's apartment, using his key to let himself in, his eyes immediately scanning the room, seeing Tommy sat on the couch, the younger man holding a finger to his lips before point to the part of the couch Spencer couldn't see.

"She tried waiting up, but..." Tommy trailed off once Spencer was close enough to hear his quieted voice, looking down at his sleeping sister on the couch next to him.

"She didn't tell me." Reid said as he crouched down in front of Ryder, lightly pushing some of her dark hair from her face.

"I'm not surprised. Ry's never been one to talk about stuff like that." Tommy said, knowing how much his sister didn't like talking about her past. "You can take it from here?"

"Yeah, thank you." Spencer nodded to Tommy as he slowly stood from the couch, returning to the guest room where he was staying for the night. "Hey, love." He greeted his girlfriend with a smile when he noticed her eyes blinking open.

"Spence?" She mumbled sleepily, her voice groggy as she rubbed her eyes.

"It's me. Let's get you to bed." Helping her up, Spencer guides Ryder down the hall and to her room where she wraps her arms around him in a tight embrace. "I'm sorry I couldn't be here."

"It's okay, you didn't know." She assured him, pulling away from the hug to kiss him. "You're here now, that's what matters."

"You want to get some sleep?"

"Yes, please," Ryder answered, taking Spencer's hand and pulling him over to the bed, climbing in and giving him the chance to change before he joined her, wrapping her in his arms. "I love you."

"I love you," Spencer repeated, placing a kiss on her head.

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"Anyone up for drinks?" Emily asked the team as everyone prepaired to head out for the night.

"Sounds good," Agent Todd agreed as she came down from her office.

"Count me in. Reid, is Ryder busy?" Morgan asked his friend, remembering the conversation they had on the jet a few days before.

"Shouldn't be," He responded, pulling out his phone to check in on her.

"Who?" Todd asked, the name unfamiliar to her.

"Spencer's girlfriend," Morgan said in a teasing voice, laughing when he saw Spencer roll his eyes and shake his head. Of course, Derek had teased him relentlessly sense he'd met Ryder so he was mostly used to it by now, deciding it was just best to ignore him when he did.

"I didn't know you had a girlfriend." The stand-in agent said in surprise, turning her attention to Reid as he looked at his phone, a pink tint rising in his cheeks with the new attention.

"Yeah, for a year now, was it?" Emily asked rhetorically, tilting her head to the side as she also looked to Spencer. "But we've only known for a few months."

"Yeah, he kept her from us." Morgan continued with narrowed eyes, not missing Todd's confused face as she looked between her fellow agents.

"I can't imagine why," Todd said sarcastically with chuckled.

"Can't imagine why what?" David asked while joining the group, only catching the tail end of their conversation.

"Talking about Ryder," Emily informed the older man, collecting the last of her things as she did.

"Oh," Rossi hummed in understanding. "Yeah, who knew Reid was so sneaky."

"Seriously?" Spencer whispered to himself, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. "She's free but I'm second-guessing my decision to go now."

"No, Reid, we're just playing." Emily told her friend, patting him on the shoulder.

"Yeah, c'mon, let's go out, I promise to keep the teasing to a minimum." Morgan offered, raising his hands in slight surrender.

"I'm gonna go pick her up, I'll meet you guys there." Spencer said before rushing from the office and heading to Ryder's apartment where the young women was getting ready to go out.

"Spence, I told you you didn't have to come." She told him when he entered her home, grabbing her coat from the back of the couch.

"I know, I wanted to." He answered, wrapping his arms around her, smiling as he leaned down to kiss her.

"Was Derek teasing again?" Ryder asked suspiciously, raising her eyebrows at her boyfriend.

"Maybe a little." He shrugged.

"It's because he loves you." Ryder sighed, moving away from Spencer to grab her purse. "We'll be late."

Shaking his head, Spencer followed Ryder out of the apartment and the couple drove to a bar and grill the team often frequented, going in to find the team.

"There they are," Morgan said with a big smile when he saw them approaching, moving to throw his arm around Ryder's shoulder in a greeting hug. "How've you been, little lady?"

"Good, I'm good." Ryder answered, moving to hug Emily and Garcia. "And you guys?"

"Oh, you know," Emily shrugged, smiling at the younger women. "We're glad you could join us."

"Me too, thanks for the invite." Ryder responded as her eyes fell on an unfamiliar face.

"Jordon Todd," The agent introduced herself, holding out her hand for Ryder to shake. "I'm the agent filling in for JJ."

"Right," Ryder said in realization, remembering Spencer had mentioned her. "Nice to meet you."

"Likewise."

"Drinks," Penelope shouted out, turning her attention to the newcomer. "What's your poison, sweetie?"

"I'm not really much of a drinker." Ryder admitted, never having acquired a taste for the stuff as she saw what it did to the people she grew up around.

"That makes two of you," Morgon nodded towards Spencer, the younger man not having much of a taste for alcohol either.

The rest of the night was filling with various conversations and laughs, leaving the young couple stumbling out at a late hour to get back home, smiles on both their faces.

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As it neared Christmas, Ryder became busy with her work. It was a hectic time of the year, she didn't just photograph models, she did family pictures as well, and as everyone got ready to get their holiday cards out, she was busy with back to back apointments.

She was excited for this years Christmas, Tommy was home and it would be her first one with Spencer, she couldn't wait despite her dislike for gift shopping. She hated it because she sucked at it, she never knew what to get anyone, especially Spencer.

But she tried not to stress about it, the thoughts easily leaving her mind as she got buried in work. Like now, the young women was rushing from her apartment to meet up with a small family for baby's first Christmas pictures, holding her phone to her ear with her shoulder.

"It's perfectly fine, Spence, I'm super busy anyway." She told her boyfriend with a chuckle. "Just call me when you can."

"Okay, I will, I'm sorry again." Spencer apologized, the team about to leave for the jet, having just been called away on a case.

"Stop apologizing, Spence, it's okay, we probably wouldn't have been able to see each other much anyway, just go catch the bad guys, I'll see you when you get back, okay?"

"I love you," Spencer sighed, feeling bad for having to be away over the holidays.

"Have a safe flight Spence, I love you too." Ryder said her goodbyes, struggling to hang up her phone and slip it into her pocket without dropping anything in her hands. "Oh, I'm sorry," She apologized to a man when she bumped his shoulder.

"Are you Ryder Mathews?" The middle-aged man asked, causing Ryder to stop in her tracks and look up at him, his face unfamiliar to her.

"Yes?" She stated, the single word coming out as a question as she squinted her eyes at him. "Do I know you?"

"No, you wouldn't," He said, wringing his hands as his nerves got the better of him. "But I know you." His words only confused her more, her heart beating faster as she regards the man with suspicious eyes.

"I'm your father."
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